How to deal with constant rejection from women?

[serp777]

So I've asked out about 20 women in my lifetime, and I've made out with at least 50 women at various college parties, but I've always been rejected from sex and or dating. About 1/10 women do say yes to the first date, but then after that they just stop responding to texts (I always give women space so I send a max of two texts). Getting any sort of sexuality beyond kissing is like trying to climb mount everest with a 500 pound backpack; an impossible feat. I've tried adjusting my standards from combinations in between really hot girls with a good personality to ugly girls with a bad personality. I rarely go for any girls I like anymore because of how disappointed I always am; I only go for the ones that give any sort of indicator of interest. None of them have worked out and it sounds lame, but it's depressing as sh*t. I feel like an insane person metaphorically bashing my head against an unbreakable wall. I'm just wondering how I can deal with these sh*tty feelings all the time, and still maintain a positive, progressive, and goal oriented viewpoint towards becoming a more desirable man for women. Imagining being alone forever makes me feel suicidal, but I'm young and so I realize there is plenty of time. I've been on antidepressants before, but I definitely don't want to start again. Please give me advice

[wanderer83]

Try not to appear too eager. Girls like mystery cause they want to figure out a guy. Don't worry too much about rejection. It happens to everybody. But when a girl says no, it means no.

You don't need ti climb any huge mountains metaphorically just to be with a woman or to have sex with them. Just be the different more nice guy who doesn't give a f*** about getting laid or not. Sex, kissing and any kind of intimacy should never be forced. It should come as a natural thing like a lot if things. Don't let you seeking to have a woman be your only source of happiness. Getting your hopes up on anything will only leave you disappointed most of the time.

Until you are completely serious with a woman or married, that's when you have to try a little bit more. Just enjoy life being yourself and improving yourself for what you want to make better and keep your options with women open. Then you will be content with yourself and things will all fall into place for you. ;)

[serp777]

I don't force it at all. I'm not some creepy rapist stalker.

[wanderer83]

Never said that. I just know that it can come across that way at times. Just trying to give you a little insight and some words of wisdom. I wish you well

[Gawesome]

If you've been rejected that much, you're probably doing something wrong or maybe it's your personality/attitude. Maybe you gave off the impression that you're only in it for sex. Or maybe you got a bad rep at college for just making out with every drunk girl you meet at parties and attempted to sleep with every one of them. I don't know what the problem is...you spent more time blaming women than focus on yourself.

Try this: improve yourself before going for the next girl that you see or want to make out with.

[serp777]

I never blamed women at all, and I never even mentioned blame. Try reading what I actually wrote or don't bother responding. I mentioned in the comments below that I believed it could definitely be a problem with myself, I just had no idea what it was.

[Gawesome]

Ok fine..wrong wording. Well why do you think I listed the questions above for you? It's for you to THINK DEEP about it. Actually, nevermind, just read the comments below and it's super simple. You just wanna hookup and sleep with them in the shortest amount of time possible! You just want sex and MOST girls HATE that. No girl wants to be known as easy. Colleges are a small communities and chances are word got out to all girls that you just wanna sleep around. Kiss your reputation good bye!

[justyouraveragegal17]

Evaluate yourself, even ask friends what they think of you being brutally honest. If you come to the conclusion that nothing really is bad when it comes to you and woman like being over explicit, treating them in a way they don't feel comfortable, etc. Then just wait don't down grade tour standards, but don't only go for the "hot" girls. Actually try and find a girl and go slow a girl loves being charmed and tho lots will kiss you without a second thought we like to be woo'd and treated with respect. Find a girl you connect with on a friend level first. Then lead up to the kissing what's the rush

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Based on your comments below it sounds like you hook up with girls at parties and immediately try to 'seal the deal'. As the other guy said, girls don't want to be seen as 'easy'. Slow down a bit. Enjoy the makeout session and focus on those dates.

Just remember that the rejection isn't a reflection on you, necessarily.

[serp777]

Just wondering, how short is too short? My usual attempt would be anywhere from an hour and a half to 3-4 hours.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

That's too short. We are talking days, here. College is great for hook ups, but if your goal is a relationship, you don't try to bang them within 3 hours of meeting them

[Gawesome]

lol agreed. But days? Try weeks if you want a serious relationship if you want to gain her trust and heart. But don't be that a**hole who pretends to be her boyfriend for sex only and then leave her. Then your reputation will be beyond screwed if she's the 'revenge-type'. Like QA found out...college hookups can't guarantee you sex either. lol

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Well yeah, even months. but baby steps..he was trying to seal after a couple of hours.

[drjohno]

"Getting any sort of sexuality beyond kissing is like trying to climb mount everest with a 500 pound backpack; an impossible feat."

Can you be more specific? Why doesn't a make-out session end up in sex? What is your sticking point?

[serp777]

Usually when the make out session gets more intense and passionate, ill be like "lets go back to my place," or "hey lets get out of here", or less frequently "wanna go upstairs?" The girls at that point will say something like "I'm not gonna sleep with you", or "I have to find my friend", or "I only make out with guys", or they'll just sort of end up leaving. Also a good 50% of the time when making out, girls will say something like "I have to go to the bathroom" and then they end up bailing.

[serp777]

I think it's entirely possible that I'm doing something wrong, but I seriously have no idea.

[drjohno]

I think you're being too explicit. Also, when a girl says "We're not having sex tonight" during a heavy make-out, it usually means "I just need an excuse in order to go back to your place". Women want/love sex but don't want the feeling of being "easy". Other times, they just need more arousal in order to beat their rational brain that always says "no". Don't take the rejection literally, be more subtle like offering "a night cup in a quiet and comfortable place with good music".

[Anonymous]

You shouldn't be disappointed. You should just approach more women.

Remember, some women won't like you no matter what, but there are women who will like you no matter what.

[Anonymous]

Just keep getting rejected or change your attitude.