Girls, This is When You Need to Stop Pursuing a Guy

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Girls, this is when you need to stop pursuing a guy

DISCLAIMER: I do not mean that you should never try to pursue a guy or just think of it.

Okay, so you might have been in love with a guy already and thought "I like him, I hope he likes me too." And the next steps would be to talk to him, get to know him and then ask him out. Which way you ever prefer: In person, by message, or a friend. He might or might not appreciate one way or the other. But that's your choice and your luck.

Now what about his reaction? You might want to avoid direct responses, like "nope" or "what? never!" or even worse. OR it could be "yes, of course" or "I thought you'd never ask!" These two variations are extreme, of course. But do you recall any experience? Whether it's better to ask someone out in person or by texts? Maybe you were lucky so far.

But consider this: As soon as a guy does NOT respond in any similar ways like those above, you should reconsider your interaction with him. I don't really mean detailed things like if you smelled bad or something. But we guys do see as much as you as you see in us. That's no one-way thing.

From my experience, I can tell you that I had the bad luck of being pursued by weird girls mostly. Those who didn't talk, or those who thought that actions speak louder than words - and showed up at my house. Or got my number and called me. Even on Skype.

Weird, right? This is what we guys hate. Because not only you girls can be stalked. You can also be stalkers. Now, if you might think: "But what if he likes me and is just afraid of telling?" Don't you think he would if you'd just have talked to him? We guys don't play these mind games as much as you girls, if ever. So if you want to be sure, just ask. We won't bite.

So, if you think it's wise to look out for "signs", such as long staring or looking away as soon as you look... don't you think it's rather coincidal if you might only attend this one or two times? There are more girls than one to look at. And we guys look at you, yes. At most of you. So while you continue watching out for signs, consider this: You're present. In one way or the other. If you're just walking by or sitting at the other end of the room in class. We notice you. Even though we don't observe you. BUT: Whenever you try to notice something about the guy, when you try to interprete things or test things on him: You're at risk of being noticed - and being judged. That you're around too much, that you behave weirdly. That's not meant to sound mean. It's just what we notice. And now think about it: If you might actually think that you can change a guy, let him see how "wonderful" you are and how "perfectly" you'd fit to him... Do you really? If you need to make a change in the way he sees you: You do have to make a change in the way he things about girls - such as you. And that way of harming his freedom of choice, to make him think of you in a different way... didn't we get already that we guys look at more girls than one per day? Sure, the other girls might try these mind games as well. You might even compete with other girls to get the guy of your dreams. Or they might not. Maybe they do already fit to him, the way they are, the way they act towards him. And they didn't change anything. Now, you may view it like this: Which would you rather choose: A guy who was single and willing to date? Or a guy who followed you around much, talked to you, tried to change your opinion on him? I think that should be pretty clear here.

Now if a guy already had seen you around much, maybe even talked to his friends about you and what you did there - it's about time for him to approach you and confess his feelings to you - provided that he really liked you. If not? You're not that lucky so far. He might have wondered about what you did there, even worried you might do worse things in the future. And talk to your friends about that. Ask them to make you stop doing whatever you did there. Now let's imagine that these friends would have persuaded him to date you... what do you think it might be like? Or, to be precise: What do you remember what you did that he might definitely find unappealing about you? And you look at him while talking - and you didn't know if that's on his mind. Like ever. He might always wonder if there was something wrong about you. Imagine that grow. Over months. And you might end up wondering what might be in some years after you CONSIDER yourself having been lucky to have asked out that guy. Like, this is the answer: He won't really forget about what you did there. That girl who he's supposed to love and fancy even more.. had tried to change him. Manipulate him.

Sorry girls, but that wouldn't work for me. Like, a girl would not be able to be herself, would have to pretend to be someone else, and suppose me to love her? Could you imagine this vice-versa? A horrible thought. THIS is where you should wake up.

Be yourself. Ask him out. And good luck.

Girls, This is When You Need to Stop Pursuing a Guy
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