My ex agreed to meet me...then backed off

[confused_gal]

my ex and I broke up around 2 weeks back... there was no contact for that period of time. yesterday I called him and suggested we cud meet up and talk. he agreed to it and himself suggested that we cd meet on Sunday. however when I called him on Sunday...he said he couldn't come...

i am tired of taking all initiatives ALL THE TIME!every time we break up its me who initiates contact and try to mend things. I don't know what to do now. I don't want to break up but at the same time I would like him to take the initiative this time. please advise!

Updates

+1 y

oh well... doesn't matter. I called him today and he was pretty adamant about the breakup.i didn't push either. wht a waste...been with him for 5 yrs! how can people turn so cold...

[unknown88]

Ok I must stress this point that I had failed to realize in the past when looking for answers on forums like this...

NOONE KNOWS HIM OR YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE YOU DO! Don't take what everyone says as the answer to how things will be, they are mearly opinions.

I will say this tho, I too just come out of a turbulant relationship a few days ago and because it was turbulant and you guys have got back together again and again like I have with my ex, it doesn't mean the end! Here's the thing... I was the same as you, always the one to initiate contact and reunite, speaking to a girl friend of mine she pointed out some very good points... and here they are:

1. If you always initiate contact, then he knows this and doesn't need to as you are going to do it...

2. Its take different people different amounts of time to realize what they have lost and if your relationship was that special then in time he will realize this to... everyone is human and although we all put up shields and try to hide what's going on up top and in our hearts we all have feelings and times we reflect on things...

3. If you keep breaking up like me and my ex then its not nessessarly because of how you feel but because you possibly took each other for granted and he hasn't had enough time you miss you.. 2 weeks isn't very long when you think about it. A friend of mine broke up and thought it was the end yet 6 months later they started talking and got back together... You cannot predict the future and if its ment to be it will.

Bare all the above in mind and as you say, you keep getting back together so there is obv something there and he obv cares otherwise he would have walked away the 1st time and not come back..

Unlike everyone else I'm not going to say move on and get over it, you can't move on unless you want to and if you still love him then you won't be able to.

Its about moving on with life and if he comes back in a few weeks/months then he comes back, you can wait for a while there is no harm in that just take my word for it...

You initated contact before and he said he can't make it, you tryed and the ball is now in his court to rearrange, when he hasn't heard from you in a while he will start thinking 'why hasn't she tryed to meet up' 'why hasn't she called' and so on and its then that he may realize what he has lost and come running... absense makes the heart grow fonder and remember when you were a kid, if you wanted something and couldn't have it, it makes you want it all that bit more.

Good luck and keep us posted hun.

[rdr005]

When you say every time we break up, I'm assuming you mean that you two have broken up multiple times and not that every time you break up with a different person (correct me if I'm wrong).

With that said, I think its time to move on and have this as a complete and final break-up. I'd be weary to believe that he's having a hard time making up his mind about you, rather than desiring a rebound for when things don't go his way, or a girl turns him down after you break up. A guy that can't keep his word, is a guy that isn't reliable and can't take care of you (speaking opinion). You've got to take care of yourself and be strong in a situation like that. Enjoy the single life, go to a club or a girl's night out (or whatever it is you single ladies do, lol). Catch up with friends, and eventually (when the time is right), meet a new guy. DO NOT let him keep you from dating someone else, because, as with many instances, it will merely be a means of him wanting to keep you from moving on, or not being available as his rebound. Don't treat yourself like a rental care, and lose the loser.

[Maximust]

if he hasn't taken the initiative by now he's not going to, he probably figures it's over "for real" that generally happens when you break-up. sounds like he may not want to mend things either based on his actions I'd let him go for awhile...give him time, of course don't hold out for him either have fun, date other ppl, whatever, enjoy your life, he may come around he may not. probably not the answer you want but, you can't force him to like you again.