Inappropriate guy friend...

[SweetHeart09]

I met this guy and we are strictly friends (well on my end). I don't know if I'm overreacting but he has a girlfriend and he's constantly wanting me to call him always really late at night, the one time I did he brought up sex and kept asking me to talk "sexy" so I lied and said I was tired so I could hang up, I've been giving him excuses as to why I can't call him for the last couple of weeks , he always begs me to text him, telling me how attractive he thinks I am, asking if I find him attractive, randomly sending me pictures (regular) begging for pictures (regular not dirty) even after I've said no a million times he continues to ask, we're friends on this social site I'm on and he literally looks at my profile at least 3 times a day (it notifies you of who and when someone views your profile), he always texts me things like "I could use a back rub, or I could give you one" or "why don't I come over and have you cook for me ;)" "Wanna cuddle?" Or "I really want to hear that sexy voice" I always reply with the same thing "that's really inappropriate" and he just laughs it off, he even asks me out like constantly I could understand if it was like a hangout between friends but that's clearly not what he's getting at. When I called him out on it and asked him to stop because it's weird and a little creepy he said he's just naturally flirty and that it's no big deal. How do I get him to understand how inappropriate he his is? It makes me so uncomfortable that I'm seriously at the point where I'm about to end the friendship. Like he's been with this girl for maybe 4 or 5 years and he doesn't seem to care about how she would feel about his behavior. I've been avoiding talking to him the last couple of days just to kinda figure out what I should say.

[Anonymous]

Write him a letter making it completely explicitly clear that you and he are not friends anymore. Tell him:

-He's made it pretty obvious that he's interested in you for something other than friendship

-That you do not find him attractive in any way

-That he has a girlfriend, and has been disrespectful to her by contracting you in this manner

-If he contacts you again in any form, you will contact his girlfriend and explain to her exactly how disrespectful he's been

-Moreover, even if he were single, you are irretrievably disgusted by the fact that he'd be such a two faced apathetic liar to any girl, and will never go out with him no matter what

Proceed to then explain:

-I realize this sounds harsh, and I understand that when feelings are involved, they may be hard to control sometimes

-I don't mean to cause you pain, but your behavior is completely unacceptable and I will not tolerate it

-This letter is to indicate just how serious I am, because my previous rejections were clearly not enough discouragement



Sorry you have to deal with this guy :P Sounds awful...

[summergirl5542]

I think you have to tell him straight up that what he is doing is bothering you beyond belief and that if he doesn't stop, then you can't be friends anymore. And if he doesn't stop, then you have to follow through and just stop talking to him. Maybe then he will get the point

[smilesgirl]

I would totally end it. Sounds like he's just looking for a booty call. He's clearly not trying to build a legitimate friendship with you. Move on.

[vidovidovid]

i would say`: he has a trashy-persolaity as a friend.

wonder why you call him a friend at all .

i'd stop talking with this guy right away.

[quantumdefender]

I can't stand women who are single who flirt or hang with involved men. find friendships with single men

[SweetHeart09]

I'm not flirting with him or hanging with him. We started texting about music, explain to me how that is flirting in any way.

[quantumdefender]

if you are responding to his texts, and have not used the WORDS "not interested" it qualifies as leading someone on\or flirting

I should know, I was pursuing a woman once,she didn't have the decency to say "not interested" and I wasted a lot of time trying to get to know her.

[SweetHeart09]

I have said I wasn't interested in him in that way he laughs off everything I say.

[quantumdefender]

returning his texts tells a guy yer interested, unless you actually text "not interested"

[SweetHeart09]

I disagree.

[Cookie1995]

Sounds like he's unhealthily obsessed. I'd get rid of him now.

[Anonymous]

i only read the first two sentences but pretty sure my advice still applies: either just stop being friends with him if he's making you uncomfortable, or flat out ask him why he talks to you like that when he has a girlfriend, and ask him to stop

[Anonymous]

Just tell him how you truly feel then end the friendship if he continues to talk this way to you.

[MikeK]

Grow a backbone and tell him off... have some guts for Christ sakes...

No silent treatment, no leading him on... just flat out tell him "I don't want to be friends with you."... IS IT THAT HARD TO SAY?

[SweetHeart09]

It's not hard to say It's just he comes across as a little unstable and I don't know how he'll react or what he'll do.

[MikeK]

Unstable? Unstable is someone who doesn't say how they're feeling ;)

You don't want anything to do with him! What do you care how he'll react or what he'll do?

[pavlove]

This guy gets it.

[MikeK]

Thank you :)

[SweetHeart09]

That's definitely not the definition of unstable. I don't want the drama I've noticed how dramatic he is on the social site, it has nothing to do with the fact that I want nothing to do with him. I just want to tell him in way that he won't go all Mark walberg in "fear" on me. Thanks for your comment, have a good day.

[MikeK]

That's a movie - Most guys (nearly all) won't go all "Mark Wahlberg" on you... you watch too many movies :P

[tiredofwaiting]

Yeah I think that is your best bet to end the friendship if you are uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

Wow your so hot, I can see why he acts that way around you. What's the big deal?

[jamesma87]

I would probably just stop talking to the guy lol

[Deft_maiden]

He is using you. No friendship here

[Anonymous]

He wants to cheat. Stop talking to him at night

[SweetHeart09]

I've only talked to him on the phone once and that was before the inappropriate texts started.

[larry69]

I would drop him and never speak to him again

[Anonymous]

"You make me uncomfortable. We can't be friends."

[Anonymous]

Get rid of him