I was raped when I was 13 and got an abortion. I remember what it was like, being in that cold white room, holding the nurses hand because your prolife mother couldn't even look at you, let alone be in the same room while you were killing an innocent baby. I almost threw up when I saw the little heartbeat that that horrible man had forced upon me. It was only the size of a peanut, but it hurt like I was being stabbed in the uterus. I knew that killing it was wrong, but I knew that if I didn't get an abortion, I would never be able to love that baby, I would probably kill myself before even giving birth. I hated myslrf for that, and I still do, but I would do it again if I had to.
3
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
The worst thing about abortion is that it's legal, and people say it's ok. Unstable women are lead to commit murder because they are blinded to what it really is. And not any victim, but their own child. Anyone who supports abortion is supporting women to sabotage themselves psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Not to mention supporting the murder of an entirely innocent human being. There's a lot of things to get furious about, but this issue hits me hard. It's insidious. Makes me weep. In my view, you're no worse than any other human being. You didn't get the help you needed, I hope you get it soon.
If abortion isn't legal women will still find away to abort it like with a coat hanger. Completely unsafe and damgerous. So for those people it should be legal, with limits and regulations in place if course
@gaaxure You are correct, "first hand personal experience is not necessary to objectively judge." I don't know you, but it is obvious that you are closed-minded. It is also obvious that your spelling is sub-standard, white knighting is two words.
Whiteknighting is a slang word, it doesn't correct or incorrect have spelling, it's a verb describing an act of being a white knight (much like blackballing). And the fact that you chose ad hominem attack to refute my point speaks volumes about the strength of your argument. I wish you luck on your quest to save fair maidens.
Wow! This story brought tears to my eyes. I have 2 daughters I don't know what a abortion is. I am not trying to judge you because I was not in your shoes. A few of my sisters have had abortions but they never spoke of there experiences. My heart goes out to you. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!
3
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Wow... This was so sad but such a great take. I am pregnant now and I considered abortion, I couldn't go through with it and this has actually made me glad I didn't. So many people do it so matter of fact and talk about it like it's nothing afterwards. This was so real. It's great you've written this so people know what it's really like. I've always been pro choice but at the same time don't like abortion. I didn't know how strong you have to be to do it. I do now. You're really strong for being able to deal with it all. And deal with it alone. I know from this now that I'll never have one. It's so hard. It's not just a simple thing like people make out it is.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
While im pro choice. I can never understand what goes through a woman mind of aborting. Even you now , who saw your child in a position where it was suckling its thumb and had an eye how you are still in support of abortion. Yes, abortion shouldn't be a contraceptive but tens of thousands of abortions are performed every year in the U. S and so it only obvious it being used as a contraceptive. I also wonder why dont women use protection, you know you have to suffer the consequences of not being safe. Their is a huge contradiction in society, noone uses protection that they could get at the same places they get abortions.
Good take and I'm sorry to hear about that. I fully agree that even though I'm pro choice, abortion should never be a go to option.
One time I had unprotected sex with a date and I asked her if she was on the pill and she she said she had an abortion before like that was her go to option if I got her pregnant. I mean I'm not judging her for the abortion but how she said so casually and the fact I didn't know her all that well.
Thanks for sharing this. I've always been an pro-choice advocate, because I believe no one should dictate what anyone does with their own body. What you went through was truly horrible. I just want you to know that I don't think you're selfish, or a murderer, or anything that people so often call women who have had an abortion. I think you did what you thought was best for you, and for the baby that would have been hated and resented. I don't think you should ever be faulted for that.
Heartbeat is the sign of life, because when the heartbeat starts nerve endings are fully formed and lungs have started to develop, so don't try and give me that bullshit. She said she felt a heartbeat so that child was fully alive. Not to make her feel bad I just don't agree with her decision. I'm not even religious, but when she had the abortion that child was alive. that child had a life ahead of him that isn't there anymore because she was being selfish, she didn't even look at the adoption papers, and for what, she still went through the pains of birthing it. Just because you don't want it to be alive doesn't mean it isn't.
@Candle_Lit Legally, still not considered alive. There is no clear line on when a fetus is medically alive, and no doctors or scientists have come to a consensus on the matter, and they might not ever come to one.
Please go back and actually read my comment, about body autonomy. We should not end up giving dead bodies more rights about what happens to their body than pregnant women.
@Candle_Lit You are aware that the US government is not the only government in the world, and that most countries have the same laws surrounding abortion, right?
They aren't dead you asshat, they are fully alive and the only scientist who haven't decided yet are the ones being paid off by abortion lobbyist. I did read what you said and 90% of it is wrong or an opinion. The only reason it's till legal is because of abortion clinics still trying to make money, did you see how emotionless the nurse was, and because of immature women killing their unborn children because they think it will solve all their problems. And about the women trying to preform their own abortions and dieing, they deserve it for being such cowards, if I got someone pregnant and they said the only way to stop then getting an abortion was to saw my own balls off I'd do it, cause it's my fault nor the babies.
Actualy most don't have abortion laws so your argument is invalid, and the first world contrived that do only about 1/8 have abortion laws similar to ours. None of the Hispanic countries do, half of the European countries do, and the Asian countries have forced abortion decided by the guys.
@Candle_Lit Actually, everything that I've said is actual fact. The person who is using opinion as fact and quoting falsities is you.
And my god, ACTUALLY READ WHAT I WROTE. PLEASE. I hate having to repeat myself this much. I AM NOT REFERRING TO THE FETUS AS DEAD. I am referring to the dead bodies that KEEP THEIR ORGANS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T CONSENT BEFORE THEY DIED. You don't have a whole lot of comprehension, do you? I'll make it simple. Dead bodies who did not sign consent forms before death cannot have organs harvested to save the lives of others. You want to give pregnant women less rights over their own body than a dead person has. All because of a dubious argument over when life begins, which, once again, has never been agreed on, and likely never will be.
@Candle_Lit it wasn't a clinic so please don't say it was money driving them. It was a hospital. A normal hospital. They were cold because it's their job to be impartial. They are nurses.
I'd like to thank you for this story. I've honestly been wondering for some time what someone that experiences this, has to go through. I honestly would like GAG to have more stories and experiences like this, rather than just 'how to' s and other tips
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
You made the easy convenient decision for yourself. I could never be a pro choice person because the child never gets a choice. If a baby foetus is not alive then there would be no emotion involved it would be like getting a tooth pulled out at the dentist. The reason so many wonder what the child would have been like if it had been born is because they know that child was unique and special and there is never going to be another child exactly like the one that was executed. Women years later feel guilty for the choice they made for a reason because they know it was wrong. I dumped my ex fiancee years ago for killing our child and never spoke to her again.
I don't really know what to say. i knew I wasn't the only one who suffered like that, but hearing someone else echo the hopelessness and self hatred I felt, then knowing you survived it too is inspiring.
Your story was really touchful... Does made me thing how my ex girlfriend went trought abortion and what did she really felt during this period... But the truth is that nobody may know, how you really felt before and after the abortion, till they meet it in real life.
Why is it just the guys fault, of course half of its the guys fault but it isn't like he raped her she consented. It isn't one persons fault, two people got into the mess and two people had to pay for it, just one of then wasn't the right person.
@Candle_Lit I never said anything was anyone's fault. What I'm saying is that-He didn't support her. He wasn't a good human being to her. You can't turn your back on someone during such an important moment like that. He was happy to shirk away from any responsibilities he naturally had (since the child was half his too) He left ALL the decision making to her. He wasn't the right person at all because he was a coward.
I mean with the way society sees it the guys don't even have an imputed on the abortion at all so... also it's not like he got much time to do anything I'm sure he was stressed about life and shells hockey about the baby, then she told him it was just a scare so it's not like he had any chance to do anything really, not making excuses for him. And I wasn't trying to sound like I was blaming people but everyone makes it seem like it's always the guys fault, but never his decision to make about what to do with the baby after sex.
@Candle_Lit She did tell him it was a scare very soon after. But what he did in those moments, in that day when he was told the truth, that showed his true character. He was a coward.
It sounds like she didn't have much experience before this. She needed some support. She made the decision she did all by herself. That sounds terrifying and like such a heavy burden.
What blame do people place on guys though? Like, what do you think their blame is?
They act like the guy forced the girl to have unprotected sex, in court cases, blogs, and just everyday conversations., people act like it's the guys fault the woman is getting an abortion. It's both their faults, but only one of their choices. That guy was a jerk, but also we are only hearing one side of the story, where's the guy. It can be scary to find out you have a child, and I know I'm 18 but this happened to my friend and he came to me for help, and especially after the past time you had sex with her was a month and a half ago. I think she judged him to fast and didn't give him a chance cause she was scared.
@Candle_Lit I know that this happens (and it's an issue that should be investigated for truth in all cases), but I don't know if this is a mass issue when pertaining to abortion. But yea, I agree. Lying and throwing someone under the legal bus is absolutely wrong and is also a coward move.
I think the fact that they were supposed to be so in love but as soon as there is some heat, he shows his true colors. She deserved better. The fetus deserved better. It's sad because in instances like this, no one wins. There's little to gain. Wisdom I guess.
@Candle_Lit to both of you, I didn't put in the fact I called him after my appointment was made. I told him I was going for an abortion and that I had lied before. He asked what I wanted from him. I told him I wanted his consent to have the abortion. I couldn't go through with that without his consent.
I'm completely pro choice. I know that up until a certain point the 'baby' is just a mass of cells diving and differentiating. I asked you why you waited because I do think the least amount of suffering as possible should be administered to all organisms. But I have no idea why you waited, and I'll never be in the shoes you were in. I wrote this response pretty quick, about to run into a building, but I hope it makes sense.
"Men can never, ever understand what it is to be pregnant. Ever."
I can understand how it feels to be alive. Something your child will never feel because you were too selfish. You didn't want a child - understandable. You could have given it up for adoption.
hey maybe that child would have ended up like me better off dead and not knowing of the place cuz honestly this place is 2 steps down from being hell all it needs is a little more fire
Wow. You're really really brave to write this. I love how descriptive it is. I haven't been able to get a full story on this from anyone b4, so thank you for posting.
I am anti abortion but I understand your views and why you did what you had to do. But I can't get your words out of my head where you talked about what it looked like. To see a life that was taken just laying there, it sends me chills. No offence.
Sure you deserve sympathy. This would have been a lot less mentally and physically traumatic if you could have talked to someone right away and had the abortion after just 4-5 weeks, no identifiable fetus at that point... and less pain involved.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
28Opinion
I was raped when I was 13 and got an abortion. I remember what it was like, being in that cold white room, holding the nurses hand because your prolife mother couldn't even look at you, let alone be in the same room while you were killing an innocent baby. I almost threw up when I saw the little heartbeat that that horrible man had forced upon me. It was only the size of a peanut, but it hurt like I was being stabbed in the uterus. I knew that killing it was wrong, but I knew that if I didn't get an abortion, I would never be able to love that baby, I would probably kill myself before even giving birth. I hated myslrf for that, and I still do, but I would do it again if I had to.
The worst thing about abortion is that it's legal, and people say it's ok. Unstable women are lead to commit murder because they are blinded to what it really is. And not any victim, but their own child.
Anyone who supports abortion is supporting women to sabotage themselves psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Not to mention supporting the murder of an entirely innocent human being.
There's a lot of things to get furious about, but this issue hits me hard. It's insidious. Makes me weep.
In my view, you're no worse than any other human being. You didn't get the help you needed, I hope you get it soon.
If abortion isn't legal women will still find away to abort it like with a coat hanger. Completely unsafe and damgerous. So for those people it should be legal, with limits and regulations in place if course
Yes i know, it is sickening isn't it.
It is interesting to see all the guys judge her but until you've walked a mile in her shoes, who are you to judge her?
Exactly!
@gaaxure You are correct, "first hand personal experience is not necessary to objectively judge." I don't know you, but it is obvious that you are closed-minded. It is also obvious that your spelling is sub-standard, white knighting is two words.
@gaaxure ^
Whiteknighting is a slang word, it doesn't correct or incorrect have spelling, it's a verb describing an act of being a white knight (much like blackballing). And the fact that you chose ad hominem attack to refute my point speaks volumes about the strength of your argument. I wish you luck on your quest to save fair maidens.
Right now I can only think of two words.. THANK YOU.
Yes.
Wow! This story brought tears to my eyes. I have 2 daughters I don't know what a abortion is. I am not trying to judge you because I was not in your shoes. A few of my sisters have had abortions but they never spoke of there experiences. My heart goes out to you. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!
Wow... This was so sad but such a great take. I am pregnant now and I considered abortion, I couldn't go through with it and this has actually made me glad I didn't. So many people do it so matter of fact and talk about it like it's nothing afterwards. This was so real. It's great you've written this so people know what it's really like. I've always been pro choice but at the same time don't like abortion. I didn't know how strong you have to be to do it. I do now. You're really strong for being able to deal with it all. And deal with it alone.
I know from this now that I'll never have one. It's so hard. It's not just a simple thing like people make out it is.
While im pro choice. I can never understand what goes through a woman mind of aborting. Even you now , who saw your child in a position where it was suckling its thumb and had an eye how you are still in support of abortion. Yes, abortion shouldn't be a contraceptive but tens of thousands of abortions are performed every year in the U. S and so it only obvious it being used as a contraceptive. I also wonder why dont women use protection, you know you have to suffer the consequences of not being safe. Their is a huge contradiction in society, noone uses protection that they could get at the same places they get abortions.
I am Pro-Life. Rape notwithstanding. Because it isn't a choice.
Good take and I'm sorry to hear about that. I fully agree that even though I'm pro choice, abortion should never be a go to option.
One time I had unprotected sex with a date and I asked her if she was on the pill and she she said she had an abortion before like that was her go to option if I got her pregnant. I mean I'm not judging her for the abortion but how she said so casually and the fact I didn't know her all that well.
Thanks for sharing this. I've always been an pro-choice advocate, because I believe no one should dictate what anyone does with their own body.
What you went through was truly horrible. I just want you to know that I don't think you're selfish, or a murderer, or anything that people so often call women who have had an abortion. I think you did what you thought was best for you, and for the baby that would have been hated and resented. I don't think you should ever be faulted for that.
It wasn't just her own body @gingerbear
@Candle_Lit Legally, it was. A fetus is not considered alive. Have a read of my comment about body autonomy on CoolSky01's opinion.
Heartbeat is the sign of life, because when the heartbeat starts nerve endings are fully formed and lungs have started to develop, so don't try and give me that bullshit. She said she felt a heartbeat so that child was fully alive. Not to make her feel bad I just don't agree with her decision. I'm not even religious, but when she had the abortion that child was alive. that child had a life ahead of him that isn't there anymore because she was being selfish, she didn't even look at the adoption papers, and for what, she still went through the pains of birthing it. Just because you don't want it to be alive doesn't mean it isn't.
@gingerbread and we all effing know that the us government doesn't have fair or even good laws half the time.
@Candle_Lit Legally, still not considered alive. There is no clear line on when a fetus is medically alive, and no doctors or scientists have come to a consensus on the matter, and they might not ever come to one.
Please go back and actually read my comment, about body autonomy. We should not end up giving dead bodies more rights about what happens to their body than pregnant women.
@Candle_Lit You are aware that the US government is not the only government in the world, and that most countries have the same laws surrounding abortion, right?
They aren't dead you asshat, they are fully alive and the only scientist who haven't decided yet are the ones being paid off by abortion lobbyist. I did read what you said and 90% of it is wrong or an opinion. The only reason it's till legal is because of abortion clinics still trying to make money, did you see how emotionless the nurse was, and because of immature women killing their unborn children because they think it will solve all their problems. And about the women trying to preform their own abortions and dieing, they deserve it for being such cowards, if I got someone pregnant and they said the only way to stop then getting an abortion was to saw my own balls off I'd do it, cause it's my fault nor the babies.
Actualy most don't have abortion laws so your argument is invalid, and the first world contrived that do only about 1/8 have abortion laws similar to ours. None of the Hispanic countries do, half of the European countries do, and the Asian countries have forced abortion decided by the guys.
@Candle_Lit Actually, everything that I've said is actual fact. The person who is using opinion as fact and quoting falsities is you.
And my god, ACTUALLY READ WHAT I WROTE. PLEASE. I hate having to repeat myself this much. I AM NOT REFERRING TO THE FETUS AS DEAD. I am referring to the dead bodies that KEEP THEIR ORGANS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T CONSENT BEFORE THEY DIED. You don't have a whole lot of comprehension, do you?
I'll make it simple. Dead bodies who did not sign consent forms before death cannot have organs harvested to save the lives of others. You want to give pregnant women less rights over their own body than a dead person has. All because of a dubious argument over when life begins, which, once again, has never been agreed on, and likely never will be.
@Candle_Lit it wasn't a clinic so please don't say it was money driving them. It was a hospital. A normal hospital. They were cold because it's their job to be impartial. They are nurses.
she is a killer end off
@stallion12 And you're an idiot.
@Candle_Lit Brain dead people have a heartbeat so try again.
I'd like to thank you for this story. I've honestly been wondering for some time what someone that experiences this, has to go through.
I honestly would like GAG to have more stories and experiences like this, rather than just 'how to' s and other tips
You made the easy convenient decision for yourself. I could never be a pro choice person because the child never gets a choice. If a baby foetus is not alive then there would be no emotion involved it would be like getting a tooth pulled out at the dentist. The reason so many wonder what the child would have been like if it had been born is because they know that child was unique and special and there is never going to be another child exactly like the one that was executed. Women years later feel guilty for the choice they made for a reason because they know it was wrong. I dumped my ex fiancee years ago for killing our child and never spoke to her again.
Yes, agonizing pain and years of mental and emotional damage was the "easiest choice."
Great logic, anon.
I don't really know what to say. i knew I wasn't the only one who suffered like that, but hearing someone else echo the hopelessness and self hatred I felt, then knowing you survived it too is inspiring.
Your story was really touchful... Does made me thing how my ex girlfriend went trought abortion and what did she really felt during this period...
But the truth is that nobody may know, how you really felt before and after the abortion, till they meet it in real life.
Your story made me cry. I am strongly against abortion but, you have opened my eyes. I know what it's like to feel alone. Thank you so much.
You knew you were pregnant at one month and waited 2 more months to have the abortion?
Just curious, this was a long heavy story.
I'm not judging you. The guy who got your pregnant was a complete ass and I hope he becomes a better person.
Why is it just the guys fault, of course half of its the guys fault but it isn't like he raped her she consented. It isn't one persons fault, two people got into the mess and two people had to pay for it, just one of then wasn't the right person.
@Candle_Lit
I never said anything was anyone's fault. What I'm saying is that-He didn't support her. He wasn't a good human being to her. You can't turn your back on someone during such an important moment like that. He was happy to shirk away from any responsibilities he naturally had (since the child was half his too) He left ALL the decision making to her. He wasn't the right person at all because he was a coward.
@QA were you a virgin before this?
I mean with the way society sees it the guys don't even have an imputed on the abortion at all so... also it's not like he got much time to do anything I'm sure he was stressed about life and shells hockey about the baby, then she told him it was just a scare so it's not like he had any chance to do anything really, not making excuses for him. And I wasn't trying to sound like I was blaming people but everyone makes it seem like it's always the guys fault, but never his decision to make about what to do with the baby after sex.
@Candle_Lit She did tell him it was a scare very soon after. But what he did in those moments, in that day when he was told the truth, that showed his true character. He was a coward.
It sounds like she didn't have much experience before this. She needed some support. She made the decision she did all by herself. That sounds terrifying and like such a heavy burden.
What blame do people place on guys though? Like, what do you think their blame is?
They act like the guy forced the girl to have unprotected sex, in court cases, blogs, and just everyday conversations., people act like it's the guys fault the woman is getting an abortion. It's both their faults, but only one of their choices. That guy was a jerk, but also we are only hearing one side of the story, where's the guy. It can be scary to find out you have a child, and I know I'm 18 but this happened to my friend and he came to me for help, and especially after the past time you had sex with her was a month and a half ago. I think she judged him to fast and didn't give him a chance cause she was scared.
@Candle_Lit
I know that this happens (and it's an issue that should be investigated for truth in all cases), but I don't know if this is a mass issue when pertaining to abortion. But yea, I agree. Lying and throwing someone under the legal bus is absolutely wrong and is also a coward move.
I think the fact that they were supposed to be so in love but as soon as there is some heat, he shows his true colors. She deserved better. The fetus deserved better. It's sad because in instances like this, no one wins. There's little to gain. Wisdom I guess.
Yea I guess only the abortion clinic won.
@Candle_Lit to both of you, I didn't put in the fact I called him after my appointment was made. I told him I was going for an abortion and that I had lied before. He asked what I wanted from him. I told him I wanted his consent to have the abortion. I couldn't go through with that without his consent.
I think it was more like a month and a half when I was sure.
Strangely enough I remained friends with him, the potential father. Even now we talk.
Yes but i bet he doesn;t know you killed his baby does he. you propably said you had miscarraige.
@stallion12 he knows. I contacted him before I went ahead with the decision.
@stallion12 you obviously didn't read the whole story.
I'm completely pro choice. I know that up until a certain point the 'baby' is just a mass of cells diving and differentiating. I asked you why you waited because I do think the least amount of suffering as possible should be administered to all organisms. But I have no idea why you waited, and I'll never be in the shoes you were in. I wrote this response pretty quick, about to run into a building, but I hope it makes sense.
Because I didn't know what to do. I didn't decide to abort and then wait.
Yea, I figured as much. I'm not judging you, I just didn't understand. But I'll never be in your shoes and obviously that time wasn't good.
@Candle_Lit Hoe did he have to pay for it? He did not pay emotionally or financially. He ignored it and moved on.
"Men can never, ever understand what it is to be pregnant. Ever."
I can understand how it feels to be alive. Something your child will never feel because you were too selfish. You didn't want a child - understandable. You could have given it up for adoption.
hey maybe that child would have ended up like me better off dead and not knowing of the place cuz honestly this place is 2 steps down from being hell all it needs is a little more fire
This is beautifully written, I am sorry for all the close minded anger filled people who ill give you hate for this.
Wow. You're really really brave to write this. I love how descriptive it is. I haven't been able to get a full story on this from anyone b4, so thank you for posting.
I am anti abortion but I understand your views and why you did what you had to do. But I can't get your words out of my head where you talked about what it looked like. To see a life that was taken just laying there, it sends me chills. No offence.
Sure you deserve sympathy. This would have been a lot less mentally and physically traumatic if you could have talked to someone right away and had the abortion after just 4-5 weeks, no identifiable fetus at that point... and less pain involved.