She rejected me but seemed confused about it? (she is shy)

[Anonymous]

She flirted I missed my chance to make a move being too scared, I felt like I hit the friend zone but she still flirted with me. She showed nearly every sign of interest there is, she was often the one who progressed things. She introduced herself to me she started the touching me, and her guy friend are the only guys she will touch and she rarely touches him but will leave her arm resting against mine for an hour and she started the sex jokes. She asks me to spend time with her often. She always has a big smile on her face when she sees me or will stick her tongue out, even when she is sad she will smile at me. Some guys even asked me if we were going out.

I decided to just go for it and ask her out. She told me she had just gotten out of a relationship (I think it was her first serious one), we would go out as friends for now but also stuck in a brother comment. She seemed surprised/ happy/ confused that I asked.

if it matters she also seems to be shy, I notice her frequently glancing at me and she does it enough her guy friend noticed. He also gets vary protective of her when I am around won't let me sit or walk next to her, he will force his way between us. She has a lot of friends but only really spends time with 3 or 4. She also will stare at me if I am with another girl, she watches us. When I am with her she doesn't seem to like girls coming to talk/ flirt with me she just puts her head down. I have to initiate online chats, she does not say much to me but that is my own fault for trying to remain mysterious.

Updates

+1 y

I want to know if she actually likes me or if it is salvagable

Updates

+1 y

can some one give me some input please

[Anonymous]

No, if she is shy it's not necessary a rejection.

But no, the girl you mentioned here is not shy. A shy girl would not touch guys, tell sex jokes etc. that easily.

If you really wanna give both of you a go, give her time to get over her previous relationship, and to settle herself. And why is her guy friend very protective of her? Was he her ex.? I'm not so sure whether she more intimate to you because you fill a void in her, by which is not a right reason and may falsely lead you on. You probably need to wait and see, but if the situation is slowly getting out of her, have a conversation with her, by which if she still seems very fickle-minded, you have a choice to pull out of it or to be very patient (though I think there are many other girls out there that can possibly be your future girlfriend). Hope this helps.

[Asker]

This guy is not her ex-boyfriend, I know for sure. he has his own girlefriend, I get the feeling he likes her, he only does this to me but won't do anything to other guys. I don't think I am just going to forget about her and move on any time soon, I could have done it already if I wanted too. I feel like I was a bit unfair to her asking right before I had to leave for an exam, so she dint have much time to answer. I think she is already planning to have a conversation with me when we get back.

[Opinion Owner]

It seems you have your mind set. Don't think and mind so much about other guys (e.g. the protective guy) response to this, unless you've done something wrong that you need to be aware of.

[Asker]

just to clarify she dint introduce herself to me and start touching me it took about a week or two. the sex jokes took even longer like a month or more. even now or eye contact on her part is just glancing like she is checking me out. that is part of why I think she is shy

[Opinion Owner]

As I've answered, no shy is not a rejection.

In fact I don't even think shy is the main concern in this situation.

I have a gut feeling she still have some stuff to sort out from her previous relationship,

and maybe not really know what she really wants.

[Asker]

If that is the case would talking to her about all this help or harm things? or should I just be there if she wants to talk. She does seem to still have some attraction/ attachment to him they still talk.

[Opinion Owner]

You can talk to her about it. You might get a better idea from how she's responding to this. But don't read too much in it and keep it cool.

[Asker]

thanks for the help. she at the vary least seems as confused as I am so I guess I will talk to her only way I will get answers. the second comment I made was written before yours came up.

[Opinion Owner]

Ah it's OK. You seem like a cool guy and being cool about this. It's OK to feel scared, and no I don't think you've missed your chance. So just take things in stride, observe but don't over analyse. Good luck! x

[Asker]

Thanks again. She just seems to drive something in me. This is kind of sad but I have had girls ask me out but, I never asked a girl out in person before her. I had tried before, never did it because I was just too scared and some how over came that in her case. She has forced me to grow as a person and at the vary least it is a posative outcome from this mess.

[Opinion Owner]

Glad that you see the positive in this, just take caution not to repeat yourself too much about it :)

[Anonymous]

Yes. If she wants to just hang out as friends at first that doesn't mean she is not interested it just means she is wanting to take things slow. Get to know know you a little better. Just try to spend as much alone time with her as you can. From what you described about how she acts with you I bet she will come around after awhile:)

[Anonymous]

It seems like she is interested. Go out as friends with her a few times and make sure it is just the two of you. See how things go from there. It sounds like she is being cautious for whatever reason but she is interested.

[Asker]

Thank you, your answer brings me some relief. I felt she was interested by how she acted and dint understand the rejection. You think I should tell her more about myself then?