Was this a one night stand or what?

[Anonymous]

so I've liked this guy for about a month now and we work in the same mall, but different stores. we've talked all the time during our cig breaks and such, and I finally got the nerves to ask him over to hang out with me and a friend. I had no other meanings but to seriously watch some movies and drink. he came over and we all got drunk, we ended up in bed together. after the first time, we were sobered up and by this time my friend had left to leave us be. my neighbor came over to steal a beer and he held my hand in front of her and and we were sitting next to each other. when she went to the bathroom he kissed me and went up my shirt and stopped when she came back out. she left and then we did it again sober this time. he spent the night and we were cuddling all night. I had to be at work the next day at 10 and he had to be there at 12, so I just left and put the key on his phone so he could lock up. he brought the key back to my work and plopped it down in front of a bunch of customers and my employees and said "thanks, I'll see you later" and winked. that night we texted for like 2 hours laughing about the last night and saying it wasn't our intentions for that to happen and it wasn't either of our faults. and then I invited him over the next day to watch a movie with me and my kid (which he has already met and likes and knows about. he has a kid too, so it's not a big deal about it). he said maybe that he had to work 330 to 7 that night and I said cool, just let me know tomorrow. well no text or anything the next day. I texted him around 750 asking if he was coming by and no text or anything back. today I went up to the mall to get a coffee and was smoking a cig and he came out and asked why I was there, I told him I was bring my friend's jacket back cause she left it at my house and I was waiting on her to get into work (which was a lie, but I was holding a jacket, lol). well I asked if he found his phone charger (which he told me he had lost) and he said yes, then it was quiet. so I asked how was work going he said it was steady, but pretty slow, blah blah. then my kid showed him her shoes that had the characters from the movie we were supposed to watch the night before that he didn't show up to and she I want to watch my movie, so I said OK we can watch it when we get home and he said nothing about not showing up. then he left to go back to work. well I was curious as to what was going on so I texted him saying "hey is everything cool between us? I don't want any awkwardsness between us because of Friday night. let me know if you want to hang out again this week or whatnot." that was sent about 445 today and I still have no response. I don't know if he's still working, but I'm worried that Friday night was all that its every going to be. does this sound like a one night stand or could there be more or just friends. I'm going crazy over here cause I really like this guy. I'm 25 and he's 30 if that helps.

[coolbeans01]

Yup that's a one night stand. Clearly by him not responding shows that he doesn't care for you enough to even respond to your messages, even when you're just trying to see what's going on. I would suggest not texting him and not giving him the time of day, the casual hello or how's it going when you see him at work but nothing more. I wouldn't be surprised if you get a text from him again after a few days or weeks of not texting him and I would guarentee that those texts will be about hanging out and "watching a movie" and that'll just show you he wants sex.

[Asker]

it totally sucks cause I didn't want to let it get to that cause I wanted to get to know him. blah. I had one guy friend tell me when I see him at work a day or two from now I should invite him over to hang out and talk to see what he says to my face. should I do that or just leave it be? me and my friend were going to invite him to go out Wednesday. should I get her to invite him to come with the both of us and see what he tells her?

[coolbeans01]

Hmm yea well if you were going to talk about anything talk about it in person, don't do it over text. Honestly you can try to invite him out again but just don't be surprised if he doesn't respond. If you want to invite him out then do it when you see him that way you'll get a response. If he comes out then go with the flow of that but if he says he can't then don't try anything else.

[Asker]

ok, thank you, I think I'll ask him to go out with us Wednesday if I see him at work. that way like you said I'll get a response. then after that if he doesn't or says no thanks I should just leave it alone right? I just like this guy and want to make up for it cause I didn't mean for it to turn out like this. I'm don't look retarded do I to a guy right? is everything that has happened between us not making me look bad is it? from a guy's point of view.

[coolbeans01]

yea if he doesn't come out or makes an excuse or anything just leave it alone and like I said talk to him like when you see him at work but don't go out of your way, clearly he's not responding to texts or going out of his way to talk to you so you shouldn't either. Its not making you look bad, so guys will just see it like "hey we had sex when she invited me over, that didn't take much so maybe if I try it again I can make a regular thing of this"...i.e. if you do hang out and he tries to...

[coolbeans01]

have sex with you agin then its obvious that's all he wants. For some guys, and girls as well, that kind of gives them a bond and gets the sexual awkwardness out of the way so they could act normal and flirt without feeling like they are doing it awkwardly and it just helps them to get to know each other more. Obvious its normal to want to get to know another person even if you did have sex the first time but everyone is different and to be honest he's not acting like a the type of guy you'd want

[Asker]

thank you. we'll see how it goes. lets hope I see him at work tomorrow or Wednesday.

[coolbeans01]

good luck

[snapkingmatt]

Well, you both said this wasn't your intention. So did he, right? And it seems like you're the only one pursuing this to be more. That's why I think it was a one night stand, at least from his side.

[Lonelygirl222]

sounds like a one night stand to me..

[Asker]

can you explain why you think this?

[Lonelygirl222]

Well he came over ya'll got drunk and hooked up. He might not have said it but I'm sure he has thought of sleeping with you before he's a guy. Next it seems like he's avoiding you a little, the fact that he 30 years old and can text you back is a little immature. Sounds like he just wanted get some and he did so he feel he doesn't need to talk to you anymore, he got what he wanted.. I'm not a guy but that's what it sounds like to me.. hope this is explained better :)

[Asker]

thank you, that's what I was worried about. I really liked this guy and it seems like I f***ed up. do you think I should text him again or should I say something to his face or just leave it be and act like nothing happened. cause I do remember telling him I was interested in him that night before we had sex. lol. I just feel stupid that I let it get like this, lol

[Lonelygirl222]

I wouldn't text him anymore, he has your number, knows where you work, and live(lol). It sucks that you like him so much, but just think about this.. he's already messed up and ya'll are not even serious yet. So maybe this is a sign telling you this guy isn't good for you! Don't be sad about it just take it as a lesson learned!

[Asker]

thank you. it just sucks that I invite him over to get to know him better in hopes that we could date or something and we have drunken sex and now this situation. lol, it was so not what I wanted to happen. hhaha