Do girls like a direct approach or "get to know you"?

[newzinski]

Hey so there's this girl who I think may be interested in me. She was the one to first intiate conversation about how I did on my midterm and she seems to look at me a bit in math class cause she sits one seat over to me. It seemed like she was trying to come on to me and I tried to make small talk but I feel like I need to make a decisive move? Do girls like it when guys take a more direct approach and say something like "Hey I was wondering if I could take you out sometime" or make small talk and build up. The only problem is that I feel like small talk is hard to initiate and doesn't lead to much and I fear she may be losing some of her interest right now unless I make a move? What should I do?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for all the ideas. The only other question I have is how do break the ice to get to know her more. It seems awkward and weird trying to make small talk so I'm trying to figure out how I can tell if she's interested or not? What do girls usually like men to talk to them about if they're trying to break the ice? Thanks

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I'm pretty much ignorant of when a guy uses the "get to know you" approach. In fact, I felt blindsided when a guy I've known for almost a year suddenly tried something at his apartment the other night. In the entire time that I've known him, he's never even attempted to convey his physical attraction to me once, other than our “date” this past week, which in retrospect was a poorly initiated booty-call on his part, haha. It's probably better if you just flat out ask her to dinner, or even lunch or coffee, so she at least knows where you stand from the start. Otherwise, it's just going to be awkward for both of you if you try to flip the switch from "friendship" to "relationship." And if you do take her out, pay. General rule of thumb: You split the bill with a friend, but you pay for a date.

[Anonymous]

Take a deep breath and exhale. The best approach (if she likes coffee) is to ask her out to coffee so you could get to know her better.

Also small talk is an art in and of itself. Best way to initiate small talk is compliment her on something like her hair, shirt, smile, etc. Also ask her questions about herself. If there is anyway you can secure interest with her it's to ask personal questions and actually listen to what she has to say and provide the right amount of feedback. Just use your common sense and you will be fine.

As for me, I prefer it when a guy asks me out face-to-face and not over email or text. However, only after some build up or maybe even a casual hang out to watch movies or something.

[elizannmansfield]

Get to know her! Does she like certain restaurants or chilling in her room? Is she casual or frank? Things like that define how you ask her. Of course a guy would say to just jump in sink or swim, but a girl will tell you that girls don't like impertinence. Or strangers. Become friends before you officially ask her out. If she's a casual kinda girl, then she'll appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

You need to be sure that she really does like you because if she likes you, there really is no need to beat around the bush and you can ask her straight up if she'd like to go on a date. However, if she sees you as a friend only you may want to hold back on the direct approach! Your first step is to find out if she likes you back! Good lukk :)

[guy532]

If you are absolutely sure she is interested then go for it point blank, if you're not sure casually mention that you're going to get some coffee after class or something like that and tell her she can tag along if she wants...if she says no then move on, if she agrees bring your A game (don't be too forward though), your only goal then is to get her number and make sure she has fun, if it goes well you're in for the clear to asking her out.

[dtaijo174]

Ask her out. #1 mistake I made when I was young was not asking girls out. If she says no, don't let it get you down. At least you know and can stop worrying about it. If you build a friendship with this girl first the fall will be 10 times worse.

Just ask her out

[CindiluvsFriends]

Nah,I like a guy who wants to get to know me. The direct approach is a big turn off and has me running for the hills.

[sportdistant]

even if its a guy you're attracted to or interested? does it just make the guy seem creepy to you? or is it too much pressure?

[guy532]

bs I've heard that plenty of times "The direct approach is a big turn off and has me running for the hills" and then a guy comes along that the girl has only known for a couple of days and she's really interested in him and he goes direct and she lets him advance. Rule of thumb is if the girl is interested it's better to go direct.

[CindiluvsFriends]

Maybe for some girls,but not for me. I just hate it when they come on too strong.

[xTeacup]

If you're interested, being direct is always better.