Girl rejected me ... but keeps staring at me

[BeCoolFool]

Girl rejected me ..saying she does not know me to go out with me ...but keeps staring at me ...

Should I try to know her better ... or give up?

[Scoopie]

Some girls do have this psychology of "I don't know you, I'm not going out with you" which is not very common. I've had a girl use this 'argument' only once, and I did not even ask her out. I knew who she was, she knew who I was - we had common 'friends' - and I asked her about something, she 'helped' me (pretty sure it was a lie though). Then I remembered I would be going for a drink in the afternoon with some of her friends and asked if she wanted to come along. It was not my intention to ask her out.

If you think about it, it's also very weird and a bad argument. Every guy she meets, she'll have to get to know him first before considering going out with him. But if she refuses to get to know him, then in her mind that argument will remain 'valid'.

In the meanwhile, that girl did go to other places with other new people, solely because she chose to. When a girl really wants to, she won't use the "I don't know you" argument because even she knows it's a stupid argument. If all women on the planet started using it, I'm pretty sure humanity would cease to exist.

So in your case you should go find out if she really wants to find out more about you, or if she's not interested at all. Her staring at you may very well be the result of some anxiety that you will ask her again, pursue her, and basically bother her. But it may also be the result of longing for you take the initiative to find out things about each other.

But no matter what, treat her like nothing happened, like she never rejected you. It is what I always do: do not avoid her, do not show anger towards her, don't treat her different from other girls, do not mention it and ask 'why?'. Go along like it didn't affect you at all. When talking to her try to talk about more personal stuff, see if she allows it to go that way and if she asks things about you. If so, then chances are she really wanted to get to know you, but it could also be some general interest, if not politeness. If not, then she's most probably not interested.

[BeCoolFool]

thanks for the good answer ..in my case .. I had never talked to her before I asked her out ...

[Scoopie]

Then see if she's willing to talk to you about everyday, common things. Conversations you would have with any other girl. Is she perhaps shy?

[BeCoolFool]

i think she is shy... because she panics pretty much every time ...i am close to her ... I try to say hi .. but she can't even look up...

but stares me all the time from distance...

[Scoopie]

Act very normal around her. I know a girl who's pretty much the same. It takes time, but ff you're just casually making conversation then she'll get used talk. Try to chat online perhaps, she'll probably find that easier to talk to you.

[anonymousfille]

I think she 's a very normal girl. This is not an "argument", even if it's not common it does not mean it's unnatural. It's just a fact that she is not comfortable going out with someone she does not know, so if you're interested enough in getting to know her you try to introduce her to your environment. It's the same as some people don't have casual sex...they're not comfortable to do it. starring at you is enough to let you know that she did not reject you.

[BeCoolFool]

@anony...Fille ...i agree with .. you ... but I just want to make sure ,.. I don't become part of a game.. in keep trying again and again ..

[anonymousfille]

Believe me it's not a game...you try to friend her or get to know her better until she gives you a clear sign that she likes you, then ask again...I'm not trying to put you through rejection again. But I understand her because I'm one of those girls who do not go out with people I don't know, I need to see the guy in his daily environment, see how he treats people, it makes us feel safe. good luck keep us updated :)

[BeCoolFool]

sure will do... for now I am planning to IM her to get coffee ... at our work place .. lets see how that goes..

[Being_a_good_Indian]

When a woman is rejecting you, she typically isn't rejecting "you." She doesn't know anything about you: your qualities, your history, your likes, your dislikes, how compatible you'd be for her or how compatible she'd be for you. It may be the fact that you would've been the most amazing man of her entire life -- and she dismissed you outright and missed out on the best thing she ever could've had.

But that doesn't mean you ought to be angry with her for it. Nor does it mean you ought to feel ashamed for going up to talk to her. It just means you didn't come off the RIGHT WAY.

"Girl rejected me"

Accept the rejection. Some people can't. I have empathy for such people. 😊

[anonymousfille]

Then let her get to know you, let her see you dealing with other people, talk about yourself. I don't think saying she does not know you means she rejected you. She could be shy and inexperienced and did not express herself accurately. You need to make her feel safe to go out with you and you do that by letting her watch you around other people, talk about yourself, add her on a social network introduce her to your environment, ask her if you could get her number and exchange messages or try to get to know each other on some social network until she feels you have the "minimum requirements"="knows you enough" to go out with you.

[BeCoolFool]

thx ... that is the plan if she lets .. me

[anonymousfille]

:)

[Anonymous]

noooo! don't give up! get to know her better she said she don't know you that much ! make her know you yall should text or go on a date it should be fun!

[Anonymous]

she stares because she is curious about you, doesn't mean you should try it again

[stardazzleblonde]

get to know her better

[Anonymous]

keep trying