“True” Femininity


During this day and age, femininity has so many contradicting meanings. Some equate it to just a certain sense of style, others, more recently, equate it with the “strong, independent woman” stereotype. Because this is something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, I thought I would share my own conclusions and opinions on “True Femininity.”

First and foremost, I would like to say that I do not think that the way you dress is integral to being feminine. However, it can enhance the appearance of being feminine. I’ve known some of the most enchanting and truly feminine women who did not dress in beautiful and “girly” clothing all the time. Their femininity simply radiated from their every word and act.

I believe that true femininity is within reach for every woman, no matter how brash, strong, and/ or independent they are. Being feminine has become something of a taboo among many young women my age due to the negative implications that they incorrectly presume that it has. In reality, being feminine does not mean that you are weak or a doormat. Quite the opposite, in fact. It requires an inner strength, compassion, and durability that is often forgotten about.

For me, being truly feminine has to do with the manner in which you conduct yourself both outwardly and inwardly. There is a type of courtesy and inner strength of will that is necessary to be truly “feminine.”

Here is a list of some of the attributes that I personally associate with true femininity:

Kindness- choosing to be kind or do the kind thing even when it would be easier or more popular to be mean, cruel, or simply ignore other’s suffering.

Gentleness- conducting yourself and speaking in a manner that is not overly harsh and is instead soft in order to make others feel more at ease.

Selflessness- doing the work that must be done without fanfare and even at the expense of more pleasurable opportunities. Also, putting the wants of your family ahead of your own in order to maintain the peace. (This does not mean putting the wants of others ahead of your NEEDS)

Gracefulness- this one is twofold. Being graceful and merciful to those who have made a mistake (not to be done to the excess.) Also, the manner in which you move, think, and speak. Think fluid, airy movements, kind and adaptable to every situation and person thoughts, and soft spoken and supportive words.

Optimism- Seeing the good in everyone, everything, and every situation. Filled with hope for a better tomorrow, and strengthening your loved ones with this hope.
Consideration- taking into account other information you know about something or someone in order to make a conversation or even that person’s life better, even if just temporarily.
Strength- this can be physical strength, but I’m speaking more on the mental strength and perseverance. Despite all that goes wrong and all that is lacking, the ability to stay strong in who you are, what you believe in, and hold onto the important things.

Benevolence- having the genuine desire to help those who are suffering or who are worse off than you are. Wanting to be a helping hand.
Empathy- feeling the pain of others as if it was your own.

Comforting- using the right words and actions to help put another at ease and help mitigate the hurt that they are feeling.

There is so many other attributes I could list, but I thought I would stop there lest the list become too long.

“True” Femininity

In the end, I think femininity is a bright light in the darkness. It is where others find peace and freedom from pain, and is a rallying point after anguish has been felt. The inner essence of femininity is a force unlike any other. Embrace your femininity, you might be surprised by the joy you feel, and the courtesy others show you.

“True” Femininity
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Mercedes79
    I actually joined a group that helps women be more feminine in their relationships with men. The main things are allowing a man to step up, and lead the relationship forward. The thinking behind this is women’s bodies are naturally made to receive and mens are made to give. We should not be chasing men and we should lean back and allow them to pace the relationship. When we tell the things that bother us we should tell them how we feel and allow them to step up to fix things or reject them, not treat them like we are their mother and try to change them. This is just a short description there is much more to femininity.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Oldman70

      Being feminine for your partner is serving a basic need of all men, and solicits kind and equal reciprocation in areas that you like and need..

  • JHwong
    Great take! While some cultural definitions of femininity tells you to express femininity in a one-dimensional way of being subservient, I personally believe you can express your femininity in a variety of way depending on who you are and the people you interact with. Your point about optimism is especially brilliant, and I think optimism should be the focal point of what femininity is all about~ Optimism pretty much is what lets you see the bright light in the darkness, and the rest is how you want to receive and express that light to yourself and loved ones.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guys

  • RingOfFire
    Stunning and refreshing insight from someone your age. Just when I thought your entire generation was hopelessly lost to woke propaganda you have proven me wrong.

    You mentioned that there were other attributes which remained unmentioned. I think nurturing should be near the top.

    You somehow rose above the din and realized that these traits are not signs of weakness but of strength: that women don't derive their worth from being just like men, but by being the perfect compliment to mens' strengths that together make the human race all that it can be.

    Thank you for restoring my faith.
    Is this still revelant?
    • KaylaJoy

      Thank you for the stellar and uplifting response! I thought about adding nurturing to the list, but I think so many of the other traits that I did describe when added together already describe the nurturing nature.

    • KaylaJoy

      Such as kindness , comforting, optimistic, considerate, and gentle.

    • RingOfFire

      I agree with you. I was thinking the same thing as I read it. Much, but not all, of the nurturing concept was covered in those parts.

      I admire you deeply. You are wise for your years.

    • Show All
  • JackSmy
    Can I say that what you wrote, made me think of the women I have loved, and cared so much about, and almost crying, at the way you said this, so well, and I completely agree!
    I have ALWAYS, respected women, and I just assume that they are EQUALS, as why shouldn't they be?
    I wonder, though, what some 'Feminists' may say, about your post?
    Unlike them, though, YOU CLEARLY DEFINE what you think is Femininity! They, collectively, can't seem to define "FEMINISM"!!
    Curious to know, if you have a sense, a feeling for that definition, perhaps, just an extension of what you said, so eloquently?
    Is this still revelant?
    • KaylaJoy

      Thank you for your thoughtful response! Are you asking me to define feminism?

    • JackSmy

      @KaylaJoy I have been asking ANYONE, to REALLY define, what 'Feminism' REALLY is, for years!
      Nobody will commit to any 'definition' and I think that NOBDY KNOWS!! It seems to mean different things, for different women!
      So how do guys know, and how can we relate, accept, and understand this, if there is just a collection of totally different ideas, and definitions?
      I would assume that all would agree, on EQUALITY, and I am not, in any way against that! But after that? Who knows?

    • KaylaJoy

      I can’t really venture to try to define modern day feminism in first world countries like our own since I, myself, am not a modern day feminist. Sorry that I can’t offer you a definition.

    • Show All

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Anonymous
    This is a great take. What you describe is indeed true femininity.

    Femininity cannot be redefined, as some seem to think. The things that make women feminine and men masculine were defined many thousands of years ago by Mother Nature. She gets the final word, and I'm pretty sure she hasn't changed her mind.
    • KaylaJoy

      Exactly my opinion

    • Anonymous

      Well thanks for sharing your opinion. I think most men feel the same but a lot of women don't and will be defensive or even attack someone who says some of the things you said here, which is really sad. I think it's the influence of feminism. It seems feminists critical of femininity unless it is a man who is being feminine, and critical of masculinity unless it is a woman. What a crazy world.

    • Anonymous

      I see you've encountered @Aphrodite801, one the the staunchest feminists on GAG over the last 5 years or so, though she has not been around much lately, at least not while not anonymous. I suspect she has been posting a lot anonymously since there have been a number of hateful anti-male posts by pink anons lately. She is a self-proclaimed lesbian and very anti-male for the most part. Feminists like her do NOT like to see anyone advocate for women embracing their femininity.