Will the sexual tension disappear?

[Anonymous]

Me and a coworker have been experiencing a really strong mutual attraction and sexual tension for the last 6 months and it's not started to just feel really awkward. It isn't too bad when we're with other people but when we're alone, boy oh boy 😫.

I thought things would have diffused by now but it's just getting worse.

What's the best way to try try and help the situation? Will the tension ever just disappear on its own?

[Cincinnati12]

If you stop flirting, refocus conversation, and switch gears maybe... Like, ask questions to get to know him on a deeper level and it likely will relieve the tension. When you have a serious conversation with him, more than likely you'll hear something unattractive and the spell will be broken.

[Asker]

We don't even flirt! But yes, it is a good idea to get to know him on a deeper level as then I will definitely hear something I won't like

[Cincinnati12]

Sometimes flirting is the tension from silence. Men really don't need any flirting to have the thoughts they have. I had a guy just come out of nowhere and try to kiss me, and I was so confused because to me there was no lead up at all. I didn't feel the tension I guess. I had a boyfriend lol

[Asker]

That's so funny!! I can just imagine that feeling so weird 🤣

[Asker]

I think you reply went on the wrong thread. But I replied

[Cincinnati12]

Yeah, it wasn't exactly your same scenario. I wasn't really into him but I knew he liked me and my boyfriend kept breaking up with me. I guess he was easier to deal with. Consistent. But it ended with him quitting. I didn't want another relationship because clearly the one before was turbulent. Our other coworker was crying because it was so tense when we worked together. I remember that I feel like crossing a line

[Cincinnati12]

Whenever*

[Asker]

Aw bless him, he must have had it bad for you

[kaylaS91]

no, the tension most likely won't just disappear.
Hell, I've had an insane amount of sexual tension with my boyfriend of over three years and, despite us acting on it and having plenty of sex, it remains just as present as ever.

[Asker]

Oh dear... I just can't stand it!

[Asker]

He's so gorgeous too which doesn't help

[tattooedhandfet]

Probably not.
And how come you can't do anything about the tension? Are you both with other people, or what's the story?

[Asker]

Yea we're both with other people. I've never felt anything like this before in my life and it just seems to keep getting stronger and stronger. Neither of us are encouraging it, in fact, we've discouraged it.

[tattooedhandfet]

For how long has this tension been going on?

[Asker]

7 months now...

[tattooedhandfet]

Not too long. You love him, or just look at him as a root?

[Asker]

I wouldn't say love but I definitely feel something for him, although I'm tying not to

[tattooedhandfet]

And does he have feelings towards you?

[Asker]

Yes he does

[tattooedhandfet]

Feels or primal?

[Asker]

Bit if both 🙁

[tattooedhandfet]

And for you?

[Asker]

Same 😢

[tattooedhandfet]

He worth you losing your husband over? Or do you just want to fuck him? Same questions for him (wife instead of hub), assuming you've both been mature enough to have some sort of discussion on this topic.

[Asker]

To be honest, I don't know and I don't know if I want to find out. It's been a really confusing few months as my feelings keep growing for him but I wish they would disappear completely. There's something substantial there, something I haven't felt before. I had been waiting for things to die down. His wife thought he was having an affair with me already even though nothing has happened!!! Apparently he was on the phone talking to his friend (about me) and she heard everything. That's how I ended up finding out he had feelings for me too

[tattooedhandfet]

I feel you 2 (also you and your partner, him and his) need to have a discussion.
Also, you're saying this is something you've never felt before. What makes you feel that?

[tattooedhandfet]

What's so different than what you have felt for others before him?

[Asker]

It just completely floored me. I've had crushes etc but this has completely consumed me for months. Even if I'm joining a conference call and he's on the line, I can feel the tension. It's crazy

[Asker]

There's no way I'm telling my husband about this. I travel for work quite a bit and the last thing I need is him being paranoid

[tattooedhandfet]

So you're hiding things from him? Do you feel that is right? Because, I don't.

[Asker]

I haven't done anything wrong to tell him about it. There's no need for him to know the ins and outs of my feelings, it's hardly going to make him feel too good about himself if his wife has feelings for someone else.

[tattooedhandfet]

All well, that's the reality of it. Sack up.

[Geldour]

Gonna have to bang him

[rocksongwriter]

... while bent over the photocopier.

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂 god id love to. Over the photocopier, in the toilets, in the mail room, on my desk, - sadly we're both married which is the only reason I think we're not at it

[Asker]

In all seriousness though, will it go away do you think?

[rocksongwriter]

Has he indicated that he feels the same way?

[Asker]

Yes he has

[rocksongwriter]

Foursome with spouses included!

Only kidding.

[Asker]

She's not my type!! Otherwise I'd give anything a go 😂

[rocksongwriter]

Well, you wouldn't have to do anything with her.

[Asker]

I don't think she's the type that would even entertain the idea. It's awful but if I was having him, I'd want him all to myself ☺️

[GTIpenguin]

Once you release it yes.

[Asker]

We can't!! We're both with other people

[GTIpenguin]

Well I met like do things to yourself to get rid of it

[Asker]

Tried that, doesn't work

[Cincinnati12]

It's pretty innapropriate on most levels. You're happily in a relationship, he is too, and you work together. I learned from experience. I had a thing with a coworker when i was much younger and it ended terribly. So, i hope you don't have to learn the hard way like me but when things go sour it can be one of the worst and most uncomfocurren tension. Worse than the sexual kind you're experiencing currently.

[Cincinnati12]

Uncomfortable tensions*

[Asker]

@cincinnati12 thank you. We're not encouraging this, definitely not encouraging it. There's been times I've wondered if he is trying to ignite something but then I think maybe I've imagined it. We have a good working relationship but the sexual undercurrent runs through everything. It's just awful

[Cincinnati12]

If it really is genuine chemistry you could quit that job and find another. Then if the tension is still there when you are not in a work environment there's no reason why you can't see eachother. Oh, well i guess your boyfriend and gf!!! Lol oops

[Asker]

We don't actually work in the same office so barely see each other as it is. We live in different cities. And there's no way I'm quitting my job over something like this. I have a great role and I'm well paid so there is no chance I'm giving that up. If we were in the same office next to each other every day, maybe I'd have had to take such drastic action. That's the thing, when we something go 4 weeks without seeing each other... how can this not be fading? I don't get it

[Asker]

We're not even connected on social media any more so we don't get to see each other's life outside of work. Trying to remove all temptation