Where does my happiness come from?

[Sunkissed100]

I was recently asked where my happiness came from and to be honest, I had to think a little.

I used to suffer badly from depression and after a couple of years, therapy and lots of medication later I am finally okay. I know this sounds like a very 'first world' problem and why didn't I just drink a cup of concrete and toughen up but I learned that no matter the cause of someone's depression, depression itself is a sickness and it is serious. It takes a lot of hard work and determination to pull yourself out of the state of feeling alone, lost and mostly unwanted.

I think the key to my happiness today is acceptance. Acceptance of the fact that my past was rough but I got through it. Acceptance of the fact that the sad days will still come but there will be happy days too. Acceptance of the fact that I am most definitely not alone.

Another key to my happiness was the 'mindfulness technique'. Being aware of the emotions I am currently feeling, not judging those feelings in anyway, letting myself feel those feelings whether it be to cry or to shout and scream and find peace in the fact that this feeling will pass. No matter what, the feeling will pass, it is not permaneant.

This method of mindfulness really works for me and I also try and communicate my feelings better to my loved ones so that they can support me and understand when I'm having a bad day.

I guess I'm just grateful for where I am right now. Last year of high school, amazing family and friends, a loving boyfriend and a clean bill of health. What more do I need?

If anyone has any questions for me, I'll be happy to answer them and if this spoke to you in anyway, know that you are not alone :)

[Anonymous]

I don't think depression is a 'first-world' problem at all, and neither is asking what and where to find happiness.
I'm currently suffering from long term depression myself, and some days are very hard for me. Actually, every day is hard for me. Because when the emotions aren't overwhelming me, there's a residue of what is left - which is staying in bed all day, not eating, and wasting countless hours. I've been going to therapy on and off for a couple of months. I haven't been consistent with medication because I don't think it personally helps me a great deal and I want to learn to be dependent from it.
I appreciate you creating this take and its refreshing to hear from someone who has overcome it or is in a much better place now. I suffered from a very traumatic past when I was younger and it has left a lot of scars that I am only beginning to see and realize now.
I've also heard of mindfulness! And yes it seems like a wonderful technique but I am very new to it and its frustrating to learn and focus on. How did you manage it and how long did it take you to "perfect" it or get to a level where you were able to be "mindful"?

[Sunkissed100]

Thank you for your compliments, I know that it may not seem like it and I am probably preaching to the choir here but if there is one thing you learn today it is this - it will get better, one day you will wake up and the heaviness will be a little less and the clouds will have lifted a little. It takes time, but believe me, and I promise you that you will get into that space. One day at a time.

Consistency with medication is key. It took me about 3 years to find the right combination of medication and it was frustrating but once you find that harmony between body/mind/medication - things become a little easier.

The mindfulness technique came from when I went for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) as an almost last resort. I thought it was absolute rubbish but I began to accept the concept and I began to apply it and it became second nature. It took me about 3 months to fully reap the benefits of being mindful.

[Sunkissed100]

First message continued...
I was able to even prevent panic attacks and able to let myself have those nights filled with tears and sadness because I learned that my body and my mind needed to feel the emotions. I needed to let the emotion go - and some nights it was bad when I thought all was lost and when I woke up in the morning with heavy eyes and I had got myself up and dressed and at school, I realized that the feeling was lifting and that the sadness was temporary and that I was okay.

I don't think I have perfected the technique and it might not work for you but the key is patience, therapy and to take the medication! It all helps, and it will get better.

I wish you all the best on this journey xxx

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you for your kind words! I also have been going to CBT but very irregularity. I found it to be helpful as well but I think I need to be more consistent like you said. You have no idea how glad it makes me to know that you are okay and it will get better for me too. Validates the hope I have inside me :)

[BertMacklinFBI]

that's awesome man. glad things are looking up.

[Anonymous]

Being "happy in life" is not somewhere I ended up due to circumstances or people or anything like that. I don't just wake up in a great mood every day. It's something I have to work on every day, but I do it, and because of that, I am happy. I have to give myself pep talks and I have to think about certain things and look at certain things and hear certain songs to get my spirits up and put me in a happy place. And so I do those things every day. Happiness is not some magical destination I ended up at, but something I have to work for. But I do, and because of the work I put in, I make myself happy, every day.

[Anonymous]

Brilliant on mindfulness. Agree and a lovely take!!

Super quote too by the way.

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[Anonymous]

wow, this is awesome. Glad things are looking up for you!

[abundantlyrich]

You are indeed lucky.

[Anonymous]

i think you should try praying to Christ it works wonders. requires faith though.. .

[Riggers]

Not to mention a little bit of insanity.

[Opinion Owner]

insanity is when you live a christless life. to paraphrase dostoyevsky if Christ and your sanity are two different things i wholeheartedely prefer to be insane... .

[fulloflife]

Comes from God and living the Christian life