Is confessing romantic feelings to a coworker worth the risk?

[Flower7]

I like one of my coworkers but I'm worried that if I bring up these feelings to him, it could create a bad environment at work if he doesn't feel the same or if he is in a relationship.

Yes

No

I don't know.

[MrHopper]

Its always complicated... i seen it "work" as in years later they are now married! although we all thought it wouldn't work (office gossip to take into account too)

The other issue which came from a guy i worked with, his wife also got a job at the company and they used to hate the fact they had no time away from each other... just keep it as what it is and enjoy the friendship... i work with a few girls that given different situations am sure they be up for something, but just means we got a close friendship and some one to give me a hug on a bad day

[Flower7]

Simply enjoying the friendship is a very good idea!

[MrHopper]

Thank you! :)

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I would think letting him know your available for dating will allow him to know your not taken or have any strings attached and this might be one thing to do

[Flower7]

That's a good idea. Letting him know I'm single could be a good first start.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Flower7 Yeah I think so and just see how he reacts

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks For Most Helpful Guy :)

[zeitgeist057]

I have had this situation before and I just think it's too risky because the likelihood is it won't work out and then you have to work together with this awkward feeling.

So I have always just let work crushes go unacted upon.

[Flower7]

That sounds very logical.

[JPrez]

It’s hard to say for sure. If he’s a temperamental fella and he says “no thanks”, then youl’ll have a constant reminder of the rejection when you work with him. The flip side is that he could say “yes” and you guys could date. You’d probably have to keep it hidden though because your fellow employees will gossip and could alert the boss. Not sure what your company’s policies is on employee’s dating. 🤷‍♂️

[dandiecandie]

Well i think you should first think about what you like about him, and what attracts you to him. If what you like about him is something you can't live without then you should confess but if it's something that seems like you can get it from somewhere else then maybe work on yourself to fully understand why you have feelings for this guy to the point where you find yourself in a dilemna, and willing to jeopardize your working environment.

[socksguy]

It could backfire.. and even cause you to lose your job depending on where you work and those policies... There's a saying "Never fish off the company pier." Nothing truer. Steer clear.

[Flower7]

Thanks for the advice!

[COMMODOREII]

😮😮 oooo do tell? Is he cute? Does he dress nice? Does he have a nice smile? You check out his butt?

[COMMODOREII]

Well? Lol

[Flower7]

He's not conventionally attractive, mostly because he's a bit overweight. But I really like his personality. We seem to have a lot in common and we always have a lot of fun when talking to each other.

[COMMODOREII]

Sweet!!! You are going to ask him out? 😗

[Flower7]

Probably not. Like I was saying in my question, I'm not sure if it's a good idea to make confessions to a coworker. There are a lot of things that could go wrong in that situation.

[COMMODOREII]

Not if you play it right. 😜 you can act like you just want to hang out later like ask if he likes to go out to the bars or clubs or maybe ask where he likes to get his pizza fix or wings. Then just slowly work your way into it. To see if he would like you more than just a friend. Then after awhile of hanging out you should be able to find out. Plus if he rejects then he will just think you were making convo or that you just wanted to hang. 😉

[Flower7]

Those are good ideas, thanks!

[COMMODOREII]

See if we were working together or we hung out id set you up. 😜

[Flower7]

Either that or I might have wanted to date you instead.

[COMMODOREII]

Hmmmmm true. You would be missing out on a great guy here. 😜 either way what happens is that you are happy. 😎 always my friend. 💓🌹

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Like a lot of things in life if you never try you will never know so go for it & if it works out well done & if to doesn’t life moves on.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Go for it & the next time you see him walk up to him & say dude are you single & would you date a coworker. If he says yes he is the ball is in your court & if he says no he is not all you have to do is say that is what I thought & I’ll let the lady in the back know.

[Flower7]

Lol, I love the idea of playing it off by acting like I was "asking for a friend".

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Exactly! It’s like when you forget someone’s name & all you have to do is walk up to the person & say what was your name & they usually say for example my name is Frank & I thought I told you that. You say I know your name was Frank I mean your last name.

[Flower7]

That's a good idea too! You have some great life hacks. :)

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s like if you want to look skinny hang out with fat people! Cheers to life hacks.

[Flower7]

That's much easier than going to the gym! Lol

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Nowadays I wouldn’t go to a gym talk about flufest all the way.

[Flower7]

Also, I definitely wouldn't want to work out with a mask on! That would be way too hot.

[venomhbk1313]

If you feel comfortable with telling him how you feel do it myself I would never date a co-worker because it could put a bad taste in the mouth of not only both of you but also your place of employment

[Paris13]

I would stay Friends. It could be Not Worth------Having to work in a Bad environment if it Doesn't work out. xx

[Jjpayne]

I suppose asking if they are interested in dating and other questions leading up to asking them out can help make it more knowable and less risky

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, uh, you might want to at least find out if he's in a relationship first.

[Flower7]

But it seems like asking him if he's single would make it pretty obvious that I'm interested in him.

[Jamie05rhs]

There are more casual ways of bringing it up.

[Jamie05rhs]

But also, so what if it makes him think you're interested? Wouldn't that be a good thing?

[Flower7]

If he doesn't feel the same, it wouldn't be a good thing for him to know that I'm interested in him.

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm sure he wouldn't care. If he isn't into you, and he finds you are, he'll just be like "Meh. Okay.". NBD.

[CaptainSmartass]

Nope. If he rejects you, it'll make things awkward at work. Remember, no matter what happens, you're still got to work with him for the time being.

Simples...

[GreenGold1992]

It might be smart and safe to find out if he's interested or if he's already taken, either way would be less painful

[elisa_0]

Don’t confess. Just throw somewhat obvious hints 👍🏻

[rachel776]

when you die, will you remember that "great job" you had 50 years ago, or that guy you told you had romantic feelings and married and had 3 kids with?

[Posterboy56]

So you don't even know if he's in a relationship or not? Sounds like you should definitely get to know him better before you say anything to him like that, though it's not bad in theory, in my opinion.

[Tstrbrainer]

If you feels that he is understanding and trustworthy, it's worth the risk

[pigoat]

Do you have one life to live?

Or one job to have?

[8lutty]

if u are the boss it would be called sexual harass, and if ur love interest is boss u would be called a whore, u see, people are mean.

[Flower7]

We both have the same job title. Neither of us is above the other.

[8lutty]

lucky for u , just go for it, but still there some ugly people still bad mouth about it for sure

[AlwaysBelieving]

I'd first find out if he's in a relationship.

[pizzalovershouse]

Not if they dont feel the same