He treats me like we're seeing each other but then says we're just good friends

I'm so confused. I really like this guy who was a casual friend before I realized I had feelings for him. He treats me like we're seeing each other, flirts with me and does things he doesn't do with his other close friends who are girls. In fact they're closer friends with him than I am and he's never as affectionate with them as he is with me. We've been flirting for about a year and recently it's become more intense. He comes up and hugs me from behind, pulls me into his arms and onto his lap, bites me playfully and so on.

He knows I wouldn't sleep with him just for the sake of having sex so I can safely say that this doesn't have anything to do with sex.

I've been out with him alone once.although it wasn't very clear if it was a date or not.

But when I got a mutual friend to ask him how he feels about me (I know that in the past he's been comfortable talking to this friend about his love life) and he said that he thinks we're just really good friends.

I'm so confused and hurt cos I thought we were actually getting somewhere.

Would appreciate any opinions on whether or not this guy is worth pursuing. And guys.do you think he's telling the truth when he says we're only good friends? I'm finding it really hard to accept it.

Also I forgot to mention that after he told my friend that he thinks we're just really good friends, he asked her if I'd said anything and she said that no I don't mention much about my love life and that she was probably just reading too much into it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • First let me say that guys don't tend to talk about their relationships a lot at least to other guys. But to me I think he likes you he's just a little lost. He probably wants you in his life period and doesn't know if he wants to risk the friendship if it doesn't work out. He just doesn't know what to do. It happened to me, I liked a girl who was a friend of mine for a long time and did the same thing he did, finally admitted it but she didn't feel the same and then we haven't talked in 4 years. Granted she moved for school but we didn't keep in contact. I don't know I guess the best thing to do is get to a position where its obvious to him, you want him to kiss you. If he backs away then he probably does think of you as a friend, or is being a jerk and playing games with you.

    • The mutual friend that he spoke to is a girl unfortunately. Does that change stuff?

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What Guys Said 1

  • First off, I am a guy. I am in the same situation, but opposite. I am hanging out with this girl, who I suspect, thinks I might want to date her. I will try to answer your question as if I was talking to the girl I know. So to answer your question, I would say he has definitely had thoughts about this possibly. Perhaps he is just keeping his options open. Maybe he thinks he might do better, but hangs out with you to keep A)other guys away and/or B) to keep you close just in case. In either case, he has totally considered dating you, he is lying if he says he hasn't. I would try to step up the flirting on your end if you like him, and return his advances, perhaps ask him to hang out with you alone more if you want him.


What Girls Said 1

  • i don't think this guy is worth pursuing! he's probably more of a friend with benefits. if he tells you guys' mutual friend whom he has been comfortable talking about his love life to that you guys are just really good friends, then he probably means it. if he doesn't, then he probably feels the way you feel, but just doesn't want to say anything cus he doesn't want to ruin you guys' friendship.

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