Girl's Behavior

Wanted: A Datable Guy

Dear (Nice) Guy,

This a just one girl’s perspective, but it might be helpful if you've been down on your luck with the ladies.

And if not, I promise to at least try to make it entertaining.

1. Put Some Effort In Your Appearance

If it looks like your mother still buys your clothes, you have a problem. You don’t have to look like you just walked off the set of GQ Magazine, but some effort is appreciated. Pull up your pants, wear a clean shirt and take a shower after you hit the gym. And if acne plagues you, get that cleared up. If you struggle with your weight, put some effort there. Eating healthy and exercising regularly is not a death sentence. You don’t need to have a 6-pack but losing the beer gut might help you with your ultimate goal (see point 2).



2. Admit That Your Ultimate Goal is Sex

There’s no need to sugar-coat it, lie about it or ignoring the fact but ultimately, most guys do want sex and preferably on a regular basis. Now you need to decide an appropriate time frame for getting to your goal. What do you want in the end, a one night stand? A committed long term relationship? Marriage? Decide in what situation you would like to be and then adjust your time frame accordingly. Have some patience if you want something more than a one night stand. Girls aren’t dumb, we know you want sex but we often also decide when you get it. Don’t waste a girl’s time if all you really wanted a friend-with-benefits.

3. Tone Down The Sexual Innuendo

As mentioned in point 2, girls know you want sex. But you don’t have to announce that on the first date. You don’t have to be a complete nice guy about it but tone it down. I do not need a graphic description of what you would do to me if we were alone. Some innuendo is expected, you are a guy after all but keep it under control. You want to aim for flirty and suggestive instead of crude and rude.
"The good guy lends her his coat when she’s cold, but might just try to steal a kiss when she wants to hand it back."

4. Be a Good Guy, Not a Nice Guy

By now you know of the dreaded friend-zone. The friend-zone is for the nice guys. And yes there is such a thing as too nice. Treat a girl well but don’t handle her like she’s going to break. The good guy will hold a girl close on the dance floor. Lends her his coat when she’s cold but might just try to steal a kiss when she wants to hand it back. The nice guy holds the girl at a distance that would make a high school dance chaperone happy (notice I didn’t say it made the girl happy!). He gives her his coat and blushes when she returns it. Moral of the story, stay a man, don’t hand her your balls.

5. Build Your Self-Esteem

Everyone has insecurities. Stopping worrying about it. As long as you followed point 1, stop worrying about silly things like the size of your package. Focus on making the girl you are interested in feel beautiful because, trust me, she’s got insecurities too. Love who you are because no girl wants to listen to your insecurities (although you will be expected to listen to hers).

6. Lose The Baggage and Deal With Rejection

It happens. Girls are going to turn you down. You are a guy, it apparently comes with the territory. If you get shot down, smile, turn and walk away. I know it hurts, believe it or not, I have been rejected too but you must move on. And if your ex-girlfriend messed you up, go have a few beers and sort that out before you return to the dating scene. Every girl is unique and different, it is unfair to think all girls will react to you the same way.

7. Leave Your Skeletons (and Ex-Girlfriends) In the Closet

Reveal sensitive information on a need-to-know basis. You do not need to share all the details of your past, in particular how many beds your boots have been parked under. The same goes for your porn collection, if we don’t see it, we’d rather not know you watch it.

8. Learn To Hold Your Liquor

If you drink, learn your limit and stay there. If you drink to the point where you do not remember that night, you might have missed out on a great girl... because you don’t remember. Having a few is fine but keep it under control. Every girl has a story about that really drunk guy one night when she was out about town and unless you want to be that guy (and not remember it), be your own liquor control board.
Gogus olculeri

9. Clean Up Your Reputation

If you are a nice guy but girls warn each other that “he’s weird,” you might want to take a step back. Did you not pay for that date the one time? Did you push a girl for sex on the first date? Are you constantly going for girls out of your league? Have you slept with most of the cheerleaders? I’m not going to lie here, girls gossip. So if you have a less than stellar record with the ladies, we’ll hear about it. Treat each and every girl with respect. A girl’s friends liking you can make the difference between her saying yes when you ask her out and getting turned out in the cold.

10. Get Some Confidence

You are going to have to do much of the approaching when it comes to finding girls. If you can not approach a girl and hold a conservation, start there. You do not want to come across as overly shy or nervous, there is point where it is not cute anymore (and did you really want to be considered cute anyway?). There is no need to go overboard and get arrogant but confidence is sexy. This is probably the hardest and most important step. If you don’t have a lot of confidence, everything else doesn’t really matter.


Alright, that’s it from me. This is just a start but it might just get you thinking. There is no quick fix, your appeal to the opposite gender is work in progress but hopefully you got some ideas from this. And if not, at least a few laughs.

Sincerely,

The Girl You Complain to About Being Single Every Friday Night
Wanted: A Datable Guy
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