Why won’t my fiancé take me out on dates anymore?

[Anonymous]

we have been together for 10 years, we used to go out on dates and go on adventures now we don’t do anything. if we do hangout it’s at each others houses and that’s it. i keep asking him why we don’t do anything and he never gives me a solid answer and it makes me upset. i know i’m dumb as well for staying at home and not making plans with my friends, but he was my whole world at one point. we haven’t seen each other since last week Friday. i’ll admit, i nag and complain about the same situations for a long long time and nothing changes. earlier today he did tell me that the reason we don’t do anything is because i am hard to deal with. he goes out with his friends to eat but not with me. so now that i know that i am hard to deal with, i am going to go to dinner with my friends or sister and not wait for him anymore. he even told me that he doesn’t care about us anymore so i asked why he is still with me? then i had asked him once again to confirm that he doesn’t care about us anymore and he said why so i can go cheat? i said no, just for confirmation and he wouldn’t tell me. i’m convinced that he said that because he’s upset and annoyed that we are at a standstill in our relationship and we are not moving forward. I don't know what to do.

[MrOracle]

When was the last time that you were truly supportive of him, or offered him your over respect and appreciation? He's told you outright that you aren't supportive and cooperative, and you've admitted to being a nag. All of that will destroy a man's motivation to do anything for you, because you don't genuinely appreciate him, you just expect him to provide.

If you want any hope of salvaging this relationship, the two of you need relationship counseling, and you need to be ready to take accountability for your part. I'm sure he's not blameless either, but you have been using constant negative feedback and are surprised that you haven't gotten a positive outcome. Shocking.

You know how you get positive outcomes? By being positive. By finding things about him to appreciate and respect. That's what makes a man want to give you everything. When you give him nothing but negativity, he wants to give you nothing.

[slatyb]

What to do? You don't sound happy. How long has this been going on? What do you want? Are you happy to go on like this for another 30 years? Because that's going to happen.

[LazerBean]

Because he doesn't want to. He just wants the benefits you have to offer him. The very best case scenario here is that he's not currently cheating, but you're just a placeholder until he finds someone he actually wants to marry. And the worst case scenario, of course, is that he's already cheating.

[iheartwomen]

QUEEN DONT FUMBLE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE OTHER BITCHES JUST INCASE

[KrakenAttackin]

Why is EVERYTHING up to him? Classic female, you want your man to entertain you and all you want to do is show up.

[Asker]

no because i ask him if he wants to go out to eat then tells me that he is tired.

[KrakenAttackin]

You are failing to keep his attention.

[Asker]

yes i know. he told me today that he doesn’t care if we are together or not.

[KrakenAttackin]

He deserves better.

[Asker]

that’s so rude! maybe i deserved someone who has been obsessed with me since day one. not someone who liked girls bikini pictures, who screen shot, who DMed them telling them how hot they are all while we are dating? and just recently decided that i was a good person and to stop doing all that? please. all of our arguments are bc of his past and that drives him crazy but if he didn’t do all that from the start maybe i wouldn’t ask all the time and we would have been better.

[KrakenAttackin]

He is not that into you. Your nagging, bitching, complaining, and gaslighting have driven him away.