Lack of female attention? effects?

[Anonymous]

OK so first of all, I'm not ugly, overweight or anything, I've been told I'm cute,handsome etc, but I have a lot of issues with girls.

I never got attention from girls growing up and even now I don't. I see all these other guys I knew on face book, they have all these pics with girls and girls comment on their pictures calling them sexy, hot stuff, etc etc

Do you think a lack of attention from the opposite sex gets a guy sexually retarded ? Like I see all these guys flirting and chatting up girls on face book and I got nothing :/

Do I have a chance ?

[Brando]

You and I are both in the same boat, because not only is this something I've wondered myself, but you pretty much described me. For as long as I can remember, I haven't been the outgoing kind of person. I used to be shy when I was a little kid, but I could still make friends. In my teen years, I suffered from really bad depression and anxiety so that's not really a good example for me to judge myself.

What do I think happens when a guy lacks any attention from females? Probably depends on the guy as to how it will affect him. Some will not know what they are misisng, or if they are even "missing" anything at all. They are just ignorant to the topic. Some will be confused as to what they are doing wrong. Girls are supposed to be people just like us guys, right? So why aren't they talking to me? That is what some guys will ask themselves. And for others, they might become bitter or dis-trustful towards girls because they've never had any relationships with them, friendly or otherwise.

I know I will wonder what I ever did wrong to become so alienated from all that stuff. I'm sure it has to do with me being a more reserved person. But I also have moments when I become bitter or jaded, and sometimes downright angry towards females. I know that it isn't really girls' fault, but sometimes the frustration just gets to be too much and I can't help what I feel after that.

I also notice that I'm not sure where I stand with girls. I'm sure at some point, this affects my self-esteem in some way because I don't know what I have to offer to anyone but myself and my own success or failure in things.

Also, I've sort of become like an asexual over the last few years. I've started becoming used to the fact that I'm never in a relationship or anything like that, so the thought of having a partner just seems weird to me. I didn't make myself feel like this, it just happened.

When I see or hear about guys trying to get girls, this also seems weird to me. It seems like there is a certain game to play, and that just strikes me as odd. I guess it's because I never see it happen, but the whole courting process is weird. I'm not used to seeing or feeling it, so like if a girl flirts with me, I will almost purposefully withdraw because I don't know what to do.

So yeah, it can do a lot of things to a guy. I just went on a rant about what it does to me in particular lol. Hopefully you can pick something useful out of all that. Good question btw.

[BlackSuperman]

Ima tell ya this... since your fairly young.. you're gonna havta make a choice... either continue on with this tired diatribe about why gorls don't like you... or to start living your life, having fun... girls do like that sorta thing... And when you get older, you will meet several ladies who will actually let you touch them... LOL.. just relax, Mr. Anonymous...

[mnb108]

You definitely do.

I think that sometimes girls are influenced, by other girls, into liking a certain guy. If there are even a few girls that think you're unavailable, etc. . then chances are, if they're friends and know you, they all do.

I'm not overweight or ugly, guys don't approach me.

I know what you mean about the sexually retarded thing. . .

but I prefer to stay away for now. . .after having a kid a couple years ago (unmarried), I'm not chancing it again. lol

[Asker]

Yea but I see these guys get all this attention and I can't help but feel a bit jealous (even tho I don't wanna feel jealous ) :/

[mnb108]

I know it's frustrating, but don't give up. In the past two years, (since I became single), I have been asked out a total of 5 times but it was by a couple of creepy guys. lol. Two years without a date is frustrating, but no guys approach me. . .Just give it time. . .maybe girls are slightly intimidated by you.

My best guy friend tells me all the time that when I "speak smart", I scare the sh*t outta him. haha

[Asker]

Okey dokey :) thanks!

I'll play the waiting game I guess ha ha /sigh

[mnb108]

I know it's uber frustrating, but a lot of times, girls really like when guys ask them out first, when guys make the first move and when guys are really confident.

Try faking your confidence a couple days around girls you like. . .You'll come to find that you ARE really confident and that you were just inhibited by anxiety.

Waiting sucks. . .so go for it & see what happens.

[Anonymous]

Is that really the kind of guy you want to be? A jerk who just screws with girls? Do you want to be a quality guy or a dirt bag? And by the way, whichever one you choose to be is going to be the kind of female you'll attract. Quality = quality; dirt bag = dirt bag.

[Asker]

Well except that I don't get quality girls OR dirtbag girls...

:/

[Brando]

The quality guy can still get attention from girls. I think it's a little bit of a generalization to assume that if a guy has girl friends, then he's automatically a douchebag.

[mike5150]

Im right their with you man. The thing that gets me is I see guys who really don't have much more in the looks department getting all kinds of girls. Including a friend who has two girl friends at the same time. I just don't understand it.

[Littletad]

Gonna have to start making a little effort. Talk to some girls. Say hello and introduce yourself more. If you sit and analyze or complain from afar, nothing will ever change.

[drummerdude25]

Same boat... :/