I know im no one but i really want to help girls on here from my own past mistakes. I see so many young girls on this site sexulising themselves on here and posting selfies desperate for mens validation purely based on their looks. Also this mytake can also be for young men as i know some of what im saying could possibly relate to their experiences too.
Im gonna speak from my own personal experience from when i was abit younger on here on my old account. Please don't judge me im only talking about this so other girls can relate and see why what they are doing is so bad for their mental health and self worth.
Long story short when i was 19, i fell madly in love for the first time with a who broke my heart lots of times and made me feel like i was nothing. Before i met him, i was very shy, modest and insecure. For a while he made me feel good about myself and my confidence sky rocketed but as soon as I'd finished with him it my confidence levels were at zero.
I needed to feel validated again. I told my story about this boy on here on my old account and quickly a guy appeared in my dms. He started off as a friend but then he'd say stuff like this guy who rejected me was "stupid, blind, crazy" etc.
He started telling me i was beautiful and made me feel good again. Soon he started trying to sext with me. I didn't want to do it but in the end he convinced me. I only really did it for him because he'd make me feel good so i thought i should return the favour.
Time went by and things got a lot more romantic between us. He started pushing me into doing cam stuff after me saying no and that i felt uncomfortable many times but he said if he didn't he'd stop speaking to me so i did it because i didn't want him to leave as i was so lonely and i actually thought this was the only kind of relationships i could have with men. Soon i just became his sex object with no feelings to him. We'd fall out all the time and go months without speaking because deep down i knew what i was doing was wrong.
Other boys came along and i started doing similar with them. Id do whatever they told me to do even if I'd said no a couple times before. I just wanted to feel good about myself. But afterwards i just felt dirty and disappointed im myself leading me to hate myself more.
Eventually it all got too much and a good friend saved me and he doesn't even know about it. He made me feel good in different ways. He'd tell me i was funny and was a kind person and but i needed to move on from the boy
who broke my heart and find someone new who made me happy. Eventually i did and two years on i couldn't be more happier with my boyfriend. He respects me and tells me he likes my attitude and that i always make him smile as well as making me feel beautiful without taking my clothes off.
- Signs your falling into this trap
- Your constantly posting pictures of yourself online and asking others how you look.
- You throw yourself at any man that gives you attention
- You'll do anything that man tells you to do eventually even if at first you think it wrong and he makes you believe it's no big deal.
- Your hiding your phone from others.
- Your going through a hard time emotionally
- You lack self esteem
- You've been made to feel ugly before by people you trusted
- Your lonely and bored
- You've actually never had a real boyfriend before
- You think this guy who's talking to you online and asking for things you don't feel comfortable with attractly cares about you.
- Your constantly getting praised on your looks and nothing else
- They start comparing how they'd treat you compared to the men who treated you badly in the past
- They don't actually care about your life and don't tell you anything about there's.
- They disappear from time to time
- They ask you to download apps like kik and Snapchat to talk to the.
- You give into emotional black mail
- They think you own them something for being nice to you.
- They use fake pictures off Google and pretend it's them.
- How to get out of the trap and better yourself.
- If your underage tell a trusted adult and report it to the police.
- If your going through a hard time get off social media, it's toxic as hell sometimes. If it's too hard delet your apps, hide your phone and start doing something you enjoy to distract yourself like go for a walk or watch a movie.
- Hang around with people who make you feel good about yourself. Friends, family and pets
- Get a hobbie
- Speak to others about how your feeling emotionally
- Start dating none toxic people who like you for you in the real world
- Take a look at what you're actually doing and ask yourself if it's actually making you happy in the long run.
- Block all them fuck boys and delete their contacts.
- Delete your social media accounts and avoid social media for as long as you feel your ready for.
- Stop caring about others opinions of you and if you start to feel uncomfortable shut them down straight away.
- If someone wants to dm you be straight to the point with them about asking them their motivations.
- Spend more time outside in nature
- Realise if people don't like you for you thats their problem not yours.
- Don't let anyone make you feel less then you are
- Stop trying to please others
- Don't hang around with people who just want to stroke your ego. The best friends you can have are the one's who are honest with rather you. like it or not its because they care.
- Move on from the people who used and abused you and see it as a stepping stone and a learning curve to becoming your best self and finding happiness.
- Stop criticising yourself it doesn't just hurt you it's hurts the people around you who love you.
- Don't let anyone take you for granted
- Don't make time for people who don't make time for you
- Ask yourself what was the route cause of you wanting validation and try and fix them demons
- Don't waste your tears on people who aren't wasting theirs on you
- Don't let people talk down to you and tell you your not good enough and tell them why they shouldn't.
- Be proud of who you are no matter your achievements