Last night me and my girlfriend Jess went to a house warming party. Jess kept giving lots of her attention to another dude. She kept sitting him down and giving him massages with a massage tool. Jess seemed so intrigued with him it seemed like she was following and wanted to keep talking to him. Even when he was talking to others she kept watching him.
Later that night when he was leaving the party Jess jumped in front of him and yelled “you’re not going anywhere”, And was hugging pulling him back into a chair and gave him another massage. I felt uncomfortable but didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna start a fight. I also feel like it’s double standard because a few months she got mad at me when I was talking to another woman for 30 minutes.
I know if I mention this to her she’ll break up with me. I’ve talked to her before about how I’m uncomfortable with her male friends and she threatened to break up.
Yes your jealous
No it’s the right thing to do
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Am I a jealous man for dumping a girl for flirting with others?
Doing the right thing by getting away from this one. You'll always be "Just jealous" and "Just paranoid" to a chick like this and then when she finally cheats she'll probably blame you for it like you made it happen.
The fact that you can't go near the same on your side of things pretty much shows the double standards. I bet if you tried to confront her... you'll get called "Just possessive" or something along those lines by this type of chick.
Don't listen to out-of-shape men that are basically cucks or post-wall women saying this should be normal. Hit the weights and make this woman and the cucks jealous as fuck of the hawt barely legal chick you start hanging out with. Words of warning though... learn from this and don't end up being that guy that knew you were there and was letting someone's woman drag him back to a chair for a massage in front of him. ... I would be like "hell naw, to the naw naw naw" thinking I'm getting dragged into some bull/cuck/hotwife sort of situation where I'm going to be seeing some dude trying to lick my baby gravy out of her on my way out.
If you're not that guy and have more pride than that... get the fuck out of there... hit the weights... and you will do better. Trust me. Just doing that sort of effort makes you better than 95% of the other men.
6 months of work
I'm fucking 40 and there is no way in hell I'd put up with that kind of shit... and my new chick better be under 20 and a stunna. I didn't shave my balls for nothing trash or to bang someone else's girl while he watches.
in the story you described it sounded like she went over the line and it would seem like she straight up trying to pick up another guy in front of you. but there might be more to the story than you can currently see. honestly, i'd have a "mirror argument". ill have a conversation about the situation where you can't have female friends. start a conversation with not knowing what to do since the last time she was upset, and that left you in limbo. ask her what can you do with other girls, and what to do when she is around you, bring up stuff that would bother you, and try to add stuff that you noticed her do like "what about trying to convince a woman to stay since ill feel lonely/bummed if she'd go". look at it as an exercise, seeing another person's opinion to check if you are too clingy or not, and also to check for double standards where you do stuff you wouldn't want her to do to you. after writing everything down, read it back aloud starting with "So this is what we agreed we both don't do with other people".
the idea I proposed isn't to sting her or something, but as a way to set ground rules for the both of you to prevent friction.
and if she starts to become defensive then I'd wager you have a somewhat toxic relationship.
I know that sounds extreme, though honestly it isn't.
She crossed boundaries with you by disregarding your feelings.
Then she tried to control you by threatening to break up with you.
She also turned the guilt onto you by calling you jealous when you have every right to be uncomfortable.
To many red flags.
She doesn't seem to care about how you feel and seems to remove any accountability in her actions knowing how you feel. Do you really want to remain in a relationship where your never validated?
Just based on compatibly and communication I say its the best choice for you to break up.
So no leaving her doesn't mean your a jealous man, it means you respect yourself.
If a man and woman can not respect eachother early on in a relationship then chances are they won't when they get married. If someone in the relationship feels the need to 'check out others' or ' be handsy/ flirty' with someone other than her/ his partner then they are not fully committed. Dont waste your time with someone who disrespects your relationship like that.
Honestly, I’d feel outraged after that and considering you were there. She basically treated you like an ornament, her attention was only for that other guy. I mean, it’s ok for a woman and a man to have a good and relaxed relationship with few jealousies BUT there’s always a limit. I think she way overstepped the limit.
Before breaking your relationship with her, you can at least talk with her and comprehend what was her intention: maybe she wanted intentionally to make you jealous, or maybe it’s her way to greet a friend, or maybe she wants to break your relationship but she doesn’t have the will to do that as first.
I would have dumped her on the spot, talk about disrespectful girlfriend. She should be there for you and make you as a couple look good. Not be trying to monkey branch to another guy. Same as it's not okay for you to hookup with a girl on that party.
It's hard to tell as we do not know anything else about her. I was with a flirty girl once, and she was completely faithful throughout. She even insisted that she was not flirting and that the guys were just being nice to her. Of course, the guys were looking for a chance, but they had none with her.
At parties I was a bit stressed and possessive about her, but on balance it was not a huge issue.
Oh you totally did the right thing. I'd do the same.
Just like I do my best to avoid giving the wrong impressions, I expect my SO to do the same. It's sign of respect/self-respect.
You even gave a warning shot.
Such an attitude of doing what she wants without caring about it making you uncomfortable is gonna give a lot of problems down the road in your future relationship.
No. Flirting with others when you're in a relationship is just disrespectful. Are you going to marry a disrespectful woman? Do you want your children to see your wife disrespecting you? Grow some balls, dude. Respect is the single most important thing a woman can give you. Respect is more important than love. If there is no respect, there is no relationship.
I would dump her.. to do that shit in front of your partner is horrible and cruel. She is basically telling you your feelings don't matter. She absolutely seems like a slut, I would not trust a bitch like that.
Bin her , as that alone is major disrespect. If a woman dpes not respect a man , it's game over & she will dump you and/or cheat in the near future. Cut her out of your life totally after , do not communicate with her ever again.
I would have said it's normal but considering you talked to another woman for a long time then I guess she just took revenge on you for making her jealous...
@red_knight Dude that's literally the same things, she talked to another guy and he talked to another girl... Also aways keep in mind that people that complain about their partner always make themselves look better so we always need two version before judging... He's the one giving his version and saying it was just a 30 min talk who's to say they weren't more to it? I learnt by experience to always have the two version before judging.
@red_knight What's to say he didn't drool over her? I doubt she got jealous just cause he talked to someone else... and talking during 30 min is an extremely long time.
This would be crossing the line for me. It was disrespectful and you have a right to be jealous or upset. It’s up to you if you wanna break up but you should at least have a conversation with her.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
10 mo
It's called having standards. We can decide what they are and enforce whatever boundaries we wish. Such behavior is unacceptable and she should be dumped.
I hope she got a ride back with one of those dudes she was messing with because she sure as hell didn't get a ride from me. I never saw her. Spoke to her again after that and my life was better for it. I hope you have the balls to do the same.
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