How do I stop being a jerk to my crushes and just act like a normal girl?

[Anonymous]

Okay so. This is going to sound so stupid. And it’s a problem I face often. I meet a guy, he’s remotely nice and doesn’t make fun of me, we hang out, I like him, I notice, I start being a jerk.

i basically make snide jokes about them and tease them with embarrassing things, and basically act like a side-villain in a romcom.

I don’t know how to flirt, or how. I’m very unattractive at my school and no guys like me, so I just MAKE SURE they don’t like me?
I don’t know why I’m like this. But of course I just HAAVVEE to be autistic and not understand how humans work.

can someone please help me? What do I do when I wanna be mean to I guy I like? Because if I’m not mean- I think they’d catch on! And then I’d get rejected again and be embarrassed and ruin a friendship!

I sound like such an idiot. Anyway- I see other girls in my grade just easily getting boyfriends and having great relationships! But I don’t know how or when to get past the crush zone- I don’t even wanna make it to the friend zone because if they find out while im in the. “Friend zone” then I’d lose a friend!

IM RAMBLING THIS IS DUMB

OKAY SO BASICALLY!!
If a girl was mean and snide and made teasingly rude jokes to get a reaction- would you know she likes you?

[PositiveNote]

Gotta tell you... I do the same thing around females of most any age. Especially if I think that are attractive, I tend to get stupid! Yeah, I do! I act like a 7th grader on the playground. Check my age, I'm still doing it! Sometimes, I honestly don't know what to do about such things, but it really doesn't do you us good! I've taken some actions in the past to control myself, and here is what you can do, too.

First of all a definition from Wikipedia. "Self-control, an aspect of inhibitory control, is the ability to regulate one's emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. ... As an executive function, it is a cognitive process that is necessary for regulating one's behavior in order to achieve specific goals."

What can you do?

One, write down all the traits you don't like about yourself. Force yourself to make a list because you have to understand yourself before you can do any changes.

Two, add to your list a description of when you see this. Also add what may trigger it.

Three, take only one trait at a time. Think of how or what you can do to eliminate it. think of substitute actions or verbal replies. Write it down, come back and write down your results. Go through your list and record your achievement, failures and come up with more options for where you failed.

By taking this deliberate action to eliminate what inhibits your social capabilities, you will turn into a princess—most likely a queen, and land the guy of your dreams.

Let me know how it works for you! Oh, and by the way, you are already a "normal girl!"

[Anonymous]

You need to do some self reflection & practice self honesty. ask yourself question like "am I lying to myself when I say respect is important in a relationship", you might be telling yourself things that aren't really true. Judging on how self defeating you sound I am assuming all you're focusing on is the bad things about yourself & you don't see any of your good qualities. Try to be honest with yourself & honest with your crush. And if you don't know how to, just make it as honest as you can. Let them know you're working on improving your communication skills & you need them to be your voice of reason because sometimes you can't tell when you're being obnoxious or rude. You really want to be with him & to make him feel happy being with you. People respect an honest person who can admit their mistakes instead of lying to themselves saying "Oh I'll do my diet on Monday" or "I'll quit smoking for good this time for sure. I promise", when you lie to yourself people won't feel comfortable around you. Telling truth isn't easy. When people say empty platitudes like "just be honest" or "just be yourself", they think it's easy because they say it in 3 words yet they probably struggle with it as well. When you're around someone who shows genuine empathy & is honest or is at least trying to be hones to the best of their abilities people will want to be around them more because naturally they have respect for someone like that because a lot of people nowadays are very deceptive & you can't trust almost anyone, so when they see a person who is trying to be honest they'll feel safe around them & want to be with them more.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you might not feel you deserve to be loved. Self sabotage. You might get help talking with someone. They can tell you how to stop.

[Whateveryousay99]

I think society has brainwashed you into thinking women can treat men any type of way and because we’re men we should be able to take it. How would you feel if you were nice to the love of your life and he treated you like dog sh*t? What would your mother or friends say? You should stop messing with him. Well that’s probably how he’s feeling. The main problem with you is you have low self confidence and that’s a recipe for disaster. You’re going to end up being single for a long time or you’re going to attract the wrong kind of guys. It’s time to put on your big girl pants and act like a decent human for once. The world is bad enough already, c’mon..

[PsychedelicZebra]

Yes, my wife does this all the time, and I married her.

[Asker]

POV: you read through our charade

[Pohjolan]

No being mean isn't a effective way of flirting and you are overly worried about guys realizing that you like them.

Besides even if they did realise it and were not interested they would just leave it at that as long as you don't make a move on them.
Basically you are creating extra drama for no reason.

[BeMuse]

It doesn't matter if they get the impression that you like them, a lot of people don't want to be treated like that and don't like games. So even if they know the opportunity is present, many people will take a hard pass.

[This_Is_My_Opinion8]

There is nothing more to do than to be able to let your guard down. I know I know that's the issue and it's not easy to do. Try to let your guard down with a really nice guy. One thta you just know won't be mean to you even if he rejects you.

[Twalli]

I am also autistic and I only date people that are friends. The friendzone only exists if the other person doesn't find you attractive. If you're a jeri to me you're not someone I will be with at all, if possible.

[driven159]

You are covering up your own insecurities so you make so you dont get hurt

[Asker]

Correct

[Jamie05rhs]

Regarding the last question at the end of your post:. The answer is no.

[Ryfyle]

You need to see a shrink to deal your many psych issues.

[rabbitzzz]

No, its a good way to end friendships too.

[Asker]

EXACTLY!! ANS IT SYCKS

[LegendaryIcon]

stop being a dumbass?

[jahaims]

Mature

[Jmmmfi4]

Lol no I wouldn't