Abortion: My Story

Abortion: My Story

I decided to write this take, not to gain sympathy but to let people know that having an abortion is not a simple process. It isn't an alternative to contraception and it isn't undertaken lightly. I think sharing my personal experience might help others in one way or another. To either make sure they take adequate protection or to understand that it isn't an "easy-fix" to a problem you yourself created. That it is a traumatic event and not something people just pop to the clinic during their lunch and have done, then back to normal the next day. To possibly enlighten those who are considering it to the realities of the process. Although I support a woman's choice to abort I don't ever think it should be a go-to option. It should never be taken lightly and it may effect you for many, many years to come. Looking back at my own experience I wish I had known more, had someone to talk. Someone to look out for me and help me deal with what was happening. The outcome may have been different, it may not have. I won't ask that you won't judge me, I know many will and that's your right to but I think judgement should come with understanding too. This isn't intended to sway anyone either way, it is merely a first hand experience of a controversial issue.


I was 21 when I fell pregnant. I was dating a man I had fallen in love with before I had kissed. He said he felt the same and we were wildy and crazily in love - as many young people are. We were passionate and reckless and one night we went too far with that and had unprotected sex. Just once. It isn't very likely that one instance will get you pregnant, but it can happen and it did to me. At that time I had moved away from my home town to a city about 100 miles away. It was my first time away from friends and family and I was acting recklessly. I was working hard and playing harder and I was enjoying the freedom. I think many of us go through a stage like this, the supposed immortality of youth can make us act very irresponsibly.

Despite having such strong feelings for each other, my boyfriend and I began to see less and less of each other. I was working night shifts and he worked long hours himself. It had been about a month since I had seen him when I realised I was pregnant. I didn't take a test but I knew: my body was giving me all the signs and I knew enough to know what it was. I felt terrified, confused, alone, ashamed and I only had him to turn to. I called him up and asked if we could meet. He was very short on the phone and said he had time to meet before he started his shift. I met him outside of his work and felt right away that he couldn't be bothered with me. I managed to spit it out and tell him that I was pregnant and he just stared at me. He finally managed to say something along the lines of "well we haven't had sex for ages". At that point I knew that I was on my own with this. That no help or support would come from him. I didn't have much to say to him and just let him leave. When I got home I was totally numb. I felt as if I floated all the way in a world of my own and when I closed my front door I felt even more alone. My only option now was to keep working until I couldn't anymore and then try and raise the child on my own, with no financial or emotional support from the father. If he didn't want anything to do with me then that was my only option if I wanted to keep the baby. I texted him a day later and told him that it was a scare, that I wasn't pregnant after all. I suppose I was stil in love with him because I wanted to stop him worrying, I wanted his life to go back to normal if mine couldn't.

As I sat alone in my apartment I didn't cry. I didn't call my mother or my friends or my siblings for help. I stopped going to work until I got so behind with bills that I couldn't stay in my apartment anymore and had to move home to my parents house. This is when I began to lose it. I would cry every night to myself, every morning I would wake up and remember what was going to happen to me: that I was going to be a mother of a child I didn't want. That my boyfriend was not the man I thought he was, that he had amandoned me at the first chance. That this innocent baby was hated even before it could speak. I hadn't heard from him since I had lied to him and told him I wasn't pregnant and I hadn't told anyone else either. I was still very much alone and very lost. I would lie in my bed punching my stomach, I remember at one stage purposefully falling down the stairs - desperate to get rid of the baby: I hated it. I hated myself. I had to stay covered not only to hide my very slight bump but also to hide the self-inflicted bruises all over my body. At my lowest point I considered suicide. I sat on my bed with a bottle of pills dropping them into a glass of water one by one, considering whether to swallow them or not. Considering if they would kill me and the baby or just the baby. I wanted to die so desperately.

For some reason I snapped out of my incapacitated state and managed to get to the doctor. He tested to see if I was pregnant and I told him I wanted an abortion. I didn't make eye contact with him for the whole meeting. He gave me leaflets about adoption. I took them from him and slid them into my pocket without so much as a glance. An appointment was made for me at the hospital:

"Do I have anyone who could take you? You really shouldn't go alone"

"Yes" I lied. "I have someone who can take me".

The morning of my appointment I left the house and caught the train. I waitied outside the consultation room, totally numb still. There were no thoughts in my head, I just needed to hold it together and get through this meeting. A nurse came out and called my name, looking me up and down as I stood up. We went into the small, dimly lit room and she asked for me to pull my clothing up so she could take an ultrasound: they needed to see how far along the baby was. I hesitated as I was scared she would see the bruising, but thankfully the room was so dimly that she either didn't notice or didn't care. I lay down on my back and faced the wall, avoiding looking at the two women. They muttered between themselves for a while as they scanned my belly then asked if I would like to see it - my baby. I declined their offer. I couldn't risk seeing it there, it's heartbeat sounding away from inside me. I felt sick. I wanted it gone, I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to make any kind of connection with it. I suppose the reality still hadn't sunk in, I was deperately trying to disassociate myself from the entire situation. The nurses said they were done and that I could pull my clothes down. They turned the lights on and then proceeded to talk me through what would happen. They never asked if I was sure this is what I wanted, they never asked about my mental health. They didn't ask me anything, just talked me through what I had to do:

The process is a two-step one for someone at 12 weeks, which is what I was. The cut off point at the time for a medical abortion. The first step is that I orally take two tablets that induce a miscarriage. I was to return two days later to receive the rest of the treatment. She handed me the pills and left the room while I took them, she returned with some forms and some instructions and asked me to sign some paperwork. I have no idea what the paperwork was about and had no interest. I just wanted to leave. I got home and stayed in bed for the next two days until it was time for my second appointment.

I was brought into a private room with a bed and a commode. I was not under any circumstances to use the toilet outside of the room. I was told to change into a robe and lie on the bed and someone would be with me shortly. She handed me the TV remote and asked if I wanted something to drink. I remember being appalled at the time, appalled that she thought I could lie there drinking coffee and watching television as I killed my baby. I politely declined the offer of a drink and she left me alone.

About an hour later another nurse came in and explained what she was going to do: two tablets would be inserted into my cervix and this would cause me to expelthe foetus. The process could take many hours to complete and I was not allowed to leave until they were certain it had been completed. She administered the drug and left me alone. About a half hour later I was writhing in agony on the bed, my insides feeling as if they were being stabbed and dragged out of me. I began to have contractions and felt a desperate urge to use the bathroom. I was told I must use the one in the room as they must monitor everything. The feeling passed but the contractions did not, I found that "bearing down" seemed to help, the same as if you are giving birth. The pain was excrutiating and I could feel things moving as I tried to push. After an hour of this I was lying in a bed covered with blood and tissue and was almost hysterical. I was covered in it. My dead baby. I lay there moaning until finally the pain passed and a nurse came in. She lifted the sheets and saw the mess and went to fetch soem things to clear it up with - there on the sheets was a tiny tiny foetus: my baby. Curled up and lying there on the green bedding. One tiny black eye looking out, dead to the world. It's arm close to its face as if sucking it's yet-to-be-developed thumb. I will never forget that image. The pain and distress just disappeared and the numbness returned. I suppose a coping mechanism.

The nurse cleared away the bedding, taking the baby with her. She returned with fresh sheets and made the bed for me. I just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, to extract myself from that place. They told me I couldn't leave until all the bleeding had stopped, that they would check in on me soon. Shortly after another nurse came to me and asked if I had stopped bleeding. I lied to her and said I had - I was so desperate to leave. They asked who they should call to come and pick me up,I told them I had already made arrangements. She looked at me dubiously and asked if I was sure, that I should not be leaving alone. I told her it was fine, they were waiting for me outside.

Eventually I was allowed to go, the bleeding had almost stopped by now but not quite. I snuck to the bathroom and cleaned myself up before the nurse asked to check me over. I was fine to leave she said., jus make sure to rest yourself and don't do much exercise for the next few days. Any problems, any bleeding I was to come straight back. I left the hospital and mised my train home, the next one meant I missed my connection and having no money, that meant a four mile walk. By the time I got home I was in agaony again and bleeding heavily. My parents still didn't know so I just showered and went to my room. I stayed there for the next week, bleeding and in immense pain. Too ashamed to ask for help, to guilty to return to the hospital: I felt as if this was part of it, that I deserved this pain for what I had done. Eventuallythe bleeding stopped and the inflammation and pain subsided. I got back up and went and applied for a job at a local bar, I started in a few days. For the next 12 months I pretended it didn't happen. I began drinking heavily, every day. I became cold and distant and pushed my friends away to avoid the risk of telling them what happened. I got into an abusive relationship which isolated me from the people who cared about me and I thought I deserved it all. When I was hit: I deserved it. When I was emotionally abused: I deserved it. Anything bad that happened was my own doing and I should take it all without a word of complaint. It was a dark time for me, so dark that I didn't even think about suicide as I was convinced that was unfair, that I should have to endure these sufferrings for being such a bad person.


I've made my peace with what happened now. With myself. I'm not proud of what I chose to do, but I do think it was the right choice. I don't think that at that stage I was capable of being a mother, and certainly not to a child I already hated and resented. I dread to think what would have happened to it under my care. What would have happened to me....but this was my choice and I fully accept that and everything that came with it was my doing. I just wish I had reached out, I wish someone had reached out to me and sat me down, spoken to me, just listened.

Many men are anti-abortion, I can understand why they feel that way but they can never, ever understand what it is to be pregnant. Ever.

I know many women are anti-abortion, and I can understand why. To have a life growing inside you, a life you created on purpose or not. To punish that child for your mistake by taking its life is a wholly selfish act but when it's only yourself you have it can be hard to feel any hope for you or that baby, when you know you can't even care for yourself.The fear is overwhelming.

As I said at the start, I do not write this for sympathy. I don't need or deserve any sympathy. I write it to show a grim reality of a choice. One we so easily argue and fight about without addressing what actually happens.

This is just my story.

Abortion: My Story
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    I'm so sorry.
    I had a miscarriage. It was undoubtedly the worst experience of my life. The blood, the pain, seeing my baby, dead.
    To those saying a fetus is not a baby--what is it then? A clump of cells? By that logic, so are we. Every one of us. Just a clump of cells. With a heartbeat. With a genome. The only difference is, we're further along, developmentally.
    Don't downplay this. Don't downplay what she went through. It's an insult to women everywhere who have held a dead baby in their hands.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Cusco_Othriyas
    You took the lesser of the two evils. There's nothing wrong in that, you just saved a soul from what could be a lifetime of agony. Fuck anti-abortionism.
    You did open my eyes to just how emotionally complicated it could get. I've seen pictures of aborted fetuses, but those are meaningless and sterile without a story attached to them.
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

3027
  • BellePepper
    I'm so sorry, darling. I wish someone could have been there for you and better methods were available to you. I wish I had the biggest hug for you because you definitely deserve it after going through all that and sharing it with us. Thank you. I hope you're in a much better place for you now. media.giphy.com/media/1MI7djBqXTWrm/giphy.gif
    • Anonymous

      Aw, the emergency hug is adorable! Thank you, I am in a much much better place now.

  • gobsmacked3
    Very touching and courageous take, the only downside is you didn't attach your identity to it to gain the praise/respect you deserve

    Wholly understandable from the point of view of the polarising topic you covered that incites hysteria and unfair judgment
    • detlef

      Agreed

    • Anonymous

      Thank you for your kind words. Although I am at peace with my actions, I didn't really want to have to have it thrown in my face at every opportunity, as it would be by many.

  • MargaritaPeach
    You are very brave for telling your story to the world; even knowing all the while that perfect strangers will judge and try to shame you. I think you can be forgiven, and I hope someday you forgive yourself. When we are teriffied and alone we make poor choices. We panic. And there's no going back. I hope you find peace I knowing that sharing your story might help someone else.
    • Anonymous

      @stallion12 I didn't blame him.

    • @stallion12 you have most likely never been pregnant, since your profile indicates you are a guy. And since you haven't, you can never know the fear that was in her heart. Have you adopted any children whose mothers weren't in a position to care for them? That might help.

  • genericname85
    she heads for the clinic and she gets some static walking through the door
    they call her a killer and they call her a sinner and they call her a whore

    God forbid you ever had to walk mile in her shoes
    then you really might know what its like to have to choose

    sorry but i just had to think of that song when i read this...
    • Anonymous

      Good lyrics.

    • i can´t even begin to imagine, what it must feel like to go through this horrible situation. i hope you´re going to be good.

    • Anonymous

      I'm good now, but thank you for the kind thoughts.

  • bubble_tea
    Wow, I'm really sorry you had to go through all of this. Is this normal procedure to let the patient be covered in blood and have to see it lying there? It sounds nightmarish and I wonder if this is only what clinics do that want to sell the fetus for medical purposes..

    People can be so hypocritical. On one hand, they keep preaching every life is precious and should be saved.. on the other hand, they keep insisting single moms are undateable and only idiots who can't do better would want them, and wonder given the options why anyone wouldn't want to give up their love life forever and live vicariously through the love life of their child. I guess there are no second chances and the women squandered their one and only chance and should suffer forever. The child will somehow have an incredibly happy life with a mother who hates it and what it represents.
    Even funnier, the very same people are not shy to explain why they or everyone else coming from a good home would always prefer to marry someone who doesn't come from a (broken) single parent home and why they would also wish the same for their children, because.. statistics.
    I wonder what kind of life they think that unwanted and unloved fetus can ever get if they were honest with themselves.
  • kingoficeolation
    A grim and grisly account. It is the least that can be done for women who go through such an experience to make sure they have access to a safe and carefully monitored procedure, because what most people don't understand is that women will have abortions whether or not it is legal. The only difference is between tablets or clothes hangers.
    • Anonymous

      I completely agree.

  • Humping_Tornadoes
    How have I not read this? This is actually a very heart reaching and wonderfully written take. You have lots of courage to post stuff this serious here on gag and I commend you for it! I already had a mixed bag of thoughts about abortion but you just exposed what I always feared it actually was. A 180 degree turn to my beliefs for sure.

    I don't know who you are (or maybe I do?) but thanks again for writing this and continue being the great person you are. :)
    • Anonymous

      Thank you for your kind words, I think I achieved what I set out to do and that's highlight some of the issues in a way that would make both sides of the fence think.

  • Nicolás25
    really good finally some good content on here i feel as if i grew as a person by reading this i am pro-choice but after reading this I am not so keen to just suggest abortion as a solution i think its a last resort and like you said why bring a baby to life if it will be hated resented and poorly raised yet i feel as if women need to seriously think if they can either go on with the life changing event of becoming a mother or go on with the impactful events of an abortion.
    • Anonymous

      I'm glad it's shown you the issue in a different light.

    • AbbyKay

      Yeah I get what you're saying but I just wanted to point out (not attacking or being accusing) that she could have given it up for adoption and that way two people who want nothing more than to have a baby would love the child. But I don't look down on her for doing it. I don't think she should have done it but that's a really hard decision to make! I mean I don't think I would ever abort my child but if it ever came down to it, who knows, I could have done the same thing

  • GingerBear
    Thanks for sharing this. I've always been an pro-choice advocate, because I believe no one should dictate what anyone does with their own body.
    What you went through was truly horrible. I just want you to know that I don't think you're selfish, or a murderer, or anything that people so often call women who have had an abortion. I think you did what you thought was best for you, and for the baby that would have been hated and resented. I don't think you should ever be faulted for that.
    • Candle_Lit

      It wasn't just her own body @gingerbear

    • GingerBear

      @Candle_Lit Legally, it was. A fetus is not considered alive. Have a read of my comment about body autonomy on CoolSky01's opinion.

    • Candle_Lit

      Heartbeat is the sign of life, because when the heartbeat starts nerve endings are fully formed and lungs have started to develop, so don't try and give me that bullshit. She said she felt a heartbeat so that child was fully alive. Not to make her feel bad I just don't agree with her decision. I'm not even religious, but when she had the abortion that child was alive. that child had a life ahead of him that isn't there anymore because she was being selfish, she didn't even look at the adoption papers, and for what, she still went through the pains of birthing it. Just because you don't want it to be alive doesn't mean it isn't.

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  • vishna
    You knew you were pregnant at one month and waited 2 more months to have the abortion?
    Just curious, this was a long heavy story.

    I'm not judging you. The guy who got your pregnant was a complete ass and I hope he becomes a better person.
    • Candle_Lit

      Why is it just the guys fault, of course half of its the guys fault but it isn't like he raped her she consented. It isn't one persons fault, two people got into the mess and two people had to pay for it, just one of then wasn't the right person.

    • vishna

      @Candle_Lit
      I never said anything was anyone's fault. What I'm saying is that-He didn't support her. He wasn't a good human being to her. You can't turn your back on someone during such an important moment like that. He was happy to shirk away from any responsibilities he naturally had (since the child was half his too) He left ALL the decision making to her. He wasn't the right person at all because he was a coward.

      @QA were you a virgin before this?

    • Candle_Lit

      I mean with the way society sees it the guys don't even have an imputed on the abortion at all so... also it's not like he got much time to do anything I'm sure he was stressed about life and shells hockey about the baby, then she told him it was just a scare so it's not like he had any chance to do anything really, not making excuses for him. And I wasn't trying to sound like I was blaming people but everyone makes it seem like it's always the guys fault, but never his decision to make about what to do with the baby after sex.

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  • SolitaireBond
    Right now I can only think of two words.. THANK YOU.
  • Stingray444
    I'm not going to lie, this is one of the most if not the most powerful and emotional stories that I've read on G@G or really anywhere else. Everything was just entirely heartbreaking to read and I could even feel some of your emotional pain.

    I'm extremely sorry, You didn't deserve any of that and it seems like everything went wrong in worst ways possible. But hey, at least that hard time is over and you've gone through it, You are now who you are today; a strong women who has now increased her knowledge day-by-day from all her actions, no matter the subject.

    And Tbh, I don't blame you. I bet that it can be very hard to raise a baby. Especially when you add up all that fear and heartbreak from your boyfriend on top of that. The pain world be covering up your clarity or how you'd normally carry out your actions.

    But truthfully, your boyfriend left you something after the abandonment; the baby. I could see where you're coming from regarding abortion putting myself in Your shoes, If I went through that heartbreak the way you did, I'd want to forget about him completely. Not have to live with the pain everyday for the rest of my live with the baby he left me with.

    But anyway, you eventually got over it. You kept going and now you've got a heart-warming story to tell. Nobody should go through any suffering and pain like that despite of that.

    But in the end, a lot of women or even immature young girls who have "baby fever" have gone through what you've experienced. But to end it off, Everything happens for a reason and no matter what happens, and you're in your place today.. for the better.

    Always be strong and keep going... God bless you!
  • RicanEyes
    Wow! This story brought tears to my eyes. I have 2 daughters I don't know what a abortion is. I am not trying to judge you because I was not in your shoes. A few of my sisters have had abortions but they never spoke of there experiences. My heart goes out to you. Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!
  • ForeverYours39
    Thank you for sharing your story so honestly and bluntly. I've always been pro-choice regardless of the reason the woman wanted to abort. This story really opened my eyes to the reality of the situation that women are put in. I wish there was counselling offered to women in this situation, or at least that the doctors and nurses around you offered comfort and support to patients going through this.

    I can't imagine how it must have been to go through this. You can tell us in a story like this, but we can never feel the pain you felt (physically and otherwise).

    And honestly I do have sympathy for you. I know you were reckless and had unprotected sex and that you chose to have an abortion, but you didn't choose to be left alone in this whole process. That man who left you was hardly a man at all and he should be ashamed of himself for not stepping up and supporting you in any way he could. It wasn't only your problem to deal with and I am so sorry that you had to go through this alone. I am so happy you chose to stay alive and that you didn't bring a child into this world who would have had a broken family and a depressed mother. It's a tough choice, but it was yours and yours alone to make.

    Thank you again for sharing.
  • Punkin45
    I've always been opposed to abortion because of what it does to women in desperate situations like yours. It's an industry, providing a "medical service" to those who feel they have no other option.

    I'm so very, very sorry for what you went through, and especially that you had to go through it alone. I know several other women who went through similar experiences with similar after effects. One of them participated in a group therapy kind of thing, where at the end of the series of meetings they did a funeral for their babies. She said it was wrenching but very healing. It gave her a sense of closure and forgiveness. I don't know how to find something like that but maybe it's worth looking into.

    Thank you for your extreme bravery in sharing this story.
    • Anonymous

      This was many years ago. I've made my peace now. I just felt that it may be a useful insight for some people. Thank you for your kind thoughts though.

    • Punkin45

      I'm glad to know that. I'm sure that despite the trolls it's helping educate a lot of people here.

    • Anonymous

      There's always going to be people who find comfort in trying to hurt others. I pay them no attention. I'm not here to justify myself, just to share the realities of the choice. Despite their claims I "took the easy way out" it is not an easy choice and it is not a pleasant experience you walk away from and forget.

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  • Bandit74
    This was pretty interesting.

    It seems different from what I normally hear on this website tho. Usually women here claim that its difficult for women to find a place willing to perform an abortion but it seems it was fairly easy for you :/

    I am also surprised you let the guy off the hook.

    Personally I'm pro-choice, although I do think there should be limits as to how late into the pregnancy it is allowed to be performed.

    I disagree with the life for the sake of life mentality that many people seem to have. Sure your baby never had the choice as to whether or not it wanted to live but technically neither did any of us. We didn't chose to exist or choose to be born, it was a choice forced upon us. Life seems like more of a chore at times. You spend most of your life trying to develop your skills, aqquire wealth, and gain the respect of your peers but in the end it doesn't matter. Regardless of if you were aborted as a fetus or have a geart attack at age 90, you lose everything either way.

    So in a way the abborted are luckier because they didn't have to suffer as much as people like you and when they die they aren't losing as much.
    • Anonymous

      I'm not American. The place this took place was a normal hospital, not a clinic like many are assuming and trying to imply they were making money or something similar.

      I didn't see it as letting him off. He had nothing to contribute so I thought it easier to just eliminate him from the equation at that time.

    • Bandit74

      True, it is probably different here.

      Yeah i guess you couldnt force him to contribute something he didn't have.

    • Anonymous

      He didn't seem to have any intention to support me emotionally (the financial is neither here nor there, with regards to him it wasn't something I expected or would have demanded in order that he be part of the baby's life).

  • bloodmountain1990
    Good take and I'm sorry to hear about that. I fully agree that even though I'm pro choice, abortion should never be a go to option.

    One time I had unprotected sex with a date and I asked her if she was on the pill and she she said she had an abortion before like that was her go to option if I got her pregnant. I mean I'm not judging her for the abortion but how she said so casually and the fact I didn't know her all that well.
  • RationalMale
    "Many men are anti-abortion, I can understand why they feel that way but they can never, ever understand what it is to be pregnant. Ever."

    This is where you lose all rights to sympathy.

    You made a choice. Your choices resulted in a life being created. It wasn't a A or B question--if you wanted, you could have carried the child to term and the baby could have gone to some couple that wanted a child to love. In addition, you could have gotten up to several grand a month in living expenses just to make life easier on you. That child would have grown up knowing that not only was he loved by his adopted mother and father, but his birth mother loved him enough she didn't take the fast choice.

    Instead, you decided to literally kill the child.

    You want to talk about how men don't know what it's like to be pregnant? You don't know what it's like to see innocent life taken against your will. You will never know the gut wrenching agony and betrayal and rage that many men experience, of knowing that they created a life with a woman, a life that nature and genetics and society told him he should and would cherish and love and protect... only for her to literally butcher it.
  • Chris0516
    You can never understand what it is like. To lose a child that you loved with your whole heart. Just to see them taken away from you.

    You hated your child right from the start.
    • Anonymous

      That isn't true.

    • Anonymous

      Although I sympathise with those who aren't able to be with their children, it is possible for me to experience.

    • Chris0516

      Yes it is. You said it yourself.

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  • Thatwoman
    Your story made me cry. I am strongly against abortion but, you have opened my eyes. I know what it's like to feel alone. Thank you so much.
  • Yanoa_Yanza
    I'd like to thank you for this story. I've honestly been wondering for some time what someone that experiences this, has to go through.
    I honestly would like GAG to have more stories and experiences like this, rather than just 'how to' s and other tips
  • Notreallyhere
    I don't really know what to say. i knew I wasn't the only one who suffered like that, but hearing someone else echo the hopelessness and self hatred I felt, then knowing you survived it too is inspiring.
  • QueenofSexyFoxes
    I am anti abortion but I understand your views and why you did what you had to do. But I can't get your words out of my head where you talked about what it looked like. To see a life that was taken just laying there, it sends me chills. No offence.
  • martyfellow
    Sure you deserve sympathy. This would have been a lot less mentally and physically traumatic if you could have talked to someone right away and had the abortion after just 4-5 weeks, no identifiable fetus at that point... and less pain involved.
  • oddwaffle
    I am a guy, I don't get pregnant. However, what you did was courageous. The world was against you and you were alone. You didn't give in, you didn't give up. You did what is most important to you. You made a choice and live with it.

    That's what matters. The other idiots can drown. Your life, your consequences, your choice. None of them are there to see it. The guys in Congress? They left the moment their job is over. The guys from these talks? They aren't doing anything.

    Probably the only ones matter would be the nurses and doctors who helped you. However, you have to live with your choice. So yoi are the most important person the whole way through.

    My advice is this. Economic reasons is responsible for 70% of all divorces. That means money stress will destroy relationship. If you aren't making enough then don't choose the guys who barely make end meets. If you can, always pick the guy with some financial sense. Never go deeper into debt if you can help it. Be debt free asap.
  • Minxxie
    This is beautifully written, I am sorry for all the close minded anger filled people who ill give you hate for this.
  • KawaiiPie67
    Wow. You're really really brave to write this. I love how descriptive it is. I haven't been able to get a full story on this from anyone b4, so thank you for posting.
  • gaaxure
    "Men can never, ever understand what it is to be pregnant. Ever."

    I can understand how it feels to be alive. Something your child will never feel because you were too selfish. You didn't want a child - understandable. You could have given it up for adoption.
    • hey maybe that child would have ended up like me better off dead and not knowing of the place cuz honestly this place is 2 steps down from being hell all it needs is a little more fire

  • CoolSky01
    didn't read it all but to sum it up you fell in love with a guy who you thought was great, had great sex with him and hen got pregnant and things went weird, both of you started drifting apart and when you told him he left you on your own, so you decided to get an abortion which was a big mess but you got rid of the baby to continue your normal life...

    Look thats shitty i admit, you had a shitty boyfriend and that situation was not easy at all, but getting an bortion like that? it happened after passionate sex and is the result of love, even if he left you on your own you aborted a life that was growing inside of you to go back to what? working hard? you should've taken the responsibility of your actions and had that baby, who knows maybe your boyfriend would've come back after seeing his newly born baby, in my honest opinion an aborion wasn't the best option.
    • GingerBear

      So tell me, would you prefer another child growing up with a resentful mother? Or another child in the foster care system? Do you think it would be more helpful for young mother to be suffering from anxiety and depression, or who maybe would have already killed herself by the time the baby was born? Or worse, committing suicide and orphaning the child, because she simply can't take it anymore?
      Do you think any of those are a more responsible option than a woman having a medical abortion, and coping with what happened, and then having a baby when she is ready for it?

      Think before you post. Or at least finish reading before you judge.

    • @GingerBear People say you can't be pro-life if you haven't walked in these girls shoes, but who can walk in the babies shoes? The only moral compass you can look to on this is not the girls who have had an abortion, it is the children who have survived them. I must say the problem is scientific. Science proves that life starts at cell division. A fetus is completely human, and abortion is scientifically murder. This, it is in violation of the constitutions of many countries. US included. The only way to move forward and satisfy all camps is to make abortion illegal and increase sex ed and contribute to safe sex. If we removed planned parenthood and created an organization that worked with parents to encourage safe sex, good education, and further research we would solve the problem in a few years. We need parents to be more involved in their children's lives.

    • GingerBear

      @Jerrod_Lynwood No. Don't make up facts. Scientists have not reached a consensus about when life begins.

      Have you heard of body autonomy? It's the concept that protects a person from thing they don't consent to. For example, you cannot perform a medical procedure without informed consent. You cannot take an organ from a person to save another, unless they consent. You cannot take an organ from a DEAD person, in order to save another life, without the prior consent of the deceased or their family. And you're saying that women should be forced to carry a fetus they don't want, to save a life that, legally, isn't even considered a life. Do you see the problem with this? That dead bodies will hold more rights than a pregnant woman? Where is the sense in that?

      Do you know what is going to happen if abortion is outlawed? Women will turn to illegal, unsafe abortions, and deaths due to botched abortions will skyrocket. Your proposal will solve nothing.

    • Show All
  • DarkManX
    Your story was really touchful... Does made me thing how my ex girlfriend went trought abortion and what did she really felt during this period...
    But the truth is that nobody may know, how you really felt before and after the abortion, till they meet it in real life.

  • RegalRoyal
    :'(
    That is the most horrifying story ever. I could not of even experienced. But could you just imagine something for me. Imagine what it would of been like to have that child in your arms. You didn't hate it, you hated him, and you hated yourself and you hated the fact that you were pregnant. You are damn right you deserved your pain but not all of it. Do I feel sorry for you, YES but no. I feel sorry because you didn't have what you needed in life, I don't feel sorry because that was your choice. I really just wish you would of weighed your options. Abortion is really a wrong choice for any woman. It can affect her own life and screw her up, and screw her organs up. And look at yourself... you made a choice like I said. In life, everyone has to make their own choice, it helps them learn. As for you, I really hope you understand, that you are so much better now, that, that was the most scary and terrifying experience that is in the past now, even though it may be hard to forget. This is just my opinion so please don't take it offensively. I really wish you did have someone there for you in your time. You just do what's best for your life now. You can overcome this. <33 My heart with you.
    • Anonymous

      I still support a woman's right to choose. This may be hard for people to understand but I do. I also understand all of your points. Each year I think of how old that child would be and how my life would have been different. The holding the child when it arrived was one of my greatest fears: I knew I could never have given up that baby once I held it (that's why adoption wasn't an option for me I thought) but I never once thought I could manage being a mother. Not in the mental state I was in.

      Thank you for your comments.

    • RegalRoyal

      <33 you made it though. Be proud of what you can accomplish now.

  • coolgirl19
    aw wow, ofc i feel sympathy.. It makes me so sad to read stories about men so easily abandoning women.. this is not ur fault.. this is unfair.. i hope u healed by now i hope u find happiness.
  • microcephalicguy
    I wish my parents had decided to abort me or ny mother had a miscarriage, i woukd do anything to turn back time and make that happen
    • Anonymous

      Why do you feel that way? Many people spend years wishing such things and manage to come through and find something worth living for.

  • RJGraveyTrain
    This was one of the best, most powerful reads I have had in a long time. G@G is often a plethora of tips, tricks, complaints and moaning, but this was truly insightful. This really drove a message that I agree whole heartedly with and I commend you for your courage regardless of your anonymity. I agree that abortion can be the right choice at times but as you said, it shouldn't be the first choice as it is not a quick fix. The mental struggles that go along with such a thing are quite real, and you are a perfect example of that.

    Really, bravo. Bravo.
  • ted22
    Yo this is some deep shit right here. Are you still in the abusive relationship?
    • Anonymous

      No I'm now in a very happy relationship and have been for a long while.

    • ted22

      Wish I could chat private, so many questions.

    • Anonymous

      I'll happily answer them here, but not in PM.

    • Show All
  • abundantlyrich
    i just imagined what that child could have grown up to like...
  • Donniej
    Heart warming story
    , but tell me are you pro-choice when it comes to financial a abortion
  • Dog19
    So the baby ruined your life?
    • Anonymous

      No. It did not.

  • homper87
    I have no words
  • yotes-of-472
    That's horrible but why write story anonymously?
  • Anonymous
    Wow! I give you a lot of credit for sharing your story. As I could never imagine what you went through, you had to do what was right for you at that time. You had to make that decision and go through it alone which is very brave. I'm pro choice and always will be. If I was in your situation at that time, I would have probably done the same. Thank you for sharing.
  • Anonymous
    She sounds like trash. I bet the baby was half black. Good riddance.
  • Anonymous
    Wow... This was so sad but such a great take. I am pregnant now and I considered abortion, I couldn't go through with it and this has actually made me glad I didn't. So many people do it so matter of fact and talk about it like it's nothing afterwards. This was so real. It's great you've written this so people know what it's really like. I've always been pro choice but at the same time don't like abortion. I didn't know how strong you have to be to do it. I do now. You're really strong for being able to deal with it all. And deal with it alone.
    I know from this now that I'll never have one. It's so hard. It's not just a simple thing like people make out it is.
  • Anonymous
    I'll give you all the sympathy you deserve.
    However, it was only your personal experience and this myTake simply sounds like a pro-life rant disguised as a sob story.
  • Anonymous
    Your vile
    • Anonymous

      *you're

    • Minxxie

      HAHAHAHA

  • Anonymous
    I do not,
    want to try and gain your sympathy
    i just want you to know what exactly what abortion did to me
    • Anita_467

      That wasn't the point of this Take at all. She just wanted to spread some light about this controversy. Many people argue and debate about this subject without even being educated about it or experiencing it.

  • Anonymous
    I was raped when I was 13 and got an abortion. I remember what it was like, being in that cold white room, holding the nurses hand because your prolife mother couldn't even look at you, let alone be in the same room while you were killing an innocent baby. I almost threw up when I saw the little heartbeat that that horrible man had forced upon me. It was only the size of a peanut, but it hurt like I was being stabbed in the uterus. I knew that killing it was wrong, but I knew that if I didn't get an abortion, I would never be able to love that baby, I would probably kill myself before even giving birth. I hated myslrf for that, and I still do, but I would do it again if I had to.
  • Anonymous
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I believe you will help someone to understand the process and that it doesn't just go away, and disappear with an abortion, the thoughts stay with you, the wondering about it, stays with you, so it's not a cure all. I am a believer in a woman's right to choose. I think people assume that adoption should be the answer for all women who don't want their babies, but not every child is adopted, and the foster care system is awful for children, and a lot of kids just go through the system until they are spat out at the end feeling unwanted and unloved. I think when people go through things like this, you should share with others. Maybe your story will help someone demand a partner put on a condom, or think twice about who they are with before they even get to sex, or to think about adoption or to ultimately decide that they want an abortion. I think given your situation and age, you did the only thing you thought you could do and were doing the best you could. No one knows, even after reading your story, what it was like for you and what all you really went through, so I'm not the one to pass judgement on you, nor do I think you should be judged for what you did. Simply put, some life lessons we learn are much bigger than others.
  • Anonymous
    While im pro choice. I can never understand what goes through a woman mind of aborting. Even you now , who saw your child in a position where it was suckling its thumb and had an eye how you are still in support of abortion. Yes, abortion shouldn't be a contraceptive but tens of thousands of abortions are performed every year in the U. S and so it only obvious it being used as a contraceptive. I also wonder why dont women use protection, you know you have to suffer the consequences of not being safe. Their is a huge contradiction in society, noone uses protection that they could get at the same places they get abortions.
    • Chris0516

      I am Pro-Life. Rape notwithstanding. Because it isn't a choice.

  • Anonymous
    The worst thing about abortion is that it's legal, and people say it's ok. Unstable women are lead to commit murder because they are blinded to what it really is. And not any victim, but their own child.
    Anyone who supports abortion is supporting women to sabotage themselves psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Not to mention supporting the murder of an entirely innocent human being.
    There's a lot of things to get furious about, but this issue hits me hard. It's insidious. Makes me weep.
    In my view, you're no worse than any other human being. You didn't get the help you needed, I hope you get it soon.
    • Toad-1

      If abortion isn't legal women will still find away to abort it like with a coat hanger. Completely unsafe and damgerous. So for those people it should be legal, with limits and regulations in place if course

    • stallion12

      Yes i know, it is sickening isn't it.

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