Ladies, is it attractive for you to see confidence in a man?

[Anonymous]

Just curious, as far as I’m concerned it’s not that attractive or hot in itself, I can even find it unattractive when it doesn’t seem justified. What’s more attractive to me is to see someone successful with a touch of self-doubt I’d say

Yes definitely, very hot and attractive

Mmh somewhat yes but not always

No it’s not attractive in itself I would focus on other things

[MCheetah]

Straight women almost universally see ego as the top/most important trait a man needs to possess, in order for her to like him. So every girl who voted Option B or C is either flat-out lying, or they're queer and into women.

As for me? I don't get it. In both ways. I don't get why straight women are almost universally attracted to high pride in men; guys who act like their sh*t don't stink and are literally infallible/flawless. But also, I myself have too many flaws to ever act like that, including my fatal flaw of height. (Or, lack thereof.) I am not perfect, and I know I'm not perfect, so I'll never act perfect. That doesn't mean I can't speak my mind with conviction and say what I mean. But I'll be the first to admit to you that I'm not perfect. FAAAAAAAR from it, in fact! I'm more of a broken mess, than "perfect."

I am more like what OP said in being "someone successful with self-doubt." But most women want guys with massive ego, who are also successful! And what's extra ironic is, most of the time, Liberal/left-leaning women desire these men way more, despite them usually being the Donald Trumps and Kanye Wests of the world, and their ideology decreeing masculinity to be "toxic" and advocating for men to be soy boys and manginas; the very opposite of the men they claim they are most attracted to. (There's one six foot tall car-selling user on here who's name I won't mention, but she says this all the time; "masculinity is toxic, but confidence is super-sexy on a man." Like, those are completely contradictory viewpoints; what TF are you even asking for, a "confident beta male?")

But yeah, At least seven women on here, and possibly OP, are liars. An excessively high ego, is the NUMBER ONE trait, straight women desire in men! 20+ girls, 100% of all of them who voted on this poll, should have picked Option A, if they were being honest. And I say this as a man who isn't filled with ego, thus admittedly less attractive to women because of it (although being short is a far bigger dealbreaker/Kiss of Death.)

And no, ladies, I don't care how much you're attracted to ego and cocky doucheyness in men. I'm not here to change your minds! Like whatever you want in men. I'm just saying, for me, confidence is a giant turn-off in women! There's few personality traits I'd hate more!

[Asker]

I don’t like too much ego/confidence, if it looks inflated and unjustified… I know some men which I completely despise who are so full of themselves just because their mommy told them they were the most handsome boys in the universe. They’re not, they’re ugly and incompetent and the confidence is laughable. (I haven’t read your whole reply by the way I just stopped at the end of the first paragraph I have to go back to work now…)

[Ladybugharp]

@MCheetah I voted A. Seems many have a different perspective on what confidence is.

“An excessively high ego is the NUMBER ONE trait straight women desire in men”

Sorry, that’s not confidence to me; that’s one hell of a toxic person with narcissism and a superiority complex.

“I am not perfect, and I know I'm not perfect, so I'll never act perfect. That doesn't mean I can't speak my mind with conviction and say what I mean”.

To me, that’s attractive confidence; it shows you have self-awareness but the balls to speak your mind.

[Summeroflove]

This really honestly depends on the woman. I have seen women yet with guys who are more insecure and absolutely they just transform.

It really does depend and there is false confidence too. I think for many men confident women are attractive.

It comes down to standards and preferences

[Adaeva]

It is not confidence per se that is attractive; it is having the attributes that give confidence. Years ago, chess champion Bobby Fisher was confident because he always won. Movie stars and the star QB are confident because they can have most any girl they ask and they know it. Even if he all the confidence in the world will the girl on the right accept a marriage proposal from the guy on the left.

[purplepoppy]

Confidence and competence are two concepts guys get mixed up and I often find the more one has of one the less of the other

[MCheetah]

Are you saying, men with high ego tend to be incompetent, and smart/competent men tend to lack ego? Cause I can agree with that.

[purplepoppy]

Yes the more you know the more you realise how little you know. It's the dumb shits who know everything

[Asker]

@MCheetah yeah that’s why it’s almost suspicious to see someone who’s too confident

[Guy13]

Women like a man who sure of himself in an unassuming way. They can smell it but want to discover it themselves... so don't try to dump Confidence all over the joint.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Something many women seem to forget, is that a guy can be confident around everything, except what he's afraid of screwing up/losing.

So a lot of times, if a guy seems condifent when asking you out, he probably doesn't think much of you (or has a massive ego).

[Ladybugharp]

Cockiness is the dramatisation of their abilities or achievements.

Confidence has a growth mindset and belief in their abilities.

We should be cautious around these topics. It’s basically telling a bunch of men that confidence is not okay - I think they have been told enough.

Confidence is essential to achieve goals, build resilience, have motivation, have healthy relationships etc. it's hot AF.

[Asker]

Mmh no I don’t think men have been told that, I think most would think its hot because they like confidence themselves in women a lot

[Ladybugharp]

My perspective is an individual's confidence comes from self-awareness and the ability to cope with insecurities.

The whole, “I think they have been told enough.”

My unpopular belief; there's a lot of unrealistic content out there conditioning men to believe masculinity isn't okay with contradicting societal expectations/pressures. Impacting the mental health of men on a multitude of levels. So, labelling confidence as unworthy may not help the problem.

We may see and interpret confidence differently.

[LazerBean]

It's not so much that being confident is attractive, it's just that being unconfident is unattractive.

[Asker]

Yes I agree

[Truth0225]

That’s a great way to put it

[NathanDavis]

it has always been among the main reasons why my girlfriends were attracted to me, so yes... for many it is

and it also works for me too... a genuine confidence in women is always going to be very attractive for me

[Sour-rose]

Ey, it's nice to have a guy who ain't a little bish when talking to me. But that, I mean have a engaging conversation where they got me interested and I feel at ease and don't have to keep my hand on my waist. Waist is where my knife is. :x

[hissugarbuns]

im dating someone who is very insacure about some of his body we have been together 10 years plus an it has spiraled onto me hearing him talk about how he dont like things about himself... it happens

[sunflower00]

I do like confidence, but I don’t like arrogance and an over inflated ego.


It’s nice when someone is confident in a normal way, and also humble and respectful etc.

[menina]

Yes, I think it's pretty hot. However, I don't like when confidence turns into arrogance, there's a difference between the two. But sometimes people confuse them.

[Clairebear799]

It’s attractive yes. But a good woman can also build his confidence too if he’s insecure.

[AnUglyBarnacle]

Ladies love it if men are confident without being arrogant or assholes. These two personality traits are not the same thing.

[neilsmart]

arrogance is fake confidence = not attractive but real confidence is attractive

[Brando10222]

I agree

[Labokachulaa]

I love a confident man, it's very attractive to me.

[LittleMelissa9614]

Yes, confidence in a man is attractive! Especially if it's real confidence!

[bean2k21]

I'm 100% confident that I don't care how attractive you think I am.

[pizzalovershouse]

I wouldn't know I assume that or a nice personality

[Anonymous]

Yes. If she doesn't even have enough confidence to approach me It's a turn off.

[melanieeeB]

A big yes

[lalaloveee]

Confidence is the most attractive thing

[dustybiker]

Confidence absolutely. Arrogance, not at all.

[Songomatic]

Sure as long as it’s not creepy fake confidence.

[BLP11520]

Women like decisive men

[Jennz6]

Not really sure

[Alex8736]

as long as their actions speak louder than words

[Asker]

Yeah exactly

[Alex8736]

i was raised to believe people should put their money where their mouth was. but that's just me 😃

[Ehjoh1]

I'm sure they find it attractive but not overdone.

[strateguy632]

it is

[4ngelic]

duh lol