Why is it easy to compliment someone you're not interested in?

[DishLady]

I don't know that I'd call it flirting, but it's so easy to say something complimentary to a regular person than to compliment someone you like or are waiting to figure out.

For example, I was standing around waiting for something and a guy wearing a sweater with a giant knit "A" sweater came up to me. So I asked, "Does 'A' stand for Awesome or are you a Nathaniel Hawthorne fan?" We started talking and chuckling while waiting in line, he asked for my number, blah blah.

I know that if I'd liked the guy I would probably have just made the Scarlet Letter reference in a cute way and a ~60% chance of his getting my number or asking to connect on some app...

And the wrong guy will call... and the right guy won't... (though arguably a grown man wearing a knit sweater with a giant A on it isn't the right guy no matter how you splice things).

[HawkPerception]

Very simply put, because it makes me feel good to make others feel good. It's for my own selfish desire. Knowing that I can bring someone's day up the same way I'd appreciate it just makes me feel good.

I was out one day and I complimented many people. I told a lady at the groceries that I loved her dress as I was walking by. I told a guy I was waiting in line with that he had some really nice coloured eyes (and I made it clear I don't swing that way beforehand). I told a lady in customer service that she was incredibly friendly and pleasant to talk to. It was a breath of fresh air. And I told another lady in customer service that she was an excellent communicator and it was impressive how she was able to read me so well and finish my thoughts just by what seemed her looking at me. And that was all in one day. I didn't ask for any of the ladies numbers. I wasn't there for that. I just think it's best to give a compliment if you see something to compliment and not keep everything to yourself if it's positive.

[ohsheeT]

Because you're realyou don't have to walk around being fake, you're yourself, and if you see something, you don't have a Hidden Agenda, you just say it. And that's a beautiful thing like

I am\n The exact same way, and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I'm not trying to pick up on the person. I'm not trying to kiss somebody's ass i'm saying. What i want to say first of all, because nobody else is going to say it and I want that person to know whatever it is. I want to tell them

And most people that know me know that I speak my mind anyway

[DishLady]

Technically either way I'm not being fake -- I don't have a capacity for that. Just somehow I come off as a little more reserved if I like the guy. Defense mechanism from being hurt in the past? I don't know.

[ohsheeT]

I would say your right. When you have felt that pain before. You realize that there was no reason for it. So we learn from that. And there will come a moment where we can be cold or we can just be real and be ourselves and be nice , because that's what life's all about anyway or supposed to be what you're saying

[Noredcarpet]

My guess is you are more vulnerable in a way you are not if it is someone you have chemistry with. I have always been sensitive, shy to those I do, but friendly like you would be a brother or colleague to those I don't. I will change over time as the relationship proceed.

[queenofcardio]

There's less pressure to impress someone you're not interested in. I can be myself and not overthink about what I am going to say. I can enjoy the silly conversation without caring if he might like me too.

[imnoangel90]

Because your not invested in the outcome. Its like making small talk with people in line to a movie or concert show. Acting foolish or stoic, doesn't matter cause Ill never see you again and it doesn't matter.

[Spencer10]

I do not think its any easier... if a person deserves a compliment I usually will give it. Positive reinforcement can be very powerful. We need more compliments... real ones anyway.

[MicahRaine]

Why is it easy? Probably because we stand to lose very little.

I think we're often slow to compliment others because we fear that it will be taken the wrong way, whether that means the recipient feeling creeped out or just giving a very cold response.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe he’s an Alabama fan!

[OlderAndWiser]

The ease or unease comes from the potential consequences.

[LiamS95]

Probably because you're more interested in them then you're willing to admit.

[guesswhereivebeen]

Because you don’t really care if it works or not I guess

[serious]

I don't think that is true. I mean complimenting someone who you don't know very well.

[Staximus]

Well if he got the Scarlet Letter reference then he must not be too much of a dumbass

[DishLady]

Correct. But it was just a vague chat as opposed to really flirting (on my end).

[Cidknee]

That's because the devil wants us all miserable. And you know it and that's why.

[DarKnight36]

Many of them throw bait, hoping it will bite.