How much attention should you give a girl when dating?

[Anonymous]

We've been on three dates. We aren't official or exclusive yet because we haven't talked about it, so I auto assume we aren't.

I want to contact her, text her call her let her know I'm thinking about her, but I also don't want to be getting in touch with her everyday and give her the vibe that we're in a relationship. Because we aren't yet.

I also want to contact her just enough so that its not too much and she gets tired of me, but its not too little and she thinks I'm barely interested in her.

My plan was text every 2-3 days, and maybe sometimes text days back to back. And then call her once a week to flirt her up on the phone and also set up another date.

She never calls or texts me first also, and so I don't want to give her too much attention when she's not giving me any.

How much contact is just right at this stage? We haven't even kissed yet just held hands in public and cuddled some.

[Dubb27]

I'm gonna have to agree with sublime melody on this one. You are thi king way too hard, if you want to call or text her then do it. The reason why we don't call you guys back the next day is because you guys are always finding an excuse to not call us back like, "She's too clingy" or "she bugs" trust me if she enjoyed herself the way you said she did on your date then she is anticipating some kind of response from you which you are not giving her. If you want to kiss her do it the same goes with contacting her, and just because you are not in a relationship doesn't mean you shouldn't contact her if anything consistancy will lead to a relationship if that's what you want. Stop thinking so much and go with the flow...

[ItalianBro]

If I went on a date three times with a girl than I obviously have feelings for her. I wouldn't think she was clingy if she called me. If I got 3 dates with a girl than she probably really likes me. I agree, he is over thinking it. The girl must like you and calling her this late won't make her think your desperate, however, waiting to text her every 2-3 days will make her think your not interested. Its has been 3 dates... you should of kissed at least and calling her and text messaging her is OK.

[SublimeMelody]

Maybe you're thinking a little too much? I mean you're not giving HER any clear signs with all the texting / calling mind games... if you like her, then tell her. And if you're going out on a date next then kiss her already! 3 dates and no kiss is going to make HER think you don't like her in that way! She's probably not giving you any attention because you're playing these weird mind games with her, which is probably making her think why you're acting so hot and cold. Call her maybe once in 2 days but text her whenever you want, and make sure you set up dates!

[Asker]

She's the one playing games, not me. We go out on two dates, hugging and cuddling (she gets nervous about that, so I don't try to kiss her to be a gentleman), and yet she still expects me to always call her and text her? She wants me to chase her and give her lots of attention, and I'm not going to do that until she starts contacting me first once in a while.

If she's going to play games like that, I've got to be careful about how much attention I give her.

[SublimeMelody]

If she's expecting you to give her so much attention without making ANY effort then that's a different story. Change tracks completely and don't contact her much for a bit.. if she makes an effort then you know she's into you, if not then to hell with it right? Mind games are alright for a little while but when it gets to a point where you start questioning every move of yours then it's time to stop.

[beastman88]

i don't know why people text, such a bother, I say to people who text, ditch your phone or at least stop with the texting, seriously complicates matters. if a person can't explain what they feel in front of you, how can you expect a positive relationship with this person?

[Quadrophonic84]

Do it once and expect her to initiate it next time. If she doesn't you know she's not that into it.

[AmberChick]

I think you have a good plan.