My crush has a boyfriend. (I'm her old crush)

[Anonobow]

I feel so... sick. The girl of my dreams gave up on me and got a boyfriend right away. I guess she got tired of waiting for me to make my move. I was too anxious. She's over me now. I tried to get over her too all summer. Till school started, I've seen her again. It's almost impossible for me to stop thinking about her. I know I've probably been boosting her ego lately (Maybe that's what she is using me for). Every time I see her in the hallway at school, when she sees me I sense that she hate seeing me. She avoids me. I pretend that I'm not interested in her anymore, but I think she knows I want her back. I've been so damn depressed and people notice it. I can't find anyone to replace her. My standards getting higher . I've been thinking everyday, and researching. I really can't be happy for her for being in a relationship with another guy. (How does that even workout anyway? How can you deal with that?) I can't just be friends with someone I really like. It will kill me inside. She seems happy in a relationship with her boyfriend on Facebook. I wouldn't want to steal her away from him. Sometimes I think I probably have to. Her friends even see me in the hallways and they look like they're feeling sorry for me. I get crazy thoughts been in my head (like, so they've been together for 8 months so they've probably.. done "it" by now.) I get so angry and anxious after those thoughts. The pictures in my head are sick! I think I don't have that chance with her anymore. She had a crush on me. And I blew it because of anxiety disorders messing up my life. I try not to see her again but, she keeps popping up, she probably thinking I'm stalking her. There's a lot of girls trying to get with me now but, I'm not interested. I just want that "one". I'm 17. I never felt this strong about a girl in my life before. It's so different and real now. I can't even imagine me being like this for someone else. I'd marry her. Me & her the same age. Her boyfriend just graduated, I never met him. I hope I don't. I might just lose my mind if I see him. There's so much I have to say, I'll just end it here.

[Anonymous]

Your obsessing over this girl now, because she's *safe*.

You're obviously not going to pursue her, or ask her out. So your social anxiety doesn't get to kick in. You can fantasise all these crazy things, and build her up in your mind into this perfect girl. And you'll never have to deal with the reality - that she's not all that, and that she isn't this perfect girl for you.

Meanwhile, perfectly good girls who are in fact just as good as her, and who might be showing you interest - well, you're ignoring them.

You think you're ignoring them because you're so in love with this other girl. But that's not actually true.

You're ignoring them, because they are real, and represent the chance to ask a girl out (and possibly be rejected). And your social anxiety is not going to let you confront that.

The best advice anyone could give you right now, is to fight the anxiety, and make a move on thes other girls you say "There's a lot of girls trying to get with me now"

Stop and think for a second - because your first instinct is going to immediately be "But I don't want those other girls"

That's your fear and anxiety talking, just in a different voice.

If you *genuinely* weren't speaking from fear, you could prove it by asking one of those girls out, and just going on a few casual dates and then after two or three dates simply tell her you're not feeling it, and break up.

But I suspect you're seriously avoiding the possibility of other relationships because you haven't dealt with the root cause - your fear and social anxiety issues.

If it would help convince you to try, I'd suggest that if you're seen to date other girls and have a good time with them, then it will go a long way to prevent your crush from thinking of you as a stalker. And it might make her find you more attractive. Women are often more attracted to a guy who is liked by other girls, rather than a single obsessive loner who doesn't date.

[scorch]

Look man move on, I know it hurts. It's damaging you pretty bad bro. You more than likely have a another girl wanting to go out with you. You are to focused on your ex to even realize it. 8 months is a long time my man. Your obsessed with turning kind of stalkish. Her friends are not looking at you as feeling sorry, this long and its pathetic your still this way over her. Look forget her find a another girl. Just forget her move on with your life man. Get involved with community activities I know I'm crazy you'll meet a girl at one of those. Your probably a gamer but trust me if your waiting for a gamer girl. Most time their taken or lesbians you'll have turn one to get one. I know the woman I wanted to date I made her in to a gamer. I don't want to date her now., she turn in to a big fat world of warcraft chick. I mean loike 400 lbs anyway good luck man

[Always_Second_Best]

first off, take deep breath. Just because they've been together for a while does not mean they've had sex. Some people can be friends and happy for the person because they value the person over themselves and what they want. I know you think it'll kill you but it's really for the best. He's graduated and I'm guessing you're a junior or a senior. They are not going to get married. They will break up sooner or later. Just be there for her AS A FRIEND when that happens. She liked you once so you'll always have a special more than friends place in her heart. She can like you again. The game is not over. If you ever meet him, be polite. had a guy friend who fought a lot with my ex boyfriend when we were together, It just made me uncomfortable and hurt all three of us. Talk to her every day and show her how awesome you are. Be friends. This other guy at my school tried to talk to me a lot when I had a boyfriend last year. I didn't think of him that way so I didn't really pay attention. But my relationship went sour over the summer and when school restarted, the guy I had barely noticed the year before became my everything. I was chasing him and we dated briefly and are still friends now. So be friends. Girls want a guy they know well more than they want some random guy who's liked them forever. The more you talk and laugh together, the better shot you've got. It is possible for a girl to develop feelings for someone else while they are dating. Make sure you don't get too too far into the friend zone. Be her friend but if she friend zones you make sure she knows you still like her. Be yourself and don't worry. Things have a way of working out for the best. Good luck! Message me how it goes.

[angela4266]

I love this reply. This helped me too

[britannny]

High school kids can be like that sometimes. They want one person one minute, and the next day, they're interested in someone else.

You're only 17 years old. This isn't the end of the world. How many happily married couples that have been together for years and years do you know that met at age 17? Probably not very many. Just about everyone gets their heart broken at some point. And then they get over it and find someone else. Most people don't find "the one" when they're in high school.

It'll be ok.