Just tell her what you've told her over and over and over again.She needs to respect your wishes.
HOWEVER, I know how she feels. I hate having secrets in relationships! You not telling her everything makes her feel not WORTH telling. It makes her feel insecure about herself as an individual. Like, "Why am I not good enough to know?" It also makes her question how you value your relationship with her. She also might think you don't trust her, thinking she'll blabb it all over town. Heck she might do that, you know her better than I do!
Regardless, most relationships are an open book and everybody is secure in sharing their secrets and issues with their partners.
Just tell her you'd rather keep this to youself. And make sure she knows you're keeping it to yourself and ONLY yourself. Don't go around telling your mom, your brother, your friend etc. (If you're doing that, NO WONDER she's so curious and insecure about this) And when you do this, make sure you point out how important she is to you and how much you love and value her. Make her feel like gold to you, like you can't live without her!
If you make her feel wanted, loved, trusted, and cared for then it will be easier for her to get over the fact that you don't want to share your secrets.
Most Helpful Opinions
Have you tried explaining to her WHY you don't want her to know certain things about you past. Maybe by you becoming vulnerable and explaining to her you true feeling for not wanting to answer these uncomfortable questions. After talking with her, if she still insists then answer the questions. If she doesn't like your past choices then she doesn't like all of you. Don't be ashamed, our pasts have made us into the people we are today. EVERYONE has regrets. It's hard to open up to someone we don't trust also. So if it's a new relationship be honest about how you want to get to know her more first before sharing these really important parts of yourself. Women just need to know stuff. Tell her when you are ready and feel comfortable you will open up. Say until then please respect my decision and give me sometime and don't bring it up again. And then when you are ready you will eventually have to become vulnerable to take your alls relationship to the next level. Just Communicate, by not saying anything at ALL you're still communicating something and it's making her sad, mad, insecure, or whatever. So just explain the things I mentioned maybe.
how did something like this come up in the first place? --is the question cause if it is something secretive and definitely to yourself where you know you would never tell anyone when the conversation came up about you having/ holding any secrets why not just say you do not have any secrets that way she wouldn't have been having this BIG deal that she's having right now. You must have hinted to her in some way or told her you had secrets you won't tell.
Are you not talking to her about your past at all? She probably is feeling you won't fully be opened with her and if she continues with this it could possibly end what the two of you have trust&honesty along with communication seems as if it is a must for her.
Because if you love someone you care about them therefore you try to help them out by understanding what they're going through! (Your girlfriend)'
(you) and if you really love her you would want to tell her because you trust her to understand you! And if there is a chance where you do tell her what are your secrets and she won't understand it's as simple as that to understand that if this relationship gets too far in the future it won't work out cause the two for you are just not right together! Sorry but usually that's true cause when two people love they communicate and try to heal each others pain!
Well, the first possibility is illegal.so we will skip over the kill her answer.ROFL.
So, my suggestion is this.Tell her or leave her. I know you want to keep it to yourself, but one thing I know is this.women are persistant. I would lay the law down. If you have already expressed your need for privacy, and you aren't married to the woman, then it is time for ground rules. The only one you have to share your most intimate secrets with is your spouse.anyone else can use it as blackmail.and sometimes, so can your spouse.
So, I would just decide how important this is to you, then lay it on the line. Tell the woman that she either needs to let this go or it is going to damage your relationship.or.tell her that you believe that by telling her these things it might effect your relationship, but she is forcing you to tell her anyway, so if it messes things up.you hold her responsible.
Good luck. Personally.I'd stick to my guns and not tell her. Keep your privacy. But that is just me.
Normally if it's something we don't want known then we just keep it to ourselves and if the topic is ever brought up in conversation then it's denied.
It appears that she has latched onto something (past relationships maybe) that she won't let go until you come clean to her satisfaction. You must have opened this can of worms and that now leaves you with a choice to either tell her or not.
If she's not going to let it go then give her what she wants. If it's really something horrible that you want to keep hidden, then lie to her.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
being in a relationship is about trust and communication. she most likely feels like she can't get to know you completely because there are things about you that she doesn't know about. and not knowing things about you probably just bothers her because she keeps thinking about it and wondering what it could be. it would be very difficult for us girls to be in a long term relationship not knowing things about them and their past. she's only asking because she wants to know everything about you which isn't neccisarily a bad thing. imagine if she had secrets and she refused to tell you. you would have tons of thoughts about what you don't know about her. I personally think that if you really care about her and want a future with her then you should just tell her. if she really loves you then she'll stand by you, annd your past.
Well, it's a big deal to her because she wants to know that you have a relationship full of trust (you trust her enough to tell her your secrets). If you think it's better to keep it a secret than do so and tell her you wish she would respect that. But you must know that the fact she knows you have secrets may cause a rift in your relationship. Do you think you will never tell her even if your relationship lasts a long long time?
if you want to be in love fully.you can't keep secrets from each other
Learn more
We're glad to see you liked this post.
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions