If White Guys find Black Girls unattractive, why hit on them?

[Anonymous]

So, I have a friend (not a close one) who sought me out to be friends. He's a white guy (1/4 Vietnamese) and is a very charming funny and intelligent guy. I have a boyfriend (though we are going through a rough patch) and don't find this friend particularly attractive. Lately, this friend has been acting strangely towards me, flirting and then sort of being really awkward and I didn't really get his behavior. We've been "bumping" into each other a lot and I started to realize this wasn't coincidence and he was simply waiting to talk to me. We're in college and have Intro to Econ together, and a couple times I've caught him staring and a mutual friend of ours said not so jokingly he had a crush on me. He's very touching, hugs and always seems excited to see me.

When we were partnered for a lab, he spent half the time asking about my boyfriend and how we were doing. Then suddenly he goes "your boyfriend Chad...he's black!?" (because my boyfriend has a traditionally white name) and he asked "is he hotter than I am. Never mind you can't really judge black guys and white guys the same" and then he switched back to talking about the lab. I thought this was strange but its not the only time he said stuff like that but that doesn't make any sense because of all the flirting and stuff.

Also on several occasions this friend has made a couple of ignorant remarks about black people, not racist but kind of him believing stereotypes and what not and more importantly he said (and I quote) when looking at a picture of beyonce "I won't call her ugly but I don't find her attractive because I just don't find any black people attractive. I don't really see one of them as looking any better than the other" Which is a fine opinion, I mean everyone has there preferences. But I thought everyone generally agreed that some people were attractive, for example even if you don't like Latinas you think Jennifer Lopez and Selena Gomez are attractive, Lucy Liu is pretty even if you don't prefer asians. Just like I think its commonly accepted that Zoe Saldana and Banks are attractive. Am I wrong about this? (I don't mean my examples but in general)

Anyway... today he asks me out to dinner and a movie. I thought I misunderstood and he clarified it was a date. I told him I had a heavy workload and maybe another time.

So why ask me out if he doesn't find me attractive, or more specifically finds me unattractive. I don't think I am, obviously but he does and even said so when one of my friends asked him if I looked pretty, he goes "I think she's a great person. But I don't know what an attractive black person looks like"

What does this mean? Your take on the situation? Please be honest and not politically correct! Thanks

[Anonymous]

guy seems pretty in denial of what he likes.

There are still some white people who believe that they aren't suppose to be attracted to black people, or dont' own up to the fact that they are for their reasons. I remember believing white guys didn't like black girls ever way back in middle school and early high school - but I was waaay wrong in thinking that. All I get hit on by are white guys left and right, and it's an honest genuine attraction like he'd have for a white girl - maybe even more as some white men have expressed a more acute preference for black women over others. Depends on the white guy really.

I've heard of something about white guys who come from suburban like areas, where status is a bit more important, denying interest in black women due to older societal standards - heard a statistic that most white business men / doctors / or men of considerable status won't marrry or date black women due to reputation ideals. Not sure how accurate that is, but my best friend went to a predominently white school in a ritzy like white area - I would visit her when she moved out there and had to keep my cool from all the racial oriented, totally ignorant comments some of the white guys would make - which was hastily followed by a, " oh I'm not racist but I just thought that all black girls had fake hair / like watermelon / know how to make friend chicken / good kool - aid." Or obnoxiously threw around the " and " word and then asked me if it offends me lol.

So clueless it was almost cute.

But their actions didn't meet up with how they presented this social / race line sometimes - I went to homecoming with her and got dry humped / complimented by the same guys who said those things a few days prior lol - one of the most ass holish guys I ever met kept prodding at me about this stereotypical thing, did I vote for obama, KKK stuff - and then tried to set his hand in between my legs when we had a split moment alone?

It was only when I went to that type of area though; down in the city where diversity is common and seeing white dudes hangout with several other ethnicities, a lot more of them are completely open with the types of girls they like to date, some even boasting about getting with black girls.

So yea, he seems a bit screwy with what he says and his actions - and an attractive black person just looks like an attractive person. Preference only inteferes with sexual attraction, not overall attraction.

I know because I don't prefer black men, but there are some handsome black men.

[Asker]

Thank you! What a thoughtful answer, everything you said makes sense. I'm still not going to date him but I get it!

[Anonymous]

White guys talk that sh*t because they know most American black girls are not feeling them. We're the only ethnicity in America that is not idolizing them and breaking our necks to date them and this is not good for their ego. Growing up, most black girls did not really f*** with white people in general, or if they did they only had white friends but wouldn't date a white boy, it's just not really socially acceptable. Contrast that to other races of girls who see dating a white guy as a prize. White guys know this and don't like it because they think they're the kings of the world and all minority women should be honored to be with them. Since black women don't follow that program, we must all be ugly ghetto and unattractive.

Clearly that isn't the case but that is what they will pretend to make themselves feel better.

I don't know why you're even giving this guy any attention at all. It's better to date your own race or even be single than to date an ignorant white guy who says derogatory things about your race in your presence. Imma need you to do better.

[cindyhaha]

I don't get it niether, they say that we are literally ugly as sh*t and then stare and speak to us, they are brainwashed like eyes literally glued to the tv, if the media says we are ugly b words , weare, and if other giirls are hot , they are, brainwashed and can't think for themsleves, American white men are like this, I say the same thing.too busy and run away, they literally scare me. Go out with black and European men never an American.

[Kiran04]

Basically, you're an idiot. You've pegged every guy in the world because a few people said they don't like black girls. That is stupid. TWO guys don't represent the entire of the male population on the planet, white or not. You need to rethink your brazen generalizations. You're trying to fight bad stereotypes with bad stereotypes at this point. Do you not see how hypocritical that is? Give yourself a good slap in the face and wake up. Plenty of white guys will drill you like an Alaskan oil rig. If a few won't, then that means those few in particular don't have a thing for black chicks. Not every man in existence.

[Asker]

I'm not sure if you read the comments below but as I've explained, I'm not saying that all white guys aren't attracted to black girls, I wasn't asking about the whole race of white people in general. Just about this one guy in particular: who asked me out even though he claims black women are unattractive. If you'd read the whole question you would have seen that. I'm not trying to dispel any stereotypes at all. That wasn't the point of the question, I think you misunderstood.

[Anonymous]

First of all, who says white guys don't find black girls attractive? Because a couple of people said so? They hardly speak for all of us.

Second, if you were talking about Tyra Banks, she's not attractive. Neither is Jennifer Lopez, and you can throw Angelina Jolie on that list. I don't get why people like them.

Anyway, maybe he's one of those guys that says those backhanded compliments like "You're pretty for a black girl." He says he's attracted to you but claims he doesn't like other black women. Or maybe you're racially ambiguous or something. I couldn't guess beyond that.

[Asker]

I totally understand if you don't find Lopez or Banks attractive, :) I just meant in general even if you don't prefer a race you can admit they're attractive. Thanks your answer makes sense and I wasn't saying ALL white guys just like white girls...but I needed a shorter title. Sorry if I offended you.

[Opinion Owner]

I wasn't offended. I was just mentioning because I do know that some black women for that way. I just wanted to make that clear.

And yeah I know what you were getting across. lol just taking a jab at your examples.

Are you still with Chad?

[Asker]

sort of we're on a break not broken up. lol

[Opinion Owner]

Oh okay. I was wondering why he would ask you out if he knew you had a boyfriend. It would kind of cocky of him.

[Asker]

He's a cocky guy! Which is why I'd still say no even if I didn't not really sorta kinda had a boyfriend.

[pixiestix123]

maybe he is just using you for an experiment or maybe you are not black looking enough for him to be turned off by you

[Asker]

I'm like a medium/dark complexion, walnut sort of. I'm obviously black not air skinned or anything.

[pixiestix123]

well to be honest I just don't know what to tell you. I'm confused actually. so are you going to go out with him and see what it is about. at least you get a free meal and movie out of it. haha

[Asker]

Maybe, I'm sure it would be extremely awkward but I really want to know what he's up to!

[pixiestix123]

then go out with him and then tell me about it because I'm curious now too

[Asker]

will do!

[Anonymous]

wow that's messed up. maybe he's racist and doesn't realize ir or doesn't want to make it obvious he likes you. I can't make any connections because I tend to stay away from whites esp guys since their ignorant comments get on my nerves.

i mostly have Asian guy friends though but they don't ask about attractiveness most I get is about my hair.

[Prof_Don]

Imo this guy is attracted to you but is in denial...prolly because of what his peers (friends, family members) would say about him being interested in a black girl

[honeylover93]

Of u like someone ur family shouldn't be ashamed there color if it looks crazy it isn't I like white guys also

[Prof_Don]

@honeylover93 some family members really care about their family tree having a particular "look"

[honeylover93]

It doesn't matter people are people

[Prof_Don]

@honeylover93 To me and you that's true, unfortunately some people still put WAY too much focus on color and ethnicity. :-/

[G-Daz]

Black girls ate beautiful