Boyfriend keeps asking if I want to break up and do I love him. What to do?

[Anonymous]

My long distance boyfriend who I am to marry in five months has been asking constantly if I wanna breakyp cause he thinks I'm tired of him. He also keeps asking if I love him. I tell him I love him and don't want to breakup. I ask him if he wants to breakup he says no and he says he loves me and I'm his life. He says he can't live without me. But he still asks me off and on. he's 24 and I'm a bit older...im also his frist real girlfriend/fiance. Yesterday we had a big fight and he started with all those questions. The fight started because I wasn't as talkative as I usually am...he got very upset. He is a bit controlling and very jealous. But I do love him I just don't understand this. I asked him if he loves me and he repeated back exactly what I said when I answered his question. He said what do you think of that? I said nothing...he said ...no you're confused. I said no you just repeated what I said. He said...yeah how do you ee about that. It does confuse me. He tells me he's so in love but yet acts so strange...

[Mermaidm]

It honestly sounds like this guy does struggle with his self worth and confidence. Maybe he's had something happen to him in his past that makes him think like this? Maybe he's in denial about the situations in his past so he hasn't addressed them enough to stop this behaviour? Maybe he has been left before. He sounds like a good guy, it just seems as if something is wired in him to make him think this way and it's sad. I'd say nurture him and make him feel welcome around you. Just remember when dealing with a guy do not harm his masculinity. Even if you're a strong woman just let him know you appreciate his efforts every once in a while. He will feel more connected to you if you do. In other words just do things to strengthen your relationship. If you believe he's the right guy for you, you have nothing to lose.

[talloak]

I don't understand his reasons for asking if you should break up. That suggests a low sense of confidence or worth. I'm not sure how that fits with your description of him as jealous and controlling. Those can stem from insecurity too but more of a different type to my thinking. You seem to be going into this with open eyes but I have to ask: do you know what it's like to live with a controlling person? I can tell you that it's very difficult. You have to give up a lot of the say in your own life to keep the peace with many such people. Have you had enough long exposure to him to experience what this will be like? Being angry with you when you've done nothing wrong is part of that.

[madhatters4]

it seems to me that there are just certainly levels of insecurity and uncertainty. it probably has to do with both being in a long distance relationship and also having to do with the major commitment that is pending. he is probably a little worried as the wedding approaches that slight changes in your behavior may be signs of a problem. I'd just remind him taht you are marrying him, you love him, and are excited to spend the rest of your life together

[atorin]

He is still crazy for you but being so far away he probably thinks you lost interest and are only still with him because your engaged, the only way I can think to fix it is by ending distance aspect. If you are together Laughing and talking it will get you further than phones ever could. If he sees genuine joy and your face when you are with him his doubts will fade.

[VERTiThe2ndSon]

He's just really afraid of losing you. He wants to make sure you're not losing interest in him. And I get why he was upset you weren't as talkative. He already has a suspicion you are losing interest in him, and not being as talkative didn't really help his suspicion.

[bh6676r942]

oh come on tell him your not tired of him and that you look forward to seeing him soon and don't say any thing different in the next five months

[Anonymous]

"He is a bit controlling and very jealous."

You forgot to mention extremely insecure. And you plan to be with this guy for the rest of your life? Good luck with that...

[jmurk]

4 eyes 2 heads