Should I confess my crush to an older senior before he graduates?

[TimidKoi]

I have this crush on a guy at my school (that’s how it always goes, right?). I’ve been thinking about telling him that I like him, and in a casual, non stressful way. It’s in terms that I’m okay if he rejects me or doesn’t reciprocate my feelings; I kind of just wanna take the risk. I don’t expect anything from him at all. It’s an impossible chance that something actually comes of this.

Context: I’m a veryyyyy shy girl, the quiet type, but I can be social. And when most people talk to me it’s almost like we immediately click; I’m approachable per se. This guy I like, let’s call him “Adam,” is well-known but not popular. He’s the put-together type, relaxed, confident, and dependable. Adam’s a senior, and he’s gonna graduate in a little over a month. While I’m a sophomore. Might I say, a 17-year-old sophomore because my parents didn’t have enough money to send me to school and do not want me to skip any grades (even if many teachers in the past have said I could skip 2).

Relationship: I only have a single class with him, and one might say it isn’t even a class because it’s like an elective where we help other students with their assignments. Adam only comes in once a week because he’s a volunteer, while I take it for credit. Basically, we barely even know each other and have probably had at most 5 brief conversations in the entire semester, but I guess he kinda gets nervous when he talks to me.

I’m planning on giving Adam a small sticky note the day of or before his last day that says something like “Hey, you were my crush… Congrats… Goodluck” (something along the lines). Just something to say the main point, no shakespeare love letters or anything. The worst thing I wanna do is overwhelm the guy and make him think I’m weird. I guess I’m saying that I just wanna try confessing to someone for the first time, and to see what happens if I try. Maybe it’ll be a good rejection therapy thing… What are your thoughts/experiences? How would you react?

Updates

3 mo

Additional: We’re tutors and we come to “class” to help students with their assignments—anything related to writing and English. We have little time to talk during class because we’re required not to leave our tables/stations when tutoring students. Appointments usually take from the start to the end of class, if not longer. He’s the only guy in class (out of 5 students) too (except for the teachers), so talking to him with the other girls there would make me seem like a “pick me”

[StevenMcGarrett]

Hmm, try flirting. It sounds like you are too shy to go with the direct approach. When I was in school, girls would come up with an excuse to get your phone number or hang out. Something like this class is hard, can you help me study? Or maybe I've got a question about this class can I get your number so we can talk later? The really bold girls would make some excuse to come to their house (homework help, computer problem, put up a shelf, whatever) and then dress extra sexy and say something sweet like you are my crush and go for a kiss. Try one of those depending on your style and what would think would work for you. Good luck.

[TimidKoi]

You are definitely right about that, I am too shy. Funny story, I actually did try to talk to him yesterday, but it was near impossible when we’re in a professional environment. I was told I could choose another tutor in class to observe (see how they tutor other students), and obviously I chose him. I even dressed up really nice, curled my hair, and put on some nice perfume. I notice I made him voice crack a couple times while he was talking to the students and making eye contact with him (he was not voice cracking before I got there). I was only there to watch and not interrupt because he was helping the students prepare for an ACT exam. After all was said and done, I spoke up and said he looked nice. Then we both left. That was it really. Can’t really make up excuses when we can’t talk much during class 😔

[StevenMcGarrett]

Hmm, that is a good start. I don't think you can read too much into his voice cracking though. But you fed him some bread crumbs, so give him some more. Think of an excuse to get his number or hang out with him or get coffee after class/school.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Also, good that you can't talk to much in class. So say something like I know we can't talk to much in class but I have to ask you something later, give me your number so I can ask you.

[TimidKoi]

That is actually so smart! The last step is to muster up the courage to actually do so. I thought about this for a minute because I’m not very good with confrontational stuff, but say I do this next week (I’ll explain the plan in the next sentences), do you think it’ll be fine? Plan: Give him a sticky note that says something like “Hey I think you’re… and stuff… Wanna get to know you… here’s my number :)” at the end of class next week. Then if he chooses to reply, okay, if not, no worries 🤭.

[StevenMcGarrett]

If that is your style that is fine. I think your style would be better to go with the we don't have time to talk in class but I have to talk to you about something, give me your number. Then say something like do you like this movie, I have an extra ticket, do you want to go? Or I know you are really good at computers, I can't get my computer to print (or whatever) can you come over? But feel free to adjust it to you style and level of comfortness. Message me I would love to hear how it turns out.

[bowenw]

Try talking to him as much as you can before the last day of class so you can get to know each other.

[TimidKoi]

I would say it’s kind of difficult to do that because it’s not really a class, it’s more of a “come in and help someone with an essay, presentation, or speech for 45 minutes.” There’s about 5 of us in that “class” and none of us really talk because we tutor people everyday. The tutors in my class are all girls too, he’s the only guy (except for tutor-teachers), I just don’t want to seem too obvious/desperate :(

[bowenw]

Is there somewhere you can run into him outside of class to talk to him, for example when he leaves for the day or in him office?

[TimidKoi]

Not reallyyyy. I’ve only seen him in the cafeteria with his friends a few times. But I always see him during passing period in a common hallway. I could try waving and stuff, but the rush of students would not be very helpful. I appreciate you tho!

[bowenw]

Try waving or whatever you think will get his attention. Do you follow his socials?

[TimidKoi]

I do not :( and I understand how hopeless this is sounding.

[bowenw]

It is not hopeless. Consider following at least one of his socials and see if he follows you back.

[TimidKoi]

How would I go about this? It may seem like I’m stalking him 👀🙈

[bowenw]

That is always the risk. It's better if you can try to get to know him a little bit first.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊
I hope it works out for you with him.

[DryGermanGuy]

If you see him once a week, you should have talked with him once a week, to establish a communication routine and to see where it could be going. And if you don't see this going anywhere, why even tell him at all? Looks like a pointless exercise to me?

[TimidKoi]

That was my plan, but I discovered that we do not have time to talk during “class” because we’re tutors. Basically, we come in with appointments—to work on writing assignments—scheduled by other students and immediately get to work. And those appointments usually take until the end of the class if not a little over, so we’d have to rush to get to other classes. And good question, I’d say this is more like a personal goal of mine where I start small. And if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t, but at least I’m less of a coward than how I’ve always been (trying to be a bit braver and not just waiting for a guy to come say something).

[firenine909]

You’re going to have to otherwise he’ll be gone and you won’t get the opportunity to do it

[Iron_Man]

You better talk to him soon. It’s almost over school

[Tungi]

Yeah why not