What are some signs she likes me through text? And how do I know if "flirty friends" is just FOR NOW?

[Anonymous]

I've been talking to this girl that I met through a dating app for the past few days and I'm getting mixed signals from her. Basically we flirt, but are only friends (as she calls it "flirt friends"). She said that we're better off that way because she "eats guys like me and not in a good way", basically she said she wants me to be dominant. Then she sends me a video of her smoking listening to a song and making suggestive moves. Then she was like “what do you think?” And then I told her I thought she was hot. She was like “you should say this” and proceeded to make flirts. And when I said all the dirty things I wanted to do to her she said "very nice". So I asked her “do I have a chance with you or no?” And she said “flirty friends”. To which I said “I need an answer lol” and she said “flirty friends”. So now I’m confused. Do I have a chance with her or not?

I've asked her out a few times which she pointed out so I gave up and said "If you change your mind let me know". I'm trying to give her less attention and make HER chase ME, which is kinda working. She sent me a snap this morning unprovoked and I sent one back. Also today I asked her "Is my height (I'm REALLY short) an issue for you IF you were to date me?" To which she replied "I don't know dude" then I explained that I need to slow it down and she said "mhm"

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, this chick sounds confusing as hell! I'd say based on what you told me:

- The flirty, suggestive videos and dirty talk say she's interested sexually at least.

- But saying "flirty friends" when you directly ask if you have a chance is her putting the brakes on actually dating.

- Her bringing up needing you to be dominant and "eating guys like you" makes me think she likes the attention but isn't ready to commit yet.

- The noncommittal answers about your height are also not a great sign.

Honestly bro, I'd stop chasing her so hard and giving her all the attention. Seems like she likes keeping you on the hook for now instead of actually going out.

I'd pull back, talk to other girls too so you're not hung up on her. If she sees you losing interest she may decide she does want more. But don't bank on it. This "flirty friends" limbo could go on forever man!

Stay a little mysterious, let her come to you for a change. You got options too dude, don't settle for this mindgame BS. Just my two cents anyway!

[Asker]

I’m trying to reply to her later than I usually would. Before I would reply almost immediately, now I’m doing either quickly or almost an hour. Just depending how quickly SHE replies. I’m only talking to one other girl who made it clear she’s not interested in me, but we also still talk sexual. What other things can I do to let her chase me?

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some other things you can do to get her chasing you more:

- Be a little more scarce with responding to her snaps/texts. Take an extra hour here and there so she wonders what you're up to.

- Post some IG stories of you out with the guys or doing your own thing without including her. Flaunt that you have your own life.

- When you do respond keep it brief, casual, don't double text. One message max then wait for her reply.

- Compliment her looks less. Shift conversations to be more surface level, talk about yourself and your interests too.

- If she asks what you're doing that day, give vague responses like "got some errands" instead of detailing your schedule.

- Pull back on the suggestive flirting - let her ramp it up and come to you wanting more of that side.

- Don't reply right away when she sends something provocative, wait a bit so she feels she has to earn your interest.

The goal is to seem less available, keep her curious about you, and make her work a little harder for your attention/validation. If she's really interested she'll start initiating more and stepping up her game. Let me know if any of those tactics start working!

[Asker]

I did end up meeting someone new today through a different dating app so I've been texting her. But I can already feel myself starting to obsess over her. Like right now I can see she is active on the dating app, but isn't texting me (I asked her for her number and we've been communicating that way). It's only been like an hour or two (which I know if NOT a long time at all), but I'm already panicking

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, I feel you bro. It's so easy to get obsessed and start overthinking things in the early stages. But you gotta play it cool, no matter how anxious you feel inside.

My advice would be try to distract yourself for now. Go workout, hang with friends, play some games - take your mind off checking if she texted back. An hour or two is nothing, she could be busy.

The panic is normal since you just met her and you're excited, but don't show that to her. When she does text back, don't respond immediately either. Wait at least 10-15 mins before replying, even if you see it right away. Act busy and like you've got other stuff on besides waiting by the phone.

You don't wanna come off needy so early on. Play it chill, keep your convos with her light and don't spill your whole life story yet. Let things progress naturally. I know it's hard when you like a girl, but you gotta let her chase you a bit and not get too invested till you know it's real. Deep breaths man, you got this!

[Asker]

That second girl never did reply back and I don't really feel bothered by it to be honest. Which I'll take as a good sign! However with this first girl things are going great... I think. Today she blew up my phone with like 5-6 snaps, but I couldn't reply because I was busy volunteering. So when I texted her I apologized and replied to her snaps. She used emojis like 😈 when I said she looked like a whole meal instead of a snack and 😜 when she called me a weirdo. I know you said to compliment her less, but I don't know how else to reply to her snaps? Again, I think things are going great though!

[Oliverlogan263]

Sounds like things are heating up with that first girl for sure! Using flirty emojis like that is usually a good sign she's into it. As for the compliments, a little bit is cool but don't overdo it. When she sends snaps just commenting on what she's doing or teasing her lightly is usually better than heavy compliments right away.

Like if she's eating in a snap you could say something like "leave some for the rest of us!" with a laughing emoji instead of calling her a whole meal right off the bat. Take your time building the tension before dropping big compliments. And def keep replying a little slower than she sends so you stay in the driver's seat.

It's cool that volunteering kept you busy too, shows your independent. Keep giving her your undivided attention when you do chat so she feels special, but stay mysterious the rest of the time. Sounds like you got her hooked man, just keep it flirty and fun! As long as you stay relaxed and confident I think it's gonna keep going great. Go get her tiger!

[2_beHappy]

She made it out clear that she only want you two to be friends.(Flirty friends, whatever). I suggest you to move on.

[IslaTheWitch]

She wants fun not a date...

[HateyouxD]

No you don't have a chance