How much do you strategize your flirting?

[Jammaa]

I feel like a lot of people do at least a little.

Kinda like when you're playing strategy games/sports where you read someone's movements and adjust because a different action is the better play to maximize your chance at winning. Sometimes you draw up plays with your boys/girls and most of them are usually bad at giving advice but every now and then there's someone who has mastered the game.

If you think this is terribly inhumane and manipulative then I'd love to hear your success story and/or what advice you'd give to someone who's terribly shy and socially anxious. If it's "be confident" and/or "be yourself", how? It isn't that easy for some people. I'm speaking from experience.

I think it's all fair unless you're intentionally doing something that you know would hurt someone just for your own gain. Often both men and women want the strategies to be done on them. This doesn't have to be super complex. It could be as simple as positioning yourself closer to the person you like.

Never

Very rarely

A little bit

Sometimes

Often

All the time

[motownplayer2000]

Lol well, I’ll say this, for me personally I do study people around me. I want to know your movements before you do it because I don’t trust people. So naturally I will study someone. For flirting, it’s more of a feel thing for me. If we have the chemistry, then I’ll be able to feel how you are and how you respond and what your vibe is. Nothing wrong with that.


Now on your note about being socially anxious and what not. You can control that. Yes, it may be a mental block or something that you are deathly afraid to do, but no one can fix that but you. You need to be brave and go after things you want. If you like being a social person then you have to push little by little to get over your anxiety. Whether that be going to counseling, or being in public more often or whatever the case may be, no one fix that but you.


Also, being yourself is just what it means.. however, most people don’t want you to be yourself, they want a version of you that is in there minds. Trust if they say you for you, it would shock them (not you personally, in general you) so that’s why people want to be impressed from the jump.


So no, I don’t strategize when it comes to flirting. I go with the vibe. If I don’t like your vibe, I’m out.

[AaronKrieger]

I have some planned out conversation starters or jokes to make that have worked before, but that's the extent of it. Almost all of it should be natural though, as that's how you'll know if you both click with each other. Unless your goal is just to have hookups I wouldn't change your personality just for a date, but instead amplifying certain parts of your personality that are attractive.

[OracleCassandra]

Flirting doesn't really come naturally to me. So I have to think it through and figure out what to say (which is a huge pain).

[DizzyDesii]

I definitely do but usually within like 5 mins of actually acting on it. I dont just sit around plotting 😂

[exitseven]

I used to do some recon on anybody I was interested in dating. I would try to find out anything I could about her.

[asphaltrhymes]

A little bit... I just never really go ahead and flirt. I just feel like, shrugs, they'd probably not be into me anyway. After all, women probably aren't single anyhow hahahaha 😁

[strateguy632]

2nd.