Why can't guys just approach their crushes?

[Anonymous]

I know about how guys feel scared of being rejected and how some deal with low self-esteem, but if guys are going to be obvious in having a crush on someone, why can't they just go up to the girls and talk? It frustrates me to see how a guy in college (a friend of mine) would be stalking his crush for the past year and yet never attempted to say a word to her.

Obviously she knows he likes her but she felt like he crossed the lines by invading her space. He has sat near her during lectures, followed her around campus (but brings a friend or two along so it would be less creepy), and makes obvious stares at her. I think she even knows that he talks about her with his friends. So guys, if you do all the trouble of doing these things and it looks like the girl will not make the first move, why can't you just man up and talk to her? It's not like she carries a knife and will stab you for approaching her.

[Brando]

Answer me why girls don't just approach their crush, and you'll understand the feeling. It's a really tough thing to do. Despite what people say, you can't act in certain ways, you can't say certain things, you basically have to play the "game" a certain way. This applies a lot more to random girls you see out, and you might get a little leeway with a girl that's already into you. But it's just a situation that has a lot of pressure to go along with it.

Try approaching a guy to see what these feelings are, and then maybe you'll see that it's not so easy as it is to say.

[ItalianBro]

It works both ways. Why do girls never approach their crush? I think it has to do with being shy? They feel they aren't worthy and have no confidence in themselves. Also they might have been rejected in the past, since most of the time girls are clueless on how to reject properly and end up leading on guys for weeks. When a simple "I am not interested", or "No" would of sufficed perfectly.

[Asker]

so if you did all of those things that my friend has been doing and your crush has noticed you doing it for the past year, you will just then leave it like that and not say a word to her?

[foolycooly1001]

you ignored his point.

[ItalianBro]

Maybe if I was shy. The first few girls I asked out were challenging. If the girl doesn't flirt and give hints than it is quite hard to approach her.

[shawtyangelboo]

i agree, my friend leads on a guy that she has no intrest in but now they go out because I liked him and she started to "like" him aswell

[marcussg1]

I don't think you understand how patronizing you sound right now.

[gummybear888]

same reasons apply for the reverse situation.

they can be too busy, they might be shy, they may fear asking a girl out, they may be afraid of rejection, they might not like the girl enough to ask her out ? etc.

[DirtyDlish]

fear. Its the same reason you should not meet your idols. You will be disappointed. we build people up in our heads so much that we are afraid to be rejected by something so great and we are afraid that it will not be what we thought. So its a fear factor. Remember this is all in the head. We should never be so reluctant for anything we don't understand. we might miss out on the magic.

[Stepp]

Some of these answers pretty much capture it. Another thing to consider is that guys often don't know how obvious they are being that they like someone.