Can I flirt by asking a guy for help, or is asking for help something that only strengthens relationships after being with a guy for a while?

[Bethany22]

Like can I ask a guy for car rides, since I don't have a car, in order to demonstrate my dependence on him? or should I wait for him to offer me a ride when I say that I was recently thinking of needing to go to the same grocery store that he just mentioned he's about to drive to? I've heard that men are flattered when women ask them for help, but maybe something like car rides are for married couples, whereas help with conflicts at work would be better suited to a guy I've recently met and want to flirt with?

[Lliam]

Girls asking guys for help has been a tried and true way to flirt forever.

It may frowned upon in modern feminist culture, but it was common throughout human history.

Girls knew how to play the game. They would approach a guy they fancied and ask for some kind of assistance, pretending to be all helpless and innocent - you know, looking up at him with wide eyes, maybe batting their eyes a bit with their brows slightly furrowed. It was an effective act. But it makes guys feel smart and strong.

Like asking for help with their homework. Or saying "I just don't know how to work this thing-a-ma-jig." Or struggling to carry something as if it's too heavy. Or saying "My car won't start and I just don't know what to do." Or even watching a guy do some kind of physical labor and saying admiringly "Golly, you're so strong!"

A guy will automatically straighten his posture and puff out his chest "Don't worry your pretty little head, ma'am, let me help you with that."

Some of those examples are old-timey exaggerations, but you get my point. The basic idea still works. I think being protective is built in to guy's genetics.

Guys feel masculine when girls do that. And it makes girls appear little, delicate and feminine.

One personal example was, after a first date with a lady, we left the restaurant and walked to our cars in the parking lot out back. We stayed there by her car chatting for a while. When we were ready to leave, we discovered that someone from the restaurant had locked the parking lot gate. So I hopped over the 6' cinder block wall and got someone inside the restaurant to open the gate.

I didn't think it was a big deal at all. But when she later told her friends about it, she acted like I was a super hero for hopping over that wall and rescuing her.

By the way, it wasn't an act. She was sincere. But I have to admit that it made me feel extra manly around her and her girlfriends and it made the her seem more attractive. LOL

There is a sense of pride in being a hero.

Girls used to let men open doors for them or help them into their chair at a table, or help them with their coat, or walk on the street side of the sidewalk to protect them in case a car drove by and splashed water.

Girls aren't helpless, but they like it when a man makes them feel safe and protected. And by allowing a man to do so, they make him feel feet tall. It's the lady-gentleman game.

Anyway, I may have gotten off track, but my point is that asking a guy for help is absolutely a great flirting tactic.

[Lliam]

Thanks for the MHO, Bethany. Sorry about the typos.

[SteveSmith1985]

It's not that men are flattered to be asked for help from a woman. That's just not the reaction. But it's a great way to move things forward on a practical level. You will have a chance to talk WHILE he is helping you (in the car). That really is the advantage. He won't be flattered. But it's a good idea. Because it will help strengthen your relationship and let you become closer (the same applies for asking a guy to help with anything where you're present for his helping).

I think you should second-guess a lot of the stuff like "guys want a girl to be dependent, that's partly what they find attractive in a woman". That stuff reminds me of a lot of the mixed-up-guys in their theories about women. (e. g. Women REALLY want a guy who is a bit of an asshole. Don't ever let her be totally secure in your affection for her, and you'll be irresistible to her).

It's all just misguided to begin with. Often its based on a kernel of truth. (in this case, there IS an element of dependence to relationships, but it's not a matter of dependence being attractive. It's a matter of it being attractive in someone you're in a relationship/marriage with)

It's not even accurate to say "dependence". Guys are just as dependent on their wives or girlfriends. It's just that there are DIFFERENT THINGS guys depend on their girl for. It's not true that a woman is dependent on a man. It just may appear that way because of the particular THINGS she depends on him for. They are things that the world sees. The things a man depends on his woman for are emotional, and very rarely seen by anyone outside the relationship.

You should ask him for a ride. Don't wait for him to offer. Guys can be super-obtuse about stuff like that. Really. You should ask. It's a good idea if you like this guy. You get to spend more time getting to know each other. 🙂

[Summeroflove]

You can ask yes. Just don’t act entitled

[RavVid]

I quite like being asked for help. I am a bit of a sucker for damsels in distress is the simple truth. If I am expected to do this every second day then I will get jack of it unless we are having sex.

The second side of it, you mentioned, I call the Mack Truck approach. Girls will tell you they have to do X but it so hard for them e. g walking there and carrying groceries back. It is an opening so wide you could drive a Mack truck through it. Hence my terminology.

I laugh inwardly when girls ask me out with the Mack Truck approach. Girl expresses desire to see latest boy movie and complains her girlfriend's don't want to see it. She has told me she doesn't have a boyfriend but needs a man with that. It is left to me to ask if she would like to see it with me and it is sort of ungentlemanly for me not to.

If he ends up carrying your groceries in you should have some beers in the fridge and offer him one as a token of appreciation.

And yes we do like fixing things for girls, so work conflicts are a go, but you need to take his suggestions and report back favorably and thank him for his advice.

[Heterosketero]

You absolutely can because men are hardwired to help, they like to help. The complication in our time however, is the decline of men willing to help because so many politics have been inserted in courting and interpersonal relation. Men assume huge risk interacting with women in 2023. Especially if they sense the help me out my "friend", but also pick up on flirtation. Sadly, many women use their charm for freebies and men still help, because like I say, we are gentically engineered to help, straight from the original female chromosone. To do, to save, to be needed. It is why many men get along with their dog better. And don't get me wrong, help is help, I help the elderly, I worked with special needs, I've helped 10 women that wouldn't ever date me as a 5 and I was happy to do so, as service is good for the soul. But when we sense that exploitation, we know.

Many a long happy marriages started with a damsel asking some beau to help change a tire on the side if the road :) It is also why men are stubborn about chivalry, getting the door for you, etc. It helps us to help you. Beauty is beauty and if is beauty that spreads a good vibe, it enriches everyone in its presence. Men are keenly aware of this. Look at someone like Princess Kate, modest, dressed down, gorgeous, smiles at everyone and exudes persona. Now, look at Megan Markle... She is the example of flirt, use, ditch and she will, shell ditch Her prince when she gets everything she wants from him. Looking at your thumbnail and reading some of your words, I would estimate you are more the former and less the latter, so ask for help, he'll love it.

[OfMiceandMen]

I wouldn't see it as her asking for help or feel flattered. If I was already going to the supermarket, then it is just carpooling... and I would respect her more bc it is good for the environment!

If she wanted to talk about work stuff/other guys on the way to bounce some ideas/feelings off of me, nothing wrong with that. It is just friendly chit-chat.

[Anonymous]

You could, but the fact that you were flirting will probably go right over our heads lol

This girl at work asked me to help her move a cart that she totally could've done herself, and I walked away thinking she was kind of idiot.

Then I later found out that I'm the idiot when another coworker told me she did that to get me to talk to her 🤦‍♂️

[FunkyMonkee]

That's how LOTS of people meet! Planned accidents are good ways to meet someone when you don't have an opener. Like, if I see someone at the store that I think I might like, I'll go over near her and do the old drop-the-jar-of-mustard-on-her-foot poly. Or, ask her to reach for something on the top shelf for me even though I'm a foot taller than her. Just about anything to break the ice.

[ElGato31]

This is not flirting, this is putting him firmly in the friend zone.

Car rides, I would just talk about where I want to go and what a shame I don't have a car to see if he offers a ride. Then you can flirt like how fantastic he is.

[pizzalovershouse]

You can flirt but by asking a question well flirting with a guy might confuse your flirt as just a silly question

[Stevefiveo]

Good way to flirt. Girls do that all the time. Ask for rides, needing help with something at their house, etc. Use your imagination.

[chicosuave]

no when a girl does that to me it sound like she wants to use me. for me if she wants to strengthen the relationship is by showing interest of wanting to spend a lot of time with me. thats the most important thing for me.

[Luffy1990]

Yes you can flirt with a guy , definitely do anything to deepen your bond with him

[Shy_Steve]

You can obviously, But if you do it too much he will think your using him.

[PizzaPieMamaBear]

No that’s excellent flirting guys like to help they’re supposed to help

[virgincountryboy]

6'8 my size long and 23/4 around soft8 3/8 Long 3 1/2 around longSo do y'all ladies think it's bad or good or anything you want to talk about it and tell me about my size and shape

[Mansearching]

Its not flirting. In a relationship type of asking thats just what we do. Either one who asks for help.

[AimeeKyle]

Most guys like to help…. it’s a good icebreaker.

[clampfan101]

Both. Plain and simple. :)

[Guardian45]

Depends how creative you are!

[Bklynbadboy12]

Flirting would be more fun

[LemiaOfThunder]

Good for you