She kissed another guy as a dare, but said her conscience was eating her? Should I be mad?

[herkindaguy]

So my girlfriend has been great, we've been dating for a while, and I felt deeply in love (cheesy, yes) and damn, she's all I think about. She went out to party that I declined cause I didn't feel good that night, so I stayed home. The next day she came over and we talked and just shot the sh*t while we watched TV. Finally she's like, "I kissed another guy as a dare last night, but It meant nothing, honest, he was gross, but everyone else followed through on their dares and I had to to" at first I didn't really care. She told me who she kissed, and the guy has a girlfriend, and yeah, so I wasn't mad. But then I started to really think about it, while I was at home, she had her lips on some other ass hole. My girlfriend, the girl I want to marry, had her lips on some other f***ing jerk. If it was me in her position, I would have said no, even if the chick was Megan Fox. But I don't want to hurt her, I know if I start to confront her, she'll cry, and I hate when she cries. Hell, I punched a guy cause he made her cry, which got two weeks of detention, and it was worth it. IF I make her cry myself, I don't know what I'll do...Fuck! It's like I'm in love with this f***ing girl, and she makes me think so much, and I doubt she freaks like this. I'm stuck, it's as if she's keeping me under some sh*t, but if I wanted to, I know she'd understanding if I dumped her, but then she'd cry...And I don't want to dump her. I just want to fix this. B ut, is there anything to fix? It;s not even all bout the party or the kiss, it's about how confused I am. It's like, I've never felt this way, yet she makes me want to yell sometimes, but I f I ever did shge'd cry, and I'd...I'd I don't even know. See where I am?

[CuddlyCarla]

This is all a matter of perspective, but I'm going to give you some insight I hope you'll find valuable. Forget all the anger and let's focus on the facts. She told you, without any prompting, that this happened. She also explained the situation and the details, right down to who it was with. This is not the behavior of a cheater or someone who engages in that type of thing. Deception is obviously not her thing and she wanted to tell you about it because she knows it wasn't in her character, which is also why she feels bad about it. That she told you who it was suggests total honesty and trust. It's clear from this behavior that she knows she made a mistake and feels guilty about it. A bad person or cheater wouldn't feel bad about this. She clearly cares about you and feels she let herself down as this isn't part of her normal character. The truth is, nobody is perfect. Everybody makes dumb mistakes. Humans are social creatures and as such, can cave into weakness under peer pressure because they want acceptance. Unfortunately, she made a mistake, but I'm sure you've made plenty in your life that people have been generous enough to forgive you for. Relationships of any sort are strengthened by forgiveness, and it takes a strong person (and someone that really loves you) to do that. The fact that she told you is huge, as is the fact that she identified the person so you would know who it was and not have any reason to be suspicious. People do dumb things at parties, it's a fact. I know you are feeling hurt right now and I understand it, but from her disclosures, I'd definitely say she has acknowledged that and come clean to you which suggests high moral character. Anyone sitting here passing judgment and saying she was cheating on you is really not seeing this situation in a rational manner. The man has a girlfriend, she has a boyfriend, they were not alone, they were in a room full of people watching, and she was under social pressure. Was it a mistake? Yes. Was it something worthy of you being this mad about or falling out of love for? Absolutely not. The healthiest thing you can do here is to let her know it made you upset and that you won't stand for it happening again, and to let go of your anger and move on. Don't let something this small ruin your relationship, he didn't mean anything to her which she also told you, and I believe that to be the truth.

[imclumsy04]

Yep! You should be mad! A girl in love with her boyfriend would NOT kiss someone else. But then again, the fact that she told you everything means that she's not the type who'd lie or hide anything from you. So that's a plus point for her. The fact that she did it, several negative points. The forgiving part will come to you since you love her so much...it's just the forgetting part that will be hard to do. Make sure you confront her though, I know you don't want to make her cry, but for your peace of mind on where she stands, make sure you ask her why she did it. Tell her that she shouldn't have made such a mistake if she loved you. She ought to feel guilty and she deserves it, but we all make mistakes and like I said the forgiving part is not so bad. It's just the forgetting part that you have to deal with and you should let her know that. Let her know that even if you forgive her, the wound will still be fresh for a long time since this is something that is considered cheating and it will be hard to forget. See how she takes it from there.

[herkindaguy]

Thanks, finally, someone who didn't tell me my girlfriend is a loser or whatever, thanks.

[iceprincess777]

yeah...maybe she shouldn't kiss guys as a dare? sounds stupid that she knows she's going out with you and she went with it anyways...if she's done weird things and things to make you angry so many times, then maybe it's time to say good bye.

but if this is the only time she's f*cked up, then you guys can find a way to work it out. I had a friend whose boyfriend kissed another girl at a party etc. so he got in sh*t for that but it worked out in the end. depends on the situation. if she's done a lot of sh*t before, it might be a time to just dump her if you don't like her.

[tex151]

Don't worry your in a stupid high school drama bs relationship, and a lot of times kids cheat on each other, and it's no big deal, because let's face the facts here, the chances that your actually going to be with girl for a long time is very slim, trust me, I had countless gfs in high school, and not one of them lasted.

What you could do is kiss another chick and say hey it was a dare, no big deal right, I mean someone dared me to kiss her, so it is OK, I didn't even like her it was just a stupid dare.

[sinful1620]

I've been at many, many parties where a girl who really cared about her boyfriend explicitly used "nope, I have a boyfriend" to not even dance with another guy. If she really gave a f*** about you, she could have easily said no.

So... yeah, you definitely have the right to be pissed off.

[DanielSan]

agreed

[JCUcupcake]

There is always the option to say no, which she would have done if she really cared about you. She took advantage of the situation since you were not there, and went behind your back. And it seems like the only reason she told you was because of her guilty conscious, not the fact that she was sorry. I think you have a right to be mad.

[xboobearx]

i agree^

[herkindaguy]

She did say she was sorry

[JCUcupcake]

Of course she would say that, but it doesn't necessarily mean that she means it.

[herkindaguy]

I can tell when she's lying though.

[JCUcupcake]

You are really the only person that knows her well enough. So I guess you should just trust your instincts and give her a second chance.

[herkindaguy]

Thanks, things have been better.

[sara4649477]

i know this is a late answer but I wish I could have helped you a year ago. yes its wrong because she kissed another guy and even if everyone else is doing it, its still wrong. I just got home from a party and they dared me to kiss some one but I said no a million times because of my boyfriend, and they thought I was no fun but oh well its not like they hated me, they were only bummed for a minute at me. I still do feel kinda bad though because I wanted to kiss some one too but oh well. if she's not faithful then you shouldn't be with her. because if some one dares her the next time to do something worse then you're out of luck and that tells you that she follows what the world wants her to do and not what her heart tells her to do and what's right. you don't want some one who follows the world. the world is selfish and full of sin, and lies, and nothing that you want.

[Anonymous]

I fully understand. I think you need to tell her how you felt about all of this. Lay down the rules. Tell her its not OK to kiss someone while you're drunk or for a dare. Tell her how much it hurt you and if she really loves you she will never do it again. I've been in the same situation except my boyfriend was just drunk.

[herkindaguy]

Sorry to hear the last part, thanks.

[Brando]

The last time a "dare" or "double dare" really meant anything was probably in the first grade. To me, that's a really stupid excuse to kiss another guy. I'd be just as mad as you are now, because like I said that just sounds stupid.

[xboobearx]

i would be pissed if my boyfriend kissed another girl for a dare a kiss is a kiss. its still considered cheating. I would dump her ass.

[herkindaguy]

that's the thing, I can't.

[xboobearx]

why not? she cheated. you may think that's its not but it is.

[herkindaguy]

I don't know you, so I can't exactly pass judgment. But I'm guessing you've never been in love, cause it isn't easy to just let go of someone because they made one mistake.

[xboobearx]

im in love with my boyfriend right now I wouldn't be able to dump him either but imtellign yu from a logical point what I think should be done , yu are right yu shouldn't assume I have nto been or am in love because I surely am.

[herkindaguy]

I can't really understand your typing, but I think I get what your saying. And it isn't cheating, cheating is when you're seeing someone else while you have a bf/gf, so, if kissing someone once (for a dare) then I'm a cheater. Cool, your in love, and your saying you wouldn't dump his ass like you're saying I should...? do you understand how hypocritcal that sounds?

[xboobearx]

ye ai understand but I'm being honest and I guess yur a cheater then, its nto okay to kiss someoen who isn't the one yu are committed too. and obviously its not love if yu can kiss someone else. if I'm playing dare then I just say no. no big deal. its nto hard. escpecially for someone who is in love.

[herkindaguy]

Obviously you have no idea what you're saying, you're changing your opinon each time.

[urstruely]

geez if your so much in love with her, it doesn't matter...it was a dare, nothing more. Learn to forgive, otherwise that marriage won't get very far.

[herkindaguy]

Marrige? I can do without...

[urstruely]

ur choice, but if you react like that in any serious relationship, have fun being alone.

[TheCheshireCat]

It's only natural to be mad, it is cheating. But she obviously regrets it, so if she is worth it, forgive & forget...

[Anonymous]

yes there is no excuse for kissing another guy...she messed up big time.

if someone dares her to have sex with another guy, will it be okay then too?! please. she's a loser dump her now.

[herkindaguy]

Except, she isn't a loser. She's everything I want.

[DianaDDreamer]

Yes! Because its a dare you do it! Wrong! I would be pissed off! You should end it with her!

[THE_Godfather]

I see you talking lovie dovie with other guys & it's not on a dare.

Should we end it?

[DianaDDreamer]

What? NO! WHere do you see this?

[THE_Godfather]

on your wall & ALL OVER GaG

[DianaDDreamer]

Really? I don't see!

[THE_Godfather]

I will make you aware of it & soon

[DianaDDreamer]

Lol ok!

[ConfusedTeen]

I really don't think you should be that mad. I get being a little angry, but at least she respected you enough to tell you about it. I think you're over thinking it, it's not a big deal

[Anonymous]

just dump the bitch