Why did he stick around after sex?

[Anonymous]

Okay this guy I like at work is 11 years older than me and originally said he didn't want a serious relationship. The weird thing is not only does he text me almost everyday but he has given up a weekend night to me twice (One of them being Christmas Eve and he took me to see a radio synced light show). I can talk to him and tell him almost anything...he tells me quite a bit too. I've also had the chance of meeting his friend that he shares an apartment with and the friend's girlfriend. He shows me pictures of his daughter and when he talks about her to me he sounds so sweet and tender. We have fun and laugh together and he acts the same around me when he's with his friend as he does when we're alone. We've had sex twice and he hasn't gone anywhere. So my question is what is going through his mind? Is this going to stay purely friends with benefits or is there something more there? I'm not quite sure what to think because of how much older than me he is. Any advice here?

[glamphotog]

Sometimes all people want is companionship without having to be committed to a person and becoming burdened with responsibility. As for what that is "going to be". This is something you need to ask him. This is called "the talk".

[Asker]

Doesn't having the talk normally scare guys away though? I don't want to ruin what may or may not be there by having the talk. I was advised to let him bring it up if he ever does that way it won't seem like I'm pressuring him. Basically leaving it up to him.

[Deepthinker25]

all depends on how long ago he said this, and how long this "relationship" has lasted, maybe he's changed his mind, and if it was just friends with benefits, there would probably be more sex

[Asker]

I've known him almost five months and he told me within the first two months that he "Wasn't ready" for a serious relationship. I sometimes kind of get the player vibe from him too...He confuses me. When we are together though I have fun and he tells me all about his family and his daughter. I'm only 19 almost 20, so I'm asking because I want to know if he's just using me for sex or if he's genuinely interested in having anything close to a friendship or possibly even a real relationship.

[Deepthinker25]

hmm, well it seems like you guys already have a good friendship going, I'm not sure about the "relationship" aspect though, if I were you, just ask him straight up

[Asker]

I have to say that one thing that bothers me is that usually after sex he'll quit texting me and talking to me outside of work for awhile, usually anywhere from a couple of days to a week and he jokes around about "pictures" sometimes during texts or he'll even try to snap some with his phone during sex. That's what gives me the "player" vibe. Only guys that are players do stuff like that. So is he just using me for "enjoyment"? Does him ceasing texts mean that he temporarily loses interest?

[Deepthinker25]

as much as Id like to give more advice, the subject of "players" is not my area of expertise sorry :/

[Asker]

Thanks for the help :-)