My boyfriend has not asked me to move in yet. Why?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend of 21 months has not asked me to move in yet. He keeps joking about marriage and I said to him when do you think that will be and he told me July 2014. I love him and I know that he loves me to. Don't guys usually like to move in with the girl before getting engaged? He also told me that marriage to him is just a piece of paper and if we ever got married than he would be afraid of changes. He had a bitter divorce and I told him that I understood. I only said this because what else could I say. I don't want to force anybody to marry me. We have a good time together and we get along and we rarely ever fight. Everything is good. So is he stringing me along or not? Thanks.

[MikeGaultier]

It could be a couple different things

1. He wants his "me time" and feels having his own place is the only way to get it

2. Some guys feel that if they are around their SO's all the time, things will get boring

3. Living together = More arguing, sometimes.

4. He's not ready for that stage yet, which is fine since it's better than asking you to move in only to find out that he wants you to leave soon after.

5. Would rather wait until you two are engaged to ask you to move in. This one is likely since I intend on doing the same. My S.O. stays the night with me every once in awhile (1-3 times a week) but we do not live together...although she has taken 3 of my drawers, a part of my closet, and apparently I now own a jewelry box.

To answer your question, yes I would love for her to move in sooner, but I feel things would be best if we waited.

[Anonymous]

Rarely ever fight? There should NEVER be "fighting". Having a calm dicussion about a disagreement is one thing...but a fight? No, you're not ready to marry. I'm guessing he likes the independence of having his house to himself since he's technically not married. Why shack up if you're going to get married in the near future? Playing house before you're married just complicates EVERYTHING. Basically, all you'll share while playing house is sex, and food. You plan on paying rent, or half the house payment with a guy you're not married too? Or pay half of all the other utilities and food bills?

[no_bs]

Whoa there, moving in together and getting married are not sequential steps.

Although many people move in together long before they're married, there are also lots who don't move in UNTIL they're married.

If you're not prepared to wait until marriage to move in, then you ought to bring that up to him... He's not stringing you along just because of that. Have you noticed any other signs that have you worried? You know, he might not want to get married at all, but still stay with you long-term. He actually gave you a month and year, though, so it seems legit. You should talk with him about all this.

[Anonymous]

21 months and he hasn't asked you to move in with him yet? Girl, you best get your @ss down to court right now and sue his @ss.

I'm not even going to bother quoting what you wrote and highlighting how badly one sentence clashes with the next, because we'd be here all day.

If you:

1. Understand what it was like for him to go through a divorce,

2. Don't want to force anyone to marry you,

3. Don't care if he marries you,

4. Because everything is good,

5. And you both have a great time together,

6. And rarely ever fight,

7. And get along so well,

Then:

1. Why do you care about getting engaged?

2. Or what men (as a whole or on average) usually do before getting engaged?

3. Or moving in together by a certain time-line?

Unless, of course:

1. You do want to get married,

2. You care about his aversion to marriage,

3. And hope to change him mind on the issue and "persuade" ("I didn't say 'force' muahaha) him to marry you.

o.O

[Kiran04]

Maybe you should be the one to bring it up. Some guys just aren't comfortable making big leaps of faith like that. It can be intimidating. If you were to say "no", that would essentially be the end of the relationship, since you'd have hit a brick wall and wouldn't be going anywhere. He probably just doesn't want to risk ruining what you have. It's perfectly OK for the woman to be the one to bring up the whole moving in together talk. That's actually pretty standard.

[Theguyoverthere]

I honestly would not marry someones who I never lived for at least one year with. It doesn't seem like a good idea. But at the same time, I would wait and see how he feels around your 2 year mark.

[quantumdefender]

not enough closet space fer everyone's shoes?