She turned me down, but is still texting quite a bit. Confused.

[Shyscot]

I like this woman friend I have very much. I have had feelings for her for a while and have been forward as I can without actually saying that I'm crazy about her. She is a quiet person who is evidently quite slow at getting to trust people so I asked her out for a coffee over the Chismas period and she turned me own saying she was busy, but without suggesting alternatives etc. I took this to mean that she wasn't interested and was letting me down gently (she is a really decent person).

I resigned myself to the situation and decided to move on but she has been texting me quite a bit since. Some of the texts have been reasonably personal as well , by our standards ( we are both introverted/private people) .

I've been careful not to change my behavior towards he so I don't make things awkward between us, and I'm confident I have one that successfully. Now I'm confused as to whether she actually does like me and panicked a bit when I asked her out (it's been a while since she was in a relationship) or whether she is just tying to be friendly ahead of us seeing each other again next week.

Thoughts?

[hunibee]

Hmmm...well you are right usually a person would suggest maybe next time or another day...but if she is not dating savvy maybe she did get nervous and uncomfortable, especially if she had no idea that you were going to ask her. You should have suggested at that time to let you know a day that would work better for her...but the past is the past. I would definitely ask her out again and make it very casual. Ask her for coffee again or to go and do something that you have in common together. Is there a place that you have both mentioned you want to visit or something you both wanted to do. She is staying in contact with you so that is very encouraging. If she says she is busy the next time just ask her if she would like to do it another time :) Then you will know

[natoosh94]

She think she's annoying you and you think you are annoying her , Admit it ! Don't you feel this way ?

I think maybe she likes you , maybe as friends maybe as more , but you wouldn't know that now , cause if she is still texting you that means that she don't wanna lose you either way it is a good thing .

And PLEASE do not change your behavior with her , just show her that you want to talk to her more than anything in this world and that you are having fun talking to her , and to make her trust you , you should trust her by telling her personal things , that you don't just tell anyone :)

& That's all :)

[Shyscot]

I have to give you kudos for one thing. I don't know how she feels (obviously!) but I feel like I'm a stalker or something! Very uncomfortable feeling. Thanks for a good answer.

[natoosh94]

I know exactly what are you talking about , I hope everything is okay now :) : )

[Shyscot]

Aye it will be. She's gone back to being a bit distant again. I probably shouldn't be thinking about another relationship just now so I'm just going to let it go. Thanks anyway for your wise words!

[NoOneListens21]

I love this song. sorry. hahahahah. anyways! point is...it could be either one. You just have to talk to her about it. Yes, talk. XD I know...not really what guys like to do but! it's usually a good thing. Especially when you want to know how another person is feeling. ^_^ If she is shy and all this is true then maybe she did get taken off guard about it...Perhaps she wanted you to ask again..or didn't ink anything of it..and she was really busy. so - maybe ask her how she feels about you or if she'd like to go out on a date with you. so hope it helps

^_^

[shiller]

To be honest the Christmas period is quite hetic. Why don't you find out if a show or artist she likes is around you. If so you could invite her to that.

[TangerineFire1]

Let see she turned you down at Christmas. That to me is a good sign. Christmas is a crazy time for people and getting involved with someone during the holidays can be up lifting but when the holidays are over the excitement is over and you have this new relationship, and where is it going. Now is the time to begin a new relationship. Seem this lady friend is smart and level headed in wanting to start getting to know you better after the hoopla. Good luck and have a wonderful time. Be yourself and all will be wonderful. Oh, one more thing, she likes you. :-)

[Lunaipse]

Hey, she definitely does like you. I also have a lot of trust issues and am quite careful when getting to know men because of my past- I know you're crazy about her but take it slow. I'm really quiet too and it takes me a good fair while to build up the courage to meet someone due to lack of trust in men,this is why she turned you down. She is interested as she texts quite abit, I know if I'm not interested in a man, I wouldn't text him much! Slowly build trust with her, she will want to see you in her own time. She does like you :)

[graegirl]

Be cute with her. Bute is never over rated. ask her on a text date - she can feel your genuine and realize where your mind is at.

Text date means you say something along the lines of - "I wanted to ask you out so I decided on a picnic. So imagine you and I are sitting on a rug at the park and I have brought food and such. Are you going to sit on my rug?"

Shes gonna say yes. Then ask her what she'd like to drink and proceed asking date type questions. if she is shy its a great way to get to know you without the face to face awkward scary moments and she can trust you.

at the end ask her if one day shed like to do it in real life soon or is she available for another text date next week that way even if she isn't sure you can do it again until she is.

Good luck.

[NurseMel]

I think you need to move away frm texting and have actual phone converastions or face to face conversations. You can't read a person's body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc through texting and those things can tell you a lot about what a person is really thinking/feeling and what their true reaction is when you say something-you can't get that through texting. Relationship texting is for teenagers. Mature adults need to be more personal.

[courtney06]

Sounds like she likes you otherwise she wouldn't give you that much time of day. If I wasn't attracted to a guy I wouldn't keep texting him or text him first. It's possible she was into someone else when you asked her out and then realized he's not her type.

[britannny]

Well, if she's texting you "quite a bit" she probably likes you. It wouldn't hurt to ask her out one more time. If she turns you down this time, and doesn't suggest going out a different day, then just give up.

[standswithafist]

It sounds good, actually. She was probably busy. It might not have occurred to her to provide an immediate alternative. The idea of a date is quite formal these days. The texts are good, sounds like she wants to get to know you better. I say ask her out again, unless she's a co-worker, your student or any other person subject to your authority, that is. ;)

[harveykinkle]

While you were buying time and getting to know her she thought was a friendship. She wants to keep it.

[mashura]

Well she has trust issues so its not surprising she turned you down. Probably weighing the pros and cons.

[prittyprincess]

the worst that can happened is that she will turn you down again so if I were you I would go for it! :)

[Alextricity]

Playing with you. Ignore the bitch.