Mutual attraction between you and somebody, would you tell them how you feel or would you see where it leads without telling them how you feel?

[Anonymous]

Tell them how I feel

Not tell them and see where the flirting will lead to

[NathanDavis]

I once was in this situation, and I was around your age. There were certain reasons that made me not say something openly, but there was a flirtatious back and forth, it was fun at the start but then she got a bit frustrated with it. I'll just say there were mixed signals. It's all on the details, sometimes, especific ones.

[Asker]

Yea I find being flirtatious back and forth fun and the mysterious of not knowing fully.

[NathanDavis]

as long as you find it enticing, but if you're really interested on this guy, try to see if he feels the same way or he starts to feel differently, maybe upset or confused... lol.

[Asker]

Yea he smiles when I'm nearby and makes prolonged eye contact. Once when we talked we were both laughing and smiling. Yea hehe I wouldn't flirt if he gets upset with me or if he completely ignores me.

[NathanDavis]

I mean if it starts to change from smiles, to looking away... if he gets frustrated or impatient. But it should be alright, have you tried to talk with him, or has he.

[Asker]

No not really we say hello when we pass each other. I made small talk once and he was smiling and looked nervous. I try to talk to him but never know what to say.

[NathanDavis]

maybe he doesn't know what to say either, so what would you want... to talk about, or know about him.

[Asker]

Yea that's true. What his interests are, I just don't know anything about him apart from his job that's probably why I'm finding it hard to start a conversation

[Anonymous]

It would really depend on the situation and where we met because there are other things to consider.

If it's someone I've met from my social circle I'm more likely to be more indirect and to play the long game. Well, long game as in meeting them a few times before I make my move. In fact I'm likely to be quite aloof at the beginning and wait for them to make conversation with me.

If they like me they'll usually hint, and although a lot of men complain about that I'm good at picking them up. I'll wait until we're alone together in private away from the group, build some sexual tension, and if she gives me the signals I'll kiss her. Then we'll go from there. If I don't get the feeling that she's into me I'll do nothing. No risk of anybody in the group finding out that I asked a girl out and got rejected, I don't want to negatively affect my reputation within the group.

If it's someone outside of my social circle I'll let it be known very early, perhaps right from the get-go. I've got nothing to lose here if she says no, I might never see her again. Which also means that if I don't shoot my shot I might not get the chance again either.

[Asker]

Yea I know him but not close like in my social circle. But yea we have this sexual tension when we see each other so I think I will let it build a bit more then I see how he feels

[lol20075]

I was in the same situation before too, and ended up telling the guy (now my boyfriend) how I felt. He felt the same way and didn't tell me until months later that he had been thinking really hard about asking me out, but would always back off cause he thought I was way out of his league. It wasn't until he saw an op-ed column about younger women being open to dating older men did he get the gumption to ask me if I wanted to have dinner with him cause he happened to be in my area. I was pretty excited and we had a great night, even had a few drinks. I was super buzzed and I decided in my mind F it, and told him how I felt. He looked super shocked and happy and didn't say anything for a couple minutes, just a super cute and sexy smile on his face was all I saw. Later he told me he honestly thought I was going to say no because of our age difference.

We've been together for 1.5 years now, and in a pretty serious relationship. We're crazy in love and I really want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Life is too short and we should make the best of it. Sometimes you gotta take risks and step out of your comfort zone. If you keep putting yourself down and telling yourself "who would ever be into someone like me?" you're subconsciously setting yourself up for eternal loneliness, and even bring in people into your life who have zero self-confidence.

[Asker]

Awww yea that's sweet. Yea there's like a ten year age gap between me and the guy so he might feel the same. Yea your right life is too short. I see how the next few weeks are like and then go for it 😬

[Asker]

How long did you know him for before you told him how you felt?

[lol20075]

That's so cool! Me and my boyfriend have a 14 year age difference. His personality isn't boisterous or flamboyant, it's more laid back and casual, which I appreciate since I'm like that too.

We met for the first time I think late 2016 at work, I was hired as his assistant in the office for some accounting work. Towards the end of August 2019 I told him how I felt after having a glass of wine hehe. I was such a lightweight back then so I felt super buzzed when we were walking out of the restaurant.