Why Girls Have it Easier Than Guys in the Dating World

[Anonymous]

Guys are the pursuers, and girls are the pursued. Guys are expected to make the first move in about 99% of cases, and girls can just sit back and see who approaches them, and go from there. Granted, not all girls are getting contacted by guys who like them all the time, but several have it so easy.

The girls that don't get approached are in sort of a tough spot because they may have to approach eventually. What I don't understand is why don't more girls just approach guys they like? Fear of rejection? We deal with that all the time. It sucks, but we have to deal with it if we ever want a partner. I've never been approached even though I've caught several girls looking at me before. Oh well.

Anyways, there is definitely a higher percentage of girls that have guys contacting them right now than the other way around. I currently have zero girls that text me, and I feel almost ashamed to try and text girls in my contact list because I know that they would never text me first and frankly don't care about me. As an unsuccessful guy, it is very disheartening to never be contacted first by a girl even asking how I'm doing as a friendly inquiry, and they just don't seem to be willing to put in nearly as much effort as guys.

Not just in the dating world, but in everyday friendly relationships as well. I'm absolutely biased based on me and my friend's experiences, but that's just how I've seen it work through the college years. Most girls are honestly apathetic towards us if they don't find us attractive, and if they do we have to start every conversation. Not to mention the fickle nature; if you don't make a move within a day or two of meeting them the interest is already lost. There is no effort put in by them, and frankly it makes me want to give up.

[Leoon]

I completely understand and agree with what you're saying (not everything). However Im not the kind of girl that will make the first step unfortunately. I hope I will be that kind of girl one day. Maybe as you said because of the fear of rejection and also because of lack of confidence (which some boys may also have of course). I feel also its because of how the society , since we are children, taught us that boys need to make the first step. At the end you said that girls put no effort in and I can't agree with that. Sometimes Im the one that contact first but Im usually never the one that flirt first, I wait for the guy to start flirting. But then if Im really interested by the guy I will "put efforts in". Its normal, to build a relation it needs two people to interact.
I think its good to talk about that, I already thought about it but its true that I always take the facility because I know that : "the boys need to make to first step". Next time I see a boy that I like I will try to think about that and maybe I will make the first step. With time I think more girls are going to do it, maybe with having this kind of discussion with girls you know might help. there's already a lot of girl that do it and maybe soon there'll be as much girls as boys that make the first step.
(sorry if there's mistakes English isn't my mother tongue)

[Anonymous]

Girls have it easier than guys because there is double standard in how the world must treat them. They're equal, but men must sustain chivalry in the relationship world because women are too delicate to be rejected.
Women only have it easier with guys who are chasing tail, or the guys who lack real masculinity. That's why half of women are emotionally broken by the time you get to them.
The fact of the matter is, women are never going to be the approachers in comparison to men. You as a man have to decide what you want out of women then act accordingly. What you can do is make women want you to notice them. And to make women want you to want them, you need to become your best self. Stop worrying about them and stop chasing them! Become the person that you believe you are or want to be and suitable women will follow. After a while, you'll just have to grow a pair and approach a female that is showing interest that you want to talk to.

[myTake Owner]

Couldn't agree more man. I'm more or less gonna call it quits for now

[Anonymous]

I feel uncomfortable about most people approaching me. Though now I've been through some stuff not just in relationships but through work that caused PTSD.

Some men approached me when younger & it was hard sometimes to gauge what they wanted. I have a title in some countries which my grandparents passed to me. A few guys knew of it and only approached me because they wanted a title or perceptions of what it would get them. Almost the male version of a female gold digger.

Other guys approached me because of my work I used to do. Now I thought of this as one nerd or less conforming person finding a friend. But after having 2 break into my home & search it for engineering blueprints & violating part of my workplace. Well it makes it clear that there are yet more reasons for someone to play the "I like you" game without meaning it. Though one did apologize & say he liked me but he had a job to do as well. The blueprints in question were for government projects.

At one point under a stage name I had some fun doing work in the entertainment industry in a country that wasn't the most techy at the time. Other countries weren't always interested in countries that didn't speak their language so I was largely ignored outside of where I was. In that industry sometimes you fake relationships. I had two friends I did this with. It stops people hassling you for dates sometimes or certain types of press. But when a guy liked me there it was because they wanted to tell their buddies they got near me & if I didn't bite suddenly I was some arrogant snob they told their friends about. I didn't know them, they weren't interested in the real me, & why would I want to date someone only interested for fame or to try to sell lies or privacy to newspapers?

Other places they just knew me as me. Not me as my work, not me as an performer, not me as an athlete, but it was never the right time or they were too shy & I was was to shell shocked to deal with it. Some people played games where they said they wanted friends with benefits & tried to convince me, they got jealous, messed with a variety of things in my life, & just created a lot of drama. They would say "I don't love you but I wanted a kid & your smart so the kid will be so you should be flattered I messed with your birth control & got you pregnant." I didn't feel flattered I was angry & they knew I wouldn't abort it..

I think its good if your friends/share interests & can be reasonably honest.

[myTake Owner]

Wow it sounds like you've had some really rough times with terrible guys. You sound like a really gifted and driven girl who came across a lot of awful people, and for that I am truly sorry. I at a young age am already developing similar trust issues with girls, but on a less serious level because it's just dating, not people trying to do awful things to me. Being friends first at least allows you to trust one another, although that risks them losing potential romantic interest. It's kind of whatever though. Love is a wild card, you just never know. Can't justify any of it, just have to keep on keeping on. I'm really sorry though, you seem like a really interesting girl anyone would be lucky to date and you just got disrespected over and over, and that's just not right.

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks I'm doing ok. It's military service being in engineering could be fun but being in field work could be hell. I miss the fun stuff of course and some of the silly stuff. But I don't miss the type of people that were negative that it brought my way.

I do still believe that most people are good at heart and the nasty ones are in the minority. But I'm just hesitant when it comes to people getting close in some ways. It wasn't helped by people during my brain aneurysm messing with what memories I had and self esteem. That's years in the past now. A few of the guys I knew years ago showed up again. One asked if I was single. He's still attractive and from my injuries I don't feel attractive. I'm not sure if he said it to make fun of me or if he was being silly. The others haven't said anything other than my once nephew who I sometimes bowl with. But he was being normal.

Career wise at least I was genuinely respected and liked there before except in military undercover.

[Anonymous]

Well, honestly, whether or not I text a guy first had absolutely nothing to do with fear of rejection. It has everything to do with fear of being, "too easy." You see, more than being rejected, I can only day this regarding myself, as I'm not all women, we fear being perceived as too easy to obtain, abs therefore would be taken advantage of. And then there's the chase. Quite often, I've clubs that I've made the first move, only to end up hopelessly chaffing my own tail hoping the guy would like me back, only to realize it's never going to happen. Even worse, in one instance, that guy ton advantage of my want to actually have someone, and kept saying he was going to take me on a real date, ask me too be his girlfriend, but because I had l pulled back being sick of chasing, he wouldn't, then I'd go crawling back because I'm pathetic, and no one every liked me back before. So, this continued until I was completely done and told him to take a hike. I'm telling you this story as an explanation. The reason why, is that, now, I will only make the initial move, and let him chase me. I suggest dates, but he has a good amount of control over when they happen. Now, I'm headed towards my first actual boyfriend. (That other guy was my first kiss, which only happened last year, to tell you how pathetic I am). So, basically, my point here, is that women don't approach first, or text first, because when they have, they were too easy, and too l available, and were taken advantage of. Honestly, I think my way now is best. Approach if he doesn't, let him decide the first date, and then trade back and forth on who texts first or asks on dates. That makes it more fair to both sides. Also, whoever asks, pays, until a little later in the relationship, then splits are encouraged.

[myTake Owner]

Hey I'm 21 and haven't even kissed a girl yet, you're not the pathetic one at all haha. But what you're saying makes perfect sense. Both parties must put in some effort in order for the relationship to be worth it. I've learned that since no girls I've met want to put in effort for me when I try for them, they're not worth it. Hopefully one day I'll find a sweet girl who will put in some effort. I still feel a bit pathetic knowing that I'll go through college without even kissing someone though :(

[Anonymous]

I'm sick of hearing this. The only time I've ever been given interest buy a guy were from people that legitimately made me feel concerned for my safety and/or were twice my age.

I had zero dating experience in high school, and the only dating experience I've had is thanks to social media. In which most encounters i did have to deal with rejection, when they failed to ask for a second date. And the guys that *i* would messenged never bothered asking for a date. I got lucky with my current boyfriend accepting my message and agreeing to my invitation to meet me, but it had been completely unpresented to that point.

[myTake Owner]

Unfortunately there are a lot of douchebag guys out there. Yeah, everyone has their troubles in the dating world. I honestly wrote this when I was in a super bitter mood. I've never gotten any, and I honestly can't really blame myself for it. The girls I've liked have turned out to be c***s or have lead me on, it's such bullshit. I really just want to not like girls anymore because it's so frustrating having that urge and never having sex when I'm 21 for christ sake. Thankfully I have other things that keep me going but still, fuck.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I definitely remember having similar feelings but from a female point of view so I can sympathize to a degree. But at the same time I just want to remind you how many guys your age are in the same boat. I see it all the time on gag your age and older. I've also known a couple guys around the age of 30 who could say the same thing. So its really not all that uncommon.

And as a woman I would prefer a guy with no sexual experience over too much experience. I feel like the highier the number the less honorable of character. Maybe its not always true, but for the most part I would think.

[myTake Owner]

Wow that's super rare, I love that. I prefer a girl with little experience for the same reasons. I'd ideally fall in love with a girl and she'd be the one and only. Deep down it'd be cool to do it with different girls, but I value virgins more so than girls who sleep around. Not saying if you've had sex with a couple guys you're a bad person, but girls who sleep with like 4 different guy each week or whatever is disgusting to me

[Opinion Owner]

I hear you!

[JCB314159]

I can relate. I never dated in high school, and only got rejection in college. My sexual self esteem was low enough that when my ex-girlfriend started hitting on me, I thought that she was just being friendly because I simply couldn't imagine that a woman would be interested in me. This actually lasted for three whole months (Ok, I also have a tendency to be simply clueless). Thank God she was persistent.

After her, my only dating experience has been through Match. com, and while I've had a good number of dates, they've all been last dates :(

[Anonymous]

This is so true. They are the keepers of everything. And sadly don't give out signals if they like you. It almost seems like you get punished by behaving respectfully compared to a brash person.

Can u check out mytake? It's about 2 guys (both her friends)? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a30669-do-women-have-dirtier-sex-with-guys-who-don-t-care-about-them-what

[Opinion Owner]

Would love to hear your views on my take!

[Anonymous]

are you actually kidding me. you are the born proof of a total pussy, and here is why.

from reading the replies you gave down below and the last bit of your crying post it seems like you have little to no experience in the dating world what so ever. not only have you not kissed a girl yet (as you claimed) i am guessing that you are still a virgin.. what gives you the audacity to think you can write bullcrap like this, and yet have the experience of a fetus? did you ever think that maybe you were so unlucky with women is because you are like a limp cloth in the wind? get some back bone, and not only that... get laid my god.

[Opinion Owner]

boo hoo i want to give up on girls because one hasn't kissed me yet... booooo hooo =(

[myTake Owner]

I wrote it when I was in a horrible mood, and same for most of the replies. It's not total bullcrap though, you guys do have it easier. I am still a virgin, and am saying it based off of my experiences. Limp cloth in the wind? What's that supposed to mean? I have plenty of guy friends who think I'm cool, but not any real friends who are girls. I don't really care if I ever get laid honestly. It would be nice but it's not worth it

[myTake Owner]

And instead of attacking me, why not try to help? That's what this site is for you know.

[myTake Owner]

And here's some food for thought: If you've been treated horribly, rejected, and hurt every time you try to get something you want, would you want to keep going through the pain and never achieving your goal, wasting valuable time and emotional energy? Because I don't. I'd rather be alone with an awesome career and hobbies than have a job but always being sad about not getting a girl. A month ago I was an emotional wreck for no good reason, but right now I couldn't care less, and that makes me dangerous. Relationships and sex just aren't worth the time and effort in my opinion, maybe some day I'll meet a girl who can prove me wrong

[Opinion Owner]

i did help, i gave you some nice cold hard love. and what do you do? take offence and start crying a bunch more. you want a girlfriend? man up. there is no other great word of encouragement... i can't possibly say man up in a nicer way..
you will find there are people who will say or do nastier things than what i have said.

[Opinion Owner]

it is a cold, harsh world out there. i have been hurt so many times by guys.. given my best and my all and come out used and abused. it doesn't make me sexist... i just think how can i improve myself. because i am the one choosing these types of guys.
think about that

[myTake Owner]

Yeah you gotta get better at choosing guys then. Start choosing guys who will treat you well and not just for sex, but someone who will actually love and support you even when you're having a hard time, whether it be with a job or something else. Not to sound like I'm "crying" again, but I've learned a valuable lesson lately: Sometimes trying too hard can be a very, very bad thing. I feel like I've tried too hard with girls, and that's hurt me a lot, and trying and caring much less would help a lot.

[Opinion Owner]

you shouldn't have to try hard at getting a girlfriend. if a girl really likes you she will show it. nothing should be forced, that should be your first red flag to know you are doing things wrong. i admit i was harsh and i apologise, i have dealt with a lot of MGTOW men on here who are relentless so i got to have a cold finger. you are still young and still learning the ways of the world. instead of trying too hard, sit back and watch people from a distance. study their body language/ facial expressions. watch youtube dating advice for men to learn that sort of stuff. i recommend DatingLogic. search him up. he has helped me and so many others have such truth to their advice that it's made me relationship smart. you will become a chick magnet one day, you just need to understand people are much more complex than we want them to be

[lonelywolf11]

I personally peruse guys if I like them. I totally agree.

[myTake Owner]

That's good. There's definitely not enough girls like that. One girl who I still really like seemed to like me for a while, and it just wasn't the right time for me to pursue. But now I'm trying to act on it and she can't even text me back. It just doesn't make any sense. I'm planning on trying to plan something with her when we get back to school and if she refuses or ignores then I'm going to call it quits

[lonelywolf11]

I hate how so many girls are waiting and complain about how lonely they are and how the person they like doesn't notice them. They need to learn to get off there ass and talk to them.

[Jamesol1]

I have never had a woman approach me/initiate chatting (for anything really not even the time). Just wondering... I catch a woman looking at me.. (this may sound so stupid but i lack social experience greatly)... she is smiling... what does it mean? Like does she think I'm funny looking? Or she likes the way I come across/look? This is like randomly walking around the shops/street. Don't get me wrong it happens rarely but then i dont go out much.

I don't want to smile back and feel like a mug when she was actually smiling for a bad reason.

[lonelywolf11]

@Jamesol1 No always smile back. Unless she is a total bitch smiling is friendly or I find you attractive.

[joemm]

Heck yea they do. We have to be strong yet sensitive, assertive but not aggressive and chivalrous but certainly not sexist. It is a fine line for sure. I even started using one of those penis health cremes every day because a women commented on my "dry penis skin." Brutal. But the creme seems to be working as I am getting some positive feedback. Bottom line.. I feel your pain, fellas!

[SightingsOfLaziness]

Personally I like to reel in the guy, rather than being pursued. I lose interest if the guy tries too hard. I find it way cuter if the guy plays a little hard to get. But a sense of humor, a bit of patience, and an honest need to get to know the girl you want she will open up to you rather easily.

[myTake Owner]

Fair, but where I'm at right now it's just way too complicated. When you've been devastated over and over again, you just need a break. I'm going to be taking a long break, and if a girl wants to try to get me she can and I'll be open, but I've put in enough effort for a little while. I don't hate women, but I'm tired of being rejected and toyed with. My heart is in a billion pieces at this point

[SightingsOfLaziness]

Then good on you for not trying to fill in the cracks with a flaky relationship. I've seen far too many people who are scared of being single.

[myTake Owner]

I've been single my whole life haha, how could I be scared of it anymore?

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Yeah but this is just human nature. Either pursue them or someone else will. And you know what, so what if they dot like you. There's so much more to life then dating girls seriously.

[myTake Owner]

And that sir is exactly why I'm done with it. It distracts me much more than it should and I'm so unlucky/bad at it, it's just not worth the trouble

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

I feel you. I dated and fucked about 11 girls in high school and honestly it's not even worth all that effort just to hold their hands and get blow jobs and have something to stick your penis in. Screw that. Since high school I've actually ignored girls and just pursued pleasure in other ways like movies and friends and playing games. Oh well.

[myTake Owner]

I can't speak for all women, but most that I've met just aren't good/fun people to be around. They're exhausting, bipolar, or boring, stupid, or a combo of the four in almost all cases. So being able to make love and have sex would be amazing, but I've all but concluded that it's just not worth it. I pursue pleasure in just about the same ways nowadays as well. Oh well indeed haha

[LiveFreeorDieHard]

Yeah lots of girls expect you to be amazing and be everything yet not do shit. Screw it, I don't care anymore. I just wished my borrher and friends would stop talking about the girls they bone because I'm sick of here it as well.

[LittleSally]

It's hilarious you think so, but hey, whatever makes you feel better about not getting dates...

[myTake Owner]

It's ok, I'm over it

[LittleSally]

Smart and frankly, a healthy choice. Less stress and anxiety.

[myTake Owner]

Admittedly there's always going to be that urge, but I haven't dated my whole life I figure I can wait until I do feel a strong connection with someone. Whether that's in a year or in 10 years, it is what it is. I've tried and failed enough times at this point, and I've learned the lesson of not being overly invested in someone who isn't invested in you, so I am starting to feel a bit more apathetic towards the whole ordeal since there haven't been many girls who were invested in even friendship to begin with.

[myTake Owner]

I should say whether that's in a year or in 10 years or never just to cover my tracks haha. Can't have too high of expectations with this sort of stuff

[This_is_my_username]

i know this is pure rubbish... but why is it that women are always painted in pink and men in blue?

bahhahahahah

[myTake Owner]

Maybe because pink is deemed a feminine color and dark blue masculine? I don't really know haha

[This_is_my_username]

Eh stereotypes are not mah thing. In the olden times pink was a mans colour and blue a females. Fun fact

[myTake Owner]

I wear pink on occasion and think blue looks hot on most girls so I couldn't tell you. It is what it is, I didn't put the picture there someone else did haha

[dwiller943]

Not for me. I can easily get any type of of man; EXCEPT for the type of man that would be right for me. While men cannot get any type woman; EXCEPT the type of woman that would be right for him.

[John_Doesnt]

It's pretty easy to get a date with cleavage and ass.

[myTake Owner]

Indeed. I'm done trying to get with girls for at least a year or two. Fuck it

[PlanetOfTheIdiots]

you won't be missed =]

[Jamesol1]

@PlanetOfTheIdiots This is the kind of arrogance that annoys me. Women have this perception that they are so attractive and great. Most guys who approach you likely just want to have sex with you once... also I don't think i have ever found a woman genuinely funny lol is it just me?

[myTake Owner]

@Jamesol1 No, I agree 100%. I've never met a genuinely good girl in my whole life. I'm starting to jump on the wagon of just trying to use them for sex if I can. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

[PlanetOfTheIdiots]

@Jamesol1 Arrogance... are you fking kidding me. it's only easy for women to get attention with cleavage and ass because you men can't get self control to not gork at it. don't blame us for shit you do... we were just born with that shit. delusional pricks

[Jamesol1]

@myTake Owner, Exactly. Just use them for sex until you find a decent one. Lots of women do the same thing with the most attractive men (except they think these guys may want to stay with them... of which they don't).

[PlanetOfTheIdiots]

@Jamesol1 i know i use guys :)

[anonman32]

They seem like insecure girls to me. Why do you even want to date those?

[HonestWhiteGuy]

They do but nothing you can about it, its even more so in our western society because of feminism

[dreammanofone]

Its always been like that. I believe it puts some kind of excitement in all this.

[DrTruth]

Pussy cost money. Dick is for free. - Chris Rock

[Anonymous]

The grass is always greener...