Is it strange having attraction to people who are troubled?

Question

PoliceLivesMatter · Accepted Answer

There’s a biological reasoning for this. I believe if this is true for someone, it could mean that you want to help, support, or cure this troubled person, alluding to a woman’s more nurturing nature, which might be the reason for women wanting to be with a troubled man. If a man is wanting to be a troubled woman, it could be that he is sensing vulnerability within the woman, and therefore, not only has a higher chance of being a protector but also feeling more masculine and dominant. These are some of the reasons that I think men and women would be interested in a troubled individual.

Pineapple_Boy · Accepted Answer

The attraction may not come because the person is troubled. It actually comes from the good you see in the individual or the potential you think this person has of being an amazing human being. Its kinda like the diamond in the rough analogy.

Lee06 · Accepted Answer

It’s not bad, but realize being with a troubled person will make you lose yourself. I was once close with a suicidal person, I had to cut her off because she had put me through so much along with her. It’s not worth sacrificing for someone else if it makes you lose yourself. Be safe :)

anmari2001 · Accepted Answer

Love is strange?

xZoeyx · Answer

I think I'm like that because I can relate to them more than "normal" people

JesseEllyson · Answer

No, not at all. It's the "Knight in shining armor" complex. We all want to be heroes, ride in on our trusty steed, and save the day. We see the walking wounded, the broken hearted, the soul crushed, and we want to be the savior. But this is a dangerous path to walk. Who are we to think we are qualified or even remotely able to help these damaged souls? More often than not, we do more damage, we deepen their pain. And not that, we don't into the same pit we are trying to pull them out of. Be wary of who you try to help and how you try to help them. And be especially careful of your emotions. We become attached to the ones we try to help and we mistake our attachment for love. Then, when we fail to drag them back to their feet and they wander off, their pain greater than ever, and they leave us behind, we are the ones with broken hearts. I know whereof I speak. I've fallen into this trap many times.

TheFunkyThumb · Answer

I used to have a huge issue only going after the "damsels in distress" and i learned two main things from it.
1. You can't fix anyone. You can help, you can support, you can do almost everything but actually fix them.
2. No one person is ever going to be worth sacrificing who you are as a person.

It took many years, many heart aches and many hard lessons learned to figure that out

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If you had a parent who was troubled or caused trouble or if you have felt troubled in your life - that might explain your attraction to them. In the same way that girls with controlling parents like controlling guys and girls with easy going parents like easy going guys.

karahiri · Answer

I think it's an immature notion. Wanting to save people, being their rock... I think it overestimates our own personal limits. It reminds me of how teenage girls want that emo guy that they can help emotionally

drewbaby1616 · Answer

Definitely not. I'm a very empathetic person, and I love being able to help people when they're having a hard time. The girl I'm with right now has a lot of stuff going on in her life, and I decided to be with her to provide the much-needed support in her life. I mean, sure, I think she's cute, smart, and really sweet, but she has a lot of experiences that I can relate to, and that's what really drew me to her (by the way, I just realized that I accidentally used my name, Drew, as a play on words XD). There's nothing wrong with being attracted to people who are hurting.

TangoCharliePDX · Answer

"Show me a man's friends and I'll show you who he truly is." It might say something about you. But that could be a lot of things, it might mean you've developed a type based one someone that left a deep impression on you. However you also deserve someone who is healthy, so choose someone who seems disturbed by the needs of others - then you can help them together!

brendon76 · Answer

No, sounds like you’re a “fixer”. Certain personalities like to problem solve and fix and are attracted to people who need fixing. It can be beneficial to both people in the relationship.

wankiam · Answer

strange? yes... uncommon, no. it means like many people you are a fixer and you like a project. seen it many times

Udbhav_Bantwal · Answer

No, it's not strange... Perhaps you feel drawn to people like that because you feel troubled as well and probably connect better with other troubled people so that you may help each other through your difficulties... I know this because I am that way...

whiteangel1 · Answer

I think it's normal.. i'm attracted to troubled people too because i feel like i wanna help them and make them feel better

martyfellow · Answer

Not at all. It shows you have a sensitive heart and care about other people even when it might be problematic for you to show your feelings.

JudgmentDay · Answer

I don't know if this relates to the saying "Misery loves company" or not. But it sure seems like it to me.

JimRSmith · Answer

It's not uncommon, but you won't have a quiet life, either.  Some people can't be healed or saved, unfortunately...

Ayer93 · Answer

Everyone has their own things they're attracted to. I think I'm also attracted to people that are depressed to an extent because I find them relatable. If it's overwhelming though and all they talk about is their problems 24/7, I admit that's a turnoff.

CHARismatic110 · Answer

No. It's more normal than you think but usually because you're troubled too.

Shoenron · Answer

Savior's syndrome. You're taking care of troubled people because deeply you want someone that will take care of you.

yousir · Answer

No, a lot of people want to try to fix someone that's broken.

Anonymous · Answer

I’m exactly the same. If they aren’t troubled or should say had a troubled upbringing then I just think they aren’t as mature as most men their age (this was how I thought when I was younger) I like to protect them and comfort them. It’s strange I admit, but I feel I can relate to them on some level and understand as I’m not a judgmental person.

DollFace0612 · Answer

No. But it probably means you have your own issues to work on.

AudreyGillz · Answer

Not at all, it just means your drawn to people who need fixing.

creampie99 · Answer

I fall fascinated with troubled people. It gives me an excitement

serenityanne0531 · Answer

Of course not! That just means your more drawn to them, and maybe its a sign?

Uhhjsshshdh · Answer

I'm kinda like that. I find shy women with social anxiety cute and adorable.  But for a girl to like guys that are troubled? That's pretty rare. In a good way though in my opinion.

doitson · Answer

Its insanely common, there are 3 kinds of people, fixers, fighters and brokens or so my psychologist friend said. Fixers go for brokens, brokens for fighters and fighters for fixers. They are bad combinations but for some reason a lot are drawn in by the type

FatherJack · Answer

I thought , women especially , would be repelled by a troubled man. It's not really strange , just very rare.

Thadon99 · Answer

Well, i think that it is something really normal. When you start getting attracted by someone you unconsciously feel the right to fix that person and to turn that person into someone better, because you like that person

shep0612 · Answer

No i am caring and want every woman who is having a hard time. None of u deserve the world we have created u. Sense i am not alowed to be a part of it i believe i can provide good woman a fulfilling life

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

No it's not strange, because many women think they can fix people, particularly guys.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure. I keep ending up with chicks with messed up home lives and I feel like I'm not actively seeking those types of girls out yet girl after girl it's always the same.

Anguished · Answer

I think its okay. Finding out how people work has always intrigued me, maybe you're the same. I don't know

ShadowGamer · Answer

I don't know about troubled but to put it this way the kind of people that the media at large call "normal" trouble me with their fakeness and problems.

confussionandguilt · Answer

No, maybe you have a very kind heart and like helping people?

JãññyBõõ · Answer

No some people are like I'm like that it's the idea of helping that person that makes me attracted them

FemWorship · Answer

Depends on your life, if not already swamped with such types, then the ego boost from thinking one has the powers to fix such Management 101 teaches: one can manage almost anything... except people

Anonymous · Answer

No, it's very common with those that suffer from rescuer complex.

clampfan101 · Answer

I don’t think so. Some nurses fall in love with their patients.

britpop · Answer

I don't think it's strange it brings out girls mothering instincts and guys protective streaks

IsoUser · Answer

It's more common than you think because most people men and women want to help the opposite sex.

Robinvegas69 · Answer

Not really because deep down we are looking for excitement and unfortunately it turns out bad most times.

ECBlanchard · Answer

It is actually a natural thing empathy and humanity, and you are very lucky to have it not everyone dose.

sokatrez · Answer

It's not strange for once, but it indicates that one is also troubled and tries to distract him- or herself from the own troubles.

JohnFrost · Answer

No, for me it gives a feeling I can help and be needed

BeenShook · Answer

Can't say of its normal, but I know I'm attracted to them

sneakylittleavocado · Answer

Yeah, its also arguable that you can't help yourself but give your energy to those people making yourself weaker in process

zaxter222 · Answer

Not really. It's intriguing. Most people feel the need to help and get close to those who have it rough. Makes them feel closer to them.

VaIiant · Answer

No. It’s the hero complex. It’s more common with men, but women can have it too.

Catholicgirl22 · Answer

It's common espicially amount teenage girls who love drama.

mk821 · Answer

I'm sure you're not the only one. I think its a common attraction with some people.

spun14u · Answer

Not really I do the same thing, I have a desire to help

tthomps5452 · Answer

It's natural to have those feelings, because love is based on feeling, not necessarily desition

bernardmr93 · Answer

Not really strange at All, it's the fixer upper mentality. You want to help them

Anonymous · Answer

No, but be careful—you and me are helper types... don’t marry someone just because you want to help them...

scruby · Answer

I don't know if it's wired but i so sense a troubled person aura pretty easily, and i end up making silly face everytime.

Anonymous · Answer

Not really. You're attracted to them because you want to help them.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

No it's not strange i have attraction towards females who are troubled.

morimorishoujo · Answer

It's alright. Everyone has a type. It may be because you have common interests.

Wasaaasa · Answer

Its absolutely retarded to date someone like that for once they can place you in harms way or lead you into a path where you will end up using drugs or even being on the street trying to ask for a place to crash

NerdInDenial · Answer

Nope because you think you can help them and that’s exciting

Anonymous · Answer

sometimes troubled minds can sniff vulnerable people miles away. so sometimes they portray this knight in shining armour at first just to get info from you and use it against you in the end

Is it strange having attraction to people who are troubled?

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