Is it okay to message my college crush for support after my mom died?

[Anonymous]

I’ve asked others here if it seems like he has a crush on me. This guy I go to college with. He definitely stares at me a lot (like long gazes) even when I didn’t notice him at first but then I do, seems to be near me a lot, he seems to like to say my name a lot in conversation when I’m with him, makes jokes with me, seems to butt in when it seems me and his friend were talking, etc. I kinda do like him but we haven’t really hanged out outside of college. However, my mom just passed away so of course I’m grieving. I want to reach out to him for comfort and support but even though it seems he likes me. I think I’ll scare him off with this since it’s a heavy topic. I’ve talked to some of my other friends and family too. Should I message him? Or would it be too much?

Updates

3 mo

He said he would give me a hug when we see each other again. He also asked me if I’m okay. I told him thank you. He said oh okay. Take care of yourself. What should I say back to him?

[slatyb]

No, that's not appropriate. He's just a crush, not a friend.

[In_Trance]

You're in your mid 30s and still go to college?

[Asker]

Yes
For masters program

[In_Trance]

I don't think it's a good idea that you do this

[Asker]

If I tell him can he comfort me during my time of need?

[In_Trance]

Short-term gain for long-term pain.
He may or may not be able to comfort you and it's a risk.
It's also too much too soon.

[HollyBug]

When you had boyfriend last Time?

[Asker]

5 years ago

[HollyBug]

Did you message yet

[Asker]

Yes he said he would give me a hug when we see each other in person again

[Anonymous]

If you both are friends then do it

[Asker]

We just started to get to know each other in the same school club, but we did meet each other last year. He seems more nicer to me this year. If you were in his position how would you react if I just told you that.

[Opinion Owner]

It depends on how often I was talking to the girl

[Asker]

If it was couple conversations and been seeing each other a lot often for the club activities. He’s even mentioned to me recently hey it seems like we keep bumping into each other

[Opinion Owner]

Then it's fine. Message him. If he really considers you as a friend or more then he will be there for you

[Asker]

Thank you

[Opinion Owner]

No worries. Let me know if you need more help/opinions

[Asker]

What should I say? How should I start it?

[Opinion Owner]

Just be honest. You both are friends afterall

[Asker]

Ok thanks
Like this?
Hey sorry to bother you but is it okay I talk to you for comfort? My mom just passed away

[Opinion Owner]

Correct. Exactly that way