I've got a female friend who doesn't like intimacy and also doesn't like being touched. She's also big into alone time, takes ages to respond to friends and is pretty much a dismissive avoidant type of girl who is very cold with people.
Recently however she's began laughing at all my jokes, texts me daily on multiple platforms, plays video games with me, we could be on the phone chatting for a few hours, we hang out almost daily, replies to my texts straight away and has began touching me quite a lot.
We agreed to be friends because she didn't have feelings for me anymore when I said I was interested and she couldn't force herself to feel something again.
She has now started coming over to my house at night to watch movies and she's really giggly and playful and has zero issue with me touching her. I catch her playing with her hair and we *accidentally* touch hands all the time now, she for no reason just touches me now whether it be just a play fight or something.
When she watches movies she sits at the corner of the bed, then recently she began to lay on the edge and the last time she got into bed with me. We began slowly moving towards eachother and I felt like I eas to make a move a few times but didn't and then she got tired and cranky.
I offered for her to stay over tonight at mine in my bed and watch a match at 5am. She hates sport but now wants to watch it with me, however she thought about it and said 5am was too early and she's be cranky. I made a remark about id have shown her no affection in bed or given her any blanket and she said she "didn't want that anyway lol" nd then sent a meme saying "nervous laughter".
I suppose I'm just a bit confused, I feel like we're beginning to get closer and closer until we eventually hook up, but if it's ever verbally implied she shuts it down. She clearly seems to know what I'm implying yet still comes back to get into bed and watches a movie. I suppose her not openly saying yes makes me unsure
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I think the fact that you both defined your relationship as just friends made her more comfortable with you touching her and her touching you, as now she doesn't have to worry about it progressing to anything she doesn't feel comfortable with. So now she feels free to laugh at all your jokes and spend lots of time with you, because she assumes you're both just friends. Dismissive avoidants, as well as fearful avoidants, are avoidant because they do not know how to properly assert their needs and set boundaries. The two of you have set boundaries, so that helped her feel safe being open and giggly with you. She probably can live without having sex, as, after all, she's a girl. Girls love their male friends, and they are always willing to have more male friends if the opportunity arose. The problem is that most men only will be friends with a woman if they hope the woman will sleep with them. Therefore, if a guy knows there is no chance of sleeping with a woman, he will likely not bother being friends with her. So that's why women are so happy, giggly, and comfortable around a guy that appears to be fine with just being friends, as it's such a rarity. But, clearly you want to have sex with this girl, so she probably shouldn't be celebrating as much. But, she'll probably still be friends with you even if she finds out that you want sex out of her. Women don't mind male platonic attention, and you'd still be in the friend zone regardlessly.
Ye I suppose. I've got lots of female friends and I don't get confused with them, I suppose my confusion comes from we dated about a year ago and then when things started getting serious she pushed away. Then we spent time apart and agreed to be friends but it was cold, and then eventually we went out with friends and she came back to mine. I made a spare bed but she got in with me and made a move on me. Then the next time we went out she began apologising to me that she didn't feel ready for a relationship and that she played too hard to get with me and forced herself to lose feelings.
We were friends for about 5 months and it was the same as every other friend, doesn't want to be touched, doesn't like touching and takes hours-days to reply.
I suppose we've been friends for months now and her sudden complete change of interaction has thrown me off.
Our legs rest together when we go for lunch, we touch a lot and the other day she said something and I joked about us sleeping together and she giggled.
I suppose I've implied I'm still interested and the more she comes over the closer she begins to move in the bed with me which threw me off
Honestly man... no guy could figure that one out.
It sounds like she's got some issues that she's working through so who the fuck knows outside of her therapist. You're better off not wasting energy on her and finding a more congruent girl who is reciprocal.
I get the attraction towards broken things, but it's not healthy in the long run... that's a hard lesson that hopefully you don't need to learn but I'm guessing you do.
No, I don't think so.