Does guys hitting on you boost your self-esteem?

Question

I know a lot of girls who are insecure despite being hit on all the time. I'm curious how you feel about it.

Answer 1

Xper 2

It all depends. Let me explain. I get hit on a lot being that I'm a bartender and stripper dealing with flirtatious mean is my job. Honestly though I MOSTLY hate it. I guess because when you hear the same thing from so many guys you start knowing the true intention behind every "hey beautiful" and "has anybody told you how stunningly pretty you look". I get hit on a lot just walking down the street too though, and still it's not much better with every catcall and car honk. Now I said it depends because there are the FEW and true gentleman out there where when they throw you a compliment you see the sencerity in their eyes and the genuine truth in their voice, and when those few do compliment it makes me feel like I really am beautiful and does boost my self esteem immensely, but when everybody else says it all I really hear is "your a nice piece of ass to fuck n forget" and that makes me feel like I'm dressing too permiscuious even though I'm in a t-shirt n leggings, or that I look like I'm easy or a hoe, but the worst feeling is hearing it so much that you actually start to believe that it might really be all your good for because in the scheme of things they just placed you in a "easy fuck able" box along with 50 other hoe ass basic bitches they used those compliments on who actually bought it, meaning they got no real respect for you cause they view you no better than the hoe they fucked n chucked last night smh. As I said it depends.

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1 Person

Kaazsz

+1 y
You basically explained what I've always thought in my own head and why it was always so hard for me to talk to girls. I feel like every guy is just all over them saying whatever they can to get in their pants and girls will assume I'm exactly the same as the rest. I am a genuine person but I was never sure how to show it.
that-panda

+1 y
To be honest it's not just the guys fault. The problem is also that too many girls feed into the douchebags then bitch n moan that they can't find a real man when the real man they are "looking for" they pushed aside for the asshole! Too many girls thrive off negative attention instead of seeking attention from a man who can mentally emotionally and then sexually stimulate them. All the nice guys are to afraid to step up because too many bitches embarrass them with snotty remarks, or turn them down for dudes who won't even buy them a Chinese platter smh, and then the nice girls are so used to weirdos coming at them all the time that they either lower their standards and worth or completely isolate and blow off every guy. It's a truly fucked up epidemic. But a real man will NEVER cat call a woman or use her for sex and a real woman will NEVER let a man do that or take out her past experiences or insecurities on the next man.

Answer 2

Kaazsz

You basically explained what I've always thought in my own head and why it was always so hard for me to talk to girls. I feel like every guy is just all over them saying whatever they can to get in their pants and girls will assume I'm exactly the same as the rest. I am a genuine person but I was never sure how to show it.

Answer 3

that-panda

To be honest it's not just the guys fault. The problem is also that too many girls feed into the douchebags then bitch n moan that they can't find a real man when the real man they are "looking for" they pushed aside for the asshole! Too many girls thrive off negative attention instead of seeking attention from a man who can mentally emotionally and then sexually stimulate them. All the nice guys are to afraid to step up because too many bitches embarrass them with snotty remarks, or turn them down for dudes who won't even buy them a Chinese platter smh, and then the nice girls are so used to weirdos coming at them all the time that they either lower their standards and worth or completely isolate and blow off every guy. It's a truly fucked up epidemic. But a real man will NEVER cat call a woman or use her for sex and a real woman will NEVER let a man do that or take out her past experiences or insecurities on the next man.

Answer 4

Anonymous

A man who was raised in the arms of a good women will not try hitting a girl and abuse her both mentally and physically and if a guy is trying to do that I'm sure girls in this generation are not gonna sit and cry! I don't think there is no point in feeling insecure about this

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Wurdom

+1 y
Nice meme

Answer 5

Wurdom

Nice meme

Answer 6

JustAnotherGirlie

Xper 6

No. It boosts my ego, but not my self esteem. Self esteem can only come from you, it doesn't come from external validation. Some of the most beautiful women you meet have low self esteem - they get compliments all the time. Doesn't mean they value themselves

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Giacomanzo

+1 y
I disagree. When I lost weight 8 years ago, it was my first time in my life being not fat and I felt soooo good. At first. The complete lack of increased female attention (meaning staying zero) hit me as hard as a meteorite on my head, leading me to become fatter than I was.
JustAnotherGirlie

+1 y
@Giacomanzo You're literally proving my point. Your self esteem can only come from YOU, no one else. Plenty of "fat" people lose weight and still feel fat - they aren't as heavy and their self esteem is still low. Why? Because they never dealt with the real issue. Your ego would get a short term boost if women liked you more as a skinnier man. Whether that did or didn't happen wasn't up to you, so your ego suffered
Giacomanzo

+1 y
Mh... I'm pretty sure that if the opposite case happened, I wouldn't have gained weight back, because I would have feel that my efforts would have been prized.

Answer 7

Giacomanzo

I disagree. When I lost weight 8 years ago, it was my first time in my life being not fat and I felt soooo good. At first. The complete lack of increased female attention (meaning staying zero) hit me as hard as a meteorite on my head, leading me to become fatter than I was.

Answer 8

JustAnotherGirlie

@Giacomanzo You're literally proving my point. Your self esteem can only come from YOU, no one else. Plenty of "fat" people lose weight and still feel fat - they aren't as heavy and their self esteem is still low. Why? Because they never dealt with the real issue. Your ego would get a short term boost if women liked you more as a skinnier man. Whether that did or didn't happen wasn't up to you, so your ego suffered

Answer 9

Giacomanzo

Mh... I'm pretty sure that if the opposite case happened, I wouldn't have gained weight back, because I would have feel that my efforts would have been prized.

Answer 10

ManOnFire | 124 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

I don't think it's a matter of self-esteem. A woman will brag about how often she "gets hit on" regardless of how it impacted her self-esteem and whether or not she liked the guy or thought he was hot or not. It will just be more of an egotistical thing for her to talk about.

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1 Person

Answer 11

ryslostthought

Xper 3

I love it when a guy hits on me. It's extremely rare (even rarer for a woman to) but it feels so good. Even if they're not someone I'm attracted to it brighten my day to feel I'm wanted by someone at least.

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Answer 12

btbc92

Influencer

I really don't like it. I am not the one with an ego for that. I don't like that inappropriate attention. One can compliment without getting the intention of being sexual. That is a no-no for me. I don't care who he is, or what he looks like. I'm secure enough to tell a guy what it is. God made me. A man doesn't make me.

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1 Person

Answer 13

pr3ttybr0wn

Influencer

if he is decent looking and doesn't come off desperate, yea

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5 People

Answer 14

itwasmelaniasfault

Xper 5

The thing is, it's not super flattering if a guy you aren't attracted to hits on you. Because it puts you in whatever league he is. Which if he's ugly, you feel you must be as unattactive to if he thought he had a chance with you.

That being said, that is how I felt when I was younger and more immature. Now I realize leagues don't really exist and who the person is on the inside matters more.

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Answer 15

leahbri

Xper 5

Yes, my cousin/friends always get hit on and told compliments & I dont & it really makes me feel like shit. So whenever you have a chance compliment people never regret it because you never know if one day that girl you wanted compliment might have wanted to end her life or feels like she's not worthy. even a smile makes my day

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4 People

Like-Me

+1 y
ending your life because you aren't being complimented?
wtf?
Kaazsz

+1 y
@Like-Me She didn't say she wants to die because she doesn't get compliments. She's saying you could save someones life because that was the day they chose to die, and a random stranger complimented them and turned their emotional and mental state around to a good feeling long enough for them to reconsider.

Answer 16

Like-Me

ending your life because you aren't being complimented?
wtf?

Answer 17

Kaazsz

@Like-Me She didn't say she wants to die because she doesn't get compliments. She's saying you could save someones life because that was the day they chose to die, and a random stranger complimented them and turned their emotional and mental state around to a good feeling long enough for them to reconsider.

Answer 18

aicarg

Yoda

It depends on the approach and setting. If it's done as a compliment where I feel it's genuine, then yeah, it'll make me smile and boost the way I see myself. Like a guy who approaches me and stirs up a conversation by just saying something like, "hey, something tells me like you're one I'd like to get to know" is something that would boost my self esteem. If it's a construction worker who cat calls me as I'm doing a morning run... I just feel uncomfortable.

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1 Person

Answer 19

Laura_Marx

Xper 7

There was this thread on bodybuilding. com where some guy photoshopped a picture of a girl to have like a fucking pigs snout, hair all over her chest, etc., like it wasn't just 'oh an ugly girl' yknow she wasn't a human being, and he signed up to dating websites with that as the picture & waited for guys to approach her, and they did, and they hit on her super hard, and called her beautiful, etc., and wanted to fuck her.

If it ever did, it doesn't now.

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2 People

Answer 20

RJGraveyTrain

Master

It's a quick EGO boost I suppose. I am a firm believer though that real self-esteem comes from you. That's why even sought-after, hot girls have self-esteem issues.

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Answer 21

Astoriana | 282 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

Not particularly. It's more annoying than anything else. I've got shit to do and people to see. Leave me alone so I can get back to my beautiful bed as quickly as possible.

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Answer 22

splashofyellow | 104 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Yoda

It's mostly just a fading ego boost. And sometimes it has a negative effect rather than a positive one. Sometimes I think people are hitting on me because they think I'd be easy for whatever reason.

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Answer 23

mermaid175 | 111 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Xper 7

I guess it depends on when/where it's said and if other people are around. I always appreciate compliments but if you are with the boys and it seems like you are showing off I'll feel self conscious

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Answer 24

Anonymous

Depends on how hot is guy...
From the real discust to be very flattering...
But the reality is.. a bunch of. guys i dont like (not my type), always trying to hit on me... it brings me nothibg but annoying, anger and bad mood and lower my self esteem.
And only a few guys that i like, thats when i am flattering and boost self esteem

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bekkesmash

+1 y
Your standards are too high, you will settle for some poor guy you aren't really attracted to in like 5 years, when you realize your value doesn't match your standards.
Opinion Owner

+1 y
@bekkesmash
yeh, forget to ask u what I will do in 5 years
and u will never get any girl, not in 5 y, nor in 25. cuz u too ugly, go date ur mom, lool
looser
bekkesmash

+1 y
What?
Show All Show Less
NewUser19

+1 y
@bekkesmash Yeah she is unstable and has a delusional view of herself.

Answer 25

bekkesmash

Your standards are too high, you will settle for some poor guy you aren't really attracted to in like 5 years, when you realize your value doesn't match your standards.

Answer 26

Opinion Owner

@bekkesmash
yeh, forget to ask u what I will do in 5 years
and u will never get any girl, not in 5 y, nor in 25. cuz u too ugly, go date ur mom, lool
looser

Answer 27

bekkesmash

What?

Answer 28

NewUser19

@bekkesmash Yeah she is unstable and has a delusional view of herself.

Answer 29

HonestGirlAlways

Xper 7

No I guess. It's normal for guys to hit on me (I'm not saying I'm a super model let's be clear lol) but my self esteem depends more on other factors than male attention unfortunately.

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Answer 30

pinkzoesbb

Yoda

Yeah definitely. Unless it's a guy hitting on as many girls as possible and just waiting for on to reply. That doesn't boost my self esteem. It annoys me.

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Answer 31

_Mysterious_

Xper 5

Nope, for some reason, compliments don't really affect me much.

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Answer 32

MindYourEyes | 121 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

It makes me feel good for the day but not for good xD.

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Answer 33

SarahsSummer | 796 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

I generally take it as a compliment which feels good. and is a boost

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Answer 34

deraz24 | 288 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

A little it depends on how its done to me, although most of us don't pay it any mind

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Answer 35

FatherJack | 291 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Guru

My understanding is that the vast majority of women do NOT want to be bugged by some random man , they would rather men left them well alone.

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Answer 36

witherwing | 305 opinions shared on Flirting topic.

Master

When I was single it did, now it just annoys me. I know they can't tell whether or not I'm single, but for some reason people hitting on me that I have no interest in just seems like a complete waste of time for both me and them.

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1 Person

NewUser19

+1 y
its not because they nor you dont know whether you will stay by your mate or you will stray in search of something newer or better.

Answer 37

NewUser19

its not because they nor you dont know whether you will stay by your mate or you will stray in search of something newer or better.

Answer 38

TheChocolateWriter

Xper 6

Yes, but for me, it rarely happens. I get called names more.

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