Won't take me on dates?

Question

What does it mean if a guy says he really likes me, and wants a relationship, but won't even take me out to dinner or a movie, even when he has the money?

Konvicts · Accepted Answer

Some guys don't like to blow any money whatsoever on dates. Dinner and a movie aren't really necessary to show affection for one another, but I understand on why girls want things like that. As others suggested, you should attempt to pay 50/50 of the date. Maybe that will make him more comfortable.

Theres always alternatives to spending cash on a date. You could just sit and relax at home enjoying a movie on t.v. or from a rental place. You could even just cook dinner at home, light up some candles,set up the tables and voila. Picnics or walks in the park are also good and your nights could end by getting cozy by a fireplace or looking up at the stars in the sky.

It could also be something else, maybe this guy is embarrassed of taking you out to public places. Do you ever go to public places with him? Does he hold your hand or tell you his feelings for you? He could also have insecurity and low self esteem. Bad experiences with dates could cause him to be more shy towards dates.

I suggest you have a talk with him and really ask him why he rather spend nights at home over taking you out on a date. Try and find out a deeper answer rather than " I prefer we just stay home". If that don't work, then you have to ask yourself this. Do I really want a guy who doesn't take me out on dates or show his love for me? Theres plenty of other guys willing to take you out on a date and love you, and if that's what you want, then this guy doesn't fit your needs.

Evilbegining · Accepted Answer

He might be afraid of taking you out and making himself look bad or choosing a poor restaurant for your tastes etc.

If he has the money he might be holding back for some other reason, maybe he's afraid to ask you? How do you know he doesn't want to take you out to these things? Has he said he doesn't want to or made it seem like he doesn't want to go on a date where he will have to spend money?

Sorry its allot of questions and not allot of help but we need a bit more info to give you educated help =/

April · Accepted Answer

Have you offered to take him out or offered to split the costs? Guys aren't made out of money so I think it's considerate to at least offer to pay half. I don't know, it sounds like he may be trying to save money or have bills to pay. Maybe he's so comfortable with you he doesn't feel like he should have to woo you?

Bring some groceries over and cook together, go out for ice cream or go for a walk in the park. I think if he doesn't want to do the simple things with you then there's probably something else up, but I wouldn't totally give up on him just yet...

ALWAYSclassy · Accepted Answer

EXCUSES, EXCUSES.

If a guy likes you, going to the movies is nothing to him. He should ASK you on a date. If he doesn't, it's all BS and he doesn't like you as much as he says. If he says it's a "waste of money" he's really saying he doesn't value you enough to spend what, $30 on a night out? You don't need him.

greta17 · Accepted Answer

I have advice, don't ever pay for him. Either you split up the money or he pays. I'm not being too traditional I hope, but wouldn't you feel weird after the date. I had a friend who would ask the guy to go out and she'd always pay for him. Guess what? He left her just after couple months of dating.

roten27 · Answer

You are young...is it safe for me to assume he is around the same age?  If he is then I would beg to offer that it could just be that the two of you are not compatible in that sense.  He may enjoy being at home relaxing and you are the type of person that's likes going out.  He may also be to young to realize that He does need to take you out from time to time.  I know when I was younger, late teens to early 20's,  I did not take girls out but I have grown to realize that it is not only good for the relationship to go out from time to time,  but good for myself as well.

johnsmith2116 · Answer

It could mean that he either sees it as too much trouble, or he just doesn't have the confidence to go out.

Deeplove55 · Answer

Like Dr. Phil says, "He's just not that into you."  Deal with it and move on.  No one knows why guys or people in general say things and do the opposite.  Guys are confusing like that.