My friend is the whole package -looks, smarts, and nice - but guys don't approach her. WTF?

[ya_ya_ask_already]

One of my best friends is one of those whole package girls. She's beautiful, smart, and has a great personality. She's good with kids, she's hardworking, and funny. Basically she what I think would be a man's dream girl.

But it perplexes me! I hear dudes always saying that want a girl who has all of her qualities. YET ... it seems like men don't approach her. She gets approached by a lot of older men or weird guys who approach everyone but she never seems to bait a guy she's interested in or would consider dating. She's currently going to try online dating.

I mean ... WTF? I would think she would have to fight the men off like bees to honey ... but she's got the opposite problem. Why? I'm a little perplexed.

Updates

+1 y

I'm not saying she's Miss universe, but she's really really pretty by everyday standards.

[Lommelun]

Sounds like a great girl. But maybe the boys get a little intimidated since most of us aren't that great ourselves. One thing is to wish for the perfect girl, a completely other thing is to actually to live with the perfect girl - you'd have to be perfect yourself to, to keep up.

Remember that girls statistically have a tendency to trade up with they get the chance. And if the perfect girl end up with a less than perfect guy, and then suddenly meet mr Perfect, it is not uncommon that she dumps the old one for the new and better one.

(Guys do that to, but we trade more for a younger, prettier model. Not necessarily a smarter, more practical, better at most things model.)

[cavmanier]

Like Shazam said I bet if she put herself in social situations where she was interacting with guys it would make a big difference, this is how I found I've meet girls in the past. It can be awkward approaching women in everyday situations. I bet she will get a lot of interest if she tries online dating; I hear attractive women get a lot of attention although I bet most of the attention she won't want. The way you describe her she sounds great.

[Shazam]

Very attractive guys intimidate me, I'm not sure why. This can be one of the issues for her.

Maybe she's not being social enough, not creating opportunities to get close with someone? She could do the approaching herself.

[CrystalMinds]

Maybe because the guys feel like she's "hard to get", that when they approach her they won't be good enough and that scares them to go up and talk to her... I think.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

Is she shy? doesn't flirt? doesn't go out much? how does she dress?

[ya_ya_ask_already]

Ya she's pretty shy. She doesn't talk that much too new people. She goes out some, but she's a graduate student so she is busy most nights. She dresses normal. A lot of jeans. Not a lot of makeup.

[martyfellow]

Maybe guys have been burned too often by women who start bidding wars about themselves...they assume this will happen with her too. A lot of this going around with atttractive ands smart women these days.

[Jbgurl20]

Maybe they are just too afraid to approach her because they think they are not perfect like her, but then no body is perfect so guys don't miss a girl like that, go for her, she's definitely a good catch.

[blake88]

hmm she sounds great to me. Does she make herself approachable?

[ya_ya_ask_already]

She seems friendly, but she doesn't go out of her way to talk to people either.

[blake88]

Maybe she should try initiating the conversations? Being really pretty can scare guys from trying to approach her. She sounds shy which isn't a bad thing, but we can't read minds, we don't know they are shy. Its just hard to approach a shy girl because they are always with a group of friends, avoiding eye contact, keeping headphones in, etc.

[Edward-j]

It's possible that the guys you're around don't understand the value of a personality. I love it when a girl is intelligent. My girlfriend is gorgeous, smart, and talented. I went for that over another girl who just wanted to screw all the time who had a crap personality and wasn't particularly intelligent.

Perhaps your friend is in fact intimidating to guys because she is such a catch. They don't approach her because they are too nervous. Can't say it's never happened to me before.

[Jager66]

contrary to popular female belief's men are not simply mindless woman chasing robot machines.

[ya_ya_ask_already]

Haha ... I believe it. That's why it perplexes me that she isn't getting chased.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, this is what girls need to learn (but apparently some of you still haven't learned it or don't believe it)

Being good looking is not enough.

You have to know how to attract a guy.

The good looking girls who don't know how to do this, like to comfort themselves by saying they are too intimidating for guys.

But that's not much comfort when they see girls less attractive with boyfriends. (Those girls know how to attract a guy.)

[beastman88]

maybe men are intimidated by her success. don't feel they are equal to her so don't even bother trying. also the way she carries herself, if she seems approachable or not.

[Anonymous]

Probably fishing in the wrong waters.

There's no single quality that will appeal to every guy. That wouldn't be fair if that were the case. It's also hard to believe that someone has the full package, so most guys aren't exactly going out of their way to find that.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Well...what does she look like? Physically describe her?

[ya_ya_ask_already]

She's physically pretty and everyone I knows agrees on this. I don't need to go into too much detail.

[Xx_DRE_xX]

Well then guys are probably intimidated or think she's already in a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would more inclined to get to know a girl who is attractive and outgoing than a girl who is attractive and shy. In fact, if she is the latter I would probably think that she is stuck up because like you said she doesn't keep up conversations with strangers well. I believe that if she was more down-to-earth this would take off some of the initial shock of her attractiveness and put her in the playing field you believe she deserves to be in.

[phonezoo]

We think she's already taken--most of the time, we're right

[Tigurinn2]

I agree

[Anonymous]

probably because she's not as pretty as you think she is.