I'd say it's completely true. And not because I'm a cynic, but because we as humans have subconscious shallow natures. We can be good and genuine people, but in all of us there is still a basic preference for beauty.
In my experience, since you asked, I've been able to come on quite strong towards some girls and had no problems, they even seem to like it/want it. But then I've been told by female friends how less than average guys have made advancements that I could see myself doing, and that they thought he was really creepy and got uncomfortable etc.
Not trying to toot my own horn here, just substantiating my claim with my experiences.
Very few people are actually ugly. Most people are just average, neither pretty, neither ugly.
I do not get insulted if i get approached by unattractive, average girls.
And i've seen many average "boring" looking guys talk to pretty girls.
I completely agree with that. I normally don't like calling anyone ugly for the features they didn't choose to have. I would rather tell they are "unlucky". I just wanted to make it more sharp
Personally, I don't really agree with that. I'll admit that I do care about looks to a certain extent, but if someone who I don't find to be attractive flirts with me, I'm not going to accuse them of harassment or get offended or anything like that, if he is just friendly flirting, that'd be a big overreaction. I'm sure this statement is true for some people out there, but I can't say it is for me.
Always a lovely way of thinking comes from you 🤗
Not necessarily. I have a guy I work with who always outrageously flirts with me whom I'm not attracted to and he's a little bit overweight. I just laugh it off but I wouldn't call it harassment, I get lots of people I'm not attracted to try and flirt with me especially old men and I don't get offended and I don't see is harassment, I just see it as harmless and find it funny.
That's great you are sincere:)
Opinion
41Opinion
If someone thinks like that, then I must say they have double standards.
I think it's the perception in some cases, perhaps also due to how someone flirts.
Personally i don’t think it’s true, at least for myself. Thing is, some people are really good at flirting and others suck. Sometimes I do get uncomfortable but it’s not necessarily coz I’m not attracted to them physically, it’s because the way they ‘flirt’ is just inappropriate... I came across guys that were not necessarily that attractive (for me) but they were great at flirting, so, I didn't find it creepy. it comes down to how you do it, not how you look like in my opinion. People can be charming without being ‘a 10’
@cavmanier nope, not really. I met guys that are very good looking but zero charm, so I’m wasn’t attracted to them. The way you carry yourself is what’s attractive. Trust me, I came across dudes that are not really my type but I still saw something sexy in them because of the way they behave, that’s where confidence plays a huge role.
@cavmanier I don't know how to explain it lol it’s just being playful I guess. Playing around with your eyes a lot, smile, joke around. Knowing how to hold conversations is also key for me, I can’t stand small talk.
I remember this really charming dude that approached to me at the gym once, he started the conversation by asking me what I was listening to (I had my headphones on), but the way he smiled and looked at me was nice, he just had a very playful look lol he knew how to start a conversation and that made him so much more attractive. he was the kind of guy that I would have not turn to see, he wasn’t my type at all.
I was curious if I'd fit into being charming. I thinks it's mainly a combination of the person enjoying talking to the person and feeling flattered. By playing around with eyes, I think you meant teasing possibly.
It sounds like he mainly felt comfortable with being social. He knew you'd like that so he could project that at you for a positive response. What do you think guys that aren't super confident in their social ability of approaching women should do?
@cavmanier like any other thing, practice. Everyone gets rejected, everyone sucks at one point. I couldn’t flirt at all.. like at all lol but the more you put yourself out there, the more comfortable you get.
So they basically need to become that way. The only problem with that is those are the guys more likely to cheat. Think about it: they're charming and good at meeting women. There's no barrier for entry (business term and bad pun).
No I used to approach pretty women when I was around your age. I don't even think I needed to be charming honestly. It was money in the bank at that age. It was too easy. I'd pick up girls by waving at them in the car and stupid ways like that. I was probably good at talking to them too. For some reason I've always felt uncomfortable doing it in the gym though.
@cavmanier some of them, maybe. I love talking to guys like that when I'm at a club, meeting people at social events, etc. when it comes to actually getting a boyfriend though, there's obviously more things I look at apart from being charming and most people would too. But things like being able to hold conversations are important for every day life though.
hahah sounds like you had fun :P yeah the gym is pretty tricky but fun fact, I met my ex and current boyfriend at the gym lol it can actually be a good place to meet people ahahah its just more awkward I guess. [ i didn't date the guy i told you about in the previous comment, that was on a holiday]
There are guys that can't hold conversations? Lol. I guess that's true. I remember when me and my best friend would go out, we were a great team. He was the epidemy of outgoing. He knew the regulars and the bouncers at wherever we went. I'm not that way lol. So he would get lots of girls attention, but I did much better once communication started. He couldn't get into topics in a deep way. I realized my sorta block when it came to meeting women so I just started acting random like he did and it worked! I didn't even have to be smooth. It's probably different now a days. People are probably more on edge when being social publicly.
I actually only dated one of the girls I approached. I mainly just wanted to see if they would be interested, kind of like girls on tinder now a days lol. Now for years I've mainly been in LTR's so I never practice. There's a lot of cute people there though, a disproportional amount.
@cavmanier oh yes its very true. Most people are quite boring when it comes to conversation, i think one of the reason for that these days is the internet, people dont even meet people in real life anymore and that is a problem because whether we like it or not, we need social skills and you get them by facing the world.
hahah oh man, the good days with the boys hey?
oh the gym is great ahahahah i had a crush in there when I had no idea on how to approach someone and I think i scared him away ahahahah I was the creepy girl that stared for ages and did nothing LOOL good times
There is definitely some truth to it. Women will let a guy they're attracted to treat them like shit. A guy they're not attracted to can treat them like a princess and get nothing in return.
Mind you, guys are similar. Maybe it's just that most of us have fewer fans, so we don't get to exploit it quite as much.
This is sad, but true. A lot of women think this way including myself but won't ever admit it.
I admire your honesty
I'm always 100% honest.
I think that’s the typical emotional reasoning women engage in and it’s exactly why I don’t flirt at work or in other situations that could cause me problems.
I also think it comes from a narcissistic and self absorbed mindset in which the world revolves around someone who thinks like this.
I think it's valid.
I think if they find a guy to be unattractive then they will be quicker to become bothered and tolerate less. And if a guy is very attractive they'll be more receptive and more tolerant of whatever he does -- much slower to be bothered and less likely to cry harassment -- they'll want to believe it's a flirt. Whereas with the other guy, that idea grosses them out and sets them more against him than for him.
It changes, but mostly probably true
The person receiving the attention determines what it is. I think you're saying that if a good looking person gives you attention, you consider it flirting, but from an "ugly" person, you consider it harassment. The key is "unwanted attention of an inappropriate nature". If you WANT it, it's not harassment, no matter who is giving it.
I do think attractive guys can push the boudary a lot further while flirting without being thought of as a creep and that unattractive are far more likely to be perceived as creepy.
That is true and how is the nature..
I have dated people who were not hot. Looks are one important factor to consider, but they're defo not everything.
That's for sure. What they mean is more like when an ugly guy writes you, you just ignore it and kinda feel bothered but if it's coming from a handsome guy, same behaviour pulls your attraction
They have a point. I have never dated or hooked up with an ugly guy. However, I have dated a few guys who most people would consider just "average."
It is true.
Haha.. you summed it up
That’s sadly a statement that is mostly true, it shouldn’t be that way however.
Yeah, agreed
If it is true, this is terrible. Women like to get attention of hot guys just like men like the attention of hot women. This is normal. There are few hot women and men in the world and few ugly women and men. Most of us are average, we should all deal with it.
I look average
No one have judged me based on looks yet and I think if someone will ever judge me based on looks then it's their loss I won't care... People often think I'm a player but when they get to know me their opinion changes. I'm here for myself and for things I wanna do so idc tbh 😂 LOL
I agree, ugly people shouldn't flirt. They should stay in the woods where they belong.
Haha
I know it's the truth, I never had luck in love so... I know what it feels like when you're not worthy :(
Life is still moving on, I know you lived lots of things, yet it hasn't ended
I know, but it's very difficult sometimes, especially for someone who had only unrequited love.
If he would like my slave why not lol I want slave 😂
😂😂😂
i didn't get phrase but i agree with ur explanations selina u r from the good looking people but thank god u r smart enough to put emotions and personality of the one who is going to date you as prior not look 👍
People are a shallow race, and it truly shows in that lay out, so in other words it is perfectly ok to flirt, but not harrass, but both are defined by the person's looks
Yeah, that is true most of the time. The good looking get away with flirting. Women will think of it as cute, sweet or whatever. If an ugly guy does it he is often considered creepy.
The 2 things are totally different, whether you are handsome or not.
Flirting is playful banter or teasing, harassment is vicious and nasty , even physical...
Depends on how you percieve it. Personally I view people flirting with me as them just joking around.
Replace harassment with creepy and I’d agree with it.
I'd have if I could edit
yeah it is true if the guy is handsome then it is perfect whatever he is. gonna do but if the guy is ugly then it is offensive and harassment.
Its discriminating.
Thats why I never flirt with girls
I do think that’s true, charisma can get you farther than any attractiveness will
That's hypocrisy right there.
Yup and that's kinda the nature..
I don't give a fuck to what others think and i only compliment if i mean it
it's called double standards, welcome to life (though it was kind of explained in the tutorial)
Selina flirts with PLM=PLM is handsome?
What does your update mean? Your English isn’t getting better lmfao
It's getting worse I know
I mean even if it is the most handsome guy, I am never going to give him double standards and his looks do nothing to me. But when it comes to dating, I surely care about looks also, but I wouldn't date with someone else only for his looks
Ahhhhhh okay...
so if an ugly and attractive man harass you then it’s harassment no matter how good or bad he looks.
It is about their way of showing respect. I care about manners a lot
When you say “looks” what do you mean exactly? What is included?
appearance
So just face?
Lmao plm
@ChocolateCheesecake
Selina is obsessed with me for some reason, help me Cheesecake.
Well I don't blame her you are a hottie lol
Lmao thank you Cheesecake.
Lmao welcome
@ChocolateCheesecake he's not that lucky;)
Yeah I would agree with that
So you are always in the flirt level
The difference between sexual harassment and flirting is how attractive someone is.
Harassment is one-sided and unwelcome sexual advances.
Flirting is welcomed and reciprocated.
That’s called life LOL
Jeeez. :-D Nobody even harasses me. :-D
Can u plzz clarify?
I guess I already did
Yeah sounds about right in this society
Yeah, that's kinda fact, unfortunately.
well-said true most of the time
Lame.
Don't care about it. I only like feet
accurate
It fits.
10000000000% true
It happens...
True
makes sense
it’s true
Does not bother me
It is true
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