Being attracted to authority figures?

[Anonymous]

I know I have issues with male authority figures and I've only really started to realize now. In my family it is very difficult to get the absolute support from the father and if you cross him on issues communication can completely shut down as he does not like to be challenged by those that he views as inferior to him. This all sounds very extreme and on a day to day basis our relationship is good and it has improved as I have learned to assert myself and use confident but not aggressive language when discussing a 'difficult' issue with him.

We had a big falling out a few months ago but it has been resolved. Our relationship has since improved and he has a new level of respect for me.

My problem is that I am extremely awkward around any males that I view as superior to me i.e. more intelligent than me or better looking than me. I am seriously attracted to authority figures and I can blur the lines between earning their respect on an academic level and genuine attraction. I hate feeling like this as it is seriously dangerous. I don't think it is healthy to be attracted to lecturers in the way I am and as a result I don't think I am open to guys my own age. Please help! The other night a group of students and professors went out for drinks and I had one to many and basically cornered one of my superiors for a conversation. He wasn't even remotely drunk and although I don't think I truly flirted I am worried that I came across as a super fan girl. I am really embarrassed to see him again. Any advice?

[Eyez-A-Blazin]

Wow this is a pretty big question. But the man you are truly attracted to is your father and I don't mean it in a wrong way. but if you were raised by him then you will be attracted to what you are familiar with and what you value and its sounds like you value him alot. and the intimidation you have for those who are authority figures comes off from the fact that you see that of which you are attracted to( your dads personality) but the person you see on the outside is not him, so you are intimidated because you are not familiar with the outer appearance, so you feel awkward because you don't know that person on the outside but you are attracted to what you see on the inside.( hope that makes sense) so to answer your question, if I were you I would seek the biggest and greatest authority figure of all. God. Admiration you have for your father is actually a characteristic from God. Only differnece is, God is not insecure, so he would never have to shut others down to make him feel inferior to everyone around him. That is actually a very big flaw in some men but they don't realize it. God is love but he is also authority and perfect in his using it. I'm sure your also awkward with your dad too, because he intimidates u. but your also attracted to him because you love him and he's your dad. you really need to focus on what's best for you and try not to admire this flaw your dad has and find out what you know is right for u. trust me you don't wanna end up with someone whose going to try to control you fully. you will be miserable. be confident in yourself and ask god to help you build it. compare your dad to god and you will find that this is a flaw in men that is not healthy for u. no man is perfect and I'm not sayin we shud be or have to be but at least look for what is going to make you happy in the long run. you may not even believe in god, but trust me he's there, you just got to stop, look around and observe and he will reveal himself to u, if your willing to see. hope this answer helps and good luck hun.

[Asker]

Thanks. I truly appreciate the time you have taken to answer my question ...but I am a complete atheist - so no God for me. But ye I kind of get what you are saying

[Eyez-A-Blazin]

well I hope for you the best and hope maybe one day it will be a Yes god for u. lol. take care

[Eyez-A-Blazin]

and your welcome hun!

[jenn33]

hey I like your answer...been struggling wtih the god issue these days...

[Eyez-A-Blazin]

thnx jen. and same here with da god thing.

[q-uietgirl]

I have the exact same problem, being attracted to older guys and I have no intentions of pursuing any of it, just super attracted to the authoritative aspect I guess. It's not even that they're super hot, I guess it's just that they're so successful and I look up to them because they have more life experience and stuff. I'm 17 so it's even weirder for me. And I feel like the part you said about "blurring the lines between earning their respect on an academic level and genuine attraction" totally clicks with me and I feel bad for doing that... i dont really have an answer for you, just sympathizing.