On Embracing My Masculinity

[Letitgoogoo]

Hey everyone. I know what you're thinking, is this some feminist type BS? Well, no haha. I didn't choose to be masculine, now the masculinity I'm talking about is more than just my personality or clothing choices, I'm not just a tomboy but I'm androgynous. Meaning I have features that are both masculine and feminine and can look like both genders. However, I'm more masculine looking than feminine (I have quite a sharp jawline and cleft chin, I'm 5'11", I have a deep voice, a sloping forehead along with a receding but okayish hairline haha, high and sharp cheekbones, thin hair, big hands and big feet, big shoulders with small hips or 'apple' body shape, etc.) and I've decided to start embracing my masculinity. Ever since I was young, I was a tomboy who liked mens clothes (still do) and video games and crime or mystery books and I still enjoy those things till this day. I'm a masculine person with a little bit of femininity, and my masculinity shows in my appearance and features, my clothes and my way of thinking.

1. My personality

I'm always seen as a good leader. I always like to take the lead and plan things out. I'm very upfront and honest, which is also seen as a masculine trait. I can be easy going at times and indecisive but that's at personal things, at professional settings I'm the complete opposite and my purpose is to get things done in the best way possible. I'm also the kind of person who will always try to give you advice or help you out when you come to me with an issue, which is not very appreciated by other women and I've started to learn that they just want someone to listen to them unless they state otherwise (however I hate that and if I go to someone with my problem or they ask me what's wrong I don't wanna hear a 'damn, that sucks' I'd rather they discuss with me and lay out the options or give me a different perspective to see things with). I'm quite assertive as well but I can be very very shy and insecure at times and I'm a very sensitive person (that's my more feminine side). I'm very wise and a critical and logical thinker, everything has to make sense all the time and I rarely consider the emotional aspect of things which can be bad sometimes but thats basically my masculine side. After all of this though, I still have a submissive personality at times. I will try to please everyone, do everything right and sometimes don't even stand up for myself (that's more a pushover than submissive though). I think i have a good balance between masculinity and femininity when it comes to personality and I'm not super submissive or super dominant.

2. My looks

I've already briefly mentioned my masculine features, but my looks have always been androgynous/sharper than the other girls. It's something I'm still working on accepting, however most of the time I don't care and I don't mind how I look unless I'm trying to look feminine to fit in (which I hate looking feminine if I'm being honest. With my features, height and body type I just can't pull off the feminine cute girl look). I've learned that I only appreciate dark makeup (i don't wear it outside the house of course but I still like it) and the whole gothic look or punk look I'm into that and like masculinizing my features and making them all blend together. I have really deep set but big eyes and they look really nice so I like the heavy makeup that makes them look even more squinted and deep set if that makes sense, kind of like a feline's eye. And I like my other sharp features as well, however I hate looking androgynous at times because I don't want to be in the middle, I'd rather look fully feminine or fully masculine and fully masculine is more my thing. As for my body type I like it and I like building muscle in my arms and legs and wearing mens clothes.

3. My style

Like I said I've always been kind of a tomboy and dressing in mens clothes or in more casual and comfortable looking clothes. I like mens hoodies, T shirts, Jean's, jackets, and long sleeve shirts. I still wear feminine clothes from time to time but like I said they don't fit me right for my body type and I don't pull them off. But for example pairing a skirt with a mens t-shirt and a cardigan with flats or sports shoes can look very good and I get compliments on my outfits all the time. Or a dress with Van's, or a skirt with a mens long sleeve t shirt. Or a hoodie with a dress/skirt. All of these feminine/masculine pairings I can actually pull off very well and I love my personal style. I can pull off mens clothes very well and I'm proud of that haha.

4. My hobbies

I enjoy reading up on a lot of scientific things and I enjoy more action/thriller/noir like films and video games. I also liked playing in the mud as a kid and I liked climbing anything like trees or a small hill haha, and mostly anything I like is always a bit more on the masculine side. However, I still like watching chick flicks from time to time and I still liked makeup and nail polish and pink stuff ever since I was a kid (I'll talk more about that in another take). However I'd say my interests always click more with the guys than the girls.

Now before anyone says it, I do not care if you don't find this attractive (I don't know why, but people always feel the need to judge how I look or what i wear and say they don't find it appealing, well buddy I don't live my life for you to like me). Also, my style and looks are no indications of my sexual preferences, some people may get confused but I don't mind haha it isn't offensive. The same way most girls love embracing their femininity and most guys like embracing their masculinity, I like embracing both but more my masculinity. I might write a take on how I embrace my femininity in my own personal way in the few times I do embrace it. And I'm learning to like myself the way I am and embrace who I am whether or not society likes it or dislikes it I am also learning to give less of a shit about that.

There is also nothing wrong with being a feminine man or a masculine woman like myself especially if your features or body type are just naturally like that. No one should try to be someone other than themselves to please others or try to fit in, if we all try to fit in we will be changing ourselves till eternity trying to please everyone. I say screw it, I'll live however I wanna live. And if you're a naturally balanced or masculine male or feminine female, that's also good. I'm in no way saying you should be like me or force yourself to be something you're not. Embrace your masculinity or embrace your femininity or both at the same time, it's up to you and what you like and feel comfortable with. The key is accepting yourself and being whatever the hell you wanna be!

Hope you liked this take!

[Mornin23]

Sorry to break it to you, but you're a girl, not 'androgynous." Nothing wrong with being a girl who acts/dresses in a masculine manner. But you're still a girl. You wanna wear men's clothes? Cool!

As for the leadership/bluntness you mentioned, I don't consider that masculine at all. That's just strength, nothing more, nothing less.

Otherwise, before you get angry, the only thing I'm really taking issue with is the word androgynous, because there are only two genders. But good take! Happy you're able to embrace your own personal style.

[Letitgoogoo]

Androgynous doesn't mean gender fluid. Androgynous means someone who dresses or looks both masculine and feminine , you know those types of guys who have feminine features or those types of girls that have masculine features and can look like either gender. I'm well aware that I'm a girl , I'm not gender fluid which I think is what you're referring to.

[Wowgirl10q]

Androgynous means high estrogen and hihg testosterone levels. I would be androgynous because of the MMA. Most well rounded woman are

[AD240pCharlie]

I have actually felt pressured to act more feminine than I am, because during most of my high school years, I was surrounded by people who encouraged others to breaks gender norms just for the sake of breaking gender norms. I was led to believe that my dominant and competitive personality was just a way to try and fit in. I actually tried to have a more feminine personality for a while, but I didn't feel comfortable in it. So this can go both ways.

[Letitgoogoo]

Well as long as you feel much more comfortable and like yourself now being masculine and dominant, that's all that matters.
It's certainly the opposite for me , there is a huge amount of pressure to try and fit some physical and personality standard for femininity that I already can't fit in with for so many reasons, so I just said fuck it and became whomever i wanted to be.

[Charlotte_May]

You were being had by liberals son

[VIVANT]

I don’t think most women love embracing their femininity or rather limiting themselves to that definition. Nor men with masculinity. I think about 5 % are extreme and speak if it loudly, but most women and men are in the middle and embrace their traits rather than defining themselves in one spectrum or the other.

Nothing wrong in anything you said and it’s great you are comfortable with yourself but I don’t think masculine/ feminine mean much inherently bc the definition changes easily over time.

[BonnieBunny]

You sound like a cool person that I'd like to befriend

[Letitgoogoo]

Thank you! You are an awesome person for saying that :)

[Jjpayne]

Thanks for sharing!!! This was really cool!! It is fun to see this side of you and to be open to share this side of you with us gaggers!! What kinds of games do you like?

[Letitgoogoo]

L. A. noire , life Is strange , mafia 3 , elder scrolls oblivion , GTA IV ( I played almost all of them but my faves have to be gta 4 , San Andreas and vice city ) . I also occasionally play some pokemon and harvest moon for the nostalgia haha.

[Jjpayne]

NIce!! I totally own Life is Strange and L. A. noire all great picks!!!

[Letitgoogoo]

L. A. noire is my all time favourite , played the game like 4 times haha. It's also set in the 1940s which is one of my favourite era's ! The ending was a little disappointing haha but when you get to play with jack that was way more fun.
Life is strange is very depressing, I thought it was going to be an edgy teenagers game but it was very well done. A bit gloomy but I still loved it. I liked before the storm more though since it explains what happens in the original one.

[Jjpayne]

I have yet to play before the storm and I am looking forward to it! Thanks for the thoughtful reply back!!

[SirRexington]

This is the most moderate and balanced post talking about this sensitive topic I've seen on here. Im genuinely pleased.

There is nothing inherently wrong with being more masculine or feminine than is typically found in each respective sex. But we need to understand that we are still men and women. Something you seem to have accepted. Also I find you are brave because you don't feel you need to change who you are to be yourself.

[ChurchOfIron]

There's nothing wrong with being a feminine man or a masculine woman. But, feminine men are a turn off to most women; as are masculine women to most men. So, it would substantially decrease their dating pool.

But, I spent years "being myself" and not trying to "fit in." And I learned the opposite. I want to fit in, and I'm okay changing myself to some extent in order to do so. I like being liked. And I like being desired.

Nothing wrong with not wanting to change. But there are consequences that go along with that, along with everything.

[somewheresomeway]

I think straight yet feminine men have it much harder than masculine women.

I’m have a masculine appearance (muscular defined body) but I got some feminine sensitivity (nice guy). No one respects that deep down, especially women. It takes a lot of effort to bury it.

[Letitgoogoo]

I've been living like this for a while, but I dont wanna be liked if it means I have to change and not be myself , if people can't even respect me or be decent human beings to me just because I'm different then they are assholes and I would rather not fit in or befriend such people.

[Letitgoogoo]

As for dating , I stopped dating so i dont really mind.

[Letitgoogoo]

@somewheresomeway I know a lot of feminine men and you know what? I respect them the same as masculine men and have even liked feminine men before romantically. I also know a few feminine men in relationships. It doesn't stop you from being liked or respected , just find the right people who dont expect you to be the cookie cutter masculine type of man who is pressured to be something our society has defined you to be. So what if you're a nice guy? what's wrong with that?

[ChurchOfIron]

@somewheresomeway I think it's fine to be nice. It's not fine to be a pushover or be overly accommodating to other people. That's the part that puts people on the defensive, particularly women. "What does this guy want, if he's being so accommodating? What is he trying to get from me?" If they don't know your intentions--what you gain from an exchange--then it will make them uneasy.

Women love niceness and sensitivity--but they want to work for it. And it has to be from strength, not weakness.

Women love the chase way more than men do. They want to know they are special, and that you are being nice and opening up to them just because you trust them and genuinely like them for who they are, not out of desperation to be liked or because you treat everyone like that.

You just have to be nice in a masculine way. Confident and dominant. Not placing others above yourself or being nice to get something in return.

PUA is great.

[somewheresomeway]

Yes yes I’ve read about this who “nice guy” dynamic for years and years. (Doc love, Corey Wayne, the book “no more me nice guy”. I’m genuine because I’m nice to all women whether I want to get in their pants or not. I want the best for people.

But sadly a large percentage of them expect guys to “showcase their assets” and I was raised to be humble. It turns most of them off.

Also I don’t tolerate friend zone bullshit anymore. I just had a girl try to pull that on me two weeks ago and I called her out on it and wished her the best of luck (cut off all connection with her)

But I do have some hang ups/bad memories of how I got taken advantage of when I was younger and naive.

[somewheresomeway]

*whole

[Letitgoogoo]

@somewheresomeway I appreciate men who are genuinely nice people , and I'm sure a lot of other women do too. You just have to find the right kind of women to approach and be yourself around. I dont understand why being nice is a turn off to some women , they must be very shallow.

[ChurchOfIron]

@somewheresomeway I bet feminine men don't get your pussy wet, though.

I'm sure there are a lot of feminine men in relationships. But, 80% of women need masculinity. As men need women to be feminine. We need the other to be whole, in my opinion.

The issue is that he would have to cut out 80-90% potential mates. It's not as easy for males to do that. We have to chase.

Humans are instinctual first and foremost, as neuroscience tells us. The frontal lobe is usually only used to rationalize baser instincts from the amygdala. So, is it that society gave us expectations or we gave society expectations?

There's a reason women desire masculine men. 20,000 years of genetic programming. There's not nearly as much individuality as people think. We are animals, first. Going against instinct is possible, but will leave one feeling entirely unfulfilled.

There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to change. But nothing wrong wanting to change either. In order to better oneself, change is paramount.

[Letitgoogoo]

I personally have been attracted to quite a few feminine men , even in appearance and not just personality. Yes , its instinctual to be attracted to certain things in the opposite sex , but think about how many people are out there. There are a variety of different people and there are even people turned on by feet , so I'm pretty sure there are people out there attracted to feminine men or masculine women. And I go against my instinct by having stopped dating , and i dont feel unfulfilled.
Plus I don't know why you mentioned that masculine women and feminine men will have issues in dating , in my take I mentioned I didn't want people's opinion about that since my life isn't to please people and attract men. Why is it my obligation to be attractive? I'll be myself and if it doesn't appeal to men? that's great , idc , there are a ton of feminine women out there whom they can go to. I'm not going to change my entire personality , style and features to be attractive. It's not worth it.

[somewheresomeway]

I do have a curiosity about tomboys

[ChurchOfIron]

You don't feel unfulfilled *yet*. You're still very young.

We were talking about somewheresomeway's dating, not yours--hence the speaking about "males". The purpose you totally missed that I was saying was it significantly *limits* the dating pool. Not "there is no one who likes ----." and that him trying to change, as he attempts to, is probably a good thing ultimately.

And I also said "You do you. I'm not gonna try to tell you what to be." Idc if you want to be masculine. I'm speaking cause and effect here, not trying to convince anyone to be any way.

[lilaqua]

I believe without a certain amount of femininity, men actually find it harder to date. I prefer androgynous faces and skinny bodies, along with non-aggressive personalities. Someone who's attracted to the uber masculine man seems like somewhat of a minority.

[ChurchOfIron]

@lilaqua Maybe uber-masculine, but masculine, nonetheless. You might say that, but humans are instinct and thought. And there's an evolutionary reason that women prefer masculine men. That's not something that easily changes just due to thought.

[lilaqua]

But you've got to factor in partner choice. It's pretty well researched that women are less likely to date very masculine men, or see them as long term partners.

[ChurchOfIron]

@lilaqua Do you have a source for some of this research? I'll say from my personal experience, I've had much more success expressing masculinity than femininity. Women typically want strong men with leadership qualities.

Women might *say* they prefer feminine men. But, like I said, feeling and thinking are two different things. Two different parts of the brain. Triggering instinct is different from thinking about something when you're not feeling anything. The real measurement needs to happen based on women's actions, not their statements. But I'll take a look at any research you have.

[lilaqua]

Women prefer different kinds of partners at different points in their cycle and whilst pregnant/on the pill. Namely during ovulation they prefer more masculine men and whilst pregnant preferring feminine men.

[ChurchOfIron]

@lilaqua Interesting that you know of that. The ovulatory shift theory by Dr. Martie Haselton, namely. That's some heavy evolutionary psychology that most people aren't aware of. Though, it is still just a theory, as I recall. The theory that human women experience the same sort of "heat" that animals go through, just significantly more subtly.

During the high fertility follicular phase, desiring dominant alpha behaviors and short-term breeding up to ovulation, and during the low fertility luteal phase, desiring supportive, comforting beta behaviors. Still haven't gotten to test that out, because I'd have to ask them about their cycle, and that would be kinda weird. xD

Though, if that is true, it certainly complicates things and explains why men have such a difficult time pleasing women, because we don't function on cyclical behavior or shift between alpha and beta on that kind of timetable.

Where did you hear about that, out of curiosity? I'm kinda impressed.

[lilaqua]

I assumed it was general knowledge.

[ChurchOfIron]

@lilaqua I mean, the idea has been around for a couple decades, but not as general knowledge, as far as I'm aware. Except to evolutionary psychologists. Were you to ask most people, I don't think they would agree that women go through a form of "heat". Perhaps it is in Australia?

[AmerRestInit]

Nice, everyone should live life their own way as long as it doesn't unjustly harm others (justly harming other is fine #batman). Also, glad you did more with this than just seeing masculinity as a style choice.

[Logorithim]

The main thing is that you're comfortable with yourself, because it's hard to go through life without that, Glad to hear you're comfortable with yourself.

[Aguysopinion4799]

Sweet mytake! Fully support this because it's who you are so no point not embracing it ^_^ proud of you :)

[Anonymous]

Do you feel pressure to be a lesbian (you didn’t say if you were)? I say that respectfully.

Straight men and women who have features and characteristics of the opposite gender sometimes often get unfairly labeled. This is especially insulting for straight yet sensitive men.

[Letitgoogoo]

Yeah I've gotten that before , people thinking I'm a lesbian. I dont feel any pressure because I know myself and I know what i like. As far as getting made fun of thats something I'm working on not letting it get to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Good deal. Keep it that way.

I’ve been mocked for being “shoved in the friendzone” for being a nice guy. Its one of those insults that doesn’t roll of my shoulders easily. It hurts because it happened for real more than once from girls I really liked. It’s literally telling me that I’m less than a man to hear or experience that shit

BUT then again I’ve slept with over 40 women (mostly discreet) and have gotten two 3somes. I don’t like to brag about that (especially at my age) but when my back is up against the wall I remember that.

[Letitgoogoo]

I dont view anyone as less than a man just because he's gotten rejected. Also nothing wrong with being a nice guy, women who aren't shallow will care more about who you are as a person rather than if you're a nice guy or not. I personally have no issue with nice guys and I'm sure many other women dont mind either. And that's good that you didn't allow that girl to friendzone you , I always tell people instead of waiting around and letting a girl string you along and keep you hanging just leave and find a girl that's truly worth it who doesn't wanna play games !

[FakeName123]

pics.me.me/...tory-bro-changed-mylife-29380234.png

[Loverpool]

Good on Ya. Just personal preference but long hair, platted at the back like a female warrior would complete the cool look.

[xkildy]

Your face is breathtaking the rest (the ink) no thanks

[Letitgoogoo]

That's ruby rose.

[ShesAmerican]

Good mytake. It’s not always easy to learn on how to accept yourself and appreciate what you can’t change, and I think you are great being. Keep being you.

[Anonymous]

I am a masculine guy who does not like to smile without a reason. I find gothic make up/looks/clothes extremely sex_y and attractive on girls if they have white skin and dark hair.
so I guess you are not masculine enough as you thought :D

[clampfan101]

You don’t have to be a Barbie or Fairy Princess in looks or personality to be a wonderful and beautiful lady.

[Qwerty_0]

I was too distracted by the picture, but I got the jist ^_^

You do you, it's better to embrace who you are than to bottle it up.

[Angelina25]

Embracing your own self is such an important thing people don't do. It's awesome that you have embraced yourself.
All the best for the future :)

[SketchForger]

I'm glad people are starting accept more things about themselves.

[redpanda_]

You do you, whatever makes you happy and whatever that means! Good for you for being open about it though😊

[Guanfei]

You can, but you know a masculine woman is not something very appreciated among men.
Therefore you know that it will have consequences, and you won't be able to force people to like it.

[Letitgoogoo]

I already mentioned that , and said that I dont care if people dont find it attractive. And I also said I stopped dating a few years ago on another take so I personally dont care whether or not anyone find me attractive or not.

[Guanfei]

Then I don't understand the point of your take. Basically, you don't care about anyone or anything, yet you still talk about it.

[Letitgoogoo]

It's to vent and express my own opinion. I care what others think about masculinity and if they themselves are the same or the opposite. But I didn't post this to get the whole ' oh but men dont find it attractive ' response I always get. Not everything a person does is for attracting others.
These takes also help me accept myself more and talk about who I am as a person.

[Charlotte_May]

Only way you can "embrace your masculinity" is if you have a dick amirite lads

[Blunique]

Nope

[Lavinnykins]

Definitely an interesting mytake to read. Not for everyone but if you can, embrace it.