Should I just bite the bullet and tell him I am interested in him?

[Anonymous]

So usually when I like a guy, but I don't want them to know because I know they wouldn't be interested I just avoid them to get over them. I will try to date other men to get over the one I am interested in, and usually it works. It is not working with the man I am currently interested in.

Whats worse is he feels insulted that I was avoiding him. I know he has no interest in dating me, I can tell. But I can tell that it bothered him that I avoided him. I get nervous around men I like as well, so I get tongue tied, so that's another bad thing. I stopped avoiding him once I saw that he was insulted by it. But I still get tongue tied around him, so even though I don't avoid him he sees me talking to everyone else except him. And then I overheard him talking about how he thinks I hate him or something.

I do not want him thinking this. So should I just explain that I am interested in him, and I know he isn't interested back but that's why I was avoiding him, and why I get nervous around him and I do not hate him. I'm just worried he'll get upset that I am interested in him. I am not pretty, so he might be insulted that a girl like me likes him. Who wants an ugly person liking them?

[Anonymous]

girl I wanna hug you right now. I've been through this too and I commend you for being so mature and patient about it! ha ha

but as for me, I lost my patience and went ahead and asked him out. unfortunately he ignored it and shrugged it off and then ignored me days following. I was rejected and it hurt pretty bad not gonna lie. but at the same time I was glad I got it off my chest and could move on now. can you imagine if I kept waiting and seeing him 'flirt' give off mixed signs me keep building this hope and expectation, it wouldn't have been worth it. its best to just take the plunge and do it and get an answer. if not then its their loss.

im fine now. I'm enjoying my new job and meeting new people now. and I look back and think its his loss. cause I was myself with him and gave my best company to him, trying to be his friend but he didn't want to be close so he lost a friend like me. now he can go on and may be wonder if he made a mistake. at least I know I tried.

so its your choice really. do you want an answer or do you want to keep wondering/hoping/getting hurt in the process?

[kangaru]

you are really brave, I wish I have your courage but you did the right thing with the right attitude :)

[Anonymous]

I sort of have a situation at work like this. I'm not sure if this guy wants to date me, I know he likes me, but it hasn't gone further. But one thing I know is he wants my attention. For what reason I'm not exactly sure. But if I do ignore him he finds some way to get my attention. It sounds like this guy also wants your attention. He wants you to like him for sure or he wouldn't be that worried about it to go and tell someone he thinks you hate him.

I would NOT lower my self worth and assume he isn't interested back and tell him that at all. I wouldn't tell him its becuase you like him and get tongue tied around him. Either that will scare him off or think you have little confidence in yourself.

Id just try and start talking to hiim again. Break the ice. Walk by him and say Hi and smile at him., pretend like nothing has happened. I think eventually he will warm up to you. Or you could just go up to him and say "Hey, I'm sorry I've haven't been too social lately, I've got a lot on my mind."

[Asker]

It's a work situation for me too. I had a pretty good day with him today, and we were even texting after work. So that's good. I followed your advice. I'm just going to try and keep thinking of ways to get him to talk to me. :)

[Opinion Owner]

great, I'm glad its working out for you! Just be nice to him, he seems like the real sensitive type that can get his feelings hurt by the insignificant things. You might have to be the one to initiate the convos. If he is texting you then Id say he wants to talk to you.

[kangaru]

Everybody says they are ugly but when I see their pictures or in person I think otherwise. We are our own worst critics, he may not even see you so negatively. And he is annoyed that you kept avoiding him shows he does care for you as a friend. Please gather your courage and tell him once and for all.

I wanted to tell the next guy I like that I like him unless he has a girlfriend then I wont

[Tacoma]

This is a good example of why we all fear rejection. If you don't say anything you won't know if he is interested. If you do he might turn you down. Most people try to be nice when letting someone know they aren't interested in dating. If he makes you feel bad about it you don't need him in your life. And don't put your self down so much I work with a girl that always saying "I know I'm not pretty" but I think she's super hot.

[Asker]

Well it's mainly because we work together. If it weren't for work I'd go for it. I've been rejected in the past, but work makes things a lot more complicated. We see each other six days a week (we work Saturdays) so there is that awkwardness if he isn't interested. But people tell me to my face that I am ugly. It's not something I believe on my own. He's not the kind of guy who would make me feel bad, but that won't stop it from being awkward. That's why I hate workplace crushes. I try not to

[Asker]

go for men I work with, but we spent a lot of time together and I fell for him without meaning to, and the more I tell myself that he's off limits the more I want him. It's a ridiculous and annoying situation that I hate that I put myself in.

[Tacoma]

ok I get the "we work together" part but the "I tell myself that he's off limits the more I want him" I don't. the same girl I work with I think is super hot started dating someone and now we get along better.

[martyfellow]

Why let him go around thinking you hate him? You don't have to confess everything; just tell him you get nervous around him because he's so good looking. He'll get the picture; you don't hae to say any more.

And who knows? He might like you also; just because you aren't considred pretty does't mean he can't like you. Maybe he can see other qualities you have that count for more than looks.

[Asker]

I didn't mean for him to think I hate him. Usually guys don't care if I avoid them. He's a first. But yeah, maybe I'll just tell him good-looking men make me nervous. Hopefully he doesn't mind that I find him good-looking though.

[bDizzie]

A guy is not interested if you tell him you like him? I'm not following. I would be peeved as well if you cut contact with me. Just tell him you like him!

[Asker]

I'm not a hot woman, so chances are it might bother him to have an ugly woman liking him.

[mattyice]

Just tell him even if he has no interest in dating you. Gets a lot of your chest. answer mine please