False rape accusations are supposed to be less than10% of reported assaults. The higher figure cited by MGTOW and MRA blogs includes recanted claims and dropped charges. There are many reasons why a victim might recant - they are not necessarily lying.
There's either pressure from the families to recant, or the victim gets the sense that the prosecutor isn't taking the case seriously, or they're just plain scared of having to relive their trauma in front of a hostile audience. It's not like our culture treats rape victims well. "Are you *sure* that you didn't lead them on? Then why did you wear that? Why were you drinking?" -> they haven't said it, but it is heavily implied that it's the victim's fault that they were attacked.
I see. At the time all this happened in my own situation - it would have been considered mischief to get in too deep only to drop the charges. I had considered it myself because my own situation was taking over a year to get through and I was absolutely spent. I was told that the defense lawyers do this to try and hope the victim will become exhausted by it all. In his case he was so screwed because of what evidence there was, and his lawyer did everything possible to delay for the stupidest shit each time. Knowing this was a typical tactic, I kept going and got through it. I'm sorry real victims feel that they need to drop it before the outcome, but I also feared being charged with mischief.
Why comment like this are non-deleted meanwhile mine was deleted it? Because of people like astoriana an they support to a system who send to jail innocent male. We are male we are a shit but at least we should bann this people from here or not? @Ozanne did you delte my comment? why this one from astoriana is not deleted too?
How the fuck can be false accusations less than 10% if whoever women can get on problem to whoever men. Is obvious that if people can accuse someone just with their word, everyone would accuse to everyone, people would accuse their neighbours because whatever thing. And this is what happen here, women who accuse men of rape her are, most of them, rejected women, or jaleous, or exgrilfrienss who want to be on a relationship with him and he doesn't want.
atoriana is actually the exact reflection of MGTOW spewing false facts. we will NEVER know the true statistic of false claims because some women withdraw their cases for numbers of reasons such as it not being a strong enough claim, or even being harassed. its a very tricky situation, but I can't stand when people give false facts because they are to emotional.
"False rape accusations are supposed to be less than10% of reported assaults"
We can't really know that for sure, not even in theory, just like we can't know how many people really commit creditcard fraud. But even 10% would be significant.
"There are many reasons why a victim might recant - they are not necessarily lying."
Definitely true, but the reverse also happens: someone wants to recant but a judge/counselor, etc... doesn't believe them or think they're being coerced, stockholm syndrome, etc...
In the end these figures are heavily depended on pre-existing assumptions. If your pre-existing assumption is that false-rape accusations are very common your report will say "10% recanted, but others got away with their lies", if you believe false accusations are uncommon it would say "10% recanted but part of them were coerced to recant". I will say this: if there exist people crazy enough to rape then there exist people crazy enough to falsely accuse people of rape.
An example of a reversed case is @AlphaMale1 's comment in this thread. All of this is really really similar to the "debate" on prostitution. Self-proclaimed "experts" invent their own truths that amount to little more than circular reasoning. Both victims of rape and false rape accusations get ignored because ultimately the loudest voices in the "debate" are more interested in making a point or displaying value politics than in actually helping people.
please never go to jury duty. Why shouldn't you believe the person accused? its people who think like you who makes it possible for people who were false accused to lose their job, their social life, scholarships etc.. and worst case, be thrown in jail later to be found innocent. This is why the death penalty is frowned upon. Way to many people using emotion instead of logic. a judge doesn't assume anything and if he/she does, then they are not cut out for that walk. I dont know who exactly you are talking about when you say ''We always believe victims of theft. '' but thats not true either. There are a lot of insurance companies who hire private investigators for that same reason. its innocent until proven guilty, not believe the ''victim'' even though you have no proof of it. these are peoples lives that you are playing with
@FreedomByChoice and what makes you think that a rape victim (who has definitely been raped) suffers no consequences of being attacked? I think empathy is what makes us human. Otherwise there would be no laws at all. Anyone could do anything to anyone else and no one would care.
I understand the word due process, but you saying ''we should believe the victim'' made that null. if you believe the victim, you basically think the accused is automatically a rapist. Empathy is the same reason why the death penalty was written off. To many emotions flying around in the court room calling for someones head. you said it yourself, you like to assume the victim tells the truth, without proof.
@FreedomByChoice I believe that the policy with respect to rape ought to be "trust, but verify." Calling people who come forward with rape allegations liars out of the gate does not produce justice.
''and what makes you think that a rape victim (who has definitely been raped) ''
this is the scenario you first gave ''so for you, every rape accusation should be disbelieved because they could be lying?'' dont go on a tangent. you gave the possibility of an accuser and off the bat assuming she is telling the truth just because of your emotion. In court its innocent until proven guilty, not think the guy is a rapist because she said so
@FreedomByChoice how does calling someone a liar from the get go produce evidence? It's rare that rape cases go to trial. There are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits in the US. It's exceedingly rare that rape cases have a verdict. Charges are often dropped. Victims don't trust the police, who make every effort to humiliate and dissuade them from pursuing justice. Men like you don't want to believe that rapes actually happen and that rapists get away with it. But women like me know that it happens all the time.
''how does calling someone a liar from the get go produce evidence''
its called the burden of proof. Also, I have said multiple times that a judge doesn't assume either side is lying without some form of evidence otherwise they are not cut out for that work so before talking about ''men like me'' actually read over my points. I never said to assume someone is lying, and people who shame someone making a claim is equally as bad as people like you, who automatically say she is right and the guy is a rapist. People like me know that people like you are the type to ruins someones life simply because of biased behavior in courts siding with one party with no proof simply because of your raging emotions
and you dont want to belive that there are false accusers by undermining them with false stats which is why I called you the exact reflection of a MGTOW. I know rape happens, but you dont know that false accusations happen. you are to narrow minded
you have no proof of it being rare because there will never be an accurate stat for such a tricky topic. Anyone who claims they know how often it happens or how rare it is is lying to themselves. you sound like a misandrist talking about ''guys like me'' who dont want to ''believe rape'' and also trying to justify assuming the accuser is guilty with no proof. it goes both ways, and you are just self projecting your hate like the MGTOW do.
@FreedomByChoice I thought you said you were done. Either shut up or bring something novel to the conversation, instead of this endless cycle of nonsense.
you're right, False accusations are rare. So rare that the FBI reports that since they have been tracking DNA statistcis a steady 20% of all of their rape investigations have excluded the primary suspect by DNA. Which means either the person falsely reported the rape, or the accuser had no idea who actually raped her.
So please tell me how false accusations are rare please
it seems when this subject is brought up everyone forgets ''innocent until proven guilty'' I remember reading a story about a guy who was false accused. He got kicked out of school, lost his scholarships, his social life was probably ruined, and who knows the emotional stress he went through because some lying scum decided to ruin his life. He wasn't even guilty, and the college kicked him out and took his scholarships away, people stopped talking to him etc.. anyways, the lady got caught, she only got 2 years in prison.
That's the problem is that some colleges/jobs don't want the tag of even a possible bad reputation and it doesn't matter how the story turns out - they just want to be free from the drama that will occur on the news about it. Sometimes it works out, and the accuser is guilty and should be shunned, but I think the college/employer who damaged their opportunities should make good on it.
You have to be a sociopath to make up such an accusation to hurt somebody. LOTS of psychopaths and sociopaths are female. FBI/DOJ statistics record that 25% of all rapes involve a female accomplice who lures the victim to the waiting rapist and helps hold her down and/or drug her, and sometimes participate more directly than that.
You never hear about that rape culture in Women's Studies though, do ya?
@Bananaman177 I don't know if my friend had a mental illness - if she did it was lost on me. I do know she was terrified of being caught cheating, and tried to use the system to get out of it. Also, I tried looking for the statistic on the "25% of all rapes involve a female accomplice who lures the victim to the waiting rapist and helps hold her down and/or drug her, and sometimes participate more directly than that." I'd like to know more about this. Can you supply a link or credible source. I did a Google search using the description with the FBI and DOJ but nothing came up.
It's actually that 25% of all people convicted of rape are female. So I supplied the most common scenario for a female rapist, which is that she is the slave of a male rapist like Dracula and Renfield, so to speak.
There are other scenarios, but this is statistically very rare. Mostly women convicted of rape are simply the accomplice. There is also statutory rape, as with older teacher, younger student scenario, for instance.
Point being, women are capable of psychopathy and sexual violence against both men and women, and even children.
For me, it's not about "believing the victims," it's about giving the victims a chance to make their case without shaming them or immediately taking a man's side of not guilty just because he's a man. And that's what true feminism promotes.
What country are you from? This is scary VERY scary. This almost happened to my best friends brother. He drunkenly hooked up with a girl at a party who happened to be cheating on her boyfriend. Being a pathetic oxygen wasting piece of shit that she was she decided to press charges against him to alleviate her guilty conscious. Fortunately there were several witnesses that saw them making out and her openly walking with him into a bedroom. No one heard her say stop.
She dropped the charges two days later.
This one of the main reasons I have absolutely can't stand feminism. This is REVERSE rape. Women abuse this to destroy men's lives.
As for the legel system if a man committed rape he should go to jail. if a women lies about rape she should do some jail time and be put on a rape lier list. Falsely accusing a man of rape can make him lead to sucide. If being faithful in a relationship is hard to do just stay single, then you can sleep with who ever you want.
It seems to be the same on the internet. I find it funny that although women are the minority (last time I checked it was by 0.6% lower than men) that they call themselves oppressed when they actually seem to be a pretty vocal bunch really. Though the world as it is, is pretty toxic in my opinion. I've tried to filter my mind when I read stuff because some of the sexism (from both sides) is just horrendous (and people think we're making progress). I'd have said that we're going further and further into a cycle of hatred and trying to solve it and just spewing out more and more hate. I think that if people can't deal with being in romantic relationships then they should just stay single and have friends with benefits if they're that desperate to have sex. I wonder if it mainly affects countries in the northern hemisphere that lie to the west of the globe than the rest of the world.
This actually happened to my son in a way. His girlfriend cheated on him but said she was rapped. I took her to the hospital for the rape test, a police report was filed... everything was moving forward when she told me it actually wasn't rape she was just drunk and made a bad decision. I took her straight to the police department and had her tell them everything. Luckily it hadn't went that far and the charges were dropped. And they didn't do a thing to her but lectured her on making a false report
By default in the West when it's a woman's word against a man's , a man = guilty... UNLESS proven innocent !! However the sentencing of Jemma Beale , for multiple rape & sexual assault false claims , ( one man had already served an undeserved 3 years in prison because of that warped creature ) to 10 years , surprised me , as women normally go unpunished for this ! Even though she will be out within 3 years , I hope this sets a precedent. Any wonder so many Western men do not trust their female counterparts?
@Ozanne. I believe that is fair & reasonable , due to the sheer malice involved ( like Jemma Beale a pathological man hater ) , as false accusations can ruin a man's life forever in many cases , I have noticed the " trial by media " of accused men , they are named & shamed in the " media " , but if they are acquitted , this is NEVER later mentioned !! Plus hindering justice for REAL victims... and wasting police / justice system resources on top of that !!
Interesting and heart-breaking story. I think in order to avoid this I'll save it until marriage. I can't believe people are actually so cruel and selfish that they'd do that to another human being. I think women who falsely accuse raped should be imprisoned and have a record.
I wonder if anyone is going to point out that guys can get raped too? I mean it's all fine and dandy when only women are mentioned but I'd also like to point out this fact as well. Is there the same mindset there as well or is that different? Though to be honest women seem to be more cunning anyway (though women would have originally been the ones to choose mates anyway and not the other way around -who says that women have no power? I'd say we have enough already maybe not all over the world but we have enough to make a difference if it's used right).
What your saying is not at all new. False rape charges were popular during the years when segregation was in the south. White women often reported being raped by a black male because she didn't want her true intention to be known, such as prostitution. Believe the Victim, i can understand the need for it because rape is serious and should be treated seriously, but some take advantage of it because they know they can. This is why I am impersonal about hearing rape on TV. Should i believe or should I not? Yes it's awful to hear, but in the media, it's worse because people will know who you are.
Real victims stay hidden and never disclose the matter, but fake victims, ugh.
I remember one of our nation's greatest cricket players had an ex girlfriend accuse him of rape. He was arrested during the time of an important match series but later the same girl withdrew the case when she felt the pressure to release him, cause duh we all knew she was lying, and he was released.
The reason why she did it? They broke up and they had sex before that. He promised her marriage and now he obviously can't give it to her since they broke up. Talk about a real gold digger she KNOWS how much money and fame he has.
That's so messed up. That's horrible that his record can't be wiped clean.
Unfortunately, rape is one of those crimes where "innocent until you provide hard evidence" doesn't really work. It usually happens behind closed doors, without any witnesses. If the victim does happen to get a rape kit done (which most victims don't since they're so invasive) then the attacker could always just say it was consensual. Or, in this case, if it really was consensual then one person could always call it rape. It really is his word against hers.
Again, false accusations are horrible. But I still tend to lean towards believing the victim than doubting her/him. If something fishy comes up, of course, to make me question it (like your friend dating her "attacker") then I might.
You were incredibly lucky to have evidence in your case. Unfortunately, most victims don't. If I may ask, how were you able to audio record the guy without him knowing?
Usually it's us women who have the ears that get bent by our female friends who sometimes make these confessions. In this case it didn't happen like that to me, but in other ways I've been privvy to other female friends' stories that I didn't agree with (talks of revenge, etc.).
If a woman can start reasoning with her female friends instead of just sitting there nodding her head saying 'you go girl' then maybe the less problems would have erupted in the first place.
At this point, people have to be responsible for their choices. Sex belongs in marriage for this reason as well. But people don't want to wait, and sadly this do happen because people don't care to listen. It's hard to believe people who are already either sexually active or have the mentality to fool around before marriage. Extremely hard. Because now, what was their behavior pattern before it happened or they became active? This is what I look at. But I know some of those same victims whether truly are or not won't stop and do what is right. They will still put themselves in positions that will get them in that situation or worse again.
@Blonde401 Agreed. Rape also can be accused against someone who didn't even have sex with someone else. Read @MrOracle 's response. Not everyone can protect themselves against a crazy who wants to cause trouble.
I wasn't referring to people lying about being raped. I was merely stating that the statement 'sex belongs in marriage for this reason' is utter crap. People in marriages get raped all the time.
Rape by spouse sadly is what it is. Rape is still rape, but you are still better off married to somebody you trust instead of somebody on a whim. People get raped by their spouses who were NOT good for them from the beginning. I know all about spousal rape. You date and marry a lustful person, what do you think will happen? They will more and likely rape you if they feel like you're neglecting them sexually. Use your head and common sense, not what you feel between your legs and butterflies in the stomach.
People CAN protect themselves by not being so trusting to every and anybody. Question EVERYTHING. Ask educated guess. Do NOT go to places alone with a stranger. What is the basic things we learn as children: do NOT talk to strangers. Since when have this basic instruction go out the window as we become adults?
It is not utter crap. You do what you want and you will suffer the consequences of your actions. Be more responsible or stay at home if you can't be responsible without being supervised. Adulthood does not mean be irresponsible. Things like this happen's in real life and people still see it as a joke. People who are not saving themselves and open to sexual encounters are the best victims. Especially when young, naive, and trusting of everyone or everything just because they either look friendly or handsome or harmless. Men rape because they feel they are entitled to sex since premarital sex is no longer taboo. Marital rape became common back then because men were literally
authoritarians over the wives and took the Biblical aspects of marriage far too literal to the point it became abusive. And misinterpreted what those scriptures were saying. That is why also Pastors and preachers are falsely using the scripture for wives to submit to their husbands, but don't get into why that is important the same way what husbands are commanded to do. To basically give the guys a free card and women are evil crap. People better do their research and know what they're talking about. This is why these rapes are getting worse and won't get better.
So if telling people to wait for marriage to have sex is dumb to society today, so is telling men to not rape. It's stupid. Women are not using common sense and this is how they end up in positions they shouldn't be in. The same with guys stupid enough to get into bed with such women instead of saying wait, this is wrong, we shouldn't be doing this. Nope. They don't care about that.
Because I have common sense and the rest of you don't? Ha! Truth is truth. You make the bed hard you lay in it. You just want an excuse to continue to do what you do and still get pity. Enough. This is why hardly anybody wants to take anybody seriously. Because where are your brains at? Seriously. We need to start hooking people up to MRI machines or something similar and start monitoring how you guys think because this is ridiculous. That's how you people get seriously hurt, raped and or killed. Everybody screaming victim blaming needs to grow up and seek professional counseling. If you don't want to get into that position then don't get involved in that kind of situation in the first place. Only you can be responsible for you. I thank God every day literally that I don't have you people mentality. I thank God. Or else I wouldn't be here today. ridiculous. This is why parents are becoming more strict and overprotective. Can't be trusted on your own.
Do what I do? What exactly are you accusing me of? I've been single and celebrate for 3 years! And only people who are the victim of rape are responsible for being raped? Not their attacker? Jesus. You're a vile person.
BOTH are responsible. Period. BOTH. A young child or teenager still needs the supervision of parents. Young adult and up, and they have to be responsible for what they were taught growing up. And if the parents weren't doing their jobs, it is the same. This is about accountability. That is what the legal age means. BEING ACCOUNTABLE. If they chose to drink and become incoherent, they are responsible for getting drunk. And if it leads to them getting raped, then they are equally responsible for that as the rapist. The next time if they thankfully survive should be a lesson for them not to go to bars, not be with somebody alone, and drinking. If they do drink, drink small cup, or don't drink at all. That is a perfect example. But if they continue doing that, then whose fault is it this time? This is the kind of thing people don't think about. The details. I take things like this seriously because it's not a joke. If people want to play games with their lives then they have
to be responsible for their lives. Or expect to God forbid end up on 'Dateline' or 'I almost got away with it', etc. That will God forbid be the next thing because they want to swoon at every 'cute guy' at the bar, feeling them up, getting intoxicated. Or back when I was on yahoo answers and I encountered 2 girls, bringing their boyfriends home, during school hours, trying to have sex with the parents not around, then getting raped as virgin on the spot. The other, knowing that 3 of her now ex male friends was lusting after her since elementary school, invited them to her house thinking it's okay and then what happens? They dragged her upstairs to her room, stripped her bare naked, tied her to her posted, and each raped her on the spot one by one, blood on her sheets and they left her there, gagged to boot. How anybody found something was wrong, was her boyfriend who got the spare key and found her like that. Okay? This is not a joke. This is what disturbs me every single time somebody
says premarital sex and lust have nothing to do with it. But I'm vile? I tell and talk about these things to warn people. To protect them, guide them, be informed. But I am only one person. That is my job as an Adult like any other rational adult, whether thinker or feeler should do. But nobody who isn't supposedly religious isn't doing that. This is a problem. And I'm addressing it as a problem. I look at the victim because it's easy to accuse a rapist or the accused. Especially without hard evidence. Because if victims are not using rational and common sense, they can potentially get seriously hurt or end up dead. Men need's to be responsible for their own urges, but if we women are exploiting them and promoting free the nipple crap, and feminism, and women can have as much as she wants crap, and porn, etc, what do people actually expect? Pleasantville? There isn't anything pleasant about it. I am talking about legal adults here. Not children, not human/sex trafficked victims.
This is why I believe in marital sex ONLY. Why parents should be invested in their children's romance and dating life, etc. Why I believe in modesty and the biblical way of living that ALL HUMAN BEINGS should be living. But everybody will not do that. Not every parent is going to care. Or be invested. I don't want to see ANYBODY get hurt, raped, or ruin their future. But I cannot be responsible for their choices that I have already foreseen will be trouble. But neither am I going to lie about it or keep my mouth shut about it just because other people, good and evil don't like it. You may have been celibate for 3 years, but you don't realize that this mindset of yours will get you into serious trouble where god forbid YOU may get into that position yourself. This is why I said that you do what you want. Because again, only you can be responsible for you. That includes every situation you put yourself in. Men should not be touching women they aren't married to. But if women do not want
to keep their legs closed, their own their own. That's all. This is why rapist do what they do. It's not always about dominance. It's a lust-filled consense. They want sex, they feel can't have sex, it drives them insane, porn is getting them high, but the want the real thing, society says get a girlfriend, but no girl really wants him, or even if was sexually active, premarital sex still rewired his thinking. Now, he just needs to find the best victim that fits his fetish. This is what men do not want to tell you. Lots of men struggle with this and us women take it as a joke. Trampling on them, and increasing their mental issues as it develops. For women rapist, it's a mixture of lust and biological needs. I know this because my dad said that he felt like becoming one when he felt sexually neglected by his girlfriends or girls when he was younger. So you're wrong about that. The dominance thing is a myth. It's individual needs. Dominance is one of it, but LUST drives it.
Because only sluts who go out at night get raped right? You're so delusional it's painful. Get out of here with your horrendous bible bashing nonsense. I really hope you're never on a jury. Your perception of rape and of women is disgusting. Plenty of people all over the world get raped without being drunk. (Not that being drunk is an excuse for someone else to rape you). Kids get raped. Is it their fault too? As soon as you speak about the bible your opinion is just garbage. If you live your life following a little book of rules, written by old men to keep women down, then you're even more uneducated and small minded that you originally let on. You're a horrible person. You're blaming victims for being raped. Thank your stars that you've never been raped. If men rape - they are the problem. Not the woman. Whether she's drunk or naked or whatever. If someone murders someone else, is it the victims fault for provoking them? Jesus Christ you're unreal.
It shows you know nothing about the psychology of rape. Shows how uneducated you are. But then you get all your education from the bible right? So no wonder. How embarrassing. You're so judgmental of others. You don't know me, whatsoever. How dare you insinuate that I basically deserve to get raped. Please never have kids.
@Blonde401 WHOA! Where are you getting this crap from? Stop getting so emotional and overreacting to things you're not even paying attention to. I can tell you don't want to pay attention so I will clarify for you. Did I say ANYTHING about people deserving to get raped? NO. Stop putting words in my mouth and stop assuming if you can't even give an educated answer yourself. PROVE to me that I said that women deserved to be raped. PROVE it. If you cannot prove I said it in those exact words, then you have no case.
If you're sleeping with somebody who you are not married to that is considered whorish. I did not make the rules. If people do not want to follow, it is free will, their choice. But it comes with many consequences. That is our reality. Where have I said that people all over do not get raped? I am talking about Bars, and places where sex take place. Not random activities on the street, or children. Get that straight. You can't even prove I said something I didn't say.
Neither have I insinuated that you deserved to get raped. This is how people like you will get into trouble one day because you're putting words in other people's mouths and you can't even keep up with what was said. Basic listening comprehension skills you learn in school. I can why some men get frustrated talking to us females. It's like speaking another foreign language.
"If men rape - they are the problem. " ONLY if we're not perpetuating the problem ourselves. That is the difference. This is what you're not getting. By promoting premarital sex, you're promoting it. By allowing sexual advances, you are promoting it. But not paying attention to your surroundings you can god forbid be a target and get hurt. This is common sense. Any adult who understands what I'm talking about agrees with me. I came from the hood where such activities go around. That's why Thank God I haven't been raped. But I knew of the kind people who did living either in my building or around me. Because I followed my OWN advice. And not participating in places I have no business being in, getting home on time and paying attention to what I do, who I speak to, analyzing everything about them in case I had to report them or tell somebody, etc. But I'm crazy? Delusional? Okay.
If I were married and had kids, they would be taught better and how to stay safe, and stay away from people
who are not good for them. And the wrong crowd, and not to follow other people. But I'm too am celibate, and have no desire for marriage, or sex and children. Because I wouldn't want them suffering in this world for what is about to come. That is how much I love them and they don't even exist. I speak what I speak because I love people. With tough love. But you call it judging. Love protects. Not exploit and hurt. Some kids don't have parents to truly love them, or parents caring and wished they had. But you call it judging. Fair enough.
Yes we should all stop overanalyzing here! Rape is wrong period and I'm sure most women wouldn't lie. But many do and I wonder why. I don't know why @Blonde401 thinks you're against your own gender.
@Asad1ONE1 Because many feel betrayed and lied too from the opposite sex. That's part of what I believe. It's really messed up. But this is their mentality, and like I said people are responsible for what they knew. If they didn't then, they know now. And now they have to make a choice to change or keep going. What it is, is that people want's to do what they do without judgement or consequences. But it doesn't work like that in this kind of world. They know this is the truth and hate the truth. This is why it's going to get worse a lot sooner than people realize.
@Asad1ONE1 Yes, and it's true. You should know biblically what happened in the past. Rape was not that prevalent because if caught you got stoned. Same in the middle east or places that enforces that for real. But that is not allowed in this time. But what I said is true. If a girl believes this is okay and the guy thinks it's okay, and society says it's legal, what do you think will happen? They do so because they feel 'entitled' to that. It's still a crime. It's psychologically wired in their brain. Especially with porn. That means anybody can be a rapist.
Overall, I;m not going to let this spat we had bother me because I know the truth. I've spoken to raped and molested victims before and know people personally who have been in that situation or closed to getting raped. People have to learn, and sadly they will learn the easy way or the hard way. This world is no joke or a game. And people want's to continue playing with life like it is.
"By allowing sexual advances, you are promoting it" you're basically saying any woman who doesn't instantly reject any form of sexual advance, deserves to get raped. Which is complete shit.
Getting emotional? Nah that's you Hun. You're the one writing a three page essay every single reply.
Rape was not that prevalent? Are you serious? ๐ If you believe everything the bible tells you, you need help with your mental health issues.
You're going to believe what you want. I'm trying to explain to you my stance and overall situation, but I see I'm wasting my time. If you think premarital sex and all that garbage is okay to you. Be honest and say that you do and you think what I think is a joke. So I know next time not to take you seriously. I'm going to say it one more time, and THEN I'm leaving you alone. Do NOT put words in my mouth I never said, and you cannot even prove it. Please. Because I can see you have no respect whatsoever of what I am saying. I already said I never said anything about anybody deserving to get raped. But what I see with you, you like seeing people messing around with no consequence. Let's be real and honest. You're the one with mental issues. If I have any thing, it's your kind of people driving sane people crazy with your drama and nonsense, and want people to pity when things don't go the way you want it. I'm not going to do it. Just be prepared to hear more incidents. And don't ask why
You're literally saying premarital sex is the only reason people get raped. You're utterly delusional and living in la la land. Married men rape women. Married men rape their wives. Men who've never had sex before rape women. But of course, that doesn't happen does it in your world? No. it's just sluts who get themselves in to trouble. You're not a woman at all, in any sense of the world.
Here you go again. THANK YOU for reinforcing my assumptions of you. THANK YOU! Goes to show you don't know how to listen and pay attention. You just yap off your mouth thinking. Still making assumptions about me. Still can't prove it, still going off topic, rendering off to fit your fancy, twisting up what I'm saying, and you don't care what you do. And you have the audacity to not call ME a woman? Where are you being a woman by saying the junk your saying to me? If that's the case then why are you celibate for 3 years if what you're saying is so right?
Answer my questions in order then if you want to keep replying back with this ludicrousy.
1. Did I say that premarital sex is the only reason people get raped? NO. If I did. Prove it. 2. Did I say that married men do NOT rape women while married? NO. If I did. Show and prove it. 3. Did I say that only MEN who are sexually active only rape women? NO. 4. Did I say that it's ONLY sluts, whores only get raped? NO.
"You're literally saying..." Don't give me this crap. You're deflecting what I am telling and asking you personally. I don't want to hear 'literally'. 'Literally' doesn't cut it if you want to debate an opinion based on facts. But if you don't want to answer my questions, I'll answer for you.
1. Did I say that premarital sex is the only reason people get raped? NO. If I did. Prove it.
PROOF --> "Because now, what was their behavior pattern before it happened or they became active? This is what I look at. But I know some of those same victims whether truly are or not won't stop and do what is right. They will still put themselves in positions that will get them in that situation or worse again." [PUT themselves in positions that WILL get them in that situations or worse.]
Proof #2: "People who are not saving themselves and open to sexual encounters are the best victims. " BEST VICTIMS. Not that they are the ONLY victims.
2. Did I say that married men do NOT rape women while married? NO. If I did. Show and prove it.
PROOF: "Rape by spouse sadly is what it is. Rape is still rape, but you are still better off married to somebody you trust instead of somebody on a whim. People get raped by their spouses who were NOT good for them from the beginning. I know all about spousal rape. You date and marry a lustful person, what do you think will happen? They will more and likely rape you if they feel like you're neglecting them sexually. Use your head and common sense, not what you feel between your legs and butterflies in the stomach."
3. Did I say that only MEN who are sexually active only rape women? NO. PROOF: "Men rape because they feel they are entitled to sex since premarital sex is no longer taboo." <--- If they believe in premarital sex, they feel entitled to sex before marriage. It doesn't matter what their status of their penis is. This applies to any man, virgin or not.
4. Did I say that it's ONLY sluts, whores only get raped? NO.
PROOF: " I am talking about Bars, and places where sex take place. Not random activities on the street, or children." So unless sex trafficking victims, religious/Christian girls, etc fits going to bars, I clearly just said 'BARS, and places where sex take place. That includes 'sex parties' if you want to go there.
Funny how I can defend everything I say, yet you can't even defend what you say.
Yes btbc92 you have a point here. Marriage is a mutual decision and thus reduces the likely hood of rape. Why so? Is it because "compatibility" is the reason why most people get married in the first place?
She accused me of saying that married men don't rape their wives. Never have I said this. She got upset because I reinforced what the word of God says about being married before engaging in sexual activity, and those who don't are at higher risk of getting raped by men [since the whole myTake was about men]. Then accused me of not being a woman, because I said what I said that offended her because she believes in premarital sex and doesn't like what was said. That's all. I know what it is. If you pay attention to who you're getting involved with and their mindset, making sure they aren't crazy or mentally ill, you're less likely to get raped. Doesn't mean it can't or won't happen. But it's safer. Unlike dating, in marriage, it is a requirement you trust your spouse.
They believe sexual compatibility is having premarital sex. It's not. It's talking about what you will and won't do during sex. And if it's a dealbreaker, stop dating them and don't marry that person. Common sense.
@Asad1ONE1 No offense. I think it's best not to call her dummy. She's been in this situation before, that is why she is reacting the way she is. I sense it strongly. But what I said prior still stands. People have to take measures to protect themselves and their children.
You're correct. I shouldn't fight fire with fire. She's clearly blinded by her past experience to understand the logic. My apologies to her. She does seem agitated and even blocked me a few weeks ago for trying to explain something to her the same way you are now. I can only wish her the best.
What you experienced is classic behavior of a rape/molested victim, or victim of sexual harassment. I too have been a victim of sexual harassment of inappropriate touching at 2 different parts of my life. 1 as a 3rd grader being touched on my butt by a fellow student in class and told the teacher after he did it about twice. To teach him a lesson, I flung my hand at his. And again as a 20 years old by a Chinese guy who started flinging one of my breast with his finger, and pinched! I was petrified and couldn't move. He did this in public! And a guy saw this from a few feet away from me, looked at me from his smartphone, smirks and then goes upstairs to his apartment entrance in a two apartment building! Did nor say ANYTHING. As much as I was equally to blame for not calling the cops on him. I couldn't because there was no proof or evidence to have him arrested, and by him being of old age, and speaking Manderian, they'll less likely to do so.
I can own up to what I did wrong. If I can do it as a victim of that, so can others. That is the path to healing. Acknowledgement, prevention, healthy boundaries, healing! And if severe, counseling, and much prayer.
I've been sexually harassed by girls too at a young age. But unlike both of you I'm not taking my anger out on them and generalizing. No wonder why you say things like "women aren't as desperate" or "women don't care for it much". You may clearly mean offense.
@Asad1ONE1 I am not taking my anger out on anybody. What I said personally about my personal experiences have 0 to do what I had said before in our last discussions. I said before what I am saying is what was already told to me by women who ARE sexually active and or aren't but go through temptation dealing with men. That is why I said I can't speak for all women. But overall stating what the majority have told to me about what I said. Not the ones who do go for looks and have sex with whosoever that want.
If women were always desperate they would be going after every guy they can find and not wait for a guy to make a move. They can desire to have a man in their lives, yes. But how far would they go to risk making a move to snag a guy? Not that many. Why reject every guy that approach them for some girls? Because they either aren't that interested in that particular guy, or not interested period.
@Asad1ONE1 Well, starting from my childhood when I already knew about sex? A pretty good amount. Starting from girls who were interested in dating in elementary, middle school mostly, a small few in my 1st high school, rarely in my graduating h. s. At the doctors offices and other places on and off, family members, friends of friends, friends of members, on yahoo answers years ago, and the special few on here, besides random strangers wanting to talk to you about their personal life. So, yeah. A lot.
Well I am not saying they are "always" desperate" lol. Neither are men. It depends on the person and the mood. It has nothing to do with "women don't care for sex much" or that "women only do it to please their partners".
@Asad1ONE1 I'm not saying that we aren't. I'm saying that we handle it differently and have different perceptions on how we handle it. This is why a lot of guys get's stumped when a girl doesn't want to be intimate with him. Too many guys skip romance, according to the ones I've spoken to, and still aspect sex. That is what I am saying as an example.
But if you want a few examples, please understand I can't remember everything they said in detail but what I can remember.
Both single, virgin, married or unmarried. May or may not be religious or Christian: - Few have said that they are attracted to the guy, but get's put off when they don't take other interest. -Others have said that all they wanted to do was cuddle, but their guy doesn't. Just wants to feel them up or get them in the mood for sex. Then get's offended. <--- from descriptions online back on Yahoo Answers. -Few said they don't understand what's up with the guy behaving like 'dogs'. They said this, not me, and that they wouldn't mind to do any of that but feels like their personal feelings aren't valued/reciprocated.
For my friends who are Christian:
Same as with example #1, but would like to wait for that in marriage, of course. One of my friends who didn't wait for marriage felt like she was used the whole entire time, and he didn't take her feelings into
Lol that is not what you said earlier! So said "most women don't care for it" Science has already proved that people (man or woman) do not need an emotional connection for sex. It is a preference.
My late mother before she found out she was sick had this same issue with my dad. He kept pushing sex from her or he was going leave, made it out like he cheated on her physically for real, etc, and all it did was hurt my mom. She told me that it wasn't like she didn't want to have sex with him, but he always hurt her feelings and emotions and it put her down. Like all he was thinking about was sex and nothing else. He had such a high sex drive because he messed around with over 40+ women besides my mom and my sister's mom. Also, another sexually turn off for some people. My dad saw sex as something just physical, my mom a way to spiritually and emotionally connect with your partner. So I also say personality and character also plays a role.
Again, as I said, overall most don't. But do, because of personal interest or because they want/feel they have to. That is what I said. I just now described what was told to me in general.
Perhaps I worded it wrong. Allow me to put it like this: If women do not already have a personal reason for sex, that isn't what they already want for themselves, like for men, they won't participate in it. Women in general as I said desire to connect with a man through his heart, but have a hard time understanding that men overall desire this through sex. And some men have a hard time understanding that women need's to overall feel emotionally connected [to his heart], to equally desire sex in that context. This was not always like this. But what I WAS saying is referring to modern day women. You have to remember that premarital sex, feminism, porn have distorted the mentality behind sex. What I was saying is that modern day women, overall, have a poor negative view about sex. Mainly
I have been doing research online over the years. In fact, if you listen to marriage counselors, it's usually a similar story. Look up some of Mark Gungor's work, he explains it better. But I have talked about this since my teenage years mostly than my middle and elementary school years.
That's another reason why I had said all the time in my post, I understand men's frustrations. But if men only think that women are only good for sex and children, that's an negative way of viewing sex and women as a whole. Eventually with every failed sexual relationship, even though the sexually active woman desires sex because her body wants to mostly, she won't do that again if she feels she is just going to get used. That's why some go on being single or celibate for a very long time until they can find the right partner.
Plus, if a woman is focused on career or things others than a guy, she is not going to concern herself with that. And the proof of it, especially for Christian women is this verse from 1 Corinthians 7:34 KJV: "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Having sex are things of the world. That's why this whole scripture is about making wise sexual choices and less to do with marriage. But points out the importance of being sexual in marriage and if you wanted to marry as a virgin you haven't sinned. If you're tempted and crossing boundaries, it's wise to marry before you go further. It is a SIGN for you to get married before you enter into sexual sin.
Where did I say I was for or about premaritial sex? Where did I say that? Where's the proof? Show me the proof that I said that. Nowhere did I promote pre marital sex.
@Asad1ONE1 I blocked you. Im asking you to stop harassing me, stop calling me names etc. You were blocked for a reason. I'm not going to speak to you again, move on with your life.
@Blonde401 You didn't have to say. How you came at me by accusing me of saying people who have premarital sex are sluts and whores and only them get raped. And how that's not it. That's what it shows me. By your reactions. If you didn't find it okay for anybody to do, you wouldn't be saying all of this for over 40+ replies other than those who wanted to reply back.
You said this among a few things: " You're literally saying premarital sex is the only reason people get raped. You're utterly delusional and living in la la land. Married men rape women. Married men rape their wives. Men who've never had sex before rape women. But of course, that doesn't happen does it in your world? No. it's just sluts who get themselves in to trouble. You're not a woman at all, in any sense of the world."
Why would you say this if you don't think premarital sex is okay? It doesn't matter where rape takes place. Rape is still rape. Hence why I KEEP saying sex is a marriage, and marriage is about sex.
What your not understanding like a lot of people, whether secular and even most CHRISTIANS sadly today do get is that you create soul ties with people your not married to. With rape, that experienced was forced on you, thus your transferring spirits/demons, whatever you like to call them they are all the same thing. And your become ONE with them. They become you, you become them, not just a part of them. They mirror you, you mirror them, they pick up your habits, and you get where this is going. You obtain traits, behaviors, and habits whether good or bad. Which makes it twice as scary with sex in a spiritual manner, every partner they had, when you have sex with them, you basically having sex with them. DO the research. I've been doing my research on this matter since 18 years old on my own time. Hence why I'm online a lot. I've spoken to raped victims and molested victims on Yahoo Answers before, at least 2/3. And I know of two people personally who also have been raped.
Rape is about LUST. But it's not the only driving factor, hence why rapes cases are not always the same. The girls that I said on Yahoo answers, got raped by people they knew and weren't married to. 1 got raped by her boyfriend as was a virgin. The other got raped by her 3 friends who was lusting after her since elementary school, was foolish to invite them into her home at night with her parents gone, and they gagged and raped her in her room, leaving her to bleed on her bed bare naked and tied up to her post. Both incidences which should have NEVER have happened. 2 teenage girls of the ages 15/16 at the time. Both had boys home without parental consent, both got raped in the same setting, both had acknowledged it wasn't a smart idea to invite them [their words, not mine], both were virgins, and still got raped. One said she is going to wait for marriage for now on. The other being gang raped, said she is now [then at the time] terrified of sex, and she would never participate
In fact, here is one the post I saved from that time. I don't think it's on there anymore, they often delete old questions:
When I was 16 years old I was raped? When I was 16 years old, my lose my virginity to my first boyfriend. At around that age some teenagers feel like they maybe ready for sex. I thought I was. Me and my ex boyfriend were at the basketball court and I was messing around with him. I asked him about how I wanted to do it with him and how my parents were not home so could go back to my place and do it. In his eyes he didn't want to lose it and he wanted to keep it (virginity). We were both had not had sex before. We were new at it. I kept on pushing him to go back home with me and do it. He finally gave up and we went back to my place. We both went upstairs to my room and I was nervous and didn't want to feel much pain. Finally he put his penis in me and it hurt so bad and I told him to pull now. He said " B@#!$ you are going to take this." I was thinking what is
is going on it's not suppose to be this way. I started to kick, punch and try to push him away but he was stronger then me. I cried and told him to stop but he wouldn't. I felt myself ripping in half and I just wanted someone to save me. I felt myself becoming lifeless and I couldn't feel anything anymore. I turned my head while he was doing the rest to me. I thought I was going to die that day because it was so much pain and so much hurt within me. I thought he was a nice guy but I guess he wasn't. Every girl believes that there first time is always going to be special but believe me... it wasn't special for me
This is the exact post left intact, that I thank God everyday that I copy and pasted after I answered her question like I do here. This was my response to her, back then mind you I was under a different username. And her response after she picked my answer as best.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker I'm very sorry to hear about this. But your story is the main reason why I don't agree with sex before marriage. You suffered the harsh reason for not waiting. This was not love nor will sex ever be during a relationship outside of marriage, it's false. I suggest you wait for marriage the next time you feel ready for sex for real. That so called boyfriend of yours needs to be put in jail for such a crime. Thank you for sharing your story. Just know that your still a virgin in spirit, and you still belong to your husband. God knows what happened to you, and he still loves you. But that boy will pay for his crime if he does not repent. You learned your lesson, but now is not the time for a boyfriend. This is the time to heal. People who had your situations will always blaim God for this, or why didn't he stop it. But the truth is was there with you, but it doesn't mean he will interfere. He will only do that if you invite him to. But if you shun God he take'
Oh so you can insinuate and accuse but I can't state facts? ๐ Ok.
Rape has nothing to do with lust. If you actually read anything more than the bible you'd know this. But hey, you're a 'christian' which just means you sit on your throne of judgement and judge everyone else in the world based on a book of complete nonsense and never read facts. ๐ You do you boo, I'm done trying to educate a crazy person. Not reading your essay replies. Bye.
take's his protection off of you, and you have to understand that this was also on your part as well. But forgive yourself, forgive taht boy who did this horrible crime to you. It is not worth the bitterness or hatred. You can not enter heaven with that. And one day you will have a husband, who will love you for you. And will never hurt you regardless of your pass. You are free. Be free, and don't have sex again before marriage or else it will be the same hurt even if it's not what you experienced. You had enough and suffered enough.
I will keep you in prayer. Be safe for now on, ok. And if you need a friend I'm here. And everyone else who agrees with me is here for you. Your not alone. Asker's Rating:
Asker's Comment: Thank you for the wonderful advice.
But according to you I'm victim blaming. No. I'm not. I told her like everyone else the truth in love. To help her understand how dangerous the situation was by doing what she did inviting him home for sex. She didn't know what may
happen. But sadly it did. You don't know how badly reading it pained me as a virgin to know somebody like that can do something some vile, and that's supposed to mean love? Outside of marriage, or even in marriage forcefully? No, it's not. And this is why I stand on God's word. If you read 1 Corinthians 7 it tells you your rights as a unmarried person and as a married person. But when you get involved with the wrong kind of person, and your promoting the wrong thing, this happens.
@Blonde401 I don't have to insinuate nothing. But it shows me your justified of anything you do, so at the end of the day, like I said, if you don't want to read anything. It's on you for now on. I did my part.
@Blonde401 I do that everywhere lol. I go through notifications, old or new. I'm just letting you know that your insecurities and hate will hurt you alone, not me. I'm all good. And don't say I know nothing about you, all I know about is your attitude, which is of a child. You're 27. Grow up seriously. And don't think that I care whether you blocked me. I'm trying to help.
I don't know where you are getting off being so disrespectful to me about human sexuality, and you're claiming yourself to be a believer of God. You know what the word of God says about sin and where it comes from.
If you are the guy you are automatically guilty, the courts are biased against men, especially in the divorce courts. Girls "Swat" guys all the time. God help you if the cops are trigger happy and I feared for my life" types and you happen to be black. Here is another law misandrists can pervert. www.louderwithcrowder.com/misogyny-hate-crime-uk/
Hate that when something like that occurs bc many men are taken advantage of that and we lose everything she its nothing but lies. Until both stories are heard the legal system still seem to be going on females. Gender racism but until all is heard then the calls should be made of innocent or guilty
Goddamn, that Lisa is a grade-A cunt. And yeah, I agree. As much as we should take every accusation seriously we still need to allow the accused a defense, sometimes it seems like we give more leeway to someone accused of murder than someone accused of even non-violent rape.
Also, this (false rape accusations, pregnancy faking, etc...) is one of the reasons I shake my head every time I see or hear about a guy getting involved with a BPD girl. Guys are so thirsty it makes them stupid enough to play Russian roulette with their lives for a bit of sex.
I mean, I take rape very seriously no matter what sex claims it. So, I need proof before prosecution. The horrible fact that women lie about rape, though...
IMHO, Lisa's false case should not be considered rape in the eyes of the law anyway. This incident is not isolated, as you said, there are many women who regret their decision of having sex with a particular guy, and tries to blame the guy for the process. If you are drunk, and went home with a guy, I'm sorry but that's your problem.
In a legal system where driving a car is your problem, and being drunk with your own consent does not waive any criminal activity you've committed, how come decision of going home with a guy can be the guy's responsibility?
This will be sexist, I know it, but it fits in perfectly. There is a reason we call cowards "pussy" in the guy's world.
There's also a reason why we call people who compare women to inanimate objects sexist. False equivalency is a dishonest, disingenuous person's best friend.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
70Opinion
False rape accusations are supposed to be less than10% of reported assaults. The higher figure cited by MGTOW and MRA blogs includes recanted claims and dropped charges. There are many reasons why a victim might recant - they are not necessarily lying.
That's interesting, but I can't understand any logic to recanting a claim. I'm not suggesting it's always a lie either, but something is amiss.
There's either pressure from the families to recant, or the victim gets the sense that the prosecutor isn't taking the case seriously, or they're just plain scared of having to relive their trauma in front of a hostile audience. It's not like our culture treats rape victims well. "Are you *sure* that you didn't lead them on? Then why did you wear that? Why were you drinking?" -> they haven't said it, but it is heavily implied that it's the victim's fault that they were attacked.
I see. At the time all this happened in my own situation - it would have been considered mischief to get in too deep only to drop the charges. I had considered it myself because my own situation was taking over a year to get through and I was absolutely spent. I was told that the defense lawyers do this to try and hope the victim will become exhausted by it all. In his case he was so screwed because of what evidence there was, and his lawyer did everything possible to delay for the stupidest shit each time. Knowing this was a typical tactic, I kept going and got through it. I'm sorry real victims feel that they need to drop it before the outcome, but I also feared being charged with mischief.
Why comment like this are non-deleted meanwhile mine was deleted it?
Because of people like astoriana an they support to a system who send to jail innocent male.
We are male we are a shit but at least we should bann this people from here or not? @Ozanne did you delte my comment? why this one from astoriana is not deleted too?
How the fuck can be false accusations less than 10% if whoever women can get on problem to whoever men. Is obvious that if people can accuse someone just with their word, everyone would accuse to everyone, people would accuse their neighbours because whatever thing. And this is what happen here, women who accuse men of rape her are, most of them, rejected women, or jaleous, or exgrilfrienss who want to be on a relationship with him and he doesn't want.
atoriana is actually the exact reflection of MGTOW spewing false facts. we will NEVER know the true statistic of false claims because some women withdraw their cases for numbers of reasons such as it not being a strong enough claim, or even being harassed. its a very tricky situation, but I can't stand when people give false facts because they are to emotional.
@FreedomByChoice yes, MGTOWs are incredibly emotional people. They very rarely have anything true to add to a conversation.
@R3v3r No, I didn't delete any comments or opinions in this Take. I don't know how to do that.
@Astoriana
"False rape accusations are supposed to be less than10% of reported assaults"
We can't really know that for sure, not even in theory, just like we can't know how many people really commit creditcard fraud. But even 10% would be significant.
"There are many reasons why a victim might recant - they are not necessarily lying."
Definitely true, but the reverse also happens: someone wants to recant but a judge/counselor, etc... doesn't believe them or think they're being coerced, stockholm syndrome, etc...
In the end these figures are heavily depended on pre-existing assumptions. If your pre-existing assumption is that false-rape accusations are very common your report will say "10% recanted, but others got away with their lies", if you believe false accusations are uncommon it would say "10% recanted but part of them were coerced to recant". I will say this: if there exist people crazy enough to rape then there exist people crazy enough to falsely accuse people of rape.
@Astoriana
An example of a reversed case is @AlphaMale1 's comment in this thread. All of this is really really similar to the "debate" on prostitution. Self-proclaimed "experts" invent their own truths that amount to little more than circular reasoning. Both victims of rape and false rape accusations get ignored because ultimately the loudest voices in the "debate" are more interested in making a point or displaying value politics than in actually helping people.
@JohnDoe3000 exactly my stance on this. Much respect to not being biased on the situation
@JohnDoe3000 so for you, every rape accusation should be disbelieved because they could be lying?
should every person accused be guilty?
@FreedomByChoice they should be given due process.
We always believe victims of theft. Rape victims have their privacy and bodily autonomy stolen from them. Why should we not believe them?
please never go to jury duty. Why shouldn't you believe the person accused? its people who think like you who makes it possible for people who were false accused to lose their job, their social life, scholarships etc.. and worst case, be thrown in jail later to be found innocent. This is why the death penalty is frowned upon. Way to many people using emotion instead of logic. a judge doesn't assume anything and if he/she does, then they are not cut out for that walk. I dont know who exactly you are talking about when you say ''We always believe victims of theft. '' but thats not true either. There are a lot of insurance companies who hire private investigators for that same reason. its innocent until proven guilty, not believe the ''victim'' even though you have no proof of it. these are peoples lives that you are playing with
@FreedomByChoice do you understand the words "due process"?
@FreedomByChoice and what makes you think that a rape victim (who has definitely been raped) suffers no consequences of being attacked? I think empathy is what makes us human. Otherwise there would be no laws at all. Anyone could do anything to anyone else and no one would care.
I understand the word due process, but you saying ''we should believe the victim'' made that null. if you believe the victim, you basically think the accused is automatically a rapist. Empathy is the same reason why the death penalty was written off. To many emotions flying around in the court room calling for someones head. you said it yourself, you like to assume the victim tells the truth, without proof.
and there is a ladder when it comes to empathy.
@FreedomByChoice I believe that the policy with respect to rape ought to be "trust, but verify." Calling people who come forward with rape allegations liars out of the gate does not produce justice.
''and what makes you think that a rape victim (who has definitely been raped) ''
this is the scenario you first gave ''so for you, every rape accusation should be disbelieved because they could be lying?'' dont go on a tangent. you gave the possibility of an accuser and off the bat assuming she is telling the truth just because of your emotion. In court its innocent until proven guilty, not think the guy is a rapist because she said so
@FreedomByChoice how does calling someone a liar from the get go produce evidence? It's rare that rape cases go to trial. There are hundreds of thousands of untested rape kits in the US. It's exceedingly rare that rape cases have a verdict. Charges are often dropped. Victims don't trust the police, who make every effort to humiliate and dissuade them from pursuing justice. Men like you don't want to believe that rapes actually happen and that rapists get away with it. But women like me know that it happens all the time.
''how does calling someone a liar from the get go produce evidence''
its called the burden of proof. Also, I have said multiple times that a judge doesn't assume either side is lying without some form of evidence otherwise they are not cut out for that work so before talking about ''men like me'' actually read over my points. I never said to assume someone is lying, and people who shame someone making a claim is equally as bad as people like you, who automatically say she is right and the guy is a rapist. People like me know that people like you are the type to ruins someones life simply because of biased behavior in courts siding with one party with no proof simply because of your raging emotions
and you dont want to belive that there are false accusers by undermining them with false stats which is why I called you the exact reflection of a MGTOW. I know rape happens, but you dont know that false accusations happen. you are to narrow minded
@FreedomByChoice false accusations happen, yes. But they are rare, far more rare than the MGTOWs and other various misogynists would care to admit.
you have no proof of it being rare because there will never be an accurate stat for such a tricky topic. Anyone who claims they know how often it happens or how rare it is is lying to themselves. you sound like a misandrist talking about ''guys like me'' who dont want to ''believe rape'' and also trying to justify assuming the accuser is guilty with no proof. it goes both ways, and you are just self projecting your hate like the MGTOW do.
im tired of this im making a pledge to stay away from both man haters and women haters. bye
the accused is guilty*
@FreedomByChoice I thought you said you were done. Either shut up or bring something novel to the conversation, instead of this endless cycle of nonsense.
you're right, False accusations are rare. So rare that the FBI reports that since they have been tracking DNA statistcis a steady 20% of all of their rape investigations have excluded the primary suspect by DNA. Which means either the person falsely reported the rape, or the accuser had no idea who actually raped her.
So please tell me how false accusations are rare please
www.foxnews.com/.../...re-common-than-thought.html
https://www.ncjrs.gov/txtfiles/dnaevid.text
creativedestruction. wordpress. com/.../
ucr. fbi. gov/.../reporting-rape-in-2013-revised
My sources cited.
False Rape Allegations: An Assault On Justice: By Bruce Gross, PhD, JD, MBA web.archive.org/.../...allegations-assault-on.html
it seems when this subject is brought up everyone forgets ''innocent until proven guilty'' I remember reading a story about a guy who was false accused. He got kicked out of school, lost his scholarships, his social life was probably ruined, and who knows the emotional stress he went through because some lying scum decided to ruin his life. He wasn't even guilty, and the college kicked him out and took his scholarships away, people stopped talking to him etc.. anyways, the lady got caught, she only got 2 years in prison.
That's the problem is that some colleges/jobs don't want the tag of even a possible bad reputation and it doesn't matter how the story turns out - they just want to be free from the drama that will occur on the news about it. Sometimes it works out, and the accuser is guilty and should be shunned, but I think the college/employer who damaged their opportunities should make good on it.
I can't believe women actually lie about being raped. I'll put them on the same level as rapist. This was an interesting read.
You don't think any females have mental illness?
You have to be a sociopath to make up such an accusation to hurt somebody. LOTS of psychopaths and sociopaths are female. FBI/DOJ statistics record that 25% of all rapes involve a female accomplice who lures the victim to the waiting rapist and helps hold her down and/or drug her, and sometimes participate more directly than that.
You never hear about that rape culture in Women's Studies though, do ya?
25%.
@Bananaman177 I don't know if my friend had a mental illness - if she did it was lost on me. I do know she was terrified of being caught cheating, and tried to use the system to get out of it. Also, I tried looking for the statistic on the "25% of all rapes involve a female accomplice who lures the victim to the waiting rapist and helps hold her down and/or drug her, and sometimes participate more directly than that." I'd like to know more about this. Can you supply a link or credible source. I did a Google search using the description with the FBI and DOJ but nothing came up.
It's actually that 25% of all people convicted of rape are female. So I supplied the most common scenario for a female rapist, which is that she is the slave of a male rapist like Dracula and Renfield, so to speak.
There are other scenarios, but this is statistically very rare. Mostly women convicted of rape are simply the accomplice. There is also statutory rape, as with older teacher, younger student scenario, for instance.
Point being, women are capable of psychopathy and sexual violence against both men and women, and even children.
www.usatoday.com/.../
For me, it's not about "believing the victims," it's about giving the victims a chance to make their case without shaming them or immediately taking a man's side of not guilty just because he's a man. And that's what true feminism promotes.
Well said. Belief doesn't have to be part of this, but talking and listening to them is a better way to handle it.
What country are you from? This is scary VERY scary. This almost happened to my best friends brother. He drunkenly hooked up with a girl at a party who happened to be cheating on her boyfriend. Being a pathetic oxygen wasting piece of shit that she was she decided to press charges against him to alleviate her guilty conscious. Fortunately there were several witnesses that saw them making out and her openly walking with him into a bedroom. No one heard her say stop.
She dropped the charges two days later.
This one of the main reasons I have absolutely can't stand feminism. This is REVERSE rape. Women abuse this to destroy men's lives.
As for the legel system if a man committed rape he should go to jail. if a women lies about rape she should do some jail time and be put on a rape lier list. Falsely accusing a man of rape can make him lead to sucide. If being faithful in a relationship is hard to do just stay single, then you can sleep with who ever you want.
Sounds reasonable. But America doesn't care about men. They openly display their hatred and disconcern with men on public broadcasting.
@HereComesDrTran111 Same in all Western countries !!
It seems to be the same on the internet.
I find it funny that although women are the minority (last time I checked it was by 0.6% lower than men) that they call themselves oppressed when they actually seem to be a pretty vocal bunch really.
Though the world as it is, is pretty toxic in my opinion. I've tried to filter my mind when I read stuff because some of the sexism (from both sides) is just horrendous (and people think we're making progress).
I'd have said that we're going further and further into a cycle of hatred and trying to solve it and just spewing out more and more hate.
I think that if people can't deal with being in romantic relationships then they should just stay single and have friends with benefits if they're that desperate to have sex.
I wonder if it mainly affects countries in the northern hemisphere that lie to the west of the globe than the rest of the world.
This actually happened to my son in a way. His girlfriend cheated on him but said she was rapped. I took her to the hospital for the rape test, a police report was filed... everything was moving forward when she told me it actually wasn't rape she was just drunk and made a bad decision. I took her straight to the police department and had her tell them everything. Luckily it hadn't went that far and the charges were dropped. And they didn't do a thing to her but lectured her on making a false report
By default in the West when it's a woman's word against a man's , a man = guilty... UNLESS proven innocent !! However the sentencing of Jemma Beale , for multiple rape & sexual assault false claims , ( one man had already served an undeserved 3 years in prison because of that warped creature ) to 10 years , surprised me , as women normally go unpunished for this ! Even though she will be out within 3 years , I hope this sets a precedent. Any wonder so many Western men do not trust their female counterparts?
I've heard people suggest that they should do the time that was intended for the man if he was convicted.
@Ozanne. I believe that is fair & reasonable , due to the sheer malice involved ( like Jemma Beale a pathological man hater ) , as false accusations can ruin a man's life forever in many cases , I have noticed the " trial by media " of accused men , they are named & shamed in the " media " , but if they are acquitted , this is NEVER later mentioned !! Plus hindering justice for REAL victims... and wasting police / justice system resources on top of that !!
Interesting and heart-breaking story. I think in order to avoid this I'll save it until marriage. I can't believe people are actually so cruel and selfish that they'd do that to another human being. I think women who falsely accuse raped should be imprisoned and have a record.
You could wait, but people are still accused of rape even if sex wasn't to be had. Read @MrOracle 's response.
Geez some people are sick aren't they?
I wonder if anyone is going to point out that guys can get raped too?
I mean it's all fine and dandy when only women are mentioned but I'd also like to point out this fact as well.
Is there the same mindset there as well or is that different?
Though to be honest women seem to be more cunning anyway (though women would have originally been the ones to choose mates anyway and not the other way around -who says that women have no power? I'd say we have enough already maybe not all over the world but we have enough to make a difference if it's used right).
What your saying is not at all new. False rape charges were popular during the years when segregation was in the south. White women often reported being raped by a black male because she didn't want her true intention to be known, such as prostitution.
Believe the Victim, i can understand the need for it because rape is serious and should be treated seriously, but some take advantage of it because they know they can.
This is why I am impersonal about hearing rape on TV. Should i believe or should I not? Yes it's awful to hear, but in the media, it's worse because people will know who you are.
Real victims stay hidden and never disclose the matter, but fake victims, ugh.
I remember one of our nation's greatest cricket players had an ex girlfriend accuse him of rape. He was arrested during the time of an important match series but later the same girl withdrew the case when she felt the pressure to release him, cause duh we all knew she was lying, and he was released.
The reason why she did it? They broke up and they had sex before that. He promised her marriage and now he obviously can't give it to her since they broke up. Talk about a real gold digger she KNOWS how much money and fame he has.
That's so messed up. That's horrible that his record can't be wiped clean.
Unfortunately, rape is one of those crimes where "innocent until you provide hard evidence" doesn't really work. It usually happens behind closed doors, without any witnesses. If the victim does happen to get a rape kit done (which most victims don't since they're so invasive) then the attacker could always just say it was consensual. Or, in this case, if it really was consensual then one person could always call it rape. It really is his word against hers.
Again, false accusations are horrible. But I still tend to lean towards believing the victim than doubting her/him. If something fishy comes up, of course, to make me question it (like your friend dating her "attacker") then I might.
You were incredibly lucky to have evidence in your case. Unfortunately, most victims don't. If I may ask, how were you able to audio record the guy without him knowing?
Thank you, unfortunately the justice system and white knights believe women are angel-like creatures who can never lie.
And this problem is being highlighted by a woman, utmost respect to you.
Usually it's us women who have the ears that get bent by our female friends who sometimes make these confessions. In this case it didn't happen like that to me, but in other ways I've been privvy to other female friends' stories that I didn't agree with (talks of revenge, etc.).
If a woman can start reasoning with her female friends instead of just sitting there nodding her head saying 'you go girl' then maybe the less problems would have erupted in the first place.
At this point, people have to be responsible for their choices. Sex belongs in marriage for this reason as well. But people don't want to wait, and sadly this do happen because people don't care to listen. It's hard to believe people who are already either sexually active or have the mentality to fool around before marriage. Extremely hard. Because now, what was their behavior pattern before it happened or they became active? This is what I look at. But I know some of those same victims whether truly are or not won't stop and do what is right. They will still put themselves in positions that will get them in that situation or worse again.
Exactly
Because nobody has been raped by their spouse right? ๐ What a nonsensical argument. Rape happens in the marital bed.
@Blonde401 Agreed. Rape also can be accused against someone who didn't even have sex with someone else. Read @MrOracle 's response. Not everyone can protect themselves against a crazy who wants to cause trouble.
I wasn't referring to people lying about being raped. I was merely stating that the statement 'sex belongs in marriage for this reason' is utter crap. People in marriages get raped all the time.
@Blonde401
Rape by spouse sadly is what it is. Rape is still rape, but you are still better off married to somebody you trust instead of somebody on a whim. People get raped by their spouses who were NOT good for them from the beginning. I know all about spousal rape. You date and marry a lustful person, what do you think will happen? They will more and likely rape you if they feel like you're neglecting them sexually. Use your head and common sense, not what you feel between your legs and butterflies in the stomach.
People CAN protect themselves by not being so trusting to every and anybody. Question EVERYTHING. Ask educated guess. Do NOT go to places alone with a stranger. What is the basic things we learn as children: do NOT talk to strangers. Since when have this basic instruction go out the window as we become adults?
It is not utter crap. You do what you want and you will suffer the consequences of your actions. Be more responsible or stay at home if you can't be responsible without being supervised. Adulthood does not mean be irresponsible. Things like this happen's in real life and people still see it as a joke. People who are not saving themselves and open to sexual encounters are the best victims. Especially when young, naive, and trusting of everyone or everything just because they either look friendly or handsome or harmless. Men rape because they feel they are entitled to sex since premarital sex is no longer taboo. Marital rape became common back then because men were literally
authoritarians over the wives and took the Biblical aspects of marriage far too literal to the point it became abusive. And misinterpreted what those scriptures were saying. That is why also Pastors and preachers are falsely using the scripture for wives to submit to their husbands, but don't get into why that is important the same way what husbands are commanded to do. To basically give the guys a free card and women are evil crap. People better do their research and know what they're talking about. This is why these rapes are getting worse and won't get better.
So if telling people to wait for marriage to have sex is dumb to society today, so is telling men to not rape. It's stupid. Women are not using common sense and this is how they end up in positions they shouldn't be in. The same with guys stupid enough to get into bed with such women instead of saying wait, this is wrong, we shouldn't be doing this. Nope. They don't care about that.
Pure victim blaming and nothing else. You hate your own gender.
@Blonde401 Oh please!
Because I have common sense and the rest of you don't? Ha! Truth is truth. You make the bed hard you lay in it. You just want an excuse to continue to do what you do and still get pity. Enough. This is why hardly anybody wants to take anybody seriously. Because where are your brains at? Seriously. We need to start hooking people up to MRI machines or something similar and start monitoring how you guys think because this is ridiculous. That's how you people get seriously hurt, raped and or killed. Everybody screaming victim blaming needs to grow up and seek professional counseling. If you don't want to get into that position then don't get involved in that kind of situation in the first place. Only you can be responsible for you. I thank God every day literally that I don't have you people mentality. I thank God. Or else I wouldn't be here today. ridiculous. This is why parents are becoming more strict and overprotective. Can't be trusted on your own.
Do what I do? What exactly are you accusing me of? I've been single and celebrate for 3 years! And only people who are the victim of rape are responsible for being raped? Not their attacker? Jesus. You're a vile person.
@Blonde401
BOTH are responsible. Period. BOTH. A young child or teenager still needs the supervision of parents. Young adult and up, and they have to be responsible for what they were taught growing up. And if the parents weren't doing their jobs, it is the same. This is about accountability. That is what the legal age means. BEING ACCOUNTABLE. If they chose to drink and become incoherent, they are responsible for getting drunk. And if it leads to them getting raped, then they are equally responsible for that as the rapist. The next time if they thankfully survive should be a lesson for them not to go to bars, not be with somebody alone, and drinking. If they do drink, drink small cup, or don't drink at all. That is a perfect example. But if they continue doing that, then whose fault is it this time? This is the kind of thing people don't think about. The details. I take things like this seriously because it's not a joke. If people want to play games with their lives then they have
to be responsible for their lives. Or expect to God forbid end up on 'Dateline' or 'I almost got away with it', etc. That will God forbid be the next thing because they want to swoon at every 'cute guy' at the bar, feeling them up, getting intoxicated. Or back when I was on yahoo answers and I encountered 2 girls, bringing their boyfriends home, during school hours, trying to have sex with the parents not around, then getting raped as virgin on the spot. The other, knowing that 3 of her now ex male friends was lusting after her since elementary school, invited them to her house thinking it's okay and then what happens? They dragged her upstairs to her room, stripped her bare naked, tied her to her posted, and each raped her on the spot one by one, blood on her sheets and they left her there, gagged to boot. How anybody found something was wrong, was her boyfriend who got the spare key and found her like that. Okay? This is not a joke. This is what disturbs me every single time somebody
says premarital sex and lust have nothing to do with it. But I'm vile? I tell and talk about these things to warn people. To protect them, guide them, be informed. But I am only one person. That is my job as an Adult like any other rational adult, whether thinker or feeler should do. But nobody who isn't supposedly religious isn't doing that. This is a problem. And I'm addressing it as a problem. I look at the victim because it's easy to accuse a rapist or the accused. Especially without hard evidence. Because if victims are not using rational and common sense, they can potentially get seriously hurt or end up dead. Men need's to be responsible for their own urges, but if we women are exploiting them and promoting free the nipple crap, and feminism, and women can have as much as she wants crap, and porn, etc, what do people actually expect? Pleasantville? There isn't anything pleasant about it. I am talking about legal adults here. Not children, not human/sex trafficked victims.
This is why I believe in marital sex ONLY. Why parents should be invested in their children's romance and dating life, etc. Why I believe in modesty and the biblical way of living that ALL HUMAN BEINGS should be living. But everybody will not do that. Not every parent is going to care. Or be invested. I don't want to see ANYBODY get hurt, raped, or ruin their future. But I cannot be responsible for their choices that I have already foreseen will be trouble. But neither am I going to lie about it or keep my mouth shut about it just because other people, good and evil don't like it. You may have been celibate for 3 years, but you don't realize that this mindset of yours will get you into serious trouble where god forbid YOU may get into that position yourself. This is why I said that you do what you want. Because again, only you can be responsible for you. That includes every situation you put yourself in. Men should not be touching women they aren't married to. But if women do not want
to keep their legs closed, their own their own. That's all. This is why rapist do what they do. It's not always about dominance. It's a lust-filled consense. They want sex, they feel can't have sex, it drives them insane, porn is getting them high, but the want the real thing, society says get a girlfriend, but no girl really wants him, or even if was sexually active, premarital sex still rewired his thinking. Now, he just needs to find the best victim that fits his fetish. This is what men do not want to tell you. Lots of men struggle with this and us women take it as a joke. Trampling on them, and increasing their mental issues as it develops. For women rapist, it's a mixture of lust and biological needs. I know this because my dad said that he felt like becoming one when he felt sexually neglected by his girlfriends or girls when he was younger. So you're wrong about that. The dominance thing is a myth. It's individual needs. Dominance is one of it, but LUST drives it.
Because only sluts who go out at night get raped right? You're so delusional it's painful. Get out of here with your horrendous bible bashing nonsense. I really hope you're never on a jury. Your perception of rape and of women is disgusting. Plenty of people all over the world get raped without being drunk. (Not that being drunk is an excuse for someone else to rape you). Kids get raped. Is it their fault too?
As soon as you speak about the bible your opinion is just garbage. If you live your life following a little book of rules, written by old men to keep women down, then you're even more uneducated and small minded that you originally let on. You're a horrible person. You're blaming victims for being raped. Thank your stars that you've never been raped.
If men rape - they are the problem. Not the woman. Whether she's drunk or naked or whatever. If someone murders someone else, is it the victims fault for provoking them? Jesus Christ you're unreal.
It shows you know nothing about the psychology of rape. Shows how uneducated you are. But then you get all your education from the bible right? So no wonder. How embarrassing. You're so judgmental of others. You don't know me, whatsoever. How dare you insinuate that I basically deserve to get raped. Please never have kids.
@Blonde401 WHOA! Where are you getting this crap from? Stop getting so emotional and overreacting to things you're not even paying attention to. I can tell you don't want to pay attention so I will clarify for you. Did I say ANYTHING about people deserving to get raped? NO. Stop putting words in my mouth and stop assuming if you can't even give an educated answer yourself. PROVE to me that I said that women deserved to be raped. PROVE it. If you cannot prove I said it in those exact words, then you have no case.
If you're sleeping with somebody who you are not married to that is considered whorish. I did not make the rules. If people do not want to follow, it is free will, their choice. But it comes with many consequences. That is our reality. Where have I said that people all over do not get raped? I am talking about Bars, and places where sex take place. Not random activities on the street, or children. Get that straight. You can't even prove I said something I didn't say.
Neither have I insinuated that you deserved to get raped. This is how people like you will get into trouble one day because you're putting words in other people's mouths and you can't even keep up with what was said. Basic listening comprehension skills you learn in school. I can why some men get frustrated talking to us females. It's like speaking another foreign language.
"If men rape - they are the problem. " ONLY if we're not perpetuating the problem ourselves. That is the difference. This is what you're not getting. By promoting premarital sex, you're promoting it. By allowing sexual advances, you are promoting it. But not paying attention to your surroundings you can god forbid be a target and get hurt. This is common sense. Any adult who understands what I'm talking about agrees with me. I came from the hood where such activities go around. That's why Thank God I haven't been raped. But I knew of the kind people who did living either in my building or around me. Because I followed my OWN advice. And not participating in places I have no business being in, getting home on time and paying attention to what I do, who I speak to, analyzing everything about them in case I had to report them or tell somebody, etc. But I'm crazy? Delusional? Okay.
If I were married and had kids, they would be taught better and how to stay safe, and stay away from people
who are not good for them. And the wrong crowd, and not to follow other people. But I'm too am celibate, and have no desire for marriage, or sex and children. Because I wouldn't want them suffering in this world for what is about to come. That is how much I love them and they don't even exist. I speak what I speak because I love people. With tough love. But you call it judging. Love protects. Not exploit and hurt. Some kids don't have parents to truly love them, or parents caring and wished they had. But you call it judging. Fair enough.
Yes we should all stop overanalyzing here! Rape is wrong period and I'm sure most women wouldn't lie. But many do and I wonder why. I don't know why @Blonde401 thinks you're against your own gender.
@Asad1ONE1 Because many feel betrayed and lied too from the opposite sex. That's part of what I believe. It's really messed up. But this is their mentality, and like I said people are responsible for what they knew. If they didn't then, they know now. And now they have to make a choice to change or keep going. What it is, is that people want's to do what they do without judgement or consequences. But it doesn't work like that in this kind of world. They know this is the truth and hate the truth. This is why it's going to get worse a lot sooner than people realize.
lied to*
Maybe because you stated earlier that "premarital sex" being allowed is the reason for rape? Isn't that what you said?
@Asad1ONE1 Yes, and it's true. You should know biblically what happened in the past. Rape was not that prevalent because if caught you got stoned. Same in the middle east or places that enforces that for real. But that is not allowed in this time. But what I said is true. If a girl believes this is okay and the guy thinks it's okay, and society says it's legal, what do you think will happen? They do so because they feel 'entitled' to that. It's still a crime. It's psychologically wired in their brain. Especially with porn. That means anybody can be a rapist.
Overall, I;m not going to let this spat we had bother me because I know the truth. I've spoken to raped and molested victims before and know people personally who have been in that situation or closed to getting raped. People have to learn, and sadly they will learn the easy way or the hard way. This world is no joke or a game. And people want's to continue playing with life like it is.
"By allowing sexual advances, you are promoting it" you're basically saying any woman who doesn't instantly reject any form of sexual advance, deserves to get raped. Which is complete shit.
Getting emotional? Nah that's you Hun. You're the one writing a three page essay every single reply.
Rape was not that prevalent? Are you serious? ๐ If you believe everything the bible tells you, you need help with your mental health issues.
You're going to believe what you want. I'm trying to explain to you my stance and overall situation, but I see I'm wasting my time. If you think premarital sex and all that garbage is okay to you. Be honest and say that you do and you think what I think is a joke. So I know next time not to take you seriously. I'm going to say it one more time, and THEN I'm leaving you alone. Do NOT put words in my mouth I never said, and you cannot even prove it. Please. Because I can see you have no respect whatsoever of what I am saying. I already said I never said anything about anybody deserving to get raped. But what I see with you, you like seeing people messing around with no consequence. Let's be real and honest. You're the one with mental issues. If I have any thing, it's your kind of people driving sane people crazy with your drama and nonsense, and want people to pity when things don't go the way you want it. I'm not going to do it. Just be prepared to hear more incidents. And don't ask why
You're literally saying premarital sex is the only reason people get raped. You're utterly delusional and living in la la land. Married men rape women. Married men rape their wives. Men who've never had sex before rape women. But of course, that doesn't happen does it in your world? No. it's just sluts who get themselves in to trouble. You're not a woman at all, in any sense of the world.
Here you go again. THANK YOU for reinforcing my assumptions of you. THANK YOU! Goes to show you don't know how to listen and pay attention. You just yap off your mouth thinking. Still making assumptions about me. Still can't prove it, still going off topic, rendering off to fit your fancy, twisting up what I'm saying, and you don't care what you do. And you have the audacity to not call ME a woman? Where are you being a woman by saying the junk your saying to me? If that's the case then why are you celibate for 3 years if what you're saying is so right?
Answer my questions in order then if you want to keep replying back with this ludicrousy.
1. Did I say that premarital sex is the only reason people get raped? NO. If I did. Prove it.
2. Did I say that married men do NOT rape women while married? NO. If I did. Show and prove it.
3. Did I say that only MEN who are sexually active only rape women? NO.
4. Did I say that it's ONLY sluts, whores only get raped? NO.
without thinking*
"You're literally saying..." Don't give me this crap. You're deflecting what I am telling and asking you personally. I don't want to hear 'literally'. 'Literally' doesn't cut it if you want to debate an opinion based on facts. But if you don't want to answer my questions, I'll answer for you.
1. Did I say that premarital sex is the only reason people get raped? NO. If I did. Prove it.
PROOF --> "Because now, what was their behavior pattern before it happened or they became active? This is what I look at. But I know some of those same victims whether truly are or not won't stop and do what is right. They will still put themselves in positions that will get them in that situation or worse again." [PUT themselves in positions that WILL get them in that situations or worse.]
Proof #2: "People who are not saving themselves and open to sexual encounters are the best victims. " BEST VICTIMS. Not that they are the ONLY victims.
2. Did I say that married men do NOT rape women while married? NO. If I did. Show and prove it.
PROOF: "Rape by spouse sadly is what it is. Rape is still rape, but you are still better off married to somebody you trust instead of somebody on a whim. People get raped by their spouses who were NOT good for them from the beginning. I know all about spousal rape. You date and marry a lustful person, what do you think will happen? They will more and likely rape you if they feel like you're neglecting them sexually. Use your head and common sense, not what you feel between your legs and butterflies in the stomach."
3. Did I say that only MEN who are sexually active only rape women? NO.
PROOF: "Men rape because they feel they are entitled to sex since premarital sex is no longer taboo." <--- If they believe in premarital sex, they feel entitled to sex before marriage. It doesn't matter what their status of their penis is. This applies to any man, virgin or not.
4. Did I say that it's ONLY sluts, whores only get raped? NO.
PROOF: " I am talking about Bars, and places where sex take place. Not random activities on the street, or children." So unless sex trafficking victims, religious/Christian girls, etc fits going to bars, I clearly just said 'BARS, and places where sex take place. That includes 'sex parties' if you want to go there.
Funny how I can defend everything I say, yet you can't even defend what you say.
Are you serious? Rape can still happen in marriages. But yes it may reduce the likely hood.
@Asad1ONE1 Didn't I just say that? Look at Q#2.
Yes btbc92 you have a point here. Marriage is a mutual decision and thus reduces the likely hood of rape. Why so? Is it because "compatibility" is the reason why most people get married in the first place?
Sexual compatibility means no chances of rape by either sex! LOL!!!
She accused me of saying that married men don't rape their wives. Never have I said this. She got upset because I reinforced what the word of God says about being married before engaging in sexual activity, and those who don't are at higher risk of getting raped by men [since the whole myTake was about men]. Then accused me of not being a woman, because I said what I said that offended her because she believes in premarital sex and doesn't like what was said. That's all. I know what it is. If you pay attention to who you're getting involved with and their mindset, making sure they aren't crazy or mentally ill, you're less likely to get raped. Doesn't mean it can't or won't happen. But it's safer. Unlike dating, in marriage, it is a requirement you trust your spouse.
They believe sexual compatibility is having premarital sex. It's not. It's talking about what you will and won't do during sex. And if it's a dealbreaker, stop dating them and don't marry that person. Common sense.
@Blonde401 She doesn't hate her own gender dummy. She has a point that you apparently missed! Besides, rape can happen by men or women.
@Asad1ONE1 No offense. I think it's best not to call her dummy. She's been in this situation before, that is why she is reacting the way she is. I sense it strongly. But what I said prior still stands. People have to take measures to protect themselves and their children.
You're correct. I shouldn't fight fire with fire. She's clearly blinded by her past experience to understand the logic. My apologies to her. She does seem agitated and even blocked me a few weeks ago for trying to explain something to her the same way you are now. I can only wish her the best.
@Asad1ONE1
What you experienced is classic behavior of a rape/molested victim, or victim of sexual harassment. I too have been a victim of sexual harassment of inappropriate touching at 2 different parts of my life. 1 as a 3rd grader being touched on my butt by a fellow student in class and told the teacher after he did it about twice. To teach him a lesson, I flung my hand at his. And again as a 20 years old by a Chinese guy who started flinging one of my breast with his finger, and pinched! I was petrified and couldn't move. He did this in public! And a guy saw this from a few feet away from me, looked at me from his smartphone, smirks and then goes upstairs to his apartment entrance in a two apartment building! Did nor say ANYTHING. As much as I was equally to blame for not calling the cops on him. I couldn't because there was no proof or evidence to have him arrested, and by him being of old age, and speaking Manderian, they'll less likely to do so.
I can own up to what I did wrong. If I can do it as a victim of that, so can others. That is the path to healing. Acknowledgement, prevention, healthy boundaries, healing! And if severe, counseling, and much prayer.
I've been sexually harassed by girls too at a young age. But unlike both of you I'm not taking my anger out on them and generalizing. No wonder why you say things like "women aren't as desperate" or "women don't care for it much". You may clearly mean offense.
@Asad1ONE1 I am not taking my anger out on anybody. What I said personally about my personal experiences have 0 to do what I had said before in our last discussions. I said before what I am saying is what was already told to me by women who ARE sexually active and or aren't but go through temptation dealing with men. That is why I said I can't speak for all women. But overall stating what the majority have told to me about what I said. Not the ones who do go for looks and have sex with whosoever that want.
If women were always desperate they would be going after every guy they can find and not wait for a guy to make a move. They can desire to have a man in their lives, yes. But how far would they go to risk making a move to snag a guy? Not that many. Why reject every guy that approach them for some girls? Because they either aren't that interested in that particular guy, or not interested period.
Sorry for my assumptions. But how many women have you spoke too? If I may ask lol.
@Asad1ONE1 Well, starting from my childhood when I already knew about sex? A pretty good amount. Starting from girls who were interested in dating in elementary, middle school mostly, a small few in my 1st high school, rarely in my graduating h. s. At the doctors offices and other places on and off, family members, friends of friends, friends of members, on yahoo answers years ago, and the special few on here, besides random strangers wanting to talk to you about their personal life. So, yeah. A lot.
Oh, That includes church and when I volunteered for a few years as well.
Yes, I talk about this in public too. It's not just online.
Well I am not saying they are "always" desperate" lol. Neither are men. It depends on the person and the mood. It has nothing to do with "women don't care for sex much" or that "women only do it to please their partners".
The genders are exactly the same when it comes to sexual desire.
@Asad1ONE1 I'm not saying that we aren't. I'm saying that we handle it differently and have different perceptions on how we handle it. This is why a lot of guys get's stumped when a girl doesn't want to be intimate with him. Too many guys skip romance, according to the ones I've spoken to, and still aspect sex. That is what I am saying as an example.
If you don't know how to treat your lover right, whether married or not, you will affect their sex drive.
Well what did all those women say?
@Asad1ONE1 Exactly what I've been telling you all this time. All I did was sum it up into one or few sentences. But you call it me generalizing.
But if you want a few examples, please understand I can't remember everything they said in detail but what I can remember.
Both single, virgin, married or unmarried. May or may not be religious or Christian:
- Few have said that they are attracted to the guy, but get's put off when they don't take other interest.
-Others have said that all they wanted to do was cuddle, but their guy doesn't. Just wants to feel them up or get them in the mood for sex. Then get's offended. <--- from descriptions online back on Yahoo Answers.
-Few said they don't understand what's up with the guy behaving like 'dogs'. They said this, not me, and that they wouldn't mind to do any of that but feels like their personal feelings aren't valued/reciprocated.
For my friends who are Christian:
Same as with example #1, but would like to wait for that in marriage, of course.
One of my friends who didn't wait for marriage felt like she was used the whole entire time, and he didn't take her feelings into
consideration. Now married, she is struggling with her husband on and off with this.
Everything else was their personal opinion. Now that I'm thinking about it, I find all of this depressing even though that isn't me.
Lol that is not what you said earlier! So said "most women don't care for it" Science has already proved that people (man or woman) do not need an emotional connection for sex. It is a preference.
My late mother before she found out she was sick had this same issue with my dad. He kept pushing sex from her or he was going leave, made it out like he cheated on her physically for real, etc, and all it did was hurt my mom. She told me that it wasn't like she didn't want to have sex with him, but he always hurt her feelings and emotions and it put her down. Like all he was thinking about was sex and nothing else. He had such a high sex drive because he messed around with over 40+ women besides my mom and my sister's mom. Also, another sexually turn off for some people. My dad saw sex as something just physical, my mom a way to spiritually and emotionally connect with your partner. So I also say personality and character also plays a role.
@Asad1ONE1
Again, as I said, overall most don't. But do, because of personal interest or because they want/feel they have to. That is what I said. I just now described what was told to me in general.
Perhaps I worded it wrong. Allow me to put it like this: If women do not already have a personal reason for sex, that isn't what they already want for themselves, like for men, they won't participate in it. Women in general as I said desire to connect with a man through his heart, but have a hard time understanding that men overall desire this through sex. And some men have a hard time understanding that women need's to overall feel emotionally connected [to his heart], to equally desire sex in that context. This was not always like this. But what I WAS saying is referring to modern day women. You have to remember that premarital sex, feminism, porn have distorted the mentality behind sex. What I was saying is that modern day women, overall, have a poor negative view about sex. Mainly
in marriage.
I have been doing research online over the years. In fact, if you listen to marriage counselors, it's usually a similar story. Look up some of Mark Gungor's work, he explains it better. But I have talked about this since my teenage years mostly than my middle and elementary school years.
That's another reason why I had said all the time in my post, I understand men's frustrations. But if men only think that women are only good for sex and children, that's an negative way of viewing sex and women as a whole. Eventually with every failed sexual relationship, even though the sexually active woman desires sex because her body wants to mostly, she won't do that again if she feels she is just going to get used. That's why some go on being single or celibate for a very long time until they can find the right partner.
Plus, if a woman is focused on career or things others than a guy, she is not going to concern herself with that. And the proof of it, especially for Christian women is this verse from 1 Corinthians 7:34 KJV: "There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband." Having sex are things of the world. That's why this whole scripture is about making wise sexual choices and less to do with marriage. But points out the importance of being sexual in marriage and if you wanted to marry as a virgin you haven't sinned. If you're tempted and crossing boundaries, it's wise to marry before you go further. It is a SIGN for you to get married before you enter into sexual sin.
Wrong again! "All" women/men desire it equally. Not even "most". I don't know how you got that impression. You're not making sense here.
Where did I say I was for or about premaritial sex? Where did I say that? Where's the proof? Show me the proof that I said that. Nowhere did I promote pre marital sex.
@Asad1ONE1 I blocked you. Im asking you to stop harassing me, stop calling me names etc. You were blocked for a reason. I'm not going to speak to you again, move on with your life.
@Blonde401 You didn't have to say. How you came at me by accusing me of saying people who have premarital sex are sluts and whores and only them get raped. And how that's not it. That's what it shows me. By your reactions. If you didn't find it okay for anybody to do, you wouldn't be saying all of this for over 40+ replies other than those who wanted to reply back.
You said this among a few things: " You're literally saying premarital sex is the only reason people get raped. You're utterly delusional and living in la la land. Married men rape women. Married men rape their wives. Men who've never had sex before rape women. But of course, that doesn't happen does it in your world? No. it's just sluts who get themselves in to trouble. You're not a woman at all, in any sense of the world."
Why would you say this if you don't think premarital sex is okay? It doesn't matter where rape takes place. Rape is still rape. Hence why I KEEP saying sex is a marriage, and marriage is about sex.
What your not understanding like a lot of people, whether secular and even most CHRISTIANS sadly today do get is that you create soul ties with people your not married to. With rape, that experienced was forced on you, thus your transferring spirits/demons, whatever you like to call them they are all the same thing. And your become ONE with them. They become you, you become them, not just a part of them. They mirror you, you mirror them, they pick up your habits, and you get where this is going. You obtain traits, behaviors, and habits whether good or bad. Which makes it twice as scary with sex in a spiritual manner, every partner they had, when you have sex with them, you basically having sex with them. DO the research. I've been doing my research on this matter since 18 years old on my own time. Hence why I'm online a lot. I've spoken to raped victims and molested victims on Yahoo Answers before, at least 2/3. And I know of two people personally who also have been raped.
Rape is about LUST. But it's not the only driving factor, hence why rapes cases are not always the same. The girls that I said on Yahoo answers, got raped by people they knew and weren't married to. 1 got raped by her boyfriend as was a virgin. The other got raped by her 3 friends who was lusting after her since elementary school, was foolish to invite them into her home at night with her parents gone, and they gagged and raped her in her room, leaving her to bleed on her bed bare naked and tied up to her post. Both incidences which should have NEVER have happened. 2 teenage girls of the ages 15/16 at the time. Both had boys home without parental consent, both got raped in the same setting, both had acknowledged it wasn't a smart idea to invite them [their words, not mine], both were virgins, and still got raped. One said she is going to wait for marriage for now on. The other being gang raped, said she is now [then at the time] terrified of sex, and she would never participate
In fact, here is one the post I saved from that time. I don't think it's on there anymore, they often delete old questions:
When I was 16 years old I was raped?
When I was 16 years old, my lose my virginity to my first boyfriend. At around that age some teenagers feel like they maybe ready for sex. I thought I was. Me and my ex boyfriend were at the basketball court and I was messing around with him. I asked him about how I wanted to do it with him and how my parents were not home so could go back to my place and do it. In his eyes he didn't want to lose it and he wanted to keep it (virginity). We were both had not had sex before. We were new at it. I kept on pushing him to go back home with me and do it. He finally gave up and we went back to my place. We both went upstairs to my room and I was nervous and didn't want to feel much pain. Finally he put his penis in me and it hurt so bad and I told him to pull now. He said " B@#!$ you are going to take this." I was thinking what is
is going on it's not suppose to be this way. I started to kick, punch and try to push him away but he was stronger then me. I cried and told him to stop but he wouldn't. I felt myself ripping in half and I just wanted someone to save me. I felt myself becoming lifeless and I couldn't feel anything anymore. I turned my head while he was doing the rest to me. I thought I was going to die that day because it was so much pain and so much hurt within me. I thought he was a nice guy but I guess he wasn't. Every girl believes that there first time is always going to be special but believe me... it wasn't special for me
This is the exact post left intact, that I thank God everyday that I copy and pasted after I answered her question like I do here. This was my response to her, back then mind you I was under a different username. And her response after she picked my answer as best.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker
I'm very sorry to hear about this. But your story is the main reason why I don't agree with sex before marriage. You suffered the harsh reason for not waiting. This was not love nor will sex ever be during a relationship outside of marriage, it's false. I suggest you wait for marriage the next time you feel ready for sex for real. That so called boyfriend of yours needs to be put in jail for such a crime. Thank you for sharing your story. Just know that your still a virgin in spirit, and you still belong to your husband. God knows what happened to you, and he still loves you. But that boy will pay for his crime if he does not repent. You learned your lesson, but now is not the time for a boyfriend. This is the time to heal. People who had your situations will always blaim God for this, or why didn't he stop it. But the truth is was there with you, but it doesn't mean he will interfere. He will only do that if you invite him to. But if you shun God he take'
Oh so you can insinuate and accuse but I can't state facts? ๐ Ok.
Rape has nothing to do with lust. If you actually read anything more than the bible you'd know this. But hey, you're a 'christian' which just means you sit on your throne of judgement and judge everyone else in the world based on a book of complete nonsense and never read facts. ๐ You do you boo, I'm done trying to educate a crazy person. Not reading your essay replies. Bye.
take's his protection off of you, and you have to understand that this was also on your part as well. But forgive yourself, forgive taht boy who did this horrible crime to you. It is not worth the bitterness or hatred. You can not enter heaven with that. And one day you will have a husband, who will love you for you. And will never hurt you regardless of your pass. You are free. Be free, and don't have sex again before marriage or else it will be the same hurt even if it's not what you experienced. You had enough and suffered enough.
I will keep you in prayer. Be safe for now on, ok. And if you need a friend I'm here. And everyone else who agrees with me is here for you. Your not alone.
Asker's Rating:
Asker's Comment:
Thank you for the wonderful advice.
But according to you I'm victim blaming. No. I'm not. I told her like everyone else the truth in love. To help her understand how dangerous the situation was by doing what she did inviting him home for sex. She didn't know what may
happen. But sadly it did. You don't know how badly reading it pained me as a virgin to know somebody like that can do something some vile, and that's supposed to mean love? Outside of marriage, or even in marriage forcefully? No, it's not. And this is why I stand on God's word. If you read 1 Corinthians 7 it tells you your rights as a unmarried person and as a married person. But when you get involved with the wrong kind of person, and your promoting the wrong thing, this happens.
@Blonde401 I don't have to insinuate nothing. But it shows me your justified of anything you do, so at the end of the day, like I said, if you don't want to read anything. It's on you for now on. I did my part.
I feel sorry for @Blonde401. And I'm not being sarcastic either. Very sad ๐
@Asad1ONE1 get lost. I told you you're blocked, don't try and bring up old arguments. You're blocked for a reason, stop harassing me.
@Blonde401 Everyone knows I'm not. Seriously
@Asad1ONE1 you are. You're going throug old comments to start an argument. Pathetic.
@Blonde401 I do that everywhere lol. I go through notifications, old or new. I'm just letting you know that your insecurities and hate will hurt you alone, not me. I'm all good. And don't say I know nothing about you, all I know about is your attitude, which is of a child. You're 27. Grow up seriously. And don't think that I care whether you blocked me. I'm trying to help.
And @btbc92 needs a serious lesson on human sexuality. It's laughable how someone seemingly so intelligent is a victim of a HUGE myth.
... well she is only 25 lol. Poor little girl ๐ฏ.
@Asad1ONE1 you're so arrogant. Go away.
You're the one who's behaving like a child who won't disappear when he's blocked. I am no longer replying to you.
@Asad1ONE1
I don't know where you are getting off being so disrespectful to me about human sexuality, and you're claiming yourself to be a believer of God. You know what the word of God says about sin and where it comes from.
How am I being sinful telling you that you're wrong on your statements of human sexuality? How does that mean I'm a disbeliever in God?
If you are the guy you are automatically guilty, the courts are biased against men, especially in the divorce courts.
Girls "Swat" guys all the time. God help you if the cops are trigger happy and I feared for my life" types and you happen to be black.
Here is another law misandrists can pervert.
www.louderwithcrowder.com/misogyny-hate-crime-uk/
Hate that when something like that occurs bc many men are taken advantage of that and we lose everything she its nothing but lies. Until both stories are heard the legal system still seem to be going on females. Gender racism but until all is heard then the calls should be made of innocent or guilty
Goddamn, that Lisa is a grade-A cunt. And yeah, I agree. As much as we should take every accusation seriously we still need to allow the accused a defense, sometimes it seems like we give more leeway to someone accused of murder than someone accused of even non-violent rape.
Also, this (false rape accusations, pregnancy faking, etc...) is one of the reasons I shake my head every time I see or hear about a guy getting involved with a BPD girl. Guys are so thirsty it makes them stupid enough to play Russian roulette with their lives for a bit of sex.
I mean, I take rape very seriously no matter what sex claims it. So, I need proof before prosecution. The horrible fact that women lie about rape, though...
IMHO, Lisa's false case should not be considered rape in the eyes of the law anyway. This incident is not isolated, as you said, there are many women who regret their decision of having sex with a particular guy, and tries to blame the guy for the process. If you are drunk, and went home with a guy, I'm sorry but that's your problem.
In a legal system where driving a car is your problem, and being drunk with your own consent does not waive any criminal activity you've committed, how come decision of going home with a guy can be the guy's responsibility?
This will be sexist, I know it, but it fits in perfectly. There is a reason we call cowards "pussy" in the guy's world.
There's also a reason why we call people who compare women to inanimate objects sexist. False equivalency is a dishonest, disingenuous person's best friend.